LOST 2: The Mysterious Island
by Supper Hot Turk
Summary: This is a parody of LOST that is basically just the plane crash in an alternate universe... where everyone is insane. Enjoy.
1. We Must Kill the Pilot part one

**WE MUST KILL THE PILOT**  
**A parody of LOST **  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

Jack's tired hazel eyes opened.

Where was he? He asked himself that question over and over, begging his brain to make sense of his surroundings. Where was he? What had happened? _What_ was going on!

He was in a jungle. The answer came to him quickly, because even dazed and confused he was quite an intelligent man. He was in the jungle, because... because...

The plane had crashed. He remembered it now. The plane shaking rapidly, shaking him around harshly, and him slipping unconscious right after the back part of the plane was torn off. He reached for his pocket and felt the vodka he had stored there before the crash. The bottle appeared to not have broken. He pulled it out of his pocket, unscrewed the top, and drank heavily. He still wasn't entirely sure what was happening to him. Where was the plane? Where was everyone else?

As he tried to think of a plan he had a flashback.

_Jack sat in his seat on the plane, trying to think of a new way to get alcohol as he stared out the window. He pretended to be finishing his drink as the flight attendant named "Cindy" walked by._

_"How's your drink?" she asked him with grin. Jack could tell that she liked him very very much._

_"Fine," he replied, glad he was single and attractive and rich. And that Cindy appeared to be too. And that they had so much chemistry right now._

_"That's not a very strong response," she told him with a sexy smile that melted all the wary ice right off of Jack's golden heart._

_"It's not a very strong drink," Jack said, and they shared a quiet little laugh._

_Cindy gave him a small bottle of vodka. "It'll be our secret," she told him with a smile as she walked away. "Don't tell." Jack stared after her as she walked down the isle, her hips moving in a fascinating way. Flirting was fun._

_The middle aged black lady sitting next to Jack rolled her eyes at him. Obviously she disagreed. "That must be the tenth one you've flirted with today," she scolded him. He beamed at her, showing off all his straight, white teeth._

_"Thirteenth, actually," he replied, taking care to do so in a very flirtatious manner. _

_"Good thing I'm married," she said to him very sternly as he batted his long, dark eyelashes intensely at her._

_"What's your husband's name?" Jack asked. She smiled at him, happy memories lighting up her brown eyes. Jack felt a pang of jealousy. His own marriage hadn't gone very well. _

"_Bernard. I'm Rose," the woman said, and she offered Jack her hand, which he took after a long moment of awkwardness._

_Just then the plane bumped up and down violently, and Jack gripped his seat in alarm. "Jeez! What kind of pilot would do that?" he asked. He suddenly had a headache. The hairs on the back of his neck were rising. Rose gave him a look. _

"_Turbulence is normal," she said. "And this isn't exactly the plane to be flying on if it's safety you want."_

"_And why's that?" Jack asked, struggling to remain calm. He was starting to get confused. Why was he so upset? He was a rational person. Turbulence was normal. Anyway, what had Rose said? That this plane wasn't safe? If she knew something like that, then why would she ride on it? _She doesn't know that_, Jack told himself. _She's messing with you_. But she looked pretty surprised at having to explain. Realistically surprised. This annoyed Jack._

_"This plane is being flown by _Seth Norris_," she said just as the plane experienced another bout of turbulence. Someone screamed in the row behind them. Jack felt sick._

"_Who's Seth Norris?" Jack yelled over the noise of the plane, but Rose didn't reply because the plane was shaking very violently now and much to his horror Jack thought that he heard parts being ripped off behind him._

_This was it. He was going to die. And so young, too. His father had gotten at least twenty-five more years of life. Poor mom, Jack thought. Losing the only people who didn't hate you both in one year._

_"BERNARD!" Rose yelled frantically, looking around for her husband as the back of the plane began making terrible banging noises, but no one heard her. Too many people were screaming, including Jack. He looked around behind him to see the tail section and screamed even harder because, whatever was causing it, the plane was ripping apart. _

_Not able to take it any longer, Jack blacked out._

Jack woke with a start, cursing himself. Flashbacks struck him often, making him fall unconscious and relive a memory. He wasn't really sure what caused them, because his memories shouldn't have been traumatic enough to make him have to reexpieriance them, but he had seen them a lot in his career as a doctor, and they annoyed him to the point of violence.

Now he had more important thing to do then have flashbacks, like follow the screams that were starting to come from the distance. Jack hopped up and ran, following the grating sounds. How could there have been a plane crash? When _he_ was on the plane?

As he got closer to them, he began to get a better bearing of his surroundings. He was in a forest, or maybe a jungle, and there was a beach up ahead, where the screams were coming from. Jack could also hear a terrible whirling noise coming from over there. He made it out of the jungle, sprinted out onto the beach, and was amazed by what he saw.

The wreckage was terrible. People were hurt, screaming, dying, crying, but that's not what made Jack stare. Over all of the ruins, a huge rainbow spread out. It was beautiful, amazing, so vivid. And right underneath it was...

Nikki Fernandez from Expose, Jack's favorite show ever. Was this a dream? It sure seemed like a dream. Nikki had been the object of Jack's secret lust for several years now. He watched all her shows. Read all her interviews. Had pictures of her on his phone. And now she was here, on this island, with him. But Jack didn't have time to stare at actresses right now, even beautiful ones that he had pined away for for years. He got to work running around helping people, but he kept Nikki in his mind at all times... if anything happened to her, he'd be there to save her within milliseconds.

There were tons of less amazing people stumbling around, bloody and battered. Some young guy was running around asking for pens for some reason. He didn't seem to really know what was going on. As most people seemed to do, he ran straight up to Jack. It must have been his air of competence that attracted fools to him– they needed to know what was going on, and Jack could tell them. Not that he would, though.

"Do you have a pen!" the man asked frantically.

"No! Get away!"Jack snapped, suddenly having no time for losers. He had just seen the lady he'd been talking to on the plane, the married one, Rose, lying on the ground, looking dead.

Jack and the young guy ran over to her.

"Why don't you get me a pen?" Jack asked him. "To do that thing where you poke there chest and open up a breathing passage or whatever." Jack wasn't really sure what to do. He was a doctor, not a CPR instructor, and hadn't done this maneuver for years.

"What do you think I've been doing!" the guy asked him, running off to follow the instructions.

Not having the time or patience to wait for the pen, Jack just improvised by pounding on her chest (which he called JACK SHEPHARD CPR), and it worked. Rose took a breath and sat up. She was alive. Jack stared at her for a moment, trying to understand why anyone would ever get on plane they didn't think was safe, when a scream from behind him made him get up again.

He ran over to get a blonde pregnant girl away from a creepy bald guy. He pushed her away just as part of the wreckage fell right where she had been standing a second ago. It also narrowly missed some guy in a black sweatshirt.

Jack felt like screaming and hiding. But he was a doctor, so he had to help. It was part of a deal that he had signed with his dad to become a surgeon. He _had _to save people, and if he didn't he would face severe punishment. So he ended up helping people for another half an hour, until no one seemed in any immediate danger. It was tiring work, but he did it easily and was soon able to find a place to be alone and stitch up his own wound, which was on his back and bleeding heavily.

He thought about their situation as he sat on the sand, which had been white but was quickly getting dyed a dark red shade from all the blood. Everything seemed pretty good when he thought about it. They were on a tropical island, and in a couple of hours someone would find them and help them off. Might as well prepare for the rescue. Maybe he'd earn some sort of fancy award for saving so many people. The thought made him very excited.

Just then, someone came out from behind some of the trees and walked onto Jack's little part of the beach. It was a young woman with long, curly brown hair, a nice athletic figure, and freckles on her gorgeous face. She was almost as pretty as Nikki. Jack decided to make her sew up his back because he couldn't really reach it and besides, she was cute.

"Have you ever patched a pair of jeans? Or someone's back?" he asked her. She looked startled to see someone there and it took her a moment to answer his question.

"No... but I have made some curtains before," she said. Her voice was nice. It sounded strong but sweet, and Jack noted that she had deliciously creamy brown eyes.

"Good, come patch me up," Jack told her. She looked rather upset by this.

"With the curtains, my friend did all the work. I can't sew worth a darn."

"Well, I don't care. My back's not gonna sew itself up, now is it?" He sneered at her because now she looked guilty. She looked good guilty. But it made Jack feel bad for her.

"What color thread do you want?" she asked him nervously, searching through his bag slowly, picking up a needle and staring at it with apprehension.

"Salmon," Jack replied. She started sewing his back, cringing with each pull of the needle.

"I'm probably going to throw up all over you and the wound will get infected and you'll die and we won't have a hero and we'll all panic and– I don't know– kill each other," she said all in a rush, sweating heavily all over the wound. Jack let out a long, low whistle, impressed.

"You'll kill each other?" he said. Gosh, he was pleased. He was their hero! Without him, they would be murderers. What a pleasant idea.

"By accident, of course," she clarified for him.

"Oh sure..." Jack smiled and decided to trust her with a bit of wisdom. "You know, when I was your age we didn't murder people. We counted. To five. And then they were dead."

"What?" She stared at him in confusion. Jack leaped at the chance to tell his favorite story.

"I was doing a surgery once when I was your age and I made a huge life threatening mistake, cutting the patient's heart clean in half. Blood was spilling everywhere and her insides were pouring out as the more thing tried to beat. I didn't know what to do; neither did anyone else. So I counted to five, a technique my father had suggested to me once that supposed to help calm you." The woman was staring right into his soul now. He stared back. "I counted. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. And when I stopped, the patient had died. It was the worst day of my life."

The woman was completely speechless as she finished up on Jack's back.

"Thank you, lady," he said feeling like he'd made a good first impression on her. She was intimidated, he could see that. And intimidation and worship were very close.

"Kate. My name's Kate," she said awkwardly, and stood up.

"Thank you, Kate," Jack said, and they stared into each other's eyes some more.

…...

That night, James "Sawyer" Ford walked down the beach, trying to get away from the wreckage. He shook his golden-brown hair out of his face and wondered what to do with his life, assuming that he was going to get off the island. For what must have been about the hundredth time, he thought to himself, _I really shouldn't have killed that guy. Why, why didn't I stop? Check to see if he was the right person?_

If only he hadn't been so _angry_.

Sawyer sat down on the sand, feeling close to tears again. He tried to distract himself, but all he had to think about was the way he'd murdered that man, and the plane crash. For the sake of his sanity, he decided to think about the crash.

Sawyer was pretty sure that planes like this didn't just crash for no reason. This made him suspect that it had been hijacked by terrorists. Somehow, they gotten onto the plane and had for some reason tried to crash it into the ocean or something. Thank God, at least forty people seemed to have survived.

_The guy I killed is dead, though. The guy I shot in the chest without a second thought._

Sawyer hid his face in his hands, completely unable to live with himself at the moment. He did not deserve to be rescued from this island. He deserved to stay here and waste away, forever regretting what he had done.

"Hey," someone said, plopping down next to him. Sawyer looked up and wiped his eyes. It was a young man with dirty blond hair, smiling at him shyly. The ocean was reflected on his light blue eyes.

"Hello," Sawyer said quietly. He didn't feel much like talking to strangers right now.

"Pretty awful what's happened to us, right?" the guy said lightly. He had a thick British accent. Sawyer shook his head at him.

"Yeah."

"I'm Charlie, by the way," he said, and he stuck out his hand for Sawyer to shake. Sawyer reluctantly shook it once.

"I'm Sawyer."

Charlie laughed a little, staring out at the water. When Sawyer asked him what was so funny, he just laughed even more. Finally he calmed down slightly.

"You sound like a cowboy," he said.

"Are you feeling okay?" Sawyer asked wearily. Charlie frowned.

"Yeah, actually, _no_. I'm feeling a bit... I dunno. Sick?" Sawyer sighed. He just wasn't it a very good mood right now. He normally didn't get impatient with people.

"Well, why don't you go have… coffee or something?"

At the mention of coffee Charlie had gasped slightly, then blushed. He hopped– there was no other word for it– into a standing position and said quickly, "Silly Sawyer, I, er, hate coffee. Well, gotta go, uhm..." He skipped away. Sawyer stared after him as he walked off.

When he was alone again, though, his old thoughts started cycling through his brain so he decided to go meet some more people. He lit a cigarette as he made his way back to the clusters of people, throwing it onto the ground after just one puff. Littering didn't matter here, anyway, it was such a mess.

Some people had already made a little clique, and Sawyer loitered around them, listening in on their conversation, feeling like he wasn't good enough to interact with other humans.

"... eight-and-a-half months," said a very pregnant lady with a heavy Australian accent and golden hair. They didn't notice Sawyer watching them.

"And you were allowed on the plane?" This came from an attractive young man with thick dark hair and bright blue eyes.

"Well, obviously," said a fat guy with curly brown hair down to his shoulders.

"Yeah, Boone, she's here, isn't she?" said a tall girl Boone shifted around uncomfortably. "Well, sorry," he said in a whiny voice. "I was just making conversation. If that's alright with you, Shannon?"

"Kid," said a tall man with really short brown hair, hazel eyes and a thin face, "If you have to ask if it's alright, just assume it's not." Someone laughed at that. Sawyer turned to see who it was and felt his heart stand still.

_I'm looking at the most beautiful woman in the world right now. I _must_ be_, he thought. She had curly brown hair, big brown eyes, and freckles all over her fair face. Sawyer stared at her, taking her all in, helpless to her beauty, and she became aware she was being watched. She started and met his gaze. She smiled.

"Hey there," she said. "Who're you?"

Suddenly everyone was staring at him. Sawyer blushed.

"I'm Sawyer," he said. "And you are?" To his annoyance, the thin faced guy answered for her.

"She is Kate. I'm Jack, and this is Claire," he pointed at the pregnant girl, "and Hurley," the fat guy nodded at Sawyer. "And Shannon and Boone, too. Boone's a loser who looks for pens. Oh, and I'm Jack Shephard."

"You already said that," Hurley pointed out.

"Thought he might have forgotten."

"That's likely..." muttered Claire under her breath.

Jack shrugged arrogantly. Sawyer felt like he didn't really like this guy very much but he was still polite. "Yeah, okay," Sawyer said. "Thanks for introducing me."

Just then, though, he froze, because there was a strange rumbling sound coming from the jungle. As it got louder, the group exchanged looks, and they all wandered closer to the sound to see what it was. People were starting to panic already.

"Is that you, Walt?" asked a strange man in a suit, running past them.

"No, DAD!" This was followed by a lot of swearing. A Korean couple ran by then, too, holding hands but arguing with each other. Sawyer heard someone call them "Sun" and "Jin".

Everyone eventually made their way to the brim of the jungle and stood still, listening anxiously to the crashing, bellowing sound. It was getting louder and louder.

Suddenly, the jungle caught on fire. People screamed and ran away from the flames as fast as possible, flailing and tripping and getting in each other's way. The next moment, though, the fire stopped, the plants undamaged, like it had never happened. Sawyer stared at the jungle even harder now, very confused.

"That," Charlie said, coming up from behind Sawyer and looking impressed, "was terrific."

After an hour or so, things had calmed down. But Jack was now totally freaked out, and he wondered if their situation was really all that great. He started crying manly tears of fright, but Kate kissed them away for him. They bonded quickly after that.

By the morning, most people were pretty tired. No one had really slept after the monster invasion thing. Sun and Jin were now on another part of the beach entirely, fishing and being isolated, because they apparently couldn't speak English, not even a little.

Also that morning, Charlie was going through a personal crisis.

Jack and Kate, oblivious to this, were making a plan. They were going to go find the cockpit and get a little black box ,to try to use it to contact the outside world to help them find them. Jack didn't want Kate to go with him because it might be dangerous, so he kept making up excuses for her not to go.

"You need to put your hair in a ponytail first," Jack said. She did.

"You need to remove your make-up," Jack said. She did. She was still beautiful. SO BEAUTIFUL.

"You need to wear different pants," Jack said. Kate put on good, durable jeans. They clung to her long legs perfectly.

"You're gonna need different shoes," Jack said. She changed into thick brown boots and Jack was out of excuses. He had to let her go with him. _Well, this stinks, _he thought morosely as he packed himself some water.

On another part of the beach some of the survivors of the crash were in a little circle, talking. The fat guy, Hurley, was in the circle, and so were Charlie, Walt, Walt's dad Michael, Boone, Shannon and Sayid.

"Does anyone have any sunblock?" asked Shannon, sounding exhausted. She had dark purple circles underneath her eyes from lack of sleep.

"Um, yes, actually, I do," said Charlie. He gave it to her with a shy smile. She began smearing it on her tan arms, Boone watching her quite closely, almost leering.

"Dude, you only did that 'cause she's pretty," Hurley snapped at Charlie. "You'd never give it to me."

"Do you want some?" Charlie asked, his voice strained. Hurley rolled his eyes.

"No, I don't need any of your stupid sunblock. I'm worrying about more important things, like the fuselage. And the B-O-D-I-E-S inside." Everyone shuddered... the bodies...

"What are you spelling, man?" asked Michael, Walt's dad.

"Bodies, you idiot," said Walt, and he jumped up and stalked of.

"WAAAAALT!" yelled Michael, and he ran after him, making everyone sigh with relief, just as Jack walked up to the circle with Kate.

"Guys, we're going to go find the front of the plane, to get a little black box that will help us contact the outside world," Jack told the group in a flat, emotionless voice. They all nodded slowly, not understanding why, of course, but not protesting because it seemed to make sense?

"Is the bathroom in the front of the plane?" asked Charlie excitedly. Everyone stared at him.

"Why yes, I think so," said Jack. "Why?"

"So I can get my bloody dr... I mean so I can... throw up... or something. Heh heh," Charlie glanced around nervously. Jack stared at him.

"You want to come with us?" he asked in indignation.

"Yeah," Charlie said like it was perfectly acceptable. Jack was about to say no but Kate gave him a look and so he had to agree to impress her.

"DANG IT," he moaned, feeling destroyed. He didn't want very many people coming with him. Now he would be responsible with three lives instead of just one. "Well, come on then..." Before Jack left, though, he asked Boone to keep an eye on the dying guy.

"But what if he dies?" Boone asked nervously. "I mean, he's pretty close to death right now."

"Then you let him rot," Jack snarled, out of patience, and he stomped off, followed quickly by Charlie and Kate.

...

Jack, Kate, and Charlie were making very slow progress. Jack's shoe laces kept getting untied, and Charlie's hands shook so much that he couldn't help tie them, and Kate had apparently never learned the proper way to tie shoes. So Jack kept tripping.

At some unspecified time of their journey, Kate turned around to Charlie and asked him,

"Why do I find you so familiar?" Charlie looked positively elated.

"You recognize me?" he grinned, his eyebrows bobbing up and down in excitement. Kate nodded her head in affirmation.

"Yes!"

"I think I know why," Charlie said, but he didn't elaborate.

"Well, why!" Kate asked after a long moment. But Charlie didn't answer. Instead, he began to sing.

"_You all, everybody! You all, everybody_!"

" What?" Kate said, staring at him. His singing voice was really high-pitched and hurt her ears. She didn't understand what he was trying to do.

"Haven't you ever heard that song before?" Charlie asked, looking rather hurt.

"Well, yeah." It was, after all, mega popular song two years ago. Everyone, poor fellows, had heard it at some point in their life.

"That's us! Drive Shaft!" Charlie said, making it sound like the most important thing in the world. Kate was disgusted.

"You _made that song_?"

"Yeah! I play bass!" Charlie said, nodding frantically in joy.

"You were in that band," Kate said in an accusatory tone. Charlie seemed to finally realize that she wasn't as happy as him.

"Yes! Why? Don't you like it?" he asked. Kate rolled her eyes.

"No way, I hate it," she said, unable to sugarcoat her feelings for him. "I actually threw up at the concert I went to because the music was so bad." She hated it so much that she was just going to be completely, brutally honest with him.

Charlie looked heartbroken. _Maybe Jack likes it_, he thought. "Hey, Jack, have you ever heard of Drive Shaft?" he asked.

Jack gave him an exhausted and bewildered look that seemed not to say, _What am I missing here_? but _What's wrong with you? Will you leave me alone? _Charlie laughed nervously.

"You know... _You all everybody, you all everybody_!" Charlie sang. Jack looked like he was about to vomit.

"Stop singing NOW!" he screamed, reaching up to his head as if to pull out hair put finding that he had a buzz cut. "We have to keep going."

They continued on their way in silence.

...

Around an hour later, they got to the front part of the plane.

"Now, guys, be careful," said Jack, looking only at Kate. She smiled back at him, looking flattered with, but not unused to, the attention.

"Why?" Charlie asked. Jack grudgingly answered him.

"I've heard a rumor that Seth Norris flew this plane," he warned them.

"Who's he?" asked Charlie.

"I don't know, but he sounds dangerous." Jack started to explain, but just then there was a loud cackling from the cockpit. It started to rain. Jack thought of fire from last night and panicked.

"Stay close to me!" he said to Kate protectively. He didn't really care about Charlie. _No one likes you, _he thought at him, but he wasn't a telepath_, _and Charlie never heard him.

They entered the cockpit cautiously and started climbing up the plane, which had landed at an angle and made a steep slope. They were surrounded by dead bodies and there were disturbing chuckles coming every couple seconds from the front of the plane. _Very_ disturbing. Jack shuddered but bravely climbed on.

After a couple minutes, Jack and Kate got to the very front of the plane and Charlie escaped into the bathroom.

When they got into the cockpit, the first thing they saw was the co-pilot, tied and gagged to his chair. It was horrible. "Help me!" he yelled in a muffled voice. Jack's eyes grew wide. He wondered why he had even come up here.

Suddenly, a man in a black cloak, with glowing red eyes, swept down from the ceiling. He grabbed the co-pilot, laughing, and pulled him out through one of the broken windows. A moment later the windows were splattered with blood. Kate shrieked.

Now actually scared, Jack noticed that Charlie was missing.

"Where's Charlie?" he asked, hardly caring. Kate just whimpered, staring at the blood.

Charlie came running out of the bathroom just then. "Did you say me named? What's happened!" Then he noticed the blood. And he too screamed. Because the blood hadn't just splattered in a normal pattern. It had splattered so that the words "Love, Seth" were readable. All three of them began screaming even louder but the words didn't go away.

Jack grabbed the little black box and the three of them slid down the front of the plane like a slide. And they ran for their lives.

It was pouring rain now. And blood. They ran as fast as they could. They slipped and slid. Finally Kate got under the shelter of a tree. And she saw that everyone else was somehow gone.

"JACK!" she called out frantically. But he didn't answer her. She was so scared she wanted to die. So she counted five, like Jack had said in that ridiculous story he had told her. Maybe it would kill her? In her terrified state, it seemed likely.

"One. Two. Three. Four. Five," she counted, but when she had finished, she was still alive.

Just at that moment, someone slid up to her, mud flying everywhere as he tripped forward. Kate screamed and tackled him.

"Ahh!"

"AHH!"

It took her a moment to realize that it wasn't Seth Norris, it was Charlie, and he was scared half to death by her attack.

"Where's Jack?" she asked shrilly.

"I don't know!" Charlie gasped.

"I'm going back for him."

"WHAT? In case you didn't notice, Seth seems kind of dangerous. He also appears to be able to fly!" Charlie was shaking violently, covered with mud.

"Well you can stay here, you _coward_. I'm still going to go!" Kate said. She got up and started running back. Charlie lay on the ground, disoriented, before he got up to go back after her.

"Wait up!" He ran after her. They eventually got back to the plane. It had stopped raining. They stopped for a minute to catch their breath, when Jack came out of some nearby bushes. He saw Charlie and Kate standing next to each other and swore. But than something up a tree caught his eye. He pointed upwards timidly. Kate followed his gaze, and Charlie followed Kate's.

Up in the tree was the co-pilot's dead body.

Charlie said, "Guys... How does something like this happen?"

...

A short while later, Jack, Kate, and Charlie were on their way back to the wreckage, now with the black box and some dreadful memories. To make things even worse Jack, out of a fit of jealousy, was giving Charlie the cold shoulder. He had hated seeing him stand next to Kate, and while telling Jack what had happened to them Kate had mentioned tackling Charlie. Maybe it wouldn't have seemed like anything for Jack to be worried about if Charlie hadn't been making very suggestive comments while Kate recounted the story. Jack wanted Kate all for himself.

Back at the beach, people were still thinking about the sudden rain storm which had also reached the beach. All of them had run for shelter during the rain except for one man, the mysterious and enigmatic John Locke. He was the creepy bald guy that had been near the pregnant girl.

Jin, the Korean man, had caught some fish and turned it into sushi with magical powers and the help of his wife. He was now offering it to people because they were all low on food and he had too much. First, he approached Hurley, the fat guy with the cursed fortune.

[Korean is in **bold**] "**Sushi! Would you like to eat it**?" he said, but Hurley only spoke Korean in his sleep.

"What?" he asked.

"**Eat this please**!" Jin insisted, forcing the tray of sushi into Hurley's arms.

"Dude, get that stuff away from me!" Hurley yelled, giving the tray back.

"**What? Don't you like fish**?" Jin was slightly crestfallen.

"NOOO! Go AWAY!" Hurley yelled, stomping his foot, and waving his hands angrily, so Jin scrambled off in fear.

Next Jin took the sushi to the pregnant girl, Claire.

"**Eat? Please eat this it is very good and safe**," Jin told her. He really needed to learn English sometime soon. No one here was going to learn Korean for him.

"You want me to eat this? Sure!" She took a bite and Jin was mollified. "Mmmmmm... OH MY GOSH THE BABY IS KICKING!" She held her stomach and felt the baby living, glad it was alive even after the horrible plane crash.

Jin, of course, didn't understand her and only saw that she was yelling. He freaked out. Claire looked dangerous to him, being so round and cruel looking.

"**I am so sorry! I thought it was good! How can I make it up to you? I will be your servant!**!"

Claire just laughed and ate more fish.

"I think he likes it! Yes, I think it's a he. And he likes sushi! Haha, imagine that, mate!" she chuckled, growing tipsy from the raw fish.

Frightened that she would attack, Jin ran away, back to his wife, Sun, who comforted him. "**It's okay, Jin. I don't think she will attack you**." But Jin pushed her comforting arm away. He now realized that the islanders couldn't understand him, either. He would use that to his advantage. He could say whatever he wanted to them.

"**I am a loner now, wife. You go wash. You are filthy**." Sun stared at him, looking hurt, and Jin cursed his stupidity. Sun spoke Korean. She'd heard his insults.

She walked away to go wash up like he had said.

Meanwhile, Jack, Kate and Charlie were almost back to the beach camp, when Kate remembered something she had wanted to ask Charlie.

"Hey, Charlie?" Kate said. Jack glared warningly at Charlie as if to say, "don't you dare talk to her". Charlie unwisely ignored the warning.

"What?" he said to Kate. Jack raised his fist in aggression.

"What were you doing in the bathroom?" Kate continued.

"Oh... I was... uh..." Charlie gasped then, because Jack punched him in the arm. "Ow! Uh... throwing up. Very– OUCH– manly... urh- right?" Jack didn't stop punching him the whole time he spoke. It was his way of showing his aggression.

"Eew, are you bulimic?" Kate asked, blissfully unaware of Jack's actions.

"No, I am– eek!– not. I don't have any _bad little– _OUCH_– habits_ like that," Charlie giggled, trying to ignore the pain in his arm. But he was lying about that last part. He did have a very bad habit. He now remembered the flight again.

_Charlie, sitting in his plane seat wearing headphones and lots of bling and really cute shoes, was unintentionally attracting the attention of the attendants of the flight. Flight attendants. Yes. _

_Anyway, the reason he was getting unwanted attention was because his hands were shaking really really badly and he had a ring on that was tapping against his seat, thus creating a terribly loud noise._

_"Can we get you anything, sir?" The flight attendant named "Cindy" asked him, as she made her rounds. But she had come up at the worst possible moment. Charlie had been practicing his Voldemort head roles [see the fifth Harry Potter movie and you'll know what I mean] when she passed. Not knowing that it was just for fun, she suspected that he was a drug addict._

_She was right, of course. Normal people don't practice rolling their heads like fictional villains. _

_"Please stay here, sir, I'm going to go get some stronger flight attendants," she told him, trying to stay calm._

_"Why?" _

_"I'll be right back!" She ran off without answering his question in a satisfying matter.._

_As he looked behind him, he saw her talking to large, intimidating men in uniforms and gesturing at him. It was time for him to get the heck out of here. But he was on a plane! How could he? Aw well, better try anyway._

_He got up and ran to the bathroom. But the flight attendants had seen him! Oh no! He ran faster. He zig-zagged past seats. He ran over Shannon's feet by accident, making Boone yell at him. Unfortunately, the flight attendants heard him and followed the noise. Charlie ran faster. Finally he made it safely into the bathroom at the front of the plane. He locked the door, got out his drugs, which were small grains of pure caffeine, did some very strange things with them, and then dropped what was left of them into the toilet. Then, as he was staring at his reflection in the mirror admiring his blue, blue eyes, he heard some flight attendants slam into the door. _

_"OOF!" yelled one of them._

_"Let us in now!" yelled the other one. _

_"Just a minute," he said frantically. But suddenly he heard a horrible tearing noise, like the tail section of the plane getting ripped off. He heard the flight attendants run away. He got out of the bathroom and crawled to a seat in the middle of the plane where he strapped himself in. Turning to the man next to him he said,_

_"F-Y-S-B-I-G-T-B-A-B-N!" _

_"WHAT?" _

_"Fasten Your Seat Belt It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night!" Charlie explained. And then they crashed. _

What a fond memory. Not. Charlie blinked, rubbed his arm, and tried to think of something else. The crash was too scary. He could hardly wrap his mind around it as it was... it was like a nightmare.

After much more hiking, Jack, Kate, and Charlie got back to the beach camp to find a fight going on. They looked around in confusion. What had been happening while they were gone? Had the survivors gone feral?

"SAWYER VS SAYID JARRAH!" someone explained, seeing their confused faces. It was Walt. He was standing with a large group of people that were cheering them on.

Charlie joined the crowd that was encouraging the fight mostly to get away from Jack, who still hadn't stopped hitting him. He was personally rooting for Sayid, who was his friend, and watched with anxious interest while he rubbed his sore arm.

Sawyer was currently on top of Sayid, punching him hard. Jack was freaked out. Fighting was _dangerous, _and completely uncivilized. It was so upsetting that the other survivors would do this that he cried as he tried to pull Sawyer off of Sayid. But Sawyer was too strong.

"HE CRASHED OUR PLANE!" Sawyer yelled as he punched Sayid.

"NO, YOU DID!" yelled Sayid. They were literally almost tearing each other apart, and Jack was getting hit, too, because he was still trying, to no avail, to stop them.

Finally, Hurley took pity and helped Jack get them away from each other.

"Break it up, boys! Break it up," he said. Sawyer was making evil looks at Sayid, who was making obscene hand gestures back at him.

"Now, why'd you attack him, Sawyer?" asked Hurley, trying to be a voice of reason.

"BECAUSE HE KILLED TONS OF PEOPLE!" Sawyer hollered.

"I DID NOT!" Sayid yelled. "YOU DID!"

They tackled each other again.

"Guys, wait!" It was Kate. Sawyer looked up at her and actually stopped fighting.

"What?" he asked, ignoring Sayid's punches.

"It wasn't Sayid that crashed our plane! It was Seth–" but Jack cut her off with a meaningful look.

"It doesn't matter _how_ it crashed," he said loudly and finally. "It just matters that it crashed. Now go take a time out, Sawyer!"

As Hurley dragged Sawyer to the corner, Sawyer yelled, "Why won't you listen to _my_ side of the story! IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Now that the danger was past, people were starting to notice that Jack had gotten the little black box. "What's it do?" asked Boone, crowding in too close for Jack's comfort. He pushed him away a little bit before explaining.

"Right now, nothing. Does anyone know how to fix things like this?" Jack asked. He wasn't very technologically savvy.

"Don't you just flip the little on switch?" asked Charlie naively. Everyone ignored him.

"I can fix it," said Sayid helpfully, breathing hard because of the fight he'd just been in.

"You can?" asked Jack doubtfully. "O–"

"YEAH, FIX IT TO KILL THE REST OF US!" yelled Sawyer, cutting off Jack. It was then that Jack decided he hated Sawyer.

"Shut up, Sawyer!" said Kate. Jack fell in love with her all over again. It seemed they both had a mutual hatred for rednecks.

"Yes, I can fix it. I am very skilled like that,"said Sayid, wiping a shiny bead of sweat off his dark forehead.

"Good, here you go," Jack smiled. "Have it fixed ASAP." He stared a Sayid for a moment, frowning. "ASAP means As Soon As Possible."

"I know what ASAP means, Jack," Sayid said.

"Okay, good," Jack said distractedly, and he and Kate set off for a walk down the seashore.

Later, Sayid could be found on the beach fixing the black box. Hurley went down to join him, in need of someone to talk to.

"Dude, I trust you. You're awesome," he said out of nowhere. Sayid Jarrah gave him a winning smile.

"Thank you very much. You should." Finally he finished fixing it. He smiled at his work proudly. "Wooboy!" he yelled in joy.

Kate came down to see what all the fuss was about. "You fixed it?" she asked. She wasn't sure why Jack hadn't let her tell them that Seth had crashed the plane, but she was determined to stay on good terms with everyone as long as she could, so she hadn't asked him. Right now, though, she was trying to stay away from Jack for awhile, just to give the matter some time.

"Yes, I did indeed fix it!" Sayid answered.

"Then can't you just, like, phone home?" asked Hurley.

Sayid shook his head. "Unfortunately, no can do. We need to reach higher ground first."

"Dude, like how high?"

Sayid pointed up at the highest peak of the mountains.

_END OF PART ONE _


	2. We Must Kill the Pilot part two

**We Must Kill the Pilot part two**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

Sayid Jarrah was getting ready to climb up really high on the mountain. He stretched out, drank water, combed his hair, and packed an overnight bag. He was ready to go. But there was a problem. Now someone else wanted to go too.

"I'm going," said Kate. She had walked up behind Sayid, almost scaring him out of his skin. Sayid Jarrah looked skeptically at her.

"No, absolutely not. I prefer to work alone." He turned away, done with the discussion, getting ready to leave when Kate said, again,

"_I'm going with you_. I don't care if you don't want me to. What if you get hurt on the way and can't make it all the way up there?"

"Then that's my problem, not yours," he retorted.

"Sayid, I want to go!" Her whining was driving Sayid crazy. So he decided to let her go, but he would take duct tape. And a nice, sturdy rope. Just in case.

"Fine, you can go. But if I send you back, you _have_ to go back."

"... Fine." She squinted at him, trying to look intimidating. He rolled his eyes at her weak attempt..

Meanwhile, on a nearby part of the beach, Shannon was moping. She was staring out at the water, not noticing the man drowning out there. She was too busy thinking.

Boone walked up behind her.

"Shannon, get up. Stop being so lazy." He, too overlooked the dying man out in the sea.

"Boone, I've just been through a trauma here, okay? In case you didn't notice, we were just in a plane crash," Shannon replied sensitively. "So please. Leave me alone for a bit."

Boone felt no sympathy, apparently. "I was in a plane crash too, Shan. But since we've been in it, you've put on sunblock. No one else has."

Shannon sighed and looked up at Boone's stubborn face. His thick eyebrows were furrowed in consternation."What the heck, Boone? Please, leave if you're not going to be making any sense." She buried her face in her arms and thought even more about the plane crash. It was so terrible! Lately her life more than sucked.

"I won't leave until you get up and start DOING something. You've just been sitting here all day. You even took a sun bath!" Boone was getting very worked up. Obviously it wasn't just her sitting there that was bothering him, and he was failing badly at covering that up. He kicked some sand at Shannon, yelling, "YOU'RE SO DUMB!"

Shannon stared up at him, tears in her eyes.

"Look, I know it's so easy for you to make fun of me, and you really like to do it, but can you please leave me alone?"

"HECK NO. I do NOT make fun of you, Shannon! You think I WANT to be angry at you! You think _I'm_ the one who needs to change their friggin' attitude!" People were starting to stare at them now and Shannon blushed furiously.

"Boone, please, do _not_-" At this point, Shannon saw Kate and Sayid Jarrah getting ready to go. She formed an idea in her mind. Pointing at them, she said,"I'm going with them." She stood up wiping tears off her face.

"Wait... what?" Boone exclaimed, whipping his head around to get a good look at the group. "No Shannon, you are _not_ going to go on some dangerous mission right now. You could... you could die!"

"Boone, what's _wrong_ with you?" Shannon snapped at him, and she strutted up to Kate and Sayid with Boone frantically following behind her.

"I'm going with you guys," Shannon told them. When she said that, Sayid turned a very bright shade of magenta, which looked very strange on him.

"Okay... fine... you can go," he said, breathing deeply to conceal his rage.

"Then I'm going, too," said Boone quickly, ignoring the looks Shannon was giving him. _Him _going defeated the entire purpose of _her _going, but backing out might make Sayid even more angry.

"FINE! WHY DOESN'T _EVERYONE_ COME WITH US? MAYBE WE'LL ALL HAVE A PICNIC UP THERE, TOO, SEEING AS YOU ALL SEEM TO THINK THAT'S WHAT THIS IS!" Sayid shouted. Shannon raised her eyebrows in disbelief at his strong reaction. Come on, no one thought it was a picnic.

"You're having a picnic?" asked Charlie, skipping up to them with a hyped-up smile. Oh well, never mind.

"No, Charlie, we're not having a picnic," said Kate, before Sayid could yell at him too. "But you're welcome to come with us if you want." She smiled at him.

Charlie looked at Shannon, and asked, "Are _you _going?" Shannon nodded. "Then abso_lute_ly, I'm going."

After a couple of muttered complaints by Sayid, the group of five finally started to walk into the jungle. It was going fine until Sawyer saw them passing and jumped up. He ran after them and caught up easily.

"How about I go with you guys?" he said. They stared at him, then at Sayid, who was still very magenta in the face. Sayid spit on the ground with extreme force.

"_That_ is what I think of you. But... I _suppose_ you can come along. You'll fit in _fine_ with the rest of these_ losers._" They were all deeply offended by his callous remark, especially Boone.

"What makes _me _a loser?" he asked nobody. Shannon gave him a scorching look, but did not answer.

"Why'd you decide to go with us, anyway?" Kate asked Sawyer later, when they were beginning to make a start into the jungle. Sawyer gave her a bitter smile and Kate saw that he had dimples..

Walking in front of them dramatically, he said, "I'm a complex guy, sweetheart."

...

Back at the beach, Jack was doing doctor stuff to the dying man. The guy's situation was getting pretty grave. He had a huge, piece of fuselage lodged into his stomach. Jack guessed that the guy had had it for breakfast the other day, and the turbulence and sent it flying through his stomach. But because the man was a tough cookie, not a soft marshmallow (which Jack's dad always said Jack was) the metal had gotten stuck in his stomach rather than coming out all the way. But that was just an educated guess– one that Jack had come to after several bottles of vodka.

Jack wasn't even sure that it was a piece of fuselage, for all he knew it could be a cinnamon roll. Jack began walking around getting meds from people, and he passed Michael. "Hey, do you have any medicine?" he asked.

"Nope," Michael said sadly.

"Oh well... how's your son, by the way?" Jack said, showing a rare display of consideration.

"He's being a brat, he's completely undisciplined. He keeps calling me an idiot," Michael sighed.

"I don't blame him," laughed Jack, who then quickly walked away before Michael could process what he said. He ran back to Dying Man.

Michael stood there, shocked, until he noticed that Walt was gone. "WAAAAAAAALT!" he yelled, looking around speedily, but Hurley, who was walking by, put duct tape over his mouth.

"You should really learn to shut up," he told him, and he walked away. _WAAAAAAAAALT, _Michael thought to himself. And he ran off to find him.

Meanwhile, Jack was having trouble with Dying Man. He needed to get the thing out of his stomach, but he needed someone to hold the guy down.

Just then, Hurley walked past by him. Jack seized the chance to force someone to help him.

"Hurley, have you ever been a paperweight? Or held a dying guy down?" he asked, rushing his words together in eagerness and grabbing Hurley's arm.

"Well, once me and some friends sat on a guy so he couldn't move," Hurley said slowly, gently plucking away Jack's arm.

"Good! Come help me," Jack said. He dragged Hurley over to where Dying Guy was lying. Hurley paled.

"But... the guy died," he said.

Jack dismissed it with a wave of his hand."Do you think I care? Do I look like I care? No. I don't care."

"Okay... what do I do?" Hurley said, giving in to his fate. Jack demonstrated to Hurley what he needed to do and Hurley put his hand on Dying Man's shoulders as instructed. Jack prepared to rip out the sticky bun. He put on blue medical gloves so as to not get messy.

"_I_ am ready, Hurley. How about you?" he asked. Hurley grunted.

"I'm not that good around blood..." he moaned. Jack glared at him.

"I will count to three, and then I'll rip the thing out. Okay?" he said. Hurley shook.

"Um..." Hurley turned green.

"One... two... three!" Jack ripped it out and Hurley passed out, crushing the guy and giving him severe internal injuries.

"DANG IT!" yelled Jack. He called Michael over to help him get Hurley off, but Michael was nowhere to be seen. "DANG IT!" But then Jack had an idea. He leaned over Hurley and whispered,

"All of the food in the world is gone." But Hurley stayed asleep. Jack had expected him to sit up screaming. "DANG IT." Jack went to take a walk to cool down. _May bee he could go work out for while a _w_hen he got back he's been supper strong, _he thought (Yes, I'm aware that is full of typos). He went to go find workout equipment.

...

Meanwhile, the picnickers had to climb a very steep mountain. Some people, like Shannon and Charlie, who were unfit for much physical exertion, had trouble with this, but people like Kate and Sayid found it to be very easy.

Finally they made it to the top. Charlie was out of breath.

"When... can we stop? Where's the next... rest stop?" he yawned. Sayid gave him a disgusted look.

"There aren't any rest stops on an abandoned island, Charlie," he said huffily.

Charlie and Shannon shared a confused look. "Um... there are," said Shannon. Charlie nodded in befuddled agreement.

"You're a waste of my time." Sayid walked on ahead of the group arrogantly. Everyone else followed, Charlie and Shannon in the back, sharing the beef flavored chips that they had gotten from the vending machine.

"Do you have any water?" Shannon asked Charlie when they had finished with the bag. Charlie threw the bag carelessly over his shoulder.

"No but I have 'Dharma' brand orange soda." Charlie pulled the bottle out of his bag and turned it over in his hands in examination. "Want some?" he asked her. She nodded, and they shared the drink, too.

_Boone_ did not like this. This made Boone angry. And very jealous. He now knew the full meaning of the saying "green with envy". He slowed down to their pace, and bumped into Charlie, trying to make it look like an accident. The orange soda spilled, splattering all over Charlie's beautiful designer shoes.

"_Oops. Sorry,_" sneered Boone, and he sped up to walk by Kate, thinking that maybe Shannon would be jealous, but he knew, in his heart of hearts, that that wouldn't happen.

Charlie took of his shoes, which were now super sticky. "Eew..." He pulled them off of his feet and looked at them in disgust. "I hope they're not ruined..." He shoved them into his bag, grumbling.

Shannon stared at the mess, and then at Boone.

"I'm so sorry, he's such a jerk!" she said, "And I hope he knows that!" She watched Boone from behind, and saw that he ducked his head down in embarrassment. She felt bad then. She knew that he...

"Is he your boyfriend?" Charlie interrupted her thought. She shook her head with a sad smile.

"My... brother, actually. I'm single," she added, realizing only afterwards that she was kind of hitting on him. Dang. Not what she needed now.

"Good." Charlie leaned closer to her, and Shannon excused herself to walk with Sayid, leaving Charlie leaning against nothing. He fell over, making his stomach feel sick, and he threw up the chips he'd eaten, as well as the orange soda. Kate gave him a pitying look.

"You know, you should get professional help," she said, helping him up from his position on the ground. Done vomiting, Charlie looked up.

"Why?" he asked.

Kate glanced at the others around them and said, "For your... little problem." She brushed some hair out of her face and gazed soulfully into his blue eyes.

"What problem?" He was worried... did she know? But how could she? Had she seen him at action?

She leaned forward and whispered "Your eating disorder", but Charlie thought she said _could_ have said "Your addiction", because at that moment Shannon and Boone had started to bicker at full volume again. Thoroughly freaked out, Charlie convulsed as more vomit came up his throat and he choked it out. Kate sighed.

...

Jack couldn't find any workout equipment on the beach. That made him very angry, and he yelled "DANG IT" a couple more times, scaring the wits out of Scott. Scott ran off quickly, to try and get away from Jack, who looked pretty scary.

Scott Jackson was from California, and had been going back home to L.A on the plane. Now, because of the crash, he wasn't sure he'd ever get home to his family. He was happily married and had three kids, two boys and a girl, all straight A students. He missed them.

He hoped that the rescue people would get here soon, if at all. He couldn't imagine staying here with these uncivilized people. The fight this morning was a good example of what it would be like. He grabbed a tarp and started making a shelter for himself. He wanted somewhere decent to stay, at least.

A man walked up to him. He looked average, like Scott, but instead of having blue eyes and blonde hair he had brown eyes and brown hair.

"Hello," he said politely.

"Hey," said Scott, looking up from his tarp and deciding to quit his brooding.

"I was wondering if you had any extra tarp?" The man asked. Scott smiled.

"Oh yeah, sure, here you go." Scott handed it over to the guy, who started folding it up happily, a brilliant smile on his face.

"Thanks. I'm glad to see that at least someone here is normal," he said. Scott nodded.

"Heh, yeah, me too. What are the chances, really, of riding on a plane with this many freaks on it?"

"Yeah, and crashing, too!" the man said. Scott chuckled.

"Yeah... to say the least it pretty much ruined my week," he said.

"Haha! Yep, mine too." They laughed.

"Oh, by the way, my name's Scott," Scott said, extending his hand for the guy to shake. The man took it.

"Nice to meet you, Scott, I'm Steve."

"Nice to meet you too," Scott said, nodding happily.

"Yeah, I guess I'll see you around," said Steve.

"You too!" said Scott. Steve walked back to his little part of the beach. Scott was pleased that he'd made a friend. And that there was a normal person here, other than him.

Meanwhile, Michael was running through the jungle, trying to find Walt.

"WAAAAAAAAAAALT!" he yelled. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT! WAAAAAAAAALT!" Finally, he found Walt.

"Walt, man, you can't go runnin' off like that. You worried me!" he said. Walt rolled his eyes.

"I don't care, you idiot. I was looking for Vincent," he said, and he crossed his arms in defensive. He didn't have time for Michael right now.

"Did you find him? If you wanna find someone you've gotta yell their name really loudly. Like this-"

"I did find hi-"

"VIIIIIIIIIINCEEEEEEENT!" Michael yelled, scaring Vincent. out of Walt's grip. Vincent ran off into the jungle, away from them.

Walt felt like he could strangle his father.

"Well, now you'll have to get him back, Dad," he said, not even bothering to stay even-tempered. " I'm not going looking for him again."

"I'll find him tomorrow. Did ya find anything else?" Michael dismissed his impudence.

"Yeah... I did... Handcuffs," said Walt, holding up the handcuffs.

"What're those, man? Handcuffs, what are they? Ohh yeah, handcuffs!" Michael realized what they were, finally. Walt did a face palm and fell over backwards.

...

Charlie had finally stopped throwing up. He stopped at the next rest stop to change his clothes, and than hurried to catch up with the group. Kate was worried about Charlie. She didn't know if he had an eating disorder or not, but she knew there was something going on with him.

The picnickers were now walking through a completely flat part of the jungle. It was eerily quiet. Then suddenly...

There was a rushing noise. Something was running towards them. Kate immediately thought of the evil incarnate Seth Norris. She leapt behind a tree, pulling her new friend Charlie along with her.

The noise grew louder, and something was growling now too! Everybody but Sawyer, Master of Nicknames, ran behind the trees. The noise was getting closer and closer and suddenly something jumped out of the bushes.

Sawyer shot it four times with a gun he'd pulled from his pocket. Everyone ran out to see what it was. It was a polar bear?

"Was that a... polar bear?" asked Kate, coming out from behind the tree nervously. Charlie skipped after her.

"That can't possibly be a polar bear," said Boone approaching it slowly.

"It's a polar bear!" said everyone else in exasperation.

"Polar bears don't usually live in the jungle," said Shannon as Charlie poked the bear.

"Spot on!" said Charlie, poking Shannon now. She swatted him away with a frown.

"Look! There's something tied to it's leg!" said Kate. How had no one else noticed that? Sayid reached over to see what it was. It was a radio. Attached to the radio was a little sticky note:

You forgot the radio. OH, and I want that black box back. It's mine.

- Seth Norris

It was written in blood. Sayid took the radio and sighed. "He's right. _How_ could I be so dumb?"

"So you're saying that if it weren't for Seth the Monster, we'd have climbed the whole way up here for nothing?" asked Charlie indignatly. Sayid nodded sadly.

"Who is this Seth guy anyway?" asked Boone reading the note over Sayid's shoulder. Kate noticed with a smile that as he read he whispered the words to himself. She thought it was cute.

"He's this evil monster that kills people," explained Kate. Boone stared, having obviously not expected that answer.

"And he can fly, too!" said Charlie helpfully.

"Sounds... um... scary," said Shannon.

"Well, how about we discuss this as we walk. Now that we have the radio we can keep going," said Sawyer. They started walking away, when suddenly Sayid stopped and said to Sawyer,

"Where did that come from?"

"What, the bear? Bear village of course! Not really. How am I supposed to know!"

"Stop talking!" said Boone. "Shannon's never heard such distressed language before!"

Shannon put her hands on her hips defensively. "Yes I have!"

"When?" Boone sounded worried.

"SILENCE!" yelled Sayid. "I was talking about the gun, Sawyer. Where'd you get the _gun_?"

"Yeah, where _did_ he get that from?" wondered Boone, more to himself than to the rest of the group. Everyone ignored him, seeming to have already written him off as an idiot. _Great_.

"Gun village, of course!" said Sawyer comically. Sayid ran towards him, frustrated and magenta once more. He got right in Sawyer's face, seething, and poked him roughly in his fit chest..

"TELL THE TRUTH!"

"Fine, fine! There was a U.S. Marshal on the beach, he was dying, and I took his gun to protect us," Sawyer said, pushing Sayid away from his face gently. Sayid continued to stare at Sawyer with menace.

"How did you know that he was a U.S. Marshal?" asked Kate sharply.

"Because he had a badge. I took that too, thought it looked cool!" Sawyer seemed to be pretty uncomfortable.

"Badges are so ugly," said Boone. No even bothered to look at him. He rolled his eyes. Let them act superior... he knew they were.

"Hey, how about we keep going?" said Sawyer awkwardly, shrinking under the gaze of everyone around him..

"Not until you give me that gun!" said Sayid vehemently.

"No way are you getting this gun, you terrorist! You'll kill us all!" Sawyer said, firing up at once. Kate and Charlie raised their eyebrows at each other in surprise.

"I'm not a terrorist, you hillbilly! Now give me the gun!" Sayid was shaking with rage.

"I'll take it," Kate cut in. Sayid wrenched the gun out if Sawyer's hand and handed it to Kate with a scowl. "Now, how do you take it apart?" she asked. But it was all an act. She knew how to use a gun.

"Don't you just pull the trigger?" asked Charlie. Sayid rolled his eyes and muttered "Waste of my time..." under his breath. He showed Kate how to unload the gun so no one could use it. Then Kate paused, wondering who should get the gun now.

"Don't give it to Sawyer, he prolly can't use one!" said Boone, feeling left out. He hadn't really been following the conversation and felt like he needed to make himself known.

"I just shot a bear!" said Sawyer. Everyone stared at Kate to see what she would do. She made a quick decision. She didn't want to have the gun, even when it was unloaded. She didn't even trust herself.

"Sawyer will have the gun itself, because he probably thinks it looks cool," *cough cough*, "and Sayid can have the ammo because I trust him." She gave them their parts and they did not complain very much more.

As they continued on their way Sawyer stalked up to Kate.

"You trust mister terrorist but not me?" he asked. Kate looked him right in the eye and said,

"Yeah. I do." And she hurried up to walk with Sayid.

...

Back at the beach, Locke was trying his hardest to be creepy. He sat on the beach playing back gammon by himself. Hurley stayed far away from him. And so did Scott. And Steve.

But Walt walked up to Locke. He was attracted to the mysterious man like some sort of magnetic force was pulling him to the dark side. Locke did look kind of evil, but as far as Walt was concerned, being evil was far better than being stupid. And that would always be true.

"What's your name, mister?" he asked, sitting down next to him. Locke smiled. It looked insincere.

"You can call me Mr. Locke."

"What are you playing, Mr. Locke?" Walt asked, unable to recognize the game.

"Backgammon. You wanna play?" Locke grinned. Walt beamed back at him, eyes bright.

"Sure. How do you play?"

"It's kind of like checkers... well not really... See, I don't know how to play, but it sure is fun to make little scenes with the pieces," Locke explained, and Walt was excited.

"That sounds awesome!"

"It is. Now, there are two sides to this game. One is light... and one is dark." Locke tried to be creepy when he said that. But Walt was not freaked out at all.

"Cool," he said, "Can I be dark?"

...

Back with the picnickers, they were almost to the top of the mountain, when Kate had a sudden, unexpected, blast from the past:

_Kate was sitting on the plane. She was wearing handcuffs! She was a fugitive who was going to be arrested. Some freaky Aussie had called attention to her, and after four years on the run, she was going to jail. It kind of sucked. _

_The guy next to her was a U.S. Marshal, known as Dying Guy. His real name was Edward Mars, but Dying Guy sounded way cooler, so that's what he went by. _

_He was being really cruel to Kate. He made her order lasagna, than didn't let her eat it with a fork. She hardly ate any of it._

_"Dying Guy, can I ask you one favor, please?" she asked, knowing she was pushing the metaphorical envelope. "Pretty, pretty please?"_

_"_You,_ ask_ me, _a favor? Have you lost your mind or have I lost mine?" He chuckled evilly, just as maniacal laughter came from the cockpit. There was a scream too, and people looked worried. "Well ask it real quick, sweetheart. Before we crash. Heheh, just kidding, as if we would really crash-" He was interrupted by the tail section of the plane getting ripped off. _

_"BERNARD!" someone yelled. Kate heard flight attendants yelling "Let us in!" near the front of the plane. She figured they were trying to escape into the cockpit._

_Suddenly, the box of guns that the Dying Guys always carried with him fell on top of Dying Guy's head, knocking him out. Kate screamed, then they crashed. _

What a fond memory. Not. Kate stood up, brushing dirt off her jeans and looking around. Oh, dang it. The group was like fifty feet away from her by now, and no one seemed to have noticed her pass out or whatever it was that happened when she had a flashback. They were so annoying, but Kate considered them to just be part of life.

As she ran to catch up with them, she considered her possible mates on this island. She needed a boyfriend, someone to make plans with and hide out with at night, to make the endless nights at motels not so lonely. It would make being a fugitive much more bearable... and besides, she didn't want to die alone.

There was Jack, of course, smart, arrogant Jack that had muscles and hazel eyes and an amazingly lucrative job back home. Jack and Kate had already bonded a little, _if you know what I mean. _He was a definite possibility.

Then there was Sawyer, who was tan and rugged and absolutely gorgeous in every way. Kate thought he seemed a bit too deep for her though. He also seemed to be kind of troubled, but he _was_ nice, so that was a good.

Kate didn't know if Charlie had any chance with her. He was cute, yes, and those blue eyes were trusting and sweet, but Kate was bothered by the accent and wanted someone slightly more confident. Maybe he would just be her friend.

Only two more guys had even caught Kate's eye. There was Sayid, who seemed competent and cool, but a little too ill-tempered for Kate's liking. And then there was Boone, who was young and hot but seemed a infatuated with the blonde girl right now, Samantha or whatever the heck her name was.

Finally Kate caught up just as they made it to the top of the mountain. They could finally try to contact the outside world.

"I will need everyone to be quiet now, so I can concentrate on using this," announced Sayid bossily, gazing sternly at everyone in turn. They nodded, a chilly wind blowing their hair into their faces and making them all even more uncomfortable.

"You know, you should get a British guy to say stuff like 'keep steady' and 'focus'. You know, like on that Harry Potter toy. It always helps me out," said Boone nervously, glancing wearily at Shannon, who ignored him stonily, hugging her arms to keep away the cold.

"Boone, that is the first sensible thing you've said all day! Charlie, start saying those things, now!" said Sayid, concentrating very hard while fiddling with the machine. It was making whirling noises and smelled like cigarettes.

"Um... concentrate. Focus. Keep steady? Er..." Charlie ran out of ideas for things to say and stood there uselessly, shifting his weight back and forth on his shoeless feet.

"It's okay, I've done it!" Sayid said excitedly, "We should be getting signal any second now." They waited 30 seconds anxiously. No signal came.

"WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET SIGNAL BECAUSE HE BROKE IT! HE'S EVIL, DON'T YOU SEE?" yelled Sawyer suddenly, the mood getting to him.

"Shut up!" yelled Kate, tears coming to her eyes.

"SILENCE! I got signal!" said Sayid suddenly, and they were all silent.

"Quick, send a message!" yelled Charlie, hopping up and down, looking scared.

"Wait... the signal's been blocked..." moaned said Sayid. Everyone groaned. But suddenly they heard the other message start. They listened closely, leaning in, blinking away the smoke that was billowing from the little machine.

It was in French.

"Sommes-nous les dernieres ames vivantes?," it said. "Sommes-nous les dernieres ames vivantes? Je suis tout seul satisfais..." It kept repeating those three sentences over and over again.

"What's it saying?" yelled Charlie. Everyone shook their heads, looking lost.

"Shannon knows!" said Boone, sounding far too happy for the situation. "She can speak French!"

"WHAT'S IT SAYING?" screamed Sayid and Sawyer at the same time.

"It's... it's a song" said Shannon. "'Are we the last... living souls... Are we the last.. living souls... I am all alone please help me, it killed them all.'" They were silent for a moment. Then Kate screamed.

"How long's it been playing?" asked Boone.

"Sixteen years," said Sayid, dialing some strange formula into the radio. "Sixteen years and four months, eight days, and fifteen hours, twenty-three minutes, and forty-two seconds." They took in this disturbing information, chilled to the bone... Who killed all those people? Could it be Seth Norris? Kate screamed again, Boone reached out and clutched Shannon's hand, and Charlie said, shakily,

"Guys... Where are we?"


	3. Lefty the Australian Farmer

**Lefty the Australian Farmer**  
**A Kate episode**  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC. I just do this for fun.

RATED PG for some mild language and fantasy violence

Jack was still trying to save Dying Guy. It was now common knowledge that this man was a U.S. Marshal, but "Dying Guy" is so much more fun to say than "The Marshal". Jack had finally gotten Hurley off of the man, and was now stitching up the internal injuries to the best of his abilities. He was using Teddy Bear Brown.

Suddenly, Dying Guy woke up! Naturally, he started strangling Jack. That was just the Marshal's natural instinct... he did that whenever he woke up, no matter the time of day or where he was sleeping. That's why he was single. Kind of hard to explain that you can't help but strangle your partner.

"Mumph!" mumphed Jack, trying to get the man's clammy hands away from his neck. He failed several times, his sweaty hands slipping away as he gasped for air that wouldn't come, then he succeeded by kicking the man in his gut. "Why'd you do that?" Jack breathed intelligently when he was lying on the ground in front of him.

"Oh, sorry!" gasped Dying Guy. "I just... do that... wait a minute..." He looked worried for a second, but that evaporated into anger within four seconds.

"WHERE IS SHE?" he yelled. He strangled Jack again. _He's just a strangling machine,_ Jack noted in irritation.

"_Who_?" gasped Jack, flailing around, trying to save himself but failing once again. The man let go of Jack quickly though, looking as if he had used his last ounce of energy on that second strangle. Jack inhaled deeply, then exhaled, trying to regain his normal breathing pattern.

"Who?" he repeated. The Marshal looked at him with glassy eyes and said,

"Look... in my jacket... pocket..." Then he was unconscious. Jack swore at him loudly in an attempt to rouse him, but he was still asleep.

"Why? What's in your pocket?" Jack shook him. But Dying Guy was too far gone, so Jack looked in the jacket pocket, preparing for the worst. There was a photo in the pocket, which seemed rather anti-climatic.

Jack took it out with extra care not to rip anything or touch the creepy guy when he got it out, because germs spread easily, and when he got the photo out he wiped it clean with a cloth to see what it was.

It was a picture of _Kate_. A mugshot, by the looks of it. Jack stared at the photo, into her wild dark eyes, worried about what this meant. And he asked her, even though she couldn't hear him at all, "What, Kate? What did you do?"

...

Kate, stared at where she thought Jack was. He was so good, even if he was rather strange, and Kate felt undeserving. _I'm sorry, Jack_, she thought. Sorry that he would never understand her. Not sorry for what she did.

"What's that?" asked Shannon. Kate blushed. Had she said that out loud?

"Oh, nothing."

"Um, okay?" Shannon sighed. The Picnickers were sitting around a campfire as the sun was setting. Everyone was in a pretty terrible mood because of the creepy transmission. Charlie excused himself to go "throw up" wink wink nudge nudge and skipped away while everyone else just stared glumly into the flames.

"Ohh, Charlie," Kate said under her breath. His stupid eating disorder or whatever it was. She really couldn't tell.

"What?" asked Shannon again.

"Nothing!" Kate snapped back, irritated out of her mind. Suddenly Sayid jumped up looking desperate.

"Why are all of you so upset?" he asked, purple circles shadowing his brown eyes.

"Because this is no fun!" whined Boone. "I wanna go home!" He started crying.

"Waste of my time!" yelled Sayid in Boone's direction.

"Everything's a waste of your time!" snapped Sawyer. Kate couldn't help but notice how white his teeth were. Jeez, he looked like he was in a commercial for toothpaste or something. Kate ran her tongue over her own teeth wistfully. They never had been that nice.

"No, just EVERY_**ONE**_!" yelled Sayid, blasting Kate back to Earth. She sighed. Why didn't they just shut up so she could day dream about teeth? In particular, snow white teeth against rosy pink lips and very tan skin. Oh, and stubble.

"Oh, is that why you were gonna kill us all?" asked Sawyer. Kate realized she had been staring and blushed again, but no one had noticed.

"I was never going to kill any of you, but I'm starting to want to!" Sayid replied viciously.

"STOP!" yelled Kate, ticked off. She hated when people that she liked fought with each other. Plus she just wasn't in the mood for their bickering. "Just shut up, both of you!"

"Yeah!" said Boone. "You're giving me nausea." Kate almost giggled at him before she remembered she was supposed to be angry.

"Waste... of... my..."

"Time, yeah!" Charlie cut Sayid off, returning and looking like he'd just drunk a triple shot espresso.

"Hi, Charlie," said Shannon nervously, obviously freaked out by the exchange between Sayid and Sawyer. Charlie sat next to her with a hyped-up grin. Sayid stood up again so that Charlie was also next to Kate.

"Let's play musical chairs!" said Boone, getting up and walking straight towards the spot next to Shannon, but Sayid beat him to it and Boone plopped down onto the ground looking very upset.

They all sat in silence for a couple minutes after that, listening to the breeze in the tree around them a leaning towards the crackling of the fire to stay warm. Sayid got out a paper airplane and started making it zoom around in front of him. Then he pretended to make it crash.

"Zoom, zoom," sighed Boone. Sayid chuckled, turning slighty magenta with anger, and he stomped on the plane with his cleated boots.

"Why do you think they haven't found us yet?" asked Shannon suddenly.

"Well, they're going to, aren't they?" asked Charlie, seeking conformation. His arm was around Shannon's shoulder. Boone glared at her and she shrugged it off.

"We were one thousand miles off course when we crashed," said Sayid knowingly.

"Where'd you hear that?" asked Kate, curious. She shivered then, a rain drop falling down onto her arm. She wish she had an umbrella.

"He _knows _that because he crashed our plane, Freckle," growled Sawyer to Kate.

"'Freckle'?" she repeated in disbelief. "Why? Just– why?" She was very used to people giving her nicknames, but normally they were just simple things like "honey" and "babe". Never before had anyone called her "Freckle".

"You have a freckle on your nose," Sawyer explained. Kate blushed again. She was very flattered that Sawyer would look that closely at her face. She smiled at him in thanks but just then Sayid cleared his throat.

"In short, Charlie, no, they are not going to find us," he said. Everyone stared at him, surprised that anyone would say that terrible truth out loud.

"But... they have outer space satellites that can take pictures of your license plate. How could they miss a plane?" Charlie asked. He looking very disconcerted.

"Once again, you are displaying your lack of knowledge, Charlie," Sayid sighed and Charlie drew in an offended breath. "They would need to know where the plane was to take a picture, and seeing as we were _one thousand miles off course, _they did not."

Charlie nodded so quickly then that his head looked in danger of falling off. Suddenly Sawyer swore, causing everyone to jump slightly, and Boone covered his ears as if afraid that there would be more swearing soon.

"Let's stop talking about depressing stuff!" Sawyer pleaded "Let's talk about happy stuff, like... like polar bears and rest stops and being _alive_!" But no one did. And as he spoke the rain started to really fall down, and, as they shivered and pulled there clothes tighter around them, their small fire was put out.

...

Jack was using a great deal of hope to deal with this hopeless situation. He was depressed because Dying Guy might die. Dying Guy coughed blood, somehow reminding Jack of Kate's mugshot. Jack had decided to tape it to the tent because he thought that Kate looked very cute in it. Jack sighed romantically... He didn't care if Kate had committed crimes in her past. Whatever they were, he was sure they weren't that big of a deal.

"Oh, Kate, we are soul mates," he said to himself. He started making up a poem about her, but was interrupted when Hurley came into the tent.

"Dude, is he dead yet?" he asked, pointing at Dying Guy.

"No, not yet..." Jack said. Then Jack, as if he were in a dream, watched as Hurley's eyes moved in the direction of Kate's mugshot, unable to stop him. Hurley gasped.

"Dude... what did she do!"

...

Back with the picnickers, Kate had a sudden memory.

_Kate's eyes opened. She was lying on the floor of a barn being poked with a gun repeatedly. "Eh heh heh heh..." Someone was laughing. Kate sat up quickly. _

_In front of her was an old man wearing overalls and no shirt underneath. "Gaa!" she said._

_"What's yer name?" asked Old Man the Shirtless._

_"Annie." said Kate. That was a lie, but he need not know._

_"Annie, huh? I thought you'd be another Kate. Well I'm Lefty, the Australian Farmer. Nice to meet you." They shook hands._

_"Wanna work for me?" he asked. Kate stared at him for moment than said,_

_"Yeah, sure. I need a job."_

_"Good. You will be my hired help." They smiled at each other. Lefty led Kate to his kitchen. Inside there were four other young women, all sitting around the table eating eggs and bacon. Kate stared at them._

_"Oh!" said Lefty,"Let me introduce you girls. Annie, this is Katherine, Cate with a C, Kat, and Katie. Everyone, this is Annie." They all said an awkward "hello" to each other. "Annie here is going to work for me, too. She is the designated milker." _

_"But that's _my_ job!" said Katie. Lefty glared at her. _

_"You will be the chicken feeder."_

_"Fine..." Katie was quiet. Lefty pulled a chair up to the table and gave Kate some food._

_"So, where are you from, Annie?" asked Kat._

_"Canada," Kate lied._

_"Canada, really? How is it up there?" asked Lefty._

_"...Cold." Kate really had no idea._

_"Eh heh heh heh! Anywhere's cold compared to down here! Even Egypt, I do believe." said Lefty. "Yup, you are very welcome here, Annie." Kate felt like she finally fit in._

_..._

What a fond memory, Kate thought. No, really, it was. It was a memory of acceptance and belonging. Kate looked around, to see if anyone had seen her collapse into the memory. No one had. They were all asleep. Kate joined them in a soft slumber.

Boone really was not asleep, though. He had a plan. His plan was to get the gun, and take guard around everyone to prove that he could be responsible. He was obsessed with being accepted.

First, he carefully slipped the gun out of Sawyer's hand. Sawyer didn't wake up. Boone sneaked to Sayid next, and tried to be extra careful as he got out the clip with the ammo. He pulled it out slowly. But suddenly, Sayid woke up! Screaming in a foreign language, Sayid kicked Boone away. Everyone woke up, worried that Seth had attacked.

"HE WAS STEALING THE AMMO FROM ME!" bellowed Sayid, pointing at Boone.

"He took, the gun, too!" yelled Sawyer, looking around in a fit of hysterics. They were about to tackle Boone when Kate yelled,

"STOP IT!" Everyone looked at her. "Let's try to hear _Boone's_ side of the story."

"I was trying to set up guard, to protect us all from ghosts and zombies and stuff!" he said frantically.

"WELL, CAN YOU EVEN USE A GUN!" shouted Sayid, full to the brim with angry feelings.

"No, he can't!" said Shannon, who was crying and scowling and Boone. "He _doesn't_ know how to use a gun and probably wouldn't be able to even if he was showed how to a hundred times." Kate's eyes widened, shocked by the insult, as Boone turned away looking mortified.

"How about we give this gun to a responsible person," said Sawyer, oblivious to their little drama. Kate nodded, happy for a distraction.

"Good plan," she said. Sawyer looked pleased, and that pleased Kate too.

"EVERYONE THAT IS RESPONSIBLE, LINE UP BEHIND ME!" yelled Sayid. Everyone but Charlie lined up. Kate gave Charlie a funny look. Confidence was the key to survival and Kate thought Charlie should know that by now. He just shrugged.

Sawyer pushed Boone out of the line. Because he did that, everyone else pushed Sawyer out of the line. That left Shannon, Sayid and Kate. Shannon didn't want the gun, so she left the line.

"So, which one of you is more responsible?" asked Charlie.

"Kate is!" said Sawyer, and Kate's felt butterflies in her stomach. "Don't give it to the terrorist!"

"Yeah, just give it to Kate cause I'm bored," said Boone, wiping shiny wet tears away from his face as he sulked on the ground where Sawyer had pushed him.

Charlie gave it to Kate. Sayid swore in another language. He was such a foreigner.

"Is anyone even tired anymore?" asked Kate.

"No," said everyone but Boone, who yawned very pointedly.

"Let's set out back to the beach, then," Kate said. And so they did.

...  
Later...

It was finally morning time. Jack had written five poems about Kate while the Marshal slept soundly. Jack hadn't slept. He was naturally an insomniac. He checked his watch. It said it was 8:15 in the morning. Interesting. Jack didn't believe it.

Just then, Hurley ran into the medical tent, huffing and puffing, out of breath.

"JACK!" he said, "THOSE GUYS ARE BACK!"

"... What guys?" Jack asked, frankly quite uninterested.

"You know... Charlie, Boone, Sayid? They were getting that transmission thing or something!" Hurley jumped up and down, excited, Jack assumed.

"Oh yeah... Heh, with that little black box that does nothing! They're so gullible." Jack laughed at their inferiority. Hurley looked kind of let down.

"You mean... they didn't get anything? They didn't phone home?"

"Doubt they did," Jack chuckled. "Let's go hear what they have to say for themselves." They walked out of the medical tent. Sayid was standing on a make shift stage, delivering a speech. Jack tuned in immediately, and noticed that Kate was there too. He smiled at her but she didn't see him.

"... Once we found the radio, we tried calling home, but we couldn't get signal. I'm so sorry," Sayid said. Kate looked confused. In fact, so did all of the picnickers.

"But... but... I thought there was a weird lil' message in French?" asked Boone. No one listened to him, of course. I mean come on, it was Boone.

"... For now, we should all prepare for a long stay here!" announced Sayid, "Some people will have to set up things to collect water in when it rains! Other people should take a food inventory! Go! Help out in whatever way you can!" People clapped. Sayid smiled winningly and took a bow. People scattered to help out.

After the speech, Kate asked Jack to go on a walk with her. Jack assumed she would tell him what crime she committed, and when, why, and how. He smiled patiently.

"Jack..." Kate took a deep breath. "Sayid lied for some reason. The radio worked, but we picked up someone else's message."

Jack sucked his breath in quickly, so that it made a zooming noise, wildly confused. Why didn't she tell him about how she was a criminal? Honesty was very important in relationships. Besides, Jack wouldn't care. She was making it a more prominent issue by not mentioning it.

Jack realized that she was waiting for him to say something now. "Well, too bad," he said, "I don't think we'll be able to fix that until much later, like in two seasons." He had no idea what he meant. He couldn't stop thinking of Kate's criminal past.

"... As in the spring?" Kate obviously didn't know what Jack meant by "seasons" either, and he was angry at her now too so he acted superior to her. Her did a bored, exasperated eye-roll in her direction.

"NO, as in Christmas time!" he babbled. Kate looked very confused. Good. Served he right for keeping secrets.

"Okay, forget about this... Has Dying Guy woken up?" she asked, unsubtly, in Jack's opinion. She must be punished for this bad acting as well.

"Do you know him or something?" he asked, a mean look in his eyes. "Just kidding. I know full well that you do." Kate stared open mouthed at Jack, who did a gorgeous toothy smile at her.

"Well... kind of... did he say anything!" she asked, freaking out.

Jack thought for a moment about telling the truth, but decided to lie. It came more naturally to him. "No, he did not say even a one syllable word. Is he mute?" Jack was so talented at acting and lying that Kate would be tricked and punished. Ha ha, ha ha.

"Um... no, he's not mute," Kate replied, looking terribly upset now. "Look, I've gotta go now. See you later?"

"Yeah." Jack stared at her for a moment and she held his gaze with strong brown eyes. "Yeah, see you later." They parted ways.

...

Dying Guy's situation was getting worse and worse with every second he didn't get treated. Jack really needed stronger antibiotics, or pain killers or _something_. He started going around asking people for stuff like that. First, Michael, again.

"Hey, Mikey, have any meds?"

"Meds... hmm, nope!" said Michael with a frown. Jack wasn't sure Michael knew what "meds" were, because he said no when he was holding a bottle of aspirin. Jack moved onto Locke.

"Hey, Bald, have any meds?"

"No I don't, Jack," Locke answered, glancing behind himself with a bewildered smile. By now everyone had formed a line. Jack moved on to the next person, assuming that it was because of him, not Locke, that they had all done so.

"Hey, Scott, have any meds?"

"No," Scott mumbled. Jack moved to the next person, who happened to be...

"Hey Charlie, have any drugs?"

"I... um... why would you ask that?" Charlie laughed nervously. What_ is his problem? _thought Jack. _He's so annoying._

"Because a Dying Guy is dying," Jack explained, "and I need painkillers for him." Charlie looked thunderstruck.

"Oh, well, no, um, I guess, well, you see, I, er, uh, well, gee, I mean, really, why, I, er, so, I-am-a-selfish-druggie-and-will-protect-my-stash-even-if-an-innocent-man-will-die-from-my-actions," he blurted out. Jack gave him a dubious look as Charlie shrank away, obviously realizing that Jack had heard him. It was then that Jack noticed that the line had dispersed. Maybe it hadn't been a line after all...

"Yeah, whatever," he told Charlie, leaving the young man looking freaked out. Jack decided to look in the fuselage for the medicine. Maybe he'd see some dead people in there! That would be an added bonus. Haha, as if. Jack hated that.

Jack got out a flashlight and sneaked into the fuselage. He reminded himself that he was only here for medicine to save someone, and pulled himself away from the large pile of chocolate with only one handful.

Suddenly he heard a banging noise and a Southern swearword. He braced himself for a zombie attack or worse than that, skeletons. But...

"Hey, doc." It was Sawyer. Jack immediately felt that Sawyer was competition for Kate's affection. I mean, look at him. You didn't have to be a girl to realize how attractive he was.

"What're you doing in here, Sawyer?" Jack asked snobbishly

"Same as you, stealing from the dead," Sawyer joked. "What have you got there, Apollo Bars?" Jack hastily hid the candy in his pocket so it looked like he only had the medicine.

"No, just medicine. I... um... hate Apollo Bars." For Jack, lying was just easier than telling the truth. It just _was_. "What have _you_ got, Sawyer?"

"Beer. Cigarettes. Inappropriate magazines," Sawyer laughed, amusing only himself. "That about sums it up, Doctor Giggles." Jack shook his head.

"Sawyer, do you always read bad stuff like that?" Sawyer shook his head back and got ready to leave. But before he left, he said,

"Your problem is, Doc, you're just too competitive. Take a break. Relax. There's nothin' better we can do." He nodded at Jack and left without a glance. Jack stood in the fuselage, surrounded by dead bodies, shocked.

...

...

Sun and Jin were sitting in their tent. Jin was humming peacefully when he saw something on Sun's face.

"**Sun-Hwa! Sun-Hwa! You have a dirt on your nose**!" He shouted at her. She looked at him sadly.

"**I do**?"

"**YES! Now, go wash up! Your dirtiness is a disgrace to the name of Kwon**!"

"**I'm so sorry I'm a disgrace to you, Jin**," she said coldly, with much disdain. She tossed her hair haughtily out of her face and started walking off, but Jin stopped her by grabbing onto the arm of her sweater.

"**Sun**?"

"**Yes, Jin**?"

"**I love you**."

...

Kate was going to go check on the Marshal. They had a genuinely complicated relationship: Kate knew that she was the Marshal's only friend, but he had arrested her anyway. She couldn't fathom why justice was more important to him than love.

She started walking in to the tent but was stopped by someone calling out to her from behind.

"Hey, Kate!" She looked over. It was Hurley.

"Hey, Hurley." She smiled at him to boost his self esteem. He smiled back in a terrified way.

"Um, Kate you shouldn't come in here!" he said in a– there was no other way to put it– bumpy voice. Kate was quite confused.

"Why not?"

"Uh, never mind, it, like, doesn't matter uh, bye!" Hurley had seen her gun. Kate started to explain why she had it but Hurley scurried off before she could. As she stared at his back she suddenly felt very dizzy and fell over into a Flashback.

_FLASHBACK_

_Kate was in Lefty's pantry, getting money from his canister of dimes. She took a handful, put it into her pocket, and than looked up startled._

_Lefty was watching her._

_"Look, I know I hardly pay you, but ya don't have to steal from me!" He laughed and shook his head. _

_"Okay, sorry." Kate giggled. The trick to not have Lefty get angry at you for stuff like this was to wink at him and laugh like you were just a silly little girl. It worked every time. Lefty shook his head and laughed some more, not noticing the fact that she didn't put the money back._

_"I'm glad you didn't leave like everyone else, Annie. You and Kat, you've really been nice." Katherine, Cate, and Katie had all took off last month, leaving Kate and Kat tons of work. They got payed more now, though, so it was all good._

_"Well, actually, Lefty... I have to get going soon. Like... tomorrow." It was true. Kate needed to leave before The Marshal found her. Kate found that if she stayed in one place long enough, she almost always got caught._

_"You have to go!" Oh no. Lefty was mad. Never make Lefty mad, that was pretty much the only rule to living here in peace. And Kate had just broken it. He charged at Kate, pinning her against the wall and Kate screamed. Lefty then pushed her all the way through the wall. Kate blacked out._

_When she woke up, she was lying in a field. It was on fire. She looked up at the sky, blinking smoke out of her eyes. There were jets flying above her, some dropping bombs. Other ones were sky-writing the message "WE'VE GOT YOU NOW, KATE". Kate started screaming. This made no sense._

_"Hey, sweetie." Kate looked up. It was Lefty, standing in front of her with a twisted smile._

_"Lefty! How could you do this to me?" she shrieked at him. Lefty laughed evilly. _

_"I'm not Lefty! There _is _no Lefty!" He pulled off a mask._

_It was Anthony Cooper. Kate had seen his face and name on the news, at the post office, everywhere. He was apparently a criminal turned crime solving detective, but Kate knew better than that. She and Anthony had crossed paths enough for her to know better than to trust what the media had said._

_Kate screamed and tried to get away. But when she ran backwards, someone caught her. She looked around. It was Dying Guy._

_He pointed at her with a smile._

_"I FINALLY CAUGHT YOU!" he screamed triumphantly. "Circle Edward, cross out Kate!" He did a little jig. "I won, you lost, you're going to ja-il!" he said in a Singsonging Voice._

_He put handcuffs on Kate's wrists, and she started crying. She felt like her entire life was crshing down upon her._

_"What about my reward?" asked Cooper. "I conned her for months, where is my reward?" Dying Guy glanced at him and threw him a twenty, still gloating. Cooper stared at him._

_"_This _is my reward? I demand a better one!" Edward ignored him and took Kate to the police cruiser. He put her in handcuffs, and buckled up, laughing at Cooper, who he had used. "Next stop, Oceanic 815!" he yelled. "Little Katie's going to jail in LA!" Dying Guy was on the right side of he law, but he was still evil. Just legally._

_Cooper stared at them, and Kate stared back, crying tears of betrayal. Cooper pulled out his cell phone, and, as Kate watched, dialed 1-800-666-SETH. Seth answered on the first ring._

_"Hello?" he said on the other side of the line. Kate could just barely make out his voice._

_"Hey, Seth? It's Anthony."_

_"Ohh, hey Anthony! What's up?" Cooper paused for a moment, and then said,_

_"... We have another plane to cra-"_

Kate was blasted out of the memory by Edward Mars strangling her. He stared at her with bugged out eye, hands wrapped tightly around her throat.

"Gaa!" spluttered Kate, trying in vain to get free, when Dying Guy let go.

"Sorry, I just do that...!" But he realized it was Kate and lifted up his hands to strangle her again, but Jack heroically knocked Kate out of the way, jumping out of nowhere, saving her life.

"Kate, I love you!" He shouted as he did it. Jack then knocked out the Marshal with a spare frying pan.

Kate stared at him, out of breath from the excitement. She stared at Jack in wonder and a fresh surge of love.

"Thanks, Jack!" she breathed to him. They left the tent holding hands.

...

Michael and Walt were sitting underneath a little bit of shelter. It was raining really hard. Michael had something he wanted to ask his little tyke.

"Hey, Walt, what did the Bald say to you yesterday?"

"You mean Mr. Locke?" Walt asked.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. So what was he talking to you about?" Walt thought for a moment before he answered.

"Well... he told me a secret and taught me how to play a game." To any normal parent, this would be disturbingly vague information, but it did not faze Michael.

"What was the secret?" he asked.

"It was that a miracle happened to him!" said Walt happily. Michael grinned at him.

"Walt, a miracle happened to all of us. We survived a plane crash. I think. This could very well be Hell. So stay away from Locke," Michael said with concentration.

"No, Dad. A _real_ miracle... duh!" Walt glared at his hate-able father. "You know, I want Vincent back!" Michael groaned.

"Ah, little man, I'll find him as soon as it stops raining." As if on he had planned it, Locke walked by just then singing,

"Rain, rain, go away, come again another day," while sprinkling fairy dust on the ground. Suddenly, the rain stopped, and the sun came out again. It was a beautiful moment of peace. Michael set off to find Vincent without another word.

...  
"VIIIIIINNNNNNCCCEEEEENNNNTTT!" Michael yelled, some time later. "Where are you, dog? Come to Michael."

Suddenly, Michael stopped. He had heard a noise. It sounded like a Korean woman washing herself (remember that little part with Sun and Jin, huh, huh?) but it also could sound like a monstrous boar. He ran towards the noise, in a suicidal manner.

"Kill meh!" He yelled. He entered a small clearing.

It was Sun, washing her face. It was the first time anyone but her parents had seen her without at least an inch of make-up on, so she felt indecent. It was an awkward moment.

"Oh... sorry, man. It this an... um... bad time?" Michael asked uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry, I do not speak English." Sun said. They both looked away. What an awkward moment.

BOTB (Back On The Beach), Charlie was sitting on a tire, with a marker, writing "FATE" on his finger bandages. He looked over. Locke was sitting near him, making whistles. Dog whistles, cat whistles, people whistles, even hunter whistles, you name, he was making it. Charlie now felt all self-conscious.

"Hello." He gave Locke a little smile and a wave.

Locke glanced up at Charlie, than ignored him and started working on his whistles.

"So... what are you making?" Charlie asked. Locke looked up again, looking annoyed.

"Whistles." Charlie nodded.

"Ooh, cool! You know, I played around with some whistles once. In the band. It was pretty cool." He waited for Locke to say something. He didn't.

"Yeah... it was great. What kind of whistles are you making?" Locke once again looked up from his work.

"A dog whistle." Than he got up and walked away, leaving Charlie feeling strangely worthless and embarrassed.

Later...  
It was now night time again. It was so weird, how they seemed to have been here for days, and still they hadn't been rescued. Like, weirdo!

Anyway, the Marshal was now _really _dying. Loudly. The life was getting sucked right out of him.

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he shouted. Jack ran in the tent to tend to him.

On the beach people were getting stressed out by all of this noise.

"Can't he just die already?" asked Shannon.

"Real humane, Shan," said Boone.

On another part of the beach, Sawyer and Kate were roasting marshmallows.

"You know... there's one more bullet in that gun of ours." Said Sawyer to Kate suggestively. He wriggled his eye-brows.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Are you suggesting we kill Jack?" She asked. Sawyer laughed.

"No, the Dying Guy, but nice one. Now I wish we had two bullets." He cracked up again, imagining Jack dying from a bullet wound.

"Why would we kill someone that's already dying?" she asked, giggling a little, too.

"To get him to shut up!" Sawyer chuckled. (They were drunk).

"Okay... let's go do it than!" Kate laughed as she and Sawyer sprung up to go do some killing. In their intoxicated state, it seemed like a reasonable idea, and Kate loved the feeling of being in a team with Sawyer….

Five minutes later...

Hurley ran over to Jack.

"Jack! Jack! Kate went into the Marshal's tent!" He puffed. Jack glared, not necessarily at Hurley. Scott scampered away from him quickly.

"What's wrong with Kate visiting her friend in his last hours?" he asked. _Ha, _he thought, _let's hear Hurley beat that_!

"Well, she kind of has a gun," said Hurley. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Soooo?"

"Sawyer was with her too!" Hurley yelled. Jack's eyes widened, and he ran to the tent.

"SAWYER!" Suddenly, there was the sound of a gunshot. Sawyer and Kate walked out of the tent together.

"I had to kill him, Jack. He was annoying me!" said Sawyer.

"GAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA!" yelled Dying Guy. Jack's eyes turned red.

"You didn't kill him!" He pushed past the murderers and entered the tent.

Hurley, Sawyer, and Kate stared at the tent. They heard Jack count to five, and the screams stopped. Jack walked out without another word. Kate started crying.

The next morning, everyone but Jack was well rested, and ready for a big day. A song played as everyone did happy stuff.

Locke walked up to Walt with Vincent.

"I found your dog!" he said with a smile. Walt jumped up and down.

"Yippee! You are so much better than Dad!" He yelled as Michael stared on, crying. Kate and Jack sat next to each other. They were friends again.

"So, I'll tell you what I did if you want," Kate said. She knew that Jack knew that she was a fugitive.

"No, don't tell me. I don't wanna know," Jack said. "We all died three days ago. We should have a chance to restart. Huh, not really. I just don't want to know."

Kate stood up and walked away.

Everyone else was smiling. They skipped around the beach, holding hands. Sayid threw an orange to Sawyer, who threw it into the water thinking it was a bomb. Sayid turned magenta, but just laughed.

And Locke was staring creepily at the ocean. Staring because there was someone out there… and they were drowning.


	4. Le Lapin Blanc de la Mort

**Le Lapin Blanc de la Mort **  
**A Jack episode**  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC. I just do this for fun.

_Young Jack opened his eyes. A trickle of blood flowed down his head. He looked up. A Bully was standing above him, with a smirk. Jack tried to get up again, but than he remembered that he was on top of a skyscraper and he was right on the edge._

_The Bully laughed. "Stay down and you won't get beaten up, you punk." But at that point, Little Jack saw Mark Silverman, his best friend, tied up in ropes. Two other Bullies were holding on to one part of the rope to keep the precariously dangling boy from falling off. Jack sighed. Being de facto leader was tough. He had many responsibilities. _

_Jack tried to get up to save his friend. Mark gave Jack a look that said, "Help me!" Jack rolled his eyes and nodded, exasperated. He would be right there. _

_And then, right in front of his eyes, they dropped Mark off of the building. He fell to his premature death. Jack gaped at the murderers (a young Tom Friendly, and his old friend Sinbad, who was visiting America)._

_"Why'd you do that!" asked Jack, running at the bullies. He tried to push them off, but instead _he_ fell off._

_He landed on the ground, _hard_, and let out a manly scream. He didn't appear to be too injured, but his back hurt a lot. He saw the bullies dancing around, laughing. The first Bully looked kind of scared though, and Jack saw him escape into the hotel. The other bullies swarmed around Jack like vultures._

_"Should have stayed down, Jack!" they yelled. And they pummeled him to a bloody pulp._

_..._

Back in the real time, Jack looked up as he saw Charlie running to him, like the bully, but _much_ less intimidating. Jack yawned. It was too early for this. He stood up.

"What's up, Pace?" he asked in a falsely interested voice.

"Jack, JACK! There's someone out there in the water! Someone's drowning!" Jack looked over. Someone _was_ drowning... Charlie wasn't hallucinating. Bummer.

Jack _really _regretted signing that doctor paper that said he had to save everyone. He ran to the water, taking off his shirt. It turned out Kate loved his abs.

"I... I would have gone out there, but I don't swim. I don't swim..." said Charlie. It was true, he sucked at swimming, but that wasn't the real he reason he didn't want to swim out there. He was afraid of those merpeople. Terrified, in fact.

Jack ran into the water, trying hard to look awesome. He succeeded, in his opinion. He swam out into the water, giving a commentary for the people on the beach.

"I am currently swimming free style, but I'm not trying to keep my legs up, or my head down, because I don't have goggles and I don't want salt in my eyes... Whoa, there was a _huge _wave that I narrowly avoided with my skillz... I'm getting closer to that drowning guy! Does anyone know who it is, because if it's Sawyer I won't save him..."

"HEY THAT'S NOT NICE!" yelled Sawyer from the beach. He ran away crying. Walt punched him and called him a poo poo diaper baby.

"GUESS IT'S NOT SAWYER!" Jack shouted to the people watching. He was getting pretty close to the person that was drowning. A wild wave dunked him underwater. Charlie and Kate watched, caught in an expectant moment.

While Jack was under he saw the guy that was drowning. It was Boone. Jack grabbed him and resurfaced. Boone gasped for breath.

"Did you get the person who I couldn't get because if you didn't I am going to be really upset?" Boone asked while they were swimming back.

"... What?" Jack asked. He looked over. There was _another_ drowning person.

"Man, we survivors are just drowning machines," said Boone. Jack was stressed. He hated having to save people, but it was his duty. He decided to come and get the person after he safely returned Boone to the beach.

He safely returned Boone to the beach, and started swimming back out to save the other person...

They were nowhere in sight. They had drowned. Jack stared at the ocean, feeling guilty and sad... unused to these emotions, he turned to anger, and swam back to the beach swearing. Everyone stared.

Jack had failed.

...

Later...

Kate found Jack standing in the beach, staring at the water, fingering a vodka bottle. This was unusual behavior for the de facto leader, who was normally in the thick of the action. The action just now had been figuring out who had drowned.

First they'd made sure that all the main characters were still alive. Check!

Next, Scott, Steve, Rose, and Spencer Hastings (the guest star from the Pretty Little Liars who never did anything). Check!

After that they'd checked out the extras... Not so good there. Johanna Miller had died. She was a professional swimmer person.

"Johanna Miller," Kate said, walking up behind Jack.

"What?" Jack asked, turning around and looking at Kate with crazed eyes. He was pretty scary, actually.

"She's the one who drowned. Apparently she went swimming with Ethan Rom... a new kind of swimming Ethan came up with that involved Johanna wearing 10 pound weights on her legs. Ethan came back early because he got tired."

"Hmmm..." said Jack, rubbing his stubble. "Strange... It's all my fault, unfortunately. The others must hate me..."

"No! Of course not! It's impossible to hate you!" said Kate, just as Hurley walked by. He noticed Jack, glared, and stalked off.

"MURDERER!" he yelled back at them. "I HATE YOU!" Jack cried a little, but in a manly way.

Suddenly, he saw that mysterious figure in a muffler and a cloak, standing there watching him.

"YELP!" Jack yelped. "Kate, did you see him?" Kate looked weirdly at him.

"Who? Hurley?"

"NO! The mysterious figure in a muffler and a cloak!" Jack was worried that he was hallucinating. He was just falling apart. A broken man. He remembered when he was perfect. That had been this morning, before Johanna died. Now Jack was a failure again.

Kate realized that Jack must be sleep deprived. That was the only reason he could be acting so strangely.

"... Jack, when was the last time you slept?" she asked, stroking his arm gently. He shook off her lovely hand.

"A while ago... Why don't you leave me alone right now, Kate? I need some _alone time_." Jack was surprised at himself. Kate was his soul mate! He was going to take the angry words back, but a cat caught his tongue and Kate ran away disgusted. She was allergic to cats. Jack took off the cat with unnecessary force and decided he deserved to be treated like this. He was once again a failure. He no longer had what it took.

On another part of the beach, Sawyer was reading _I Was a Non-Blonde Cheerleader _(he couldn't wait to see who got Daniel- Sage or Annisa. He hoped it was Annisa).He was smoking a cigarette, and had his back to a rubber tire from the plane. Charlie and Hurley walked past him carrying a cooler.

"Hey, Sawyer," said Charlie with affection. He didn't get why everyone hated Sawyer.

"Hi there, Charlie," said Sawyer with a smile. Sawyer had dimples! Charlie loved dimples. He squealed with pleasure. Hurley saw the book Sawyer was reading and let out a laugh.

"Ha! You're reading books for teenage girls! You are more of a loser than I thought you were, which is saying something!" Hurley smirked. He still hated Sawyer for eating that peanut. Sawyer frowned.

"Bye, Hurley," he said pointedly. He puffed his cigarette. Charlie noticed.

"Are you sure you want to be smoking by the plane stuff?" he asked. Sawyer's eyes widened and he put out his cigarette hastily. Hurley rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Pace." They toddled off, Charlie giving Sawyer a little wave. Sawyer finished his book (it left him feeling exhilarated. He couldn't wait to read the sequel, _Brunettes Strike Back)_ just as Shannon came sauntering up to him.

"Do you have any sunblock? I just found out that Charlie's had expired years ago." Sawyer raised his eyebrows.

"Sunblock can expire?" he asked.

"I know, it's disgusting, it expired in _1956_... I feel so icky now!" Sawyer smiled politely.

"Well, I have sunblock that I bought last month, would that be okay?" He held it up. It was the kind that had the picture of the almost naked little girl with the pink towel on it. Shannon smiled.

"Thanks. What would you like for it?" she asked. Sawyer's eyebrows went up even higher.

"You're gonna give me something for it?" Shannon nodded. She got out a bag of valuables.

"Yeah, you can pick something from here for your stash." Sawyer's dimples shined brightly. But how did she know about his stash?

"Who told you about my stash?" he asked, taking a little bell. It was shaped like an ugly and fat angel and it said "COMPASSION" on it. He decided to call it "The Compassion Fairy".

"Um... like, everyone knows about it, Sawyer. Except for maybe Charlie and Boone, because they are _so_ out of the loop. Thanks for the sunblock!" Shannon giggled and pranced off with the sunblock. Sawyer felt strangely happy.

Shannon did that to people sometimes.

Meanwhile, Charlie and Hurley had found Jack, who they had been looking for. He stared at them with insane eyes and dilated pupils as they prepared to open the cooler for him.

"Drum roll, please!" said Charlie. Hurley patted his belly as Charlie cracked open the lid.

Inside were three bottles of water. It was the last of their water.

"What is this," asked Jack, not using a question mark because he just. didn't. care.

"This... is the last of our water!" said Hurley. Charlie looked worried.

"I thought there were four bottles left!"

"Well, I got thirsty," shrugged Hurley. Charlie sighed, but seemed otherwise unaffected by this news.

"Jack, how do you think this is gonna last with 47 thirsty people?" Charlie asked, his hands shaking.

"46." Jack corrected him. "There are 46 survivors now because I FAILED!"

Charlie tilted his head to the side and looked strangely at Jack, wondering if he was okay. If Charlie had learned anything about Jack in the days since they'd crashed, it was that Jack didn't acknowledge his own mistakes, only other peoples'. So why now?

"Yeah, whatever, so Johanna's dead and it's your fault. What are we gonna do with the water?" Hurley asked as the group walked over to the makeshift medical tent, dragging along the cooler. It was _so... heavy..._

"Why are you asking me." Again, no question mark. Things like water had never bothered Jack the hero- oops I mean Jack the failure. Charlie cleared his throat.

"Well... you're the de facto leader, Jack. _Please_ tell us what to do." Jack growled at them.

"No! I will not help you! I can't, I don't have what it takes!" Jack ran off, crying and pulling out parts of his hair. Hurley swore.

"Is _everyone _here incompetent?" Hurley put the water out of the way in the tent. Charlie's mouth watered.

"Hurley... I'm thirsty!"

Hurley glared at him, holding up a dagger as if to say "_Go away"_, so that's exactly what Charlie did.

...

On another part of the beach, Kate was folding laundry and disposing of the clothes that no one needed. Sayid had missed some the other day.

Kate was singing under her breath.

"_I fell in love with a real city boy, gotta teach him 'bout nature, teach him 'bout joy..." _Claire toddled up to her.

"_Us Amazonians know where we stand, we got kids, we got jobs, why do we need a man?" _Together they sang:

"_Us Amazonians make out all right, but we want something to hold in the forest at night_!" They laughed.

"I'm Claire," said Claire, extending her hand for Kate to shake, but Kate pushed it aside and pulled Claire into a hug. They laughed.

"Let's be friends!" Kate said, smiling. Claire nodded

"Alright!" Claire squinted at Kate for a moment. Then she smiled. "You're a Gemini, aren't you?" Kate rolled her eyes.

"Yep. How'd you know?" she asked. Claire giggled.

"Oh you know, quiet, friendly... You just had to be a Gemini." Claire smiled. "I'm Scorpio. Enigmatic, peaceful." Kate sighed.

"You really believe in astrology?" she asked. Claire nodded.

"Yep... you wouldn't, though... most people don't. _Especially _not _Gemini_." She rolled her eyes. Kate avoided her eyes, uncomfortable with the situation."_Oh, _Gemini_._" Claire said under her breath with a smile. Kate laughed, and they were BFFs, just like that.

...

Jack was having a flashback.

_Young Jack walked into his living room. His alcoholic father, Christian Shepard sat in an armchair watching comedy shows on TV. Jack entered just as his father had let out a huge guffaw._

_Jack cleared his throat. He was covered with bruises. His father looked him over._

_"What happened?" he asked in a cold voice. He took a chug of his alcohol._

_Jack avoided his gaze._

_"Mark Silverman got thrown off a skyscraper," he said. Christian raised his eyebrows._

_"And you didn't?" he asked. Jack shook his head._

_"I fell off while trying to avenge Mark's death, father." Christian laughed a little. He shook his head._

_"Jack, you don't get it, do you?" Jack stared at his father. What didn't he get? He _got_ almost everything! Maybe this had something to do with the death of his dearest friend?_

_But that was not so._

_"You don't _get _what it takes to be a leader, do you Jack?" Jack, shocked, shook his head. "Well, even though you don't have what it takes, I was hoping you would at least know what you didn't have!" Christian glared at Jack with glazed eyes. Jack was speechless._

_"Dad... what is that I don't have?" he finally asked. Christian let out a little laugh._

_"Oh, Jack." he said, shaking his head, "You don't have what it takes, that's what you don't have. Me? I have what it takes. I'm different. You're... you're not good enough. Want an example have how you're not good enough?" _

_Jack nodded quickly. He wanted to be the best he could be. _

_"Well, today when your best friend was killed, you tried to do something about it. That was obviously not the right choice, Jack. Look at yourself."_

_Jack looked at himself._

_"There are consequences for not having what it takes, Jack. Consequences like that shiner on your eye and your several broken bones." Jack nodded, not wanting to admit to himself that his father had a point. How could Jack get what it takes?_

_"Dad? How do I get what it takes?" Christian Shepard thought for a moment._

_"I really don't know, Jack. _I_ have what it takes... let me think for a moment of what I do to have it..." he thought for a moment. "Well, for example, today I was attempting a life-saving surgery while drunk. I failed, and the guy died. But did I try unnecessary things to save him? No. I just let him be. I came home, changed my clothes, poured myself a drink and watched comedy shoes. I laughed. How can I do that? Well, Jack, I just have what it takes." Jack nodded... was he a hopeless case?_

_"You're a hopeless case, Jack."_

_..._

In real time, Jack was standing, staring at parts of the plane, fingering a vodka bottle. Boone jogged up to him.

"Hey, Jack?" Jack looked at him, blasted out of the memory, and groaned because it was Boone. "Jack, I have a lil' question to ask you and except an answer!" He stamped his foot.

"You mean you EXPECT an answer, not you EXCEPT an answer, Boone. What's your question."

"Why did you save me from drowning. It was so annoying of you!" Jack ignored him. "Hey, hey Ja-ack! Listen to me! Gaa you are no fun at all."

Jack looked at Boone. "I saved you because I'm the de facto leader, Boone." His voice was hollow. Suddenly, he saw the mysterious figure up ahead. He started walking to it, not taking his eyes off of it.

"But... but why are you the de facto leader? What did you even do? I am so much better than you! I run a business!" Boone jogged after Jack, who was starting to run after the mysterious figure. "JACK! COME BACK!" he yelled. But Jack didn't hear him. He ran into the jungle, after the figure, because the figure looked A LOT like his father.

Boone was left standing there alone.

"Welp, looks like we all have a new de facto leader on our hands," he said to himself, putting on a sheriff badge. He smiled, puffed out his chest, and strutted off.

...

Ten minutes later...

"That pregnant lady falled down!"

Walt was yelling for help. Claire had fainted, but no one around him seemed to notice. He looked around frantically, not knowing what to do.

"Miss Kate! Come here! The pregnant lady fell down! She fainted!" he yelled again. Kate looked up from the quilt she was stitching. She ran over to Claire, and Charlie, who had heard Walt too, came with her.

"Here, I'll pick up her upper half, and you get her legs!" instructed Kate. Charlie grabbed Claire's legs, freaked out that she had fainted. Together he and Kate carried her to the medical tent and laid her down, giving her a blanket as a pillow.

"Get her some water!" said Kate, arranging her friend's limbs in a feminine way. Charlie ran over to where he had put the cooler earlier.

It wasn't there.

The cooler was completely missing.

"GAA!" yelled Charlie, freaking out under pressure. "KATE, THE WATER'S GONE!" Kate whipped around to look at him.

"What! Where is it?" She ran around the tent looking for the cooler. Charlie helped. They couldn't find it!

"Well, Charlie, hurry up and go get more water!" Kate said. Charlie gaped at her.

"How! That was the last of it, Kate!" Kate gaped back.

"That was the last of the water and you didn't tell anyone!" Charlie cleared his throat.

"You're assuming things there, Kate! I didn't keep it as a secret! Don't be angry, please! I told Jack... maybe he moved the water?" Kate shook her head.

"I doubt it, but we should go ask him what to do with Claire. I can't believe we have no more water, Charlie!" She spun around and stalked out of the tent. Charlie, who was kind of annoyed at Kate's attitude, decided he should stay with Claire in case she woke up.

Kate found Sayid to help her, because she could always rely on him to be smart, unlike Charlie and Sawyer. Together they looked for Jack, but they couldn't find him anywhere.

Kate ran her fingers through her hair, distraught. She almost cried, but at the last moment she stopped herself. There was no need. Sayid would think of something.

"What are we going to do!" she asked Sayid. He thought for a moment.

"We should go ask the bald to find us more water! He's good at stuff like that." Sayid started looking for Locke immediately.

They found him sitting in Jack's tent rummaging through the doctor's bags. He looked up with a guilty expression on his face and hid the hallucinogens (to use on Boone later) he had picked out behind his back. They had a conversation with him. He agreed to finding water for them. They were just about to leave when he asked,

"Where is the doctor?" Sayid and Kate looked at each other and shrugged. They didn't know. And honestly, Kate no longer cared about her "friend" the doctor. He didn't really have what it took any more. But Sawyer... he was _sexy_. Plus he read cool books.

"I dunno." said Kate, and she and Sayid began the search for the missing water. Locke picked up his bag of divining supplies, and went out in search of new water.

...

Jack, who was running through the jungle, almost got his father. He was a foot away, just about to grab him, when he got attacked by a flashback!

"DANG IT!" he shouted just as he was completely overcome with the memory.

_Jack was again in his living room, but this time it was an older Jack, about the same age that he is in present time._

_His father was nowhere in sight, but his mother, who was crying, was sitting in the armchair. Jack was sitting on the floor eating a bowl of Crunchy Flakes._

_"Jack, why do you eat those vile things?" Jack looked up. He also had tears in his eyes. What had happened?_

_"Mom, I eat these things because..._

Crunchy Flakes, Crunchy Flakes, **give you what it takes**,

Eat a dishful everyday, you'll feel bright and gay!

Crunchy Flakes, Crunchy Flakes, **give you what it takes**,

Lots of sugar, lots of cream, puts you on the beam!_" _

_Jack took a little bow for his mother, who just cried harder. She glared at Jack._

_"The only reason your father left was because you got what it takes, Jack! How do you think that made him feel?" _

_"Hmm... let me see... proud, maybe? Oh wait, it's my father we're talking about! Of course, I'm such a terrible person, I should have realized that my success made him JEALOUS!" Jack kicked his mother's elephant leg umbrella holder into their alligator skin couch. The umbrellas fell on their beautiful bear fur carpet. _

_Jack's mom didn't catch the sarcasm or the anger and thought that Jack finally understood._

_"Yes, Jack, YES! So I need you to go get your father from Australia and stop eating that vile cereal." Jack gaped her._

_"No, I am not going to get my idiot dad and stop eating the cereal that has made my life what it is!" It was now Jack's mom turn to gape at him._

_"Okay, Jack... I thought you might do this. Here, how about you go to Australia, but you can eat your cereal?" Jack squinted at her._

_"Mother..." _

_"Jack..."_

_"Fine... DANG IT! But I still don't love him!" Jack's mother rolled her eyes._

_"Of course not, Jack. No one does."_

The flashback ended as suddenly as it had came. Jack looked around.

He was on the edge of a cliff. Kind of like the skyscraper thing, which made Jack angrier than he already was.

"Bye bye, Jack." Jack's eyes opened wide when he saw Seth Norris and the mysterious figure standing next to each other with evil smiles.

Seth ran over and kicked Jack, knocking him off the edge! Seth and the guy in the muffler and cloak disappeared in a flash of glittery gold.

Jack grabbed onto a root, barely able to hold on. He was just so mad because he had thought that Seth was his friend! _I guess he's too much of a success to be my friend..._ he thought to himself, remembering Johanna. He sighed and prepared himself for his death.

Maybe death would be better than being a failure. He prepared to let go of the root when...

A hand started reaching out for Jack. The hand was creepy. _It must belong to Locke!_ thought Jack. He immediately grabbed onto Locke's hand and pulled himself up. He didn't _really_ want to die. That was just an impulse.

When Jack was successfully pulled up completely he laid next to Locke and laughed like a crazy person.

Locke took Jack to a quiet, shady clearing in the jungle. Jack laid down and took a nap as John started divining.

"Water... water... water." Jack woke up and watched Locke walk around like a fool.

"You're not going to find any water out here, I tell you." said Jack wisely. Locke smiled at Jack. It appeared he'd gotten some of his old pizzaz back.

"The signs are all right on the money. It's a full moon tonight, plus it's May."

"It's September, John."

"Oh, well never mind, then. There's no use in lookin' for water, I'll never find any." Locke threw down the stick, which snapped in half. "I hate divining anyway."

They were quiet for awhile, but eventually Jack started making little "ehh..." and "urhmm..." noises.

"WILL YOU STOP IT?" yelled Locke. "WHY ARE YOU MAKING THOSE NOISES?" Jack started crying in a manly way then, terribly destressed. Locke huffed. "Jack, you're just falling apart! Tell me, what's the matter?"

Jack wiped away some of his tears. "Why would I tell _you_, John?" Locke looked skeptically at Jack.

"Jack if you don't pull yourself together and tell me what's wrong in 5 seconds, I'm going to have to be the new de facto leader."

Jack whimpered.

"1... 2... 3... 4's awful close!"

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'LL TELL YOU!" Jack leapt up dramatically. Locke smiled at the result of his threat and decided, _Hey, I like threatening people! It helps me get what I want_.

Jack sat down on a flat rock, keeping his back straight and his chin up, ready to explain in full detail his peculiar actions. He took a deep breath. Okay, he could do it.

"Well, John, the first thing that started bugging me was when I had a hallucination of my dead father- oh wait, the you didn't know he was dead yet! Forget that part. Okay, so I was hallucinating this man."

Locke thought of the hallucinogens he had taken from Jack's bag and he wondered if Jack had used them, too.

"The man that I saw was appearing randomly, and he scared the wits out of me, if you don't mind my use if that expression."

"Not at all. Please continue."

"Alrighty, than. The next thing that got at me was that this morning I ran out of Crunchy Flakes, my favorite cereal. They give me what it takes, you see. Well, at first I thought, 'it's no big deal. I bet I've eaten enough of those for a life time of having what it takes!' But, oh I was wrong. I started suspecting that when Charlie came up and talked to me and I _responded_. I actually _responded to him_. See, I normally don't stoop so low as to talk to druggies."

_Okay, I guess he doesn't use the hallucinogens, _thought Locke, _And Charlie does drugs? Well who'd a thunk. I'll have to keep that in mind when I aggravate him tomorrow. _

"So that's when I started to realize something was not right. But I really knew it when I failed to save Johanna. Gosh... I wish I still had what it took." Locke nodded sympathetically.

"So do I, Jack. Because you're our leader. And we need you back."

"I don't feel like a leader, John." Locke looked Jack in the eye.

"Jack, maybe your hallucinations are just that- hallucinations. But maybe- just maybe- they're not. This island's different. You and I both know it, but no one else wants to admit it because it scares them."

Jack stared at Locke, bewildered and shocked that he was saying stuff like this. He dismissed it as bunkum and balderdash.

"What everything that happened... here... happened for a reason?" Locke asked. He smiled and said, "I'll leave you to think about that, Jack. Then after that you can figure out your white rabbit of death."

He got up and left, grabbing his bag. He waved at Jack, laughing at his shocked expression.

...

Meanwhile, on the beach Kate and Sayid were spying on people from afar to see if they had the water.

It had been an hour and they still hadn't seen water. Until Sun pranced by holding a bottle of water and sipping it daintily.

Sayid ran out and tackled her. "THIEF! WATER THIEF!" he yelled. He was just about to punch the small woman when Jin ran towards him.

"YOU STOP THAT NOW! DO NOT DARE HURT MY WIFE!" He pushed Sayid off of Sun and they started fighting. It was a full on brawl.

"Gaaa!"

"Gaa_aaa_aaa!" Meanwhile, Kate walked up to Sun.

She pointed at the water bottle.

"Where'd you get that?" she asked. Sun pretended to be confused for a minute, and then she pointed at Sawyer. Kate's eyes widened. "You got it from him?" she asked, pointing at the water and then at Sawyer, who was now reading _Brunettes Strike Back_.

Sun nodded. Kate left her alone and marched up to Sawyer.

"Give me the water _now_, Sawyer." She no longer thought he was attractive. Sawyer looked up.

"Can you believe that the whole squad wants to dye Annisa's hair blonde? Well, not everyone, I mean Mindy doesn't, and neither does Whitney, but everyone else does! It's horrible. Just because she's the only brunette on the team... and what's up with Daniel? He's spending a bit too much time with Sage, if you ask me." Kate gave him a funny look.

"Sawyer. Give me the water."

Sawyer smiled at her. "I don't have it, I'm sorry." Kate's temper flared up at once.

"Yes, you do! You gave some to Sun." They looked over. Sun was watching, amused, as Sayid and Jin went at it with each other.

Sawyer smiled again. He. Had. DIMPLES! Kate smiled in spite of herself, her anger dissolving. Okay, maybe he _was_ kind of hot.

"I gave Sun _my _last bottle of water, not _the camp's _bottle of water. I have no idea who took all of that water." Kate squinted at him suspciously, but she believed his story. Oh well. Maybe Locke would be back soon.

"Is this series any good?" she asked him, picking up _I Was a Non-Blonde Cheerleader_. Sawyer laughed.

"_Is this series any good_? This is one of the best book series I have ever read! There's still another book after this!" he smiled and held up _A Non-Blonde Cheerleader In Love_. Kate squealed with joy and started reading.

Over in the medical tent, Charlie was still waiting for Claire to wake up. While he was waiting he had divulged in his dwindling drug stash. He had hardly any left, which _really bugged him_. He did not want to run out!

Charlie was humming when he noticed that Claire was starting to wake up. She looked around groggily.

"Where am I?" she asked, rubbing her eyes. Charlie smiled.

"In a tent, on an island, lying down next to your _soul mate_." Claire looked up, now annoyed, and saw Charlie. He riggled his eyebrows. "I have Skittles in my mouth... wanna _taste the rainbow_?"

He was smiling. Obviously he found himself very amusing.

Claire decided to confuse him a little.

"Ta, mate. Not to grouse, but I feel like I could chunder." Charlie nodded with a silly smile on his face. Claire didn't think he understood her.

"Yeah, me too." Okay, he definitely didn't understand her. Claire tried not to smile.

"Ummm... really? You're not having a lend at me, are you? I'm not really in the mood for that right now. 'Ken hell, I'm knackered."

Charlie tried to process what she said.

"Umm... sorry? Are you... okay?"

"Fine. I'd much rather be lying on a doona now than just the sand, though. This is just poxy." She looked at Charlie with amused eyes. A cold wind blew through the tent. "Brrr... can I have my sloppy joe, please?" Charlie stared, not even trying to hide his confusion anymore.

"Isn't a sloppy joe a type of sandwich?" he asked.

"Why would I be asking for a sambo right now? Are you mad? I am pretty thirsty though, where's that esky I saw earlier?"

Charlie gaped at her. "I know I must sound like an idiot, but what the bloody hell is an esky?" Claire stared at him.

"A _cooler_. Do you know... where the... _cooler_... is?" she said slowly. She had expected him to understand her a _little_ more than this.

Charlie did a facepalm.

"Actually... no one knows where the cooler is. It was stolen," he said, calming himself down by humming softly.

"Who stole it? Are we out of water?" Claire was getting upset now. She was parched.

"We _are _out of water, but it's gonna be okay. Locke's getting us more."

"Which one's Locke, again? Is he the hunter?"

"Yeah, the one with 400 knives... I counted, you know." He was trying to impress her with his ability to count to numbers as high as 400. She rolled her eyes.

"Wow... you actually took the time to count?"

"Well... um... if you put it that way, I sound like an idiot." Claire smiled.

"Maybe that's a good thing." Then she stood up and pranced off aloofly. Charlie was left wondering what the heck he did wrong. The truth was, he hadn't done anything. Claire was just on an anti-boy streak because her old boyfriend (the father of her baby) had left her. But Charlie didn't know that, so he did more drugs so he wouldn't have to think about her.

What a lack of communication. *SIGH*

Meanwhile, Sayid and Jin were still fighting. Right now Jin was winning.

"**NO ONE HURTS MY WIFE! EVER! YOU HEAR ME**!" Jin had him on the ground, whimpering. Finally, Jin got up, wiped blood off his hands, and walked away.

Oh great, now he was thirsty. And they were out of water, Sun had said. Jin spat on the ground, frustrated.

Sayid cleaned his wounds, wincing. He couldn't believe that he had lost! He normally won all the fights he was in. Jin was obviously a very advanced fighter.

Sayid pulled himself to his tent. He needed help. Shannon saw him, and walked over.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Sayid nodded, but it was so painful that he collapsed. Shannon screamed, thinking he was dead.

Steve ran over to help.

"I'LL HELP!" he got out a first aid kit. Sayid moaned as Steve expertly cleaned and sewed up his wounds. Shannon stared, amazed that an extra could do that.

"How'd you do that?" she asked, when Sayid was asleep. Steve shrugged.

"I teach a first aid class at a college. It's no biggie." Shannon smiled.

"You were amazing...!"

"Steve, the name's Steve. And you are?"

"Shannon." They smiled at each other.

"Maybe sometime you could teach me that stuff?"

"Any time." They stared at each other, mesmerized. But then Sayid woke up.

"Urghh... It's hurts!" he said. "Shannon, can you give me a back rub?" Shannon and Steve looked at each other. Extras and main characters weren't supposed to get on like that.

"Uh, sure Sayid!" she said, giving Steve a little wave as he quickly walked away. They shared a smile, and then he was gone.

...

Jack was sitting on that same rock, when he had another flashback.

_Jack, wearing detective clothes, entered a hotel room with a man. They came in, and looked around at all the smashed bottles of beer and whisky. The TV was on, and a comedy show was playing. No one was inside the room but Jack and the man._

_"WHERE IS HE!" Jack yelled at the man, who's name was Anthony Cooper..._

_"I'm sorry, I don't know, son."_

_"I'M NOT YOUR SON, MISTER!" Anthony took a step back, away from Jack._

_"I know that! It was just a nickname, Jack!" Jack squinted at him._

_"Where is my father? Tell me the truth! He was the **number one dad**." Jack was embarrassed to hear his voice crack on the last few words, so he said it again, and again, until he said it correctly._

_"He dead, boy."_

_Fifteen minutes later, Anthony and Jack had successfully broken into the Sydney morgue. They were dressed all in black and they were sneaking around, looking at the bodies to see if any of them were Christian Shepard. _

_They only had one more body to look at. Jack crossed his fingers hopefully, but he didn't know whether or not he wanted his father to be dead..._

_The last body was Jack's daddy. Anthony patted Jack's back comfortingly as they quickly and stealthily carried the body out, knocking over the guards that were dumb enough to get in their way._

_When they were safely far away, Jack wept._

Jack was even crying after the flashback had ended. He wiped away the tears that were a result of his serious Daddy Issues.

Jack's dad walked up to Jack.

"Jack," he said. Jack looked up, picked up a gun, and shot his father down.

"I hate you," he said to his dying dad hallucination, and he got up and walked away, not regretting his harsh actions at all.

Now that a version of his father had died at his hands, he felt light and giddy.

"OH HAPPY DAY!" he yelled, because no one was there to hear him be loud and happy (he was waaay too cool to act like that in public). He jumped up and down. "I AM SO HAPPY!"

He ran around with his eyes closed after that. It was a lot of fun, until he got lost. Then it was kind of horrible.

He tiptoed around, scared. Suddenly, he tripped.

He looked down to see that he had tripped on a disturbing doll and fallen into a stream of clear water.

"Water...?" he said. It was! He looked at the doll. "Luella, there's water! Water! Sweet Jesus in Heaven." Jack cupped his hands together and started drinking. It was delicious.

"Mmmmmmm..." he said. He splashed some all over himself. Now that he was rehydrated he took the time to tie his shoes. He jumped up and down with joy.

"Tied his shoes all by his self! Tied his shoes by his self, he's gonna strut his stuff all by his self, he's strutting and strutting..." Jack strutted right into a cave.

Wait. Omigosh. A CAVE?

Jack started thinking, his brain functioning properly for the first time all day. There was fresh water here... and creepy dolls... and there were caves to live in, too! Jack had the plan all worked out in his mind: all of the survivors of the plane crash could live here with him, and he would be their king because he found the place! They would have water and Locke would bring them food. It would be perfectly splendid. Just _perrrrrfect_.

**Suddenly, Jack's eyes moved in the direction of an upsetting object. Before his brain could block it out for him, he screamed, running towards it and smashing things.**

It was his father's coffin. His dad wasn't in it.

Jack smashed it into smithereens. He burnt the pieces. And then he had a flashback.

_Jack was in the Sydney airport, standing in front of a desk. He was yelling at the lady standing behind it as people behind him in line stared._

_"PLEASE YOU MUST LET ME! PLEASE!"_

_"I'm sorry, sir, but we cannot allow you to burn your father while riding on the plane! Not only is that just wrong, but coffins aren't allowed with the passengers and you can by no means bring that blow torch on board the plane."_

_"PLEASE YOU MUST LET ME! PLEASE!" Jack shouted at the lady. She stared at him. Jack groaned. "Please... I want him gone."_

_"I'm sure there are ways to do that when you land in Los Angeles, sir!"_

_"We're going to Los Angeles, too" said Boone from behind Jack in line._

_"I guess so!" said Charlie, who was behind Boone. "Hmmm... I've never been to California before."_

_"Well I have. Many times, too," Boone said. Shannon whacked him._

_"Because we **live **in California you nitwit!"_

"_So you say," Boone said._

_Jack cleared his throat._

_"Excuse me, I have a rant to do," he explained. Jin nodded his head at Jack and did the A-Okay gesture so Jack went on._

_"Um, where was I... oh yeah! PLEASE YOU MUST LET ME! PLEASE!" The desk lady glared at him._

_"May I please help the next person in line?" Jack walked off yelling "DANG IT!". _

_Boone walked up to the counter._

_"Alrighty then, how is California?"_

The flashback ended and Jack temporarily (_very, very temporarily_) let go of his Daddy Issues. He walked back to the beach, a smile on his unshaven face and a backpack full of water.

...

Back on the beach, Claire was asleep in the medical tent, on a _doona _(a mattress, in case you didn't know).

Boone crept into her tent, singing the _Bed Intruder _song under his breath.

"_Better hide your kids_..." He had a water bottle in his hands. He must be the water thief!

Boone adjusted his badge. He had decided that he was good lookin' enough to wear one. He sneakily poured some water into Claire's mouth. She woke up, startled.

"What!" Since it was dark outside, she couldn't see who it was. "Is that you, Charlie?"

Charlie walked in because he had heard his name while lurking outside doing drugs.

"What about me? _Was I in your dreams_?" Claire looked over and saw him standing in the entrance to the tent.

"Than who's..."

"BOONE! BOONE TOOK THE WATER!" Artz the science teacher yelled, running around the camp. "BOONE TOOK IT!" Claire squinted. It WAS Boone!

Charlie pushed him out of the tent roughly.

"Who do you think you are, kid? What makes you think you can steal _our_ water?" he said, naturally adopting a Brooklyn accent.

Sayid came up, cracking his knuckles. "Yeah, punk, whatchu do that for, eh?"

"I was only trying to help... HELP!" Boone tried to struggle out of Charlie's grasp.

"What say we teach this boy a lesson, boys?" Charlie suggested. Sayid nodded.

"Yeah... we should... Hurley? Come 'ere and show him what we do to thieves 'round this part of the beach." Hurley came up with his knife.

"SO... you thought you'd try and mess with us, huh? Well no one messes with the Hurley, right boys?"

"Not unless they're suicidal. Are you suicidal?" asked Charlie innocently. He had lost the accent. Sayid glared at him.

"NO, but I'm _am_ the de facto leader!" Boone couldn't escape. "HELP ME!"

"Oh we'll help you all right... help you DIE!" Hurley was _jus_t about to kill Boone when Jack ran up.

"STOP! ENOUGH!" Jack hook-kicked Sayid, side-kicked Hurley, and pushed Charlie over. "EVERYONE, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND COME HERE!"

"It's Jack!" "The doctor's back!" "Where was he?" "Does he have water?" Whispers like that spread through the camp rapidly. Actually, the same ones had been going around all day, but this time time there was a reason for them.

Almost all of the survivors crowded around Jack in a huge circle. Jack almost expected them to join hands and sing John Lennon songs. He gave a significant look to Charlie, because of that John Lennon song about quitting heroin. Charlie didn't see the look, unfortunately.

Jack cleared his throat.

"_Hem, hem_. Alright now. It's time for me to deliver a speech... I guess I have some explaining to do, huh?"

Everyone nodded.

"Yeah, you sure do!" yelled Nikki. Jack got. He tried not to drool when he saw her.

Aww, people an butterflies in his stomach just looking at herd their obsessions with celebrities. Moving on.

"Well... I guess you could say that, I never really had what it took. That's why I was so depressed earlier. But, I am the de facto leader anyway."

"Wait what. I thought I have the title of de facto leader now?" Boone asked. Jack shook his head.

"Nope. Anyway... earlier we were out of water. Just like yesterday we were out of food. And like yesterday, today I found a way to solve that problem."

There was some muttering at this, because Jack hadn't solved that problem.

"I found water by some caves. It's about a mile away from here. I walked the distance in two minutes, though, because I'm fast. Okay, so anyhow. Boone took the water, right?"

"YES. KILL BOONE. HE TOOK THE WATER HE MUST DIE," yelled a group of people, or at least Jack thought that's what they yelled.

"This man tried to help and now you're trying to stab him? I am shocked at you people! Knives, guns, those things _are not going to work_. If you want someone dead, you've got to count to five! No way around it... I found water, just like I said, so we're gonna leave Boone alone now, _OK_? I'll take a group of people down to the caves first thing in the morning. If anyone wants to come, tell me. If you don't want to, _find another way to contribute_! We've been here like six days or something, and we still haven't gotten rescued! So we better start living together!

"Because if we can't live together, we're gonna die alone."

Jack took a bow, and everyone clapped for him. It was quite an impressive speech.

...

Later that night, people were calmed down. Everyone had had something to drink and they were relaxing now.

Boone was sitting alone. No one liked him anymore.

Sawyer walked up to him and sat down. "It stinks being hated for no reason, doesn't it?" he said. Boone pouted and nodded.

"Yea, it kinda does... How can you handle it?" Sawyer smiled. Boone did a double take. Sawyer had dimples!

"Well, to handle it, I read." He handed Boone _I Was a Non-Blonde Cheerleader_, which Kate had finished. She was now reading _Brunettes Strike Back, _and Sawyer was on_ A Non-Blonde Cheerleader In Love_.

Boone smirked at the book.

"I already read that, Sawyer you dum-dum." Sawyer hesitated, then gave the book to him anyway and walked off. Boone started reading it for the first time ever. (He had lied about reading it.)

Meanwhile, Kate walked up to Jack while holding a bowl of Crunchy Flakes. When he saw them, his face lit up with pleasant surprise.

"Where'd you find these, honey?" Kate smiled.

"In Sawyer's stash. He had ten boxes!"

"That dog. Give 'em here!" He reached out greedily for the cereal. Kate smiled and gave him a spoon, and they dug in together, kissing after each bite.

"So, what were you doing earlier?" Kate asked, while they were imbetween bites. Jack did that creepy thing when he smiles weirdly and shakes his head.

"What, apart from finding water? I just had to clear up a few things... I lost my doll in Sydney..."

They smiled, and kissed, content.

LOST


	5. The Little Acorn

**The Little Acorn**  
**A Charlie episode**  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC. I just do this for fun.  
**NOTICE:**  
DRUGS ARE BAD DON'T BE LIKE CHARLIE AND USE THEM.

_"I'm an acorn, small and round,_  
_Lying on the cold, hard ground_  
_No one wants to pick me up,_  
_'Cause I'm such a little nut._

_Once upon a time there was a little acorn. His name was Charlie. Charlie the acorn was a fun-loving kind of nut, but he hated working. Whenever his friends would gain the right nutrients, he would goof off and party and do drugs. Charlie the acorn never thought about his future, just about the present, and he never really grew up to be a big and mature nut._

_When it was time for the acorns to fall from the tree in the fall, Charlie the acorn was afraid. He hadn't thought about this point in his life at all and was completely unprepared. _

_The other acorns were prepared, though. "It's gonna be so much fun!" said acorn Liam. Charlie acorn didn't think so. To him, the ground looked cold and hard._

_After the acorns fell from the tree, Charlie was very uncomfortable. The ground hurt him, but not his friends. Having absorbed the right nutrients and such, they were not bothered by the ground._

_Day after day, squirrels and humans came by and picked up the big, strong acorns. Liam acorn got picked up by a kind butcher, and later became his apprentice. But they never picked up Charlie. That was because he was too physically and emotionally weak to be of any use to them. _

_Charlie was forced to lie on the ground forever, because no one wanted to invest the time or energy to help such a hopeless case. Charlie died on the cold, hard ground many lonely years later. _

_The moral of this story is in order to get help you have to be worth someone's time and energy. If they can't see any reason to help you, if you're too far gone, they won't help you. Because who would want to help a failure? No normal person, right Charlie? Only freakishly nice, patient people." _

_Little Charlie looked up at his father and nodded. Simon Pace beamed at his son._

_"That's why you'll be a butcher, right, boy?" Charlie nodded again. He was wondering why the acorn in the story had his name. He hadn't found the story very good, but he knew better than to say that to his father. Simon patted Charlie on the back and walked off to get ready for work. Charlie put away his little guitar and sat on his bed thinking about that story._

On the island in present time, someone's light blue eye opened. It was Charlie's, and there were sags under his eyes. He looked sick.

He had stupidly, terribly, horribly traded Locke his drugs in return for a guitar.

Charlie was playing the guitar, but his hands were shaking really, really badly. He was struggling to play the chords that once came so naturally to him. He paused in his song long enough to throw up. When he finished, he wiped sweat off of his forehead. Charlie noticed that people were avoiding him. Especially women. He blushed as people scampered past him quickly. He wondered if Kate still thought he had an eating disorder.

See, kids, Charlie was experiencing something called _withdrawal_. He was experiencing this because after years of drug use he had abruptly stopped. That was because of Locke. Poor, agitated Charlie didn't know Locke was helping Charlie overcome his addiction. Charlie just knew that he felt sick, and he'd never felt this was while he was on drugs.

Locke walked past him just as Charlie's fingers did a spastic, uncontrollable motion over the guitar strings. Charlie swore, crying. Locke smiled.

"Hey, Charlie. Wanna take a walk with me? Get a little fresh air?" he asked. Charlie turned his bloodshot eyes in John's direction.

"No, John, I would _not _like to take a walk with you right now. In fact, I really don't feel like having anything to do with you. Forever." Locke just kept on smiling.

"Alright than, Charlie. I'll see you around, then?" he asked. Charlie just glared at him. Locke chuckled as Charlie's hands spazzed out again. He walked away.

Meanwhile, on the beach, Jack was trying to get Kate to move to the caves with him.

"Please, sweetie. I can't bear being away from you, Kate." Kate gave him a look.

"Than why don't you move to the beach, Jack?" she asked. Jack raised his eyebrows, shocked.

"Well, first off, Kate, I _found_ the caves. I _have _to live in them. Why don't _you_ want to?" Kate avoided Jack's pleading eyes. Why didn't he realize that she was afraid of the skeletons! Why didn't she just tell him! Oh, Jack and Kate...

"Jack, I just can't. I'm sorry," she said. Jack sighed. He kissed Kate lightly on her hand and trekked back to the caves. Kate cried for a bit. Then she noticed Sawyer doing something strange. She hopped up.

Sawyer was in the makeshift medical tent installing bookshelves. Kate stared at him for a minute, then cleared her throat. He whipped around.

"Oh! Hi there, Kate. I'm just makin' this into a library." Kate's mouth dropped open. The tent looked fantastic. It was ten times the size it used to be, and there was a carpet, air conditioning, couches, computers, even a book drop.

"Whoa... How'd you do this so fast, Sawyer?"

Sawyer shrugged.

"I'm a hardworker. Hufflepuff, you know." Kate laughed.

"I'm a Gryffindor," she said. Sawyer raised his eyebrows.

"I _do _like tough girls!" he joked. Kate giggled. She slowly walked up to him. Sawyer grinned, his wonderful dimples shining brightly. Kate grinned, too.

"So... can anyone use this place?" she asked him, close enough to stroke his neck. She did so. Sawyer nodded.

"I wouldn't even _think_ of depriving anyone of books. That would just be cruel. I like to consider myself a good person," he said softly, stroking a strand of Kate's brown hair away from her face.

"You _are _a nice person. Very, _very _nice, Sawyer," she breathed. They moved close enough to kiss.

"So are you, Freckle... You're..." Their lips almost touched, but just then Boone walked in on them.

"I _do_ love lie berries," he said loudly. Kate and Sawyer hastily broke apart. Sawyer glanced nervously at Kate, who was looking at the red carpet. Sawyer scratched his neck awkwardly and walked up to Boone.

"Do you want a book, Boone?" he asked. Boone nodded.

"Yes, please. I would like _Twilight_. It was written by... a lady, I guess." Sawyer nodded and walked over to the tallest bookshelf.

Meanwhile, in the jungle, Charlie was going for a walk. As long as he wasn't with Locke, he liked fresh air. He normally loved it, actually, but he wasn't exactly much chop at walking at the time being. He kept tripping.

After the third time he'd tripped, he heard a faint beeping noise behind him. He looked around, just as he heard a sudden trampling noise. His eyes widened as he saw five boars running right at him. Charlie screamed, crossed himself, and started running as fast as he possibly could in the other direction.

_FLASHBACK_

_Charlie was doing confession in the Catholic church that he went to._

_"Bless me Father-"_

_"...for I have sinned. BLAH BLAH BLAH. Who cares, it's always the same, isn't it? I'm getting sick of hearing this stuff, boy." Charlie blushed._

_"Sorry..."_

_"You should be! Now get outta my church!" Charlie scampered out, but just he was about to run through the doors he noticed Liam sitting there on the floor of the church. He looked much to pleased with himself to have anything good to say. Plus, Liam's shirt had a swear word on it. Kind of a bad thing to wear to a church, Charlie thought._

_"Baby brother!" said Liam. Charlie stopped to catch his breath. _Not _to listen to his brother._

_"Liam."_

_Liam held up a piece of paper._

_"The recording contract! We got it! We're gonna be bloody rock gods!" Charlie and Liam left the church to carry on their conversation. "WE'RE GONNA BE BLOODY ROCK GODS!" Some nuns that were walking by glared at Liam._

_"Watch your language, Li! About the rock god thing... I'm quitting the band." They were now at the part of the church that was Oxford University, and Liam stopped really suddenly, staring at Charlie._

_"WHAT? Baby brother, this is our job! This what we've been working at for freakin' YEARS!" Charlie bit his lip and looked away._

_"Li, I got kicked out of confession earlier. I can't keep doing this stuff... I wanna be a good person, not a bloody..." A nun walked by. "Not a... bad... person. You know?" Liam stared at Charlie._

_"You got kicked out of confession? Is that even possible!" Charlie shrugged. "Okay, Charlie, listen. We'll quit if we become... 'bad... people'. Okay? Just please, please, don't leave now. Baby brother, you're the only one in the band that can play piano, and bass, and write good songs, and sing consistently on key. You can't ruin this for me and Sinbad and Patrick just because you have no bloody self control."_

_Charlie looked away again. "I have self control, Li."_

_"Really? You were kick out of confess-"_

_"Okay, okay! I get it... I'll do it for the music. But if things get to crazy... if we become heroin addicts or something like that, then we back off. We quit. Okay?" Charlie looked his older brother in the eyes. Liam grinned._

_"We quit!" Charlie grinned back._

_"I'm gonna be a BLOODY ROCK GOD!" he yelled. Liam nodded._

_"My baby brother's gonna be famous!" Liam picked Charlie up and swung him around a bit, laughing. He set him down gently and tagged him. "YOU'RE IT, BABY BROTHER!" Charlie and Liam ran around like maniacs, tagging each other and knocking over freaky brain-fried professors with crazy hair and beards. _

_Charlie ran as fast as he could to get Liam._

Back in present time, Charlie ran as fast as he could to get away from the stampeding boars. Not looking where he was going, he ran right into a net. It closed up on him and he was stuck hanging from a tree. The boars scattered into the jungle.

Suddenly, Locke walked up to the net, smiling.

"I can't believe you ran right into my trap, Charlie."

Charlie glared at him. _If looks could kill_... Locke would be dead. Locke laughed and cut Charlie down. He fell in a heap onto the ground. He cried and looked up at Locke with confusion and hatred.

"Why'd you set up a bloody trap for me, John?" Locke chuckled.

"Just to see if you could get caught in a boar trap. You _did _get caught, so Sayid owes me ten dollars." Charlie gaped at Locke.

"You're _evil._ Gimme my drugs back!" Locke shook his head.

"Charlie, lets make a deal. You can ask for your drugs _three times_. Every time you ask for them I will kill someone. The last time you ask for them, you'll _get_ them, but if you _use_ them, I will kill the _you_. Oh, by the way, this was the first time... someone will be dying soon."

Charlie stared open-mouthed at the Bald. That was so completely horrible. Charlie didn't want people dying just because of his inability to survive without drugs!

Locke, who noticed Charlie's inner struggle, laughed just as Charlie experienced a convulsion due to the withdrawal. When he was done dangerously convulsing, Charlie threw up. Locke, disgusted, left the helpless Charlie lying on the jungle floor.

"Wait, John!" Charlie yelled. Locke looked back at him.

"What?"

"Why don't you just throw the drugs away if you don't want me to have them!" Locke smirked.

"You have to gain the strength to get rid of them yourself, Charlie you hopeless case. _You have to help yourself up._" He walked off.

Meanwhile, on the beach, Sayid had another one of his plans. So, like he did whenever he had a plan, he called Kate.

"KATE COME HERE!" he yelled. Kate looked up from the quilt she had been stitching and ran over to Sayid at her Top Speed.

"What is it Sayid? Do you have a plan?" she asked. Sayid nodded.

"I'm going to triangulate the French signal by setting up three antennae and turning them on one after another. We will know when to set them off by using bottle rockets that shoot up really high in the sky."

Kate nodded like the plan made complete sense, while she was thinking "_What the heck?_". Whatever, Sayid's plans always seemed to work.

"Do you need batteries, Sayid?" Sayid nodded. He _always_ needed batteries. "I can get some from Sawyer's stash if you want." Kate just wanted more time with Sawyer. She was attracted to him despite the fact that she was engaged to the doctor... there was just something about him.

"Yes, sure, just get me batteries. Go, quickly!" Kate scampered off.

She found Sawyer sitting next to his stash.

"Hey, Sawyer..." Sawyer looked up.

"Hiya, Freckle... what can I do you for?" Kate grinned.

"Got any batteries in that stash of yours?" she asked him, poking his nose. Sawyer playfully brushed away her hand.

"I sure do, Katie..." he reached into his stash and got out some batteries. Kate grinned.

"Thanks Sawyer... you're great." She sat down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Sawyer smiled, but looked worried for some reason.

"I really like you Kate..."

"I really like you, Sawyer..." She leaned closer. Sawyer swallowed.

"Kate, I have something important I need to tell you before... we get too serious..." Kate leaned away.

"What is it, Sawyer?" she asked.

"Would you still like me if I told you something important?" he asked, looking afraid.

"Yes, of course..." Sawyer gulped some air down his throat. Kate looked at him expectantly. "Well, what is it!" She was getting kind of annoyed at him.

"Kate... I'm a murderer." Kate stared at him. She stood up quickly, and ran off. "Kate, wait!" Sawyer stood up and ran after her, but she was too far away.

Sawyer wiped away some tears, wishing that he'd never killed the man... He also wished that he'd never told Kate about him being a murderer, but he just couldn't allow her to go on thinking he was a good person. He sat down, got out his mysterious letter, and sobbed into his hands.

...

_"I'm an acorn small and round,_

_Lying on the cold, hard ground._

_No one wants to pick me up,_

_'Cause I'm such a little nut._"

Charlie was singing to himself as he lay on the ground like a lump. It was quite uncomfortable. He wanted his drugs so much. He _loved _his drugs... well not really. He kind of hated them, too. He didn't like using them and being addicted and having the possibility of being killed by them, but he did like getting high. Kind of. Whatever. He just wanted them gone so he could get over them already.

Slowly, inch by inch, he started lifting himself up off the ground. He was almost up all the way when he convulsed and landed on the ground again. He swore loudly.

Suddenly, Sawyer walked through some bushes and trees and pushed himself into the clearing.

Sawyer looked more dirty than he had the last time Charlie had seen him, and more tired, and he was wearing different clothes. Plus, Charlie didn't like the way Sawyer was looking at him- it looked like a mixture of pity and remorse.

"Well, what are you bloody standing there for, can't you see I need help!" Charlie was sick of everyone's disgust if him.

Sawyer looked like he was going to turn away. Charlie swore. "Come _help _me, Sawyer!" The sound of his name seemed to trigger something in Sawyer and he walked over to help Charlie.

"Are you... okay?" Sawyer asked. Charlie glared at him.

"Do I look like I am?" Suddenly, Locke walked through the bushes also. He, too, had changed his clothes.

"What is it Sawyer? Oh! Hello, Charlie. We should _go_ now James." Charlie glared at Locke with extreme hatred.

"You can't just run away from me, John! We need to have a bloody talk!" Locke did his insincere smile at Charlie, but Sawyer looked on the verge of tears.

"Sorry, Charlie, we have to go now. We're rather busy." Charlie glared at Locke.

"Who are you gonna try to kill, Locke? Can you at least tell me _that_?" Charlie didn't want someone to die just because Locke was crazy and murdered people for fun. Locke paused for a moment before replying.

"What day is it, Charlie?" Charlie stared at him. Locke. was. _insane_.

"I don't know... Umm Friday, I think... Jack named today The Moff for some reason. _Now_ will you answer my question?" Locke's face lit up, like he finally knew what was going on. Sawyer stared at them, and looked horrified.

"No, Charlie, you'll find out who I'm going to kill in due time. Now we _really _must be going now," Locke said. Sawyer forced a grin and waved at Charlie as they walked off. Charlie hurried after them.

"Guys, please... I'm sorry, Locke... don't kill someone, _please_ don't." Sawyer was now staring at Locke.

"He won't, Charlie. Don't worry." Sawyer looked at Charlie briefly. "Nice talkin' to you... thank you." Suddenly, Sawyer and Locke were looking up at the sky. Sawyer swore, Locke smiled, and they ran into some bushes. When Charlie ran after them, they weren't there.

Huh. Weird. Charlie was even more upset now than had been before..

...

Later, Jack was in the caves moving around bags and crates and boxes and stuff. He was angry at Kate for being so mean to him. He was a famous spinal surgeon! How could anyone _not _want to be with him?

Kate had told Jack that she wouldn't leave him for Sawyer, but Jack was starting to doubt that. What he needed was another doctor. He needed to fall in love with a lady doctor, that way he could be truly happy. _Just wait until season three_, he thought to himself.

Jack was just about to lift up a particularly heavy bag when Charlie came into the caves.

"DANG IT!" Jack yelled. Charlie was followed by Hurley. "DANG IT DANG IT DANG IT DANG IT."

The double trouble walked up to Jack. Charlie looked ill, and Hurley looked happy for the first time in weeks.

"What do you guys want?" Jack snapped, not in the mood to deal with these two. Charlie stared at the ground, so Hurley did the talking.

"We're here to help you move that bag." Jack shrugged.

"Fine, let's speed this up, than." Together they lifted up the heavy bag. While they walked it across the caves, Jack looked over Charlie trying to see what virus he had.

_Maybe the flu? Nah..._ They set the bag down rather carelessly and all the prescription drugs that were inside tumbled out onto the cave's hard floor. Hurley made a noise of disgust, but Charlie gasped happily. Jack moved closer to Charlie, wondering what was wrong with him. It wasn't that he cared at all about the young man, but he was a doctor and was therefore very curious. He rubbed his stubble.

Hurley sauntered off, but Charlie kneeled down and started fumbling around with all the drugs. Suddenly Jack knew what was wrong with him, and hastily grabbed all the prescriptions away from Charlie.

"Hey!" Jack glared at Charlie and took the bag and threw it across the cave. Charlie watched it fall on the ground ten feet away. "Jack, why'd you do that?"

Jack cleared his throat. "If you're planning on using those as a substitute for some other substance, Charlie, _do not_. Abusing prescription drugs is extremely deadly... it's a growing trend with idiots these days."

Charlie gaped at Jack. "You're assuming things there, Jack." Jack rolled his eyes.

"Okay, lil' bugger, whatever you say." He marched away to go sit in a little part of the caves by himself and have a whiny internal monologue about Kate. Good thing this isn't a Jack episode because than you'd have to listen to all of it. Charlie glared at him for a second, than made a quick decision. Looking at Steve, who was helping him clean up the pills, he excused himself.

"Sorry, somefing's come up." He marched over to the cave where Jack was sitting and took a deep breath. "Hey, Jack?"

Jack looked up and groaned. "What _now_? What do you want _now, _littleboy?"

That was the breaking point for Charlie.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE TREAT ME LIKE A BLOODY CHILD?" he yelled. Jack stared. "I CAN DO STUFF, I HAVE SKILLS TOO!"

Jack cleared his throat. "Charlie, calm down."

"ALL OF YOU PEOPLE BLOODY HATE ME! WHY WHY WHY WHY! OFF THIS BLOODY ISLAND I HAVE ADMIRERS! I'M FAMOUS, TOO, JACK!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "That's cool... um... okay?"

"_I'M A BLOODY ROCK GOD!_" Just as Charlie yelled those last few words, there was a humongous explosion and an insincere chuckle. The caves started crumbling in onto the two men! Charlie looked up at the horrible sight and ran out as fast as he could.

But Jack, the doctor, the de facto leader, the survivors only hope, did not get out. He was crushed by falling rocks, trapped in a cave-in.

They were doomed.

...

Kate and Sayid had the antennae, and they were going on a walk into the jungle to set it up."Hey, Sayid, have you ever been in love?" Kate asked, out of the blue. Sayid nodded.

"Yes. _Oh, Nadia_..."

"Are you married?" she asked

Sayid shook his head. "I _want _to be." They walked on together, shoulder to shoulder, in silence, until Kate broke it again.

"I'm engaged to Jack..." Kate told Sayid. Sayid raised his eyebrows.

"How long have you known him? A week?" he asked her. Kate shrugged.

"I love him... but than there's Sawyer." Sayid nodded.

"Yes, I hate Sawyer, too. I wish he hadn't been on the plane." Kate looked surprised.

"No, I meant that I _liked_ Sawyer!" she said. Sayid's eyes widened.

"But you're engaged!" he exclaimed. Kate shrugged again.

"I know... It's complicated." Sayid shook his head.

"_Americans_..."

Meanwhile, on the beach, Boone had agreed to help Sayid and Kate. He was going to set off one of the bottle rockets.

Suddenly, though, he had the urge to abandon his post. _I need to have fun!_ he thought. So he walked up to Shannon, his lovely sister.

"Hey, Shan." Shannon looked up.

"Hello, Boone."

"Shannon you have to set off the bottle rocket thing later at sun down just because okay I've gotta run 'k thanks bye." Boone ran off, leaving a confused Shannon sitting on the beach.

Just than, Charlie ran onto the beach, covered in dirt and rock parts. Sawyer looked up.

"Charlie, are you alright?"

Charlie caught his breath.

"There was a cave in! Jack... he's trapped... Probably dead... where's Kate?" Sawyer looked worried.

"She went off to do one of Sayid's plans just minutes ago!" he exclaimed in shock, "What caused the cave-in!"

Charlie shrugged. He secretly suspected it was Locke. "I dunno... Shouldn't someone save him?" Sawyer nodded.

"Someone needs to tell Kate! She and Jack are engaged!"

"Well... what do we do?" Charlie asked. Sawyer thought quickly of a plan.

"I'll go tell Kate, because I'm pretty fast and I think I can probably catch up to her... We need to gather a group of people to go rescue Jack... If I wanna catch up to Kate I better leave now! Why don't you gather the group, Charlie?"

Charlie felt happy that he was being included in a plan, but just then Steve walked up.

"Hey, I can gather up the group of people. I used to be a construction worker and can help lead a rescue team to dig Jack out!" Charlie stared at him. Just then Michael also ran up.

"I also used to be a construction worker, mans! I can help, too." Sawyer nodded.

"Alright, you two can go gather a group. Run, quickly! We have to save Jack!" Steve and Michael ran off. Charlie looked at Sawyer for a moment, angry that he had let them steal his job.

"I thought you didn't like Jack?" he asked. Sawyer shrugged.

"Saving him is the right thing to do. I can't let my silly grudge get so out of control that I let him die. See you around, Oliver Twist!" And Sawyer ran off.

Charlie stood on the beach, alone. He felt useless.

_FLASHBACK_

_Liam and Charlie were standing on a stage, holding their musical instruments. There were tons of screaming fans in the crowd. Charlie loved the good attention, and listened to the crowd happily._

_"LIAM I LOVE YOU!"_

_"DRIVE SHAFT ROCKS!"_

_"LIAM, I'M HAVING YOUR BABIES!"_

_"GO LIAM, YOU'RE AWESOME!" Charlie smiled down at the clusters of young people who were lusting for his brother's body, and he shook his head sexily. He looked up as Liam walked up to the mic, and cleared his throat. The crowd got ever so slightly quieter._

_"I'm glad you guys have liked our performance so far!" There were screams of agreement. "Well, now we're almost done, and we thought we'd top this thing off with our hit single, You All Everybody!"_

_The fans cheered louder. Liam was very happy with the attention. He smiled down at Charlie._

_"See? WE'RE BLOODY ROCK GODS!" The fans cheered so loud that Charlie's ears hurt. Liam gave a signal o the rest of the band to start playing. "Rock and roll, man!" _

_The fans got quieter as they started the song. Liam sang first, as usual._

_"I walk around my town,_

_Watch the people come and go,_

_I watch them up and down,_

_And I see what they don't know,_

_They have given up on me,_

_I can see it in their eyes,_

_Well, I have given up on you,_

_And I think you should realize..." _

_It was time for the chorus. Charlie started to sing._

_"You all, everybody!_

_You all everybody!_

_I don't like you stupid people_

_Wearing expensive clothes!"_

_Something was wrong... Liam was singing it too! This was Charlie's part, what was Liam doing!_

_"You all everybody!_

_You all everybody!_

_You all everybody." _

_Charlie glared at Liam. He had completely stolen the spotlight! Now it was Patrick's turn to sing. _

_"I know you see what I have been,_

_And compare with what I am,_

_But I don't care now what you've seen,_

_I'm just doing what I can!" _

_Again, Liam was stealing the spotlight. Patrick looked confused. He tried to sing louder, but Liam also raised the volume and got louder than the crazy drummer._

_"YOU SAY YOU'VE GIVEN UP ON ME,_

_AND YOU SAY IT LIKE I SHOULD CARE,_

_WELL, I HAVE GIVEN UP ON YOU,_

_AND NO, I DON'T WANT TO 'SHARE'!" _

_Now it was Charlie's turn again. He glared at Liam, hoping to get his turn. But no such luck. Liam completely drowned Charlie out._

_"YOU ALL EVERYBODY!_

_YOU ALL EVERYBODY!_

_I DON'T LIKE YOU STUPID PEOPLE_

_WEARING EXPENSIVE CLOTHES!_

_YOU ALL EVERYBODY! YOU ALL EVERYBODY!" _

_By now, Liam was the only one singing because the rest of the band had given up. The crowd noticed._

_"LI-AM! LI-AM! LI-AM! LI-AM!" they shouted. Charlie kept on playing his bass, glaring at Liam with all his might._

_"You all everybody!_

_And will you get the message now?_

_When I cross my heart and shout it out damn loud!_

_YOU ALL EVERYBODY! _

_YOU ALL EVERYBODY!_

_I DON'T LIKE YOU STUPID PEOPLE_

_WEARING EXPENSIVE CLOTHES!_

_YOU ALL!_

_YOU ALL EVERYBODY!_

_You all everybody! Yeah, you all everybody." _

_The crowd screamed and shouted louder than ever before. Teenagers jumped around crazily, trying to get to the stage, to get to Liam. Liam laughed and spoke into the mic._

_"Thanks, this has been a great night! I love you guys!" There were screams of joy. "Have a nice rest of the night! Drive safely, or hell, don't, I don't care! Thanks for coming, you're awesome!" The crowd was hurting Charlie's ears, even though he was wearing earplugs. He reached over to the mic and pulled it close._

_"Do drive safely, please! Don't want anybody to get hurt!" The one person in the crowd that was a Charlie Fan screamed in pleasure, as well as the police, who had come to check out all the noise, but they were drowned out by Liam's fans._

_"LI-AM! LI-AM!"_

_"DON'T WORRY, I'LL DRIVE RECKLESSLY FOR YOU!"_

_"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, LIAM!_

_"LIAM, YOU ARE IRRESISTIBLY SEXY, MAN!"_

_Later, backstage, during the party, Charlie marched up to Liam._

_"What. The. Bloody. Hell. Is wrong with you!" he yelled. Liam grinned._

_"What did I do now, Baby Brother?" Charlie stared at him._

_"You completely stole the spotlight, you idiot! _I_ sing the chorus to You All Everybody!" Liam smiled again._

_"Oh, that... I was just caught up in the moment! Come on, gimme a break. You did great!" He patted Charlie on the back and walked off to a sexy brunette._

_The girl gave Liam a flirty smile, and a little film canister. Liam took it greedily, and opened it up._

_Suddenly, everything became slow motion as Liam smiled and held up a little bag of drugs. Charlie stared._

_Liam saw Charlie looking, and in slow motion, he shook the bag a little. "Chill, Baby Brother..." Charlie just stood and stared as Liam went out the door with drugs and the girl._

_OH NO._

_..._

Back in real time...

Sawyer was running through the jungle as fast as he could. He couldn't seem to find Kate and Sayid anywhere! He swore angrily.

Suddenly, he ran right into someone's back. He yelled out it shock.

Sayid turned around quickly, to see who had run into him. His face turned magenta when he saw it was Sawyer.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, REDNECK!" he yelled. Sawyer caught his breath, and smiled.

"There you are. Hey Kate!" Kate, who was standing next to Sayid, looked away from Sawyer and blushed.

"Sawyer, why are _you _here?" she asked rudely. Sayid nodded.

"Yes, Sawyer, why _are_ you here? On second thought, don't tell us... I hate your voice." Sayid and Kate kept walking. Sawyer ran up to them.

"I have an important message for you guys, though!" Sayid cringed at his voice and waved him away. Kate blushed again.

"Please, Sawyer... can you go? Please?" she asked. Sawyer was a little insulted. Sayid suddenly stopped the group at a very tall tree.

"Perfect! Okay, Kate, you put your bottle rocket at this tree. I have to go find a place for mine, and the antennae. Be careful around Sawyer, and whatever you do, don't trust him!" Sayid stomped off, leaving Kate and Sawyer alone again. Kate cleared her throat and started setting up the rocket.

"You would never act this way around Jack," Sawyer said. Kate looked at him.

"Sawyer, you're right. I wouldn't. I _love _Jack." Sawyer looked away.

"You love me, too... don't you." It wasn't a question, and Kate blushed yet again.

"I don't know... look, Jack is worth seven of you. He'd never murder anyone!" Sawyer gasped at her.

"Dying Guy..." he muttered. Kate wrung her hands in confusion and frustration.

"Sawyer, just stop! I barely know you!" Sawyer smiled slightly.

"You hardly know Jack."

"You're actually comparing yourself to Jack?" Kate asked. Sawyer was truly hurt this time.

"Well..." Sawyer had forgotten all about the cave-in.

The people at the caves, though, hadn't. Steve had gotten Michael, Walt, Sun, Jin, Rose, Hurley, and Boone to help dig Jack out. They weren't doing very well though.

"DIG! DIG! DIG!" yelled Steve as he whipped them. The people dug, but they were missing the five good athletes: Jack was trapped, Kate and Sayid were setting up antennas, Locke was nowhere to be found, and Sawyer was looking for Kate and Sayid.

"HELP ME!" They heard Jack yell from inside the caved-in caves. "I'M DYING HERE!"

Meanwhile, Charlie was looking for Locke. He found him in the middle of the jungle, skinning a turkey.

"Eww... where'd you get a _turkey_?" Charlie asked as he walked up. Locke smiled.

"In the jungle. Don't you like turkeys?" Charlie shrugged.

"As pets, yeah... but I don't like eating them. It's cruel to pick on helpless animals." Locke smiled.

"Says a helpless animal," he said. Charlie stared.

"I am _not_ a helpless animal! ...Listen, Locke, can I please, please, pleasepleaseplease have my drugs back?" Charlie wiped some sweat off his face and collapsed onto the ground, whimpering. Locke chuckled.

"Yes you are! Just look at yourself!" Charlie looked at himself, confused. He was wearing his striped shirt, his rainbow hoodie, and some zebra-striped jeans. His face was dirty and sweaty and ill-looking, and his fingers were caked with mud. Charlie didn't think he resembled a helpless animal. He looked quite fashionable, really.

"I look fine!" he said. Locke shook his head and pointed at the ground.

"Charlie, look at this cocoon." Charlie looked at the humongous cocoon, big enough to fit a human inside. He hadn't seen that a minute ago! His face blanched with fear as it started wriggling. "Inside this cocoon there is a moth man. I made a deal with him that I would let him out... but I won't."

"WHY NOT! You're the meanest person on earth!" Locke frowned.

"I won't let him out because you asked for your drugs again, duh! He'll be the second casualty, Charlie._ Unless he can get out on his own_... then he won't have to die. Do you understand?" Charlie shook his head, his eyes looking blank and uninspired. Locke sighed. "Have you ever heard the Little Acorn song, Charlie?"

Charlie nodded. "My dad used to sing it to me and my big _bother_, Liam," he said, rolling his eyes. Locke smiled.

"Good. Do you know the story that goes with it?"

"By heart." Charlie recited it for Locke, and Locke smiled wider.

"Do you know what the lesson in that story is?" he asked. Charlie opened his mouth to respond, but closed it quickly. He shook his head. Locke looked very frustrated.

"CHARLIE, darn it, I'm _not _going to teach you this lesson. I'm not gonna help you! You have to help yourself!" Locke turned around and stormed off, leaving Charlie alone with a dead turkey and a struggling moth man.

Suddenly, the moth man ripped open the cocoon and sprung out. He was rather frightening.

Charlie stared at it, unable to look away. The moth man smiled.

"Hi, uh, I'm Joe, the moth man. I gotta run! See you around!" he fluttered off into the sky.

Charlie was gonna have nightmares for months.

...

At the caves, Steve had gotten out a drill. Everyone stepped back as Steve drilled a hole randomly into the rocks. It was too small for Jack to fit through, though, plus Jack had told them that he was trapped under a rock. Steve was about to make the tunnel bigger when suddenly Boone got out a rock and started whacking the drill with it.

"WHAT THE HECK!" yelled everyone else. Boone smiled at the broken drill.

"I'm an impulsive guy, what are all your problems for?" he asked. He walked away, wanting to destroy more things. Steve swore loudly.

"This is SO inconvenient. Okay, we're gonna need a smallish person to slip through the hole. Any takers?" he asked. Jin frowned.

"SPEAK KOREAN! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU!" He swore in Korean.

Meanwhile, in the jungle, Sawyer said a Southern swearword. Kate looked up from the quilt she was stitching.

"What, Sawyer? Did you forget something?" she asked. Sawyer nodded.

"Yeah, something important, too," he said, and Kate looked curious.

"What did you forget?" Sawyer looked pityingly at Kate.

"It's Jack... Kate, I'm sorry, but I think he's dead." Kate stared, wide-eyed, not even laughing at the thought of death like she normally did.

"WHAT!" she screamed. Sawyer looked away and awkwardly scratched his neck.

"There was a cave-in... and he was trapped... People are trying to dig him out." Kate got up right away and ran off to the caves.

...

Charlie was walking around randomly, when he realized he was actually going back to the caves. _Oh well_, he thought to himself. Might as well go take a nap. Maybe when he woke up he'd feel better?

He tried to skip gleefully to the caves but the withdrawal had messed up his coordination. _Oh well_, he thought to himself.

Eventually, he made it to the caves. But there were a lot of people there for some reason. Digging.

Oh yeah, the cave-in! Charlie went over to see if he could help out at all. He was tired of being useless. Steve smiled when he saw Charlie.

"Oh, good! Another helper! Hi Charlie," he said. Charlie smiled.

"Hey guys... can I help you at all?" Steve was about to shake his head when suddenly, he had an idea.

"Charlie! How tall are you?" Charlie stared at him.

"Wha?" Steve kept looking at Charlie, than at the hole in the rocks. Michael started measuring the hole, catching onto Steve's idea quickly.

"How tall are you!" Charlie thought for a moment.

"5'8". Why?" Michael showed the measurements to Steve, who then smiled.

"Perfect!" Steve looked around at all the helpers. All of them, with the exception of Walt and Sun alone, were bigger than Charlie. Steve couldn't communicate to Sun, though, because she was Korean, and there was no way that Walt would be allowed to go through the tunnel. Plus, they both had important loved ones. Jin and Michael would be horrified to lose them.

But Charlie didn't have anyone, at least not on the island, so Steve could send him in without feeling too bad. Too bad they didn't have Kate, though, because she was both smaller and more athletic. She would be the perfect choice. Steve clapped his hands together.

"Charlie, we need you to climb through that tunnel to go save Jack. He's trapped under a rock. We need you to get the rock off of him, and then wait for us to dig you out. 'K?"

Charlie nodded without a second thought. Of course he would save the doctor! He wanted to help out.

Charlie climbed over to the tunnel and squeezed himself in, singing to himself to calm his nerves.

"_There once was a doodle bug,_

_His name was Jake,_

_He lived on bananas _

_And chocolate cake."_

It was a strange song choice, not by Drive Shaft, like almost all the songs Charlie sang to himself... Charlie kept on climbing through the tunnel, remembering his struggle to be a good Catholic boy while at the same time trying to be a bloody rock god.

_FLASHBACK_

_Backstage, at a different concert than in the last flashback, Charlie was grumpy. He wasn't eating any of the ham that was being served, and he wasn't carrying around girls like all the other members of the band._

_This time, it was before the concert, and Liam was nowhere to be found. If Charlie didn't find him soon, they'd be without a lead guitarist. _

_"LIAM!" he yelled. Patrick drunkenly stumbled into Charlie, dropping several skimpily dressed gals. Charlie hopped over the girls. "LIAM?"_

_"Sorry, Charlie..." slurred Patrick. He picked up the groupies, who looked bored out of their minds. Charlie swore._

_"LIAM WHERE ARE YOU!" Sinbad shuffled over to Charlie._

_"Didja say Liam? Iam id mumchf nivl..." Sinbad always mumbled and was impossible to understand, so Charlie kept walking. WHERE WAS HIS BROTHER!_

_He saw a girl standing alone, crying. Charlie ran up to her._

_"Hey, do you know where Liam is?" he asked. She cried harder at the sound of his name. "What's the matter... um, what's your name?"_

_"Karen!" she sobbed. Charlie patted her back nervously._

_"So, yeah... where's Liam?" Karen pointed to the door that had the sign that said "LIAM'S HANGOUT" on it. Charlie blushed. _

_"Your brother sucks, by the way. I'm never gonna make out with scum like him ever again," Karen said. She stomped away. Charlie nervously pushed through the door._

_Liam was sitting on a couch, drinking and drugging with some groupies, who looked bored._

_"Hey Charlie! Come grab a girl and let's drug!" Liam said. Charlie shook his head in disgust._

_"Liam, we've got a concert in half an hour! We need to do a soundcheck! What the heck are you doing just sitting around?" Liam laughed a hollow laugh._

"_I'm havin' fun, baby brother. Why don't you try it some time?" Charlie swore under his breath._

_"Liam, get up! You're ruining Drive Shaft! We're... we're musicians, not druggies!"_

_"Maybe _you're_ a 'musician', but _I'm _a rock god, Charlie. You can go on writing all our songs, singin' 'em and stuff, but no one even knows who the bloody bass player is! They just know me. 'Cause I'm a rock god an' you're a lil 'musician'!" _

_Charlie stared at him. Even though Liam was severely under the influence, his short, disjointed monologue had still hurt Charlie's feelings._

_"LIAM, get up! Come on!" Liam stood up quickly, and the groupies fell to the floor._

_"Alright, Charlie. You think you're so perfect, being clean and all. Well let me tell you, no one knows who you are. I hear the fans every day, and the fans are yellin' 'LIAM', not Charlie. No one will bloody care if you use drugs, yer not setting a bad example an' stuff, because you're not an influence to anyone. Not a bloody soul!"_

_Charlie gaped at Liam. Liam smiled. _

_"I dare you to do drugs, Charlie." Charlie glared at Liam._

_"No way!"_

_"I double-dog dare you, baby brother... come on, have fun!" Charlie started crying._

_"But Liam... you said we'd back off..." Liam cackled loudly._

_"I lied." Liam threw Charlie a bag of drugs and stomped off triumphantly. _

_Charlie sat down on Liam's couch and opened up the bag of drugs._

_He sobbed into it. And he used the drugs._

Charlie crawled through the tunnel slowly and carefully. He could here everyone cheering him on and was happy about that... he smiled.

Personally, Charlie wasn't gonna wait for them to dig him out. He was going to uncover Jack's arm and then crawl out again and help everyone dig Jack out. It seemed like a better idea.

Suddenly, though, the walls of the tunnel started caving in on him. He yelled out in shock and crawled faster and faster.

Suddenly, he made it into the cave. It was pitch black inside, and he was trapped now, but Charlie could make out a Jack-shaped lump in the corner. He scurried over to it.

"Jack! Jack! Are you alright!" Charlie shook the lump around until he noticed that it was a rock, not Jack. _Oh well, _he thought to himself. He decided to give up.

He sang more of that Doodlebug song to himself to relax, not noticing the jerky movements coming from right beside him.

"CHARLIE DANG IT I'M RIGHT HERE!" Charlie whipped his head to the right very quickly and saw nothing. Then he whipped it to his left and saw Jack.

"Oh, hey, Jack." Jack sucked in his breath very loudly in an exasperated manner. He also did a bored and exasperated eye-roll, but Charlie couldn't see it. Jack swore.

"Charlie, my arm is crushed by a huge rock right now and I'm in loads of pain, so can you please help me!" Charlie sighed and helped Jack get out from under the rock. Jack was still in pain, though. "Charlie, my shoulder has been dislocated... Have you ever put a circle peg into a circle hole?"

Charlie nodded, confused. "Once, but most of the time I try the square pegs..."

"That is unimportant. Have you ever relocated a shoulder?" Charlie shook his head.

"Nopeity-nope-nope." Jack frowned.

"Okay, well I don't care... you're gonna learn how." Jack looked Charlie in the eye, but Charlie was not paying attention to him so Jack slapped Charlie to get his attention, causing Jack's arm even more pain. "DANG IT!"

Charlie glared at Jack and pouted.

"I don't wanna relocate your stupid shoulder, Jack," he whined. Jack did his famous bored and exasperated eye-roll.

"There's no choice, buddy," he said. Charlie groaned and put on some rhinestone studded gloves so he didn't actually have to make contact with Jack's skin.

"So, how exactly do I go about doing this, doctor?" Jack explained briefly, not even trying to mask his exasperation. In fact, he was trying to make it very obvious, but Charlie didn't care. He took detailed notes on the procedure and started studying them.

Half an hour later, Charlie knew what he had to do to help Jack. He mentally prepared himself to do it, which took another 10 minutes.

Finally, he was ready. Jack braced himself. Charlie relocated it.

It was brutal, but Charlie did it.

_FLASHBACK_

_A nice, pretty, light yellow house was looking beautiful in the sunlight. There was a small child's tricycle sitting on the porch._

_Birds flew by, singing, and a little white puppy skipped around the yard happily. A young married couple walked down the street pushing a stroller with a cooing baby inside._

_Liam Pace, now with glasses and a very neat sweater, came out onto the house's porch, and sighed in contentment. He wife, Karen, came out and stood next to him. A light breeze blew her hair around gently._

_"So... this is the life," said Liam. Karen nodded._

_"Yup. I couldn't wish for anything better." They held hands and walked back inside their fantastic home. _

_Suddenly, a motorcycle's roar disrupted the quiet of the neighborhood. The dog ran onto the porch, and the birds flew back into their trees. Some clouds moved in front of the sun._

_Charlie Pace, wearing dark jeans, his black hoodie, and his striped shirt, slid off the bike with a glare on his face._

_He took long strides up to Liam's house, while putting on some sunglasses to hide his druggie eyes. He walked up the porch, and the dog whimpered and cowered in the corner._

_Charlie rolled his eyes. "I'm not gonna hurt you, little puppy," he said, petting its head. He knocked on the door._

_There were footstep, and a moment later Karen answered the door. She stared at Charlie for a moment. Then she let out a hair curling scream and tried to close the door._

_Charlie stuck his foot out, keeping it open._

_"Wait, I'm not gonna hurt you! I'm Charlie!" _

_"I _KNOW_!" she screamed. Liam ran up to his wife to make sure she was alright._

_"Oh, thank goodness... I thought... never mind." He noticed Charlie, and gasped. "What are _you_ here for!" he asked. Karen let out a sob._

_"Make him leave, Liam, PLEASE!" she yelled. Charlie shook his head._

_"No, no, let me in! Please, I'm not gonna hurt you!" Liam frowned. _

_"Let's take this inside right now, okay? Charlie, you wait here in the foyer, Karen and I have to talk for a minute." Liam grabbed his wife's hand and they went inside together. Charlie followed them in._

_"Don't you dare touch anything!" Karen screeched at Charlie. Charlie blushed._

_"Okay, okay!" He set down the cigar case he had been contemplating stealing. "My hands are in my pockets!" Liam glared at his brother and walked into his living room with Karen. _

_Charlie waited patiently, listening in on their secret conversation._

_"... He's ruined it for us! What if he wants to stay here! We can't have him around Megan!"_

_"He's my brother, Karen! Anyway, he might be clean now! Let's just hear what he has to say!"_

_"No, Liam, you don't understand! I'm tired of hanging out around druggies! I'm done with it! I don't care that he's your brother, I am not going to allow him to be in this house!"_

_"Karen-"_

_"Please, just make him leave! It's perfect here with us and Megan, we can't let him ruin it for us!"_

_"He won't, Karry. Calm down. I'll get him out of here. If he's still using the drugs I'll get him into a rehab center, or he'll leave. If not, I see no reason why he can't stay here for a day or two!"_

_"Because, Liam, he'll be an influence for Megan, I can just tell!" Liam sighed._

_"Okay, I'll go outside and talk to him." Charlie heard footsteps and Liam came into the foyer. "Hey, baby brother!" Liam said, ruffling Charlie's hair._

_"Hey, Liam. Geez, Karen hates me." _

_"Yeah, pretty much." They walked outside and sat down at a picnic table. Charlie admired Liam's house while Liam picked up a sleeping Megan off the picnic table._

_"Why was your daughter asleep on the picnic table, Liam?" Charlie asked. Megan stirred around in Liam's arms, waking up. She looked about four years old._

_"This is where I put her to take her naps. Don't tell Karen!" Megan started whining, so Liam put her on the ground and gave her a marshmallow to make her be quiet. "So, Charlie, why are you here in Sydney, Austraila?"_

_Charlie smiled._

_"I got this phone call, Liam. From some guy named Anthony Cooper. He said that if I came to visit you, you'd wanna start the band again! He also said that if we came home on Oceanic Flight 815, than we would become internationally famous. Isn't that the best news ever!"_

_Liam gaped at his baby brother. "But... Charlie... I _don't _wanna start the band again!" he said apologetically. Now it was Charlie's turn to stare._

_"But... but... that guy said... Liam, come on! Don't be so mean! Don't you wanna be famous!" _

_"I already am, Charlie. Look around." Charlie looked around and was pleased to see paparazzi hiding in the bushes and trees, taking numerous pictures of the brothers. Liam struck a pose for the camera, then turned back to Charlie. "Charlie, I'm done rocking out and drugging and stuff, 'k?" Charlie shook his head and pouted._

_"Nuh-uh, Li." He ripped off his sunglasses dramatically. "Oh, by the way, Liam? Your daughter's adorable." Charlie patted Megan on the head and gave her a gummy worm._

_Liam glared at Charlie. "You're still using, aren't you!" The paparazzi gasped. "You're still a junkie!" Charlie shook his head frantically, but his drug stash fell out of his pocket. He picked it up quickly and hid it in his shoe, blushing._

_"Okay, Liam, I'll admit. I am using. But I still get on with my life. See, in public, my friends call my addiction my 'furry little problem', so the general public is under the impression that I just own a badly behaved rabbit. Please don't hurt me Liam. Don't tell anyone I'm a junkie. Please, please, pleasepleaseplease, I am begging you, keep it a secret!"_

_Liam frowned. "Charlie, there are great rehab clinics in Sydney. I should know! Come on, I'll sign you up today!" Charlie frowned. Megan frowned, too, to fit in. Pretty soon, all the paparazzi were frowning, as well._

_"Liam, I don't have money for rehab."_

_Liam smiled. "Neither did I, but my good friend Zac Efron paid for me. He'll pay for you, too!" Zac walked up with a smile._

_"Sure will!" _

_Charlie shook his head. "No! Sorry Liam, but I have to leave now!" His hands were shaking._

_"Wait, don't go! Please... wait... it's you furry little problem, isn't it?" Liam asked. Charlie nodded and stood up. Liam swore. Charlie swore. Megan swore, too, to fit in. Pretty soon all the paparazzi were swearing, as well. Zac swore, and then the whole neighborhood swore. Liam swore again._

_"Bye, Liam. I don't want your stupid help," Charlie said, stomping off to his motorcycle. _

_"But... I'm just looking after ya!" Liam shouted. Charlie pouted._

_"You've never looked out for me! Now good bye, Liam. I've got a plane to catch!" Charlie paused when he got to his bike. "I love you!"_

_Liam grinned. "I love you too, baby brother. Now come on, please stay, I'll get you into rehab-"_

_Liam was cut off by the noise of the motorcycle driving away. He sighed. Zac patted his back._

_"Don't be depressed, man! Look, the sun's comin' out!" It was true. Now that Charlie was gone, the peace had been restored to Liam's property._

_"Okay, Zac. Wanna play tag!"_

_"Yer on!"_

_..._

Charlie sat glumfully in the caves with Jack, confused by how he remembered things that didn't happen when he was there. _Oh well_, he thought to himself.

Jack was angry and depressed, too. They didn't talk to each other at all. Charlie was sick, and Jack was just being a grump.

Meanwhile, outside of the caves, it was sundown. At first, Sawyer didn't notice it. He was too busy reading Death Note. _I sure hope that Light is punished thoroughly, _he thought to himself, _Because even though those guys were all criminals, they didn't all deserve to die. But, _oh_! How _smart_ Light is. I wish I was that smart. I would use my powers for good, like L._

Sawyer looked up to admire the sunset, and sighed. Suddenly, he realized that he had to set of the bottle rocket! He scrambled about to do so.

He set it off, thinking of Kate, and of love itself.

On the beach, Shannon was flirting with Scott, but he remained completely unaffected by her charm. After ten minutes, Shannon was fed-up, _and _confused.

"Okay, what's up with you! Normally when I bat my eyelashes like that guys drop dead!"

Scott frowned. "I'm married. To a _wonderful_ woman. So get over yourself, young lady!" Scott stomped off, leaving Shannon close to tears. She couldn't help flirting! It was just in her nature...

She pouted at the setting sun, and thought of Boone. Boone was terribly in love with her. She wished he was here now, but he had run off away from the beach and abandoned his job.

Oh gosh, his job! Shannon ran over to the little bottle rocket and put it together as fast as possible. She set it off, relieved that she had done the job. She also felt a strange, new feeling, too. Pride, maybe? Self-worth? Maybe she was worth something, after all! She could be just as good as Kate or Claire, maybe better! But one horrible look from Scott and her new ideas were shot down right away. She wanted to cry, but she steeled herself against the pain. Like she had been doing for years, she adopted a cold, indifferent attitude.

Scott frowned at her again, and she gave him the biggest smile she could manage, and wiggled her eyebrows. Scott stormed away, and Shannon felt terrible.

Meanwhile, Sayid saw the rockets go off and grinned, surprised.

"I don't believe!" he exclaimed, "Boone did something right! Kate and Sawyer, too! Oh, Happy day!" He clapped his hands together and laughed, surprised. He set off his rocket, and started turning on his antennae happily. He was so occupied with his job that he didn't notice the creepy bald creepy man creeping up to him with a hammer.

The creep started whacking Sayid's head with the hammer, not enough to kill him, though, and then moved onto the antennae. He laughed insincerely and kicked the equipment around ruthlessly.

Sayid lay on the ground, unconscious, his plan ruined.

...

Meanwhile, in the caves, Charlie was getting really uncomfortable. He wished Jack would just talk to him already.

Jack didn't, though. He didn't speak at all, and the people digging for them outside were losing hope very quickly. Their backs hurt from being whipped repeatedly, and they were all very tired, too. Steve wished his drill still worked.

"Guys, we should give up now. They're probably dead," he said, wiping some sweat off of his forehead. Just then, Kate ran up to the group.

"No! They can't be dead! We have to get them out!" she shouted. Steve frowned at her.

"Well, Sun and I are done. Good bye, Americans." Jin grabbed Sun's arm and dragged her off further into the caves. Kate stared as Michael and Walt left, too. And then Hurley. Steve threw his whip on the ground and stomped off.

Rose walked up to Kate and patted her on the back.

"You keep digging, honey," she said. And she walked away, leaving a gigantic job all to Kate.

Inside the caves, Charlie decided to talk to Jack.

"Hey, Jack, do you think... we're gonna die?" he asked. Jack did his shakey-head grin.

"Do I think we're gonna die?" he asked. "Yes, Charlie, I do. We're using up our oxygen very quickly."

Charlie gaped at him. "Well, what are your five favorite moments of your life?" he asked. Jack stared at him.

"What!"

"Sorry, never mind..." Jack shook his head at the Drive Shaft bassist.

"You know, if we survive, you're still gonna be experiencing withdrawal, Charlie!" said Jack, trying to make Charlie want to die.

"Um, okay, but I still wanna live, Jack. The withdrawal, it will go away eventually..." Jack frowned.

"But... you're sick!"

"And I'll get better. I think... you're the doctor, will I?" Charlie stared way down deep into Jack's brownish-green eyes, and Jack couldn't bring himself to lie to the young man.

"Yes. You'll get better," Jack sighed. "I just wish that I could be more famous before I died... that I could be a movie star as well as a doctor. Everyone would love me then... even my dad, and my grumpy neighbor from across the street. Fame is the key to happiness, if there ever was one."

Charlie bit his lip. "Love is the key to happiness, Jack, not fame. When I was famous, I was... alright, I was happy, but the key to happiness lies within Claire."

"No, silly Charlie. If it's love, than it lies within me!" Charlie and Jack were quiet for a minute when they suddenly heard a strange noise from behind them. Behind them, not in front of them where everyone was digging.

"Huh. Weird," said Charlie. Jack nodded, worried.

The noise grew louder and louder. It was like a fluttering, drilling noise... and it was creepy.

Suddenly, there was a BANG! and they were staring face-to-face at a moth man. Charlie and Jack stared at it for a moment, and then they screamed together. _So this is death,_ thought Jack, upset. He felt cheated!

"Hey there, friend!" said Joe the moth man to Charlie. Charlie whimpered. Joe smiled in a friendly way. "You guys are gonna run out of air if you stay in here much longer!"

Jack nodded, rolling his eyes. "Get to the point."

"Well, I have some advice. Look behind you and _follow the spiders_." Joe dissolved into fairy dust dramatically, leaving Charlie and Jack alone. Jack looked really ticked off, but Charlie looked nonplussed.

"Okay, then... lets 'follow the spiders'!" said Jack, turning around. He gasped. Behind them there was a tiny stream of light poking into the caves, and a very, VERY long line of spiders.

Charlie turned around, too, and shuddered. "_Follow the spiders_... why couldn't it have been follow the butterflies!" He looked at Jack. "Follow me."

But the doctor was too scared to move. His biggest fear was failure, and for some reason in his mind he connected spiders directly to failing.

Charlie bravely grabbed onto Jack, wishing his gloves were thicker. He courageously pulled Jack to the light, and stuck his hand through the hole because that was all that would fit through.

Kate, who was outside digging didn't notice the gleaming rhinestone right away, but eventually they got her eye.

_Is that a glove! _she thought, running over to inspect the thing that was coming from the ground. It WAS a glove, and there was a hand inside!

"_Jack!_" she asked. She heard a muffled yell and pulled on the hand. There was a shriek of pain. "OH NO, I'm sorry!" Kate gasped. She ran over and got out the shovel.

Ten minutes later, Charlie and Jack could climb out. Jack was still shaking with fear, but Charlie looked amazingly happy, even when Kate ran over and embraced Jack and kissed him. Charlie was no longer jealous of the couple.

Kate and Jack skipped off together, leaving Charlie all alone. He sighed, and took a short nap.

LATER

Everyone was having a festive party in the caves. Charlie played the guitar for the survivors, controlling his hands only slightly more than he had been in the morning. _Oh well, _he thought to himself.

That evening, Hurley walked over to Charlie, looking shy.

"Hey, Charlie?"

Charlie looked up from his trembling fingers.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to ask... if we could be friends. Best friends. Because... what you did earlier, it was really brave and stuff and people might think I'm nicer if I'm friends with you."

"... Ah. Okay, then. We're friends." He smiled sweetly at Hurley, who hugged him.

"You rock, dude!"

"... Don't I know it." Meanwhile Jack was thinking of Kate, who was thinking of Sawyer, who was thinking of Jack. That is all.

Suddenly, the party was interrupted by the entrance of John Locke. He looked angry, and scowled at the people at the party.

"I am very disappointed in _all of you_!" he yelled. Then he smiled and helped himself to some boar meat.

The party resumed, and Charlie took that moment to go up to Locke alone. Locke was standing at the meat table. He was now eating a turkey leg.

"Ew!" said Charlie, poking the turkey. "Poor thing!" Locke chuckled.

"Yeah, oh well."

Charlie thought about what wanted to say to Locke, contemplating it carefully.

"Okay, John, I... um... I... _Can I have my drugs back, please_?" Locke grinned, and handed the bag to Charlie. Before Charlie could say anything else, Locke got out a dagger and threw it at Bob, the most annoying guy in the world.

"OH MY WORD... Some strange sort of dagger is stuck in my back. He_lllllll_p! He_lllllll_p!" Bob yelled. The party-goers swarmed around him, worried.

Locke smiled. He had a piece of turkey stuck in his teeth in a handsome way. Charlie was still kind of shocked by how John had just killed Bob without a second thought.

Charlie picked up the bag of drugs that had been torturing him all day. He opened up the top. He wanted to use them so badly. But suddenly, his hands jerked out of his control, and he dropped the drugs into the quickly spreading fire on the table of meats.

The drugs were gone. His life could move on.

EVEN LATER

Charlie was asleep on his pile of blankets, when suddenly, something fell onto his face. A small something. Than two more tiny things. And finally, a significantly larger object.

Charlie groggily rubbed his eyes, waking up. He yawned. And then gasped when he saw Joe standing above him, smiling the same smile he always wore on his face.

"You've got something on your face," the moth man laughed. Charlie felt around on his face and picked up four acorns. Three of them were tiny, but the fourth was very big. Charlie frowned up at Joe.

"What are these for?" he asked. Joe raised his eyebrows. Wait, he had eyebrows?

"Look at the name tags!"

Charlie looked at the name tags, confused. He looked at the first small one.

It said "LIAM" on it in big letters. Charlie smiled, and looked at the next tiny one.

This one said,"JACK" on it in even bigger letters. Charlie's smile got bigger, liking where this was going. He picked up the third small acorn.

It said,"LOCKE" in the biggest letters yet. Charlie chuckled.

"So... _they're_ the little acorns, huh?" he asked. Joe nodded.

"Look at the big one!" he said. Charlie picked it up, eager to see if his prediction was right. It wasn't.

The big acorn said,"Joe the Moth Man" . Charlie stared at it for a minute, then chucked it across the cave.

"Where's one with my name on it!" he asked grumpily. Joe's eyes widened. He got out a medium size nut.

"Sorry, I forgot! Well, there you are. You can keep 'em all. See ya!" And Joe flew off, to who knows where.

Charlie snuggled close to his acorn and fell asleep.

LOST DID YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON FROM THIS EDUCATIONAL EPISODE?


	6. He's Too Much

**He's Too Much**  
**A Sawyer episode**  
**RATED NC-17 for complicated cons that younglings couldn't wrap their minds around.**  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC. I just do this for fun.

Kate was walking around the beach, picking bananas and trying to think about what to do about the Jack/Sawyer situation. It was quite frustrating, because she couldn't think of a good solution to their problem without adding another girl that either Jack or Sawyer preferred to Kate. That would be perfect... unless they _both_ preferred this new girl and forgot all about Kate.

The very thought of that made Kate cry, and she ran across the beach with tears in her eyes. Suddenly, she tripped over something. She fell over onto the sand painfully.

Annoyed, she tried to find what she had tripped over. It was a book. _Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. _Kate wondered what the heck that was.

Suddenly Sawyer walked onto the beach. He had been going for a swim, it seemed, and he was only wearing his underwear. Kate gasped, staring at his marvelous body, and he blushed.

"Nice day for a swim..." he muttered, blushing again. Kate giggled.

"I bet," she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. She unbuttoned her shirt a little more and wiggled her hips. Sawyer looked away politely, pulling on some jeans. Kate frowned a playful frown. "Hey, Sawyer, what's this book about?" she asked.

Sawyer looked up to see which book it was. "Oh, _Rudolph_! It's an old classic... for Christmas. Come on, you must have at _least_ heard the _song_ before!"

Kate was confused. What song? "There's a song about this book?" she asked. Sawyer gave her a jokingly horrified look.

"You've never heard Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer before? You deprived woman!" Sawyer started singing the carol to a giggling Kate.

"You've got a killer voice, Sawyer!" said Kate, "Guys that can sing are hot!" Sawyer blushed again, and rubbed his neck uncomfortably.

"Well, I guess... um... can I please have my book back?" he asked. Kate tossed it to him, grinning. "Thanks..." Sawyer muttered. Kate nodded at him.

"You're welcome, Sawyer." She ruffled his hair and pranced down the beach, wondering why she liked him so much. Sawyer wondered why Kate was acting like this to him. One day she acted repulsed by him, but the next day she was flirting her ears off! It kind of made Sawyer angry. Women just seemed to throw themselves at him- he couldn't control them. Maybe it was his looks? He didn't think he looked all that handsome. Sure, he spent hours in the gym and ate healthful food, but so did Boone, and no one was hitting on _him_.

Sawyer personally hated himself, because he had led a dishonest career and had murdered someone before.

_FLASHBACK_

_Sawyer was lying in bed, asleep. There was a lady lying next to him. A ray of sun hit his face, and his eyes fluttered open. For a moment he seemed content, but suddenly, something caught his eye._

_He looked at the woman (who's name was Jessica), and gasped. "Son of a..." He rolled out of bed and threw on his clothes super fast. Then he walked over to her and shook her awake._

_Jessica woke up and grinned at him. "Hey, sweetheart," she slurred. Sawyer gaped at her._

_"Do I know you!" he asked. Jessica giggled._

_"Nah, but that's okay. The gals downstairs say you love one night stands?" Sawyer frowned._

_"No way! Unfortunately, this kinda thing happens all the time..." Jessica propped herself up on her elbows._

_"What kind of thing, Sawyer?" she asked. Sawyer blushed._

_"Women climb into my bed randomly like once a week, at least. But I want you to know, I refuse to engage in any inappropriate activities with them. I should start locking my doors..."_

_Jessica frowned. "Freak." She got out of bed and put on her shirt and pants, while Sawyer occupied himself with a book. Finally, she was ready to leave, and called someone on her cell phone to pick her up._

_While she was gabbing away, Sawyer's phone rang. He looked at the Caller ID. It was the mysterious Tom Sawyer, who was responsible for Sawyer's parents' death and had been controlling Sawyer's life for years, since Sawyer was eighteen. Tom got Sawyer to do things by threatening to destroy the world if he didn't do what he asked. Sawyer secretly wanted to kill Tom for revenge, and had been trying to find him for years. That was kind of hard, because the man controlled most of Sawyer's life._

_Sawyer answered the phone, using Tom's code-code name (Tom Sawyer wasn't his real name, Anthony Cooper was, but Sawyer didn't know that)._

_"Hello, bowl-full-of-jelly," said Sawyer. Tom laughed on the other end of the line._

_"Hello, James. I need you to do con number three right now. Are you with a lady?"_

_"... Yeah."_

_"Haha! You always are. Okay. Do the con! I'll call in three weeks, I expect you to have the money from the con by then. Bye!"_

_"Bye." Sawyer was used to this. He hung up the phone and sighed. "Hey Jessica?" Jessica looked over at him, ticked off._

_"Yeah?"_

_"Well... you're actually..." Sawyer swallowed. "Can you stay? I..." Jessica was smiling. _

_"Heck yeah! Of course!" Suddenly Sawyer looked at the clock._

_"SON OF A...!" he yelled. Jessica jumped up in shock. _

_"What is it?" she asked in a shrill voice. Sawyer ran a comb through his hair._

_"I've got a meeting... in two minutes!" He grabbed his briefcase full of fake money and it burst open, the money flying everywhere. Jessica gasped._

_Sawyer cleared his throat, blushing. "You weren't supposed to see that."_

_..._

Boone was on a mission. He was trying to get to Sawyer's stash without being seen. He _loved _sneaking around, and he thought that maybe if he could prove to everyone that he was good at sneaking around maybe they'd value him more.

He finally made it to the stash and rummaged through it carelessly. He was shocked to find the copy of Twilight he had been reading inside Sawyer's bag. What was it doing in Sawyer's stash! Boone had left it on the beach carelessly last night during a thunderstorm and he couldn't find it afterwords. _So that's why I couldn't find it! _he thought, _Sawyer stole it!_ This made Boone very angry.

He was grumbling to himself when suddenly, Sawyer walked out of some bushes to him. Boone's eyes widened. He quickly made up an elaborate plan to get revenge. Sawyer never should have stolen his book.

"Hey, Sawyer? Shannon has asthma. Do you have her inhaler?" he asked. (He was lying about the asthma thing).

Sawyer frowned. "She has asthma? That's too bad... Sorry, I don't have _her_ inhaler... or anyone's, I guess..." Sawyer gave a pitying smile to Boone, who glared at him.

"SAYID! SAYID! SAWYER'S BEING A MEAN LIAR GUY!" Sayid, who was on the beach, heard Boone's yells and started running to the noise. Boone quickly started punching himself, giving himself huge bruises on his face.

Sawyer stared at him, dead confused. "Boone, STOP! What are you doing!"

"Oof! Ouch!" Boone yelled as he tore at his shirt and kicked his own shins. He scratched his arm with a sharp knife. "GAAA!" Blinded by tears of pain, he shoved the dagger into Sawyer's open hands. Sawyer stared at it, paralyzed by shock. WHAT WAS BOONE DOING!

Just as Sayid ran up, Boone pretended to collapsed onto the ground with a shriek of pain. Actually, he didn't pretend to collapse: he had injured himself more than he had intended to and was actually in severe pain.

Sayid turned magenta when he saw the scene there. He looked from Sawyer to Boone with a scowl upon his face.

"SAWYER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" he shouted, loud enough for the whole island to hear.

Faraway, on the other side of the island...

"What was that?" Jacob asked his brother, Barry. Barry shrugged.

"I dunno."

Benjamin Linus had been stalking Juliet Burke at the time, and he paused long enough to listen to the yell. "Huh," he said, "That's weird."

Michael, who had been doing Walt's hair, shrieked at the loud noise, causing Walt to run off again, way into the jungle. "WAAAAAAALT!" Michael yelled, running after him.

Sayid was ready to kill Sawyer...

...

TEN MINUTES LATER

"Now, Sayid, we can't have you attacking people like that, can we?" Sayid and Boone were in the caves getting treated by Jack, who was quite disappointed in the both of them.

"Jack, do you see what he's done to Boone!" Sayid yelled. Boone whimpered. His arm was covered with bandages but he still wanted more revenge on Sawyer. Jack did his shakey head smile.

"Yeah, I saw what he did to Boone... but look at your head Sayid! There's a huge lump on it!"

"I know..."

"What's it from?" Boone asked. Sayid thought for a moment.

"Last night, someone hit me with a hammer and ruined my antennae, too."

"Oh no!" Jack exclaimed. "It seems I don't care." Everyone was bored and exhausted that day, and they didn't want to debate important issues like they normally did.

Sayid yawned. Boone whimpered more. Suddenly Jack thought of something a bit strange.

"Boone, what were you doing looking in Sawyer's stash in the first place?"

Boone smirked. He could carry out his plan after all! "Shannon has asthma and Sawyer stole and hid her inhaler."

Sayid and Jack gasped. "THAT'S HORRIBLE!" yelled Sayid. Jack nodded.

"IT _IS_!" Then they yawned. They really hadn't been getting enough sleep lately.

...

On the beach, Claire was sitting all alone. So far she had only made friends with Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Shannon, Sayid, Walt, Sun, and Scott on the island. She was still very lonely because she was normally the center of everyone's attention and on the island everyone was more interested in other people, like Jack and Locke. So Claire occupied her lonely hours by writing Jack anonymous hate mail in her journal that she would never ever send (because she was so sweet and nice, obviously).

Charlie was walking around the beach all alone. He still felt a little sick from the withdrawal, but all in all he was a lot better. He wasn't as tired, or as uncoordinated. His hands still randomly flipped out, but.

His special acorn was tucked snugly in the pocket of his denim cut-off shorts. He was wearing a tie-dye t-shirt, and green sandals. He reached into his pockets and put on his sun-glasses.

Suddenly, he saw Claire sitting there on the sand, looking beautiful. Her hair was practically glowing in the sun. Charlie jogged up to her.

"Hey... Claire, right?" It was an act. He knew her name. Claire nodded.

"Yeah, and you're that hero guy... Charlie?" she asked. Charlie was elated to be called "that hero guy", and he smiled his biggest ever smile.

"Yeah! That's me! A hero..." he said. Claire rolled her eyes and giggled a little. "Hey, you don't live at the caves, do you?" Charlie asked her.

Claire shook her head. "No, there are too many bugs in the caves... Ick!"

Charlie was mesmerized by her. "Yeah... ick!" he repeated stupidly. Claire smiled.

"Hey, um, do you wanna be friends?" she asked him. Charlie nodded very quickly, and wiped some food off of her face. Claire squinted at him. "What are you playing at, Charlie?"

Charlie blushed. "Whatever do you mean, my dear lady?" he asked, in his charming way, stroking her hair out of her face now. Claire frowned.

"Do you want to be _just friends_?" she asked, pushing away his hand. Charlie jaw-dropped at her.

"Um... Whatever you want's fine... Um... uh... Er... I have to go right now! Oh... that came out wrong... Wanna move to the caves with me?" Charlie stood up as fast as her could, uncomfortable with the situation. Which was strange, because normally he was a pro at picking up girls.

_"_No thanks. I don't like the bugs, remember?" Charlie blushed.

"Oh, yeah... ick. Well, I've gotta go."

"Bye." But he wasn't moving. He was standing there staring at her. "Um... Charlie! CHARLIE!" she yelled at him.

Charlie shook his head around. "Ugh... sorry... It was the nargles..." He walked away looking very confused, and for some reason that made Claire like him more.

_What's wrong with me?_ she wondered. _I only date geniuses!_ But she couldn't help smiling when she watched Charlie trip over Shannon's legs and apologize to her frantically. Kate, who was sitting near Claire, smiled.

"He likes you, you know," she said, making sure her quilt didn't get damaged by the sand. Claire nodded, watching Charlie munching on a banana as he tried to find the path to the caves.

"I know..." Claire said. Kate laughed.

"He's nice. We're friends," she said, and Claire nodded.

"Cool... I guess." Claire did _not _like the strange, non-bitter and non-hateful feelings she had for Charlie.

...

Jack walked across the jungle to get to the beach. He was pretty angry at Sawyer- he couldn't believe that he would risk Shannon's life like this- but at the same time he was exhausted and felt like taking a nap .

Jack hummed to himself a bit to occupy the time, because he was walking rather slowly. He wiped a bit of sweat off his forehead. Strange, red sweat.

Jack wondered why his sweat was blood red, and looked up just in case that wasn't his sweat. It wasn't. There was a bloody dagger sitting on a tree branch up above Jack's head.

"What's this?" he wondered out loud. Suddenly, Seth appeared in front of Jack and glared at him. Jack's mouth dropped open in surprise.

"Hey, Jack," said Seth. Jack frowned.

"Hey, yourself. What do you want from me now!"

"I just want to tell you... to just look through Sawyer's stuff. Okay? Because I don't want to guys torturing him for no reason or anything."

Jack decided right then and there that he would torture Sawyer just to get revenge on Seth. He didn't know that that was exactly what Seth wanted.

"'K, I'll rummage through Sawyer's stuff and definitely not torture him." And Jack spun around and stalked off to the beach.

Sawyer was sitting around, bummed out and confused. No one _ever_ liked him. What Boone had done was cruel... Sawyer started crying to himself just as Jack walked up.

"Hey wimpy man, what's up?" Jack asked, cackling when Sawyer tried to clear up his tears. He dragged Sawyer's bag out of the little box Sawyer kept it in and started rummaging in it.

"Jack, what are you doing!" asked Sawyer, flabbergasted. Jack threw his head back and let out several mean-spirited chuckles.

"Lookin' for that girl's inhaler, buddy. I'm lookin' for the inhaler."

Jack was going through the bag as fast as he could, tossing things all over.

"Jack, stop!" yelled Sawyer. "What are you doing, you idiot! Stop it!"

He tried to pull Jack away but failed because Jack was stronger. "HAHA MAYBE I WOULD STOP IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A WIMP!" Jack yelled.

Sawyer sat down and sobbed. Finally, Jack only had one more thing to toss out the bag, and it sure wasn't the inhaler.

"Huh. What's this letter, Sawyer?" he asked, pulling out a letter. Sawyer paled and stared at Jack.

"Put that down, Shephard, " he growled. Jack smirked and unfolded the letter.

"DEAR MR. SAWYER," he read loudly. Sawyer stood up, his hands balled into fists. Jack continued reading it. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM BUT I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I KNOW WHAT YOU DONE."

Jack gagged at the grammar and pulled out a pen to correct it. Sawyer walked over to Jack, angrier than he had ever been in his life.

"Give it to me, Jack. _Now_." Jack stuck out his tongue at Sawyer and started scribbling all over the letter. Sawyer let out an angry sob. "STOP!"

"_Nah nah nah nah naaah nah_." Jack laughed some more.

Sawyer got ready to smack Jack just as Kate walked in.

"Jack!" she said, "What are _you_ doing here?" Jack looked up faster than lightning. He tossed the letter down onto the floor. Sawyer rushed over to pick up his _precious_.

Jack walked over to Kate like a zombie, with his arms outstretched. He pulled her into a hug and a kiss as Sawyer put away his now damaged letter while crying.

"Jack! Get offa me!" Kate said. She jogged over to James "Sawyer" Ford and looked at him with worried eyes. "Sawyer, what happened?" she asked.

Sawyer sniffled. "Nothing, Kate. Go away." Kate gasped.

"Sawyer-"

"Please. Just go." Kate walked backwards away from him, afraid, and fell into Jack's waiting arms.

Sawyer watched miserably as his dream girl was whisked off by the one man on this island that he truly hated right now.

...

_FLASHBACK_

_Sawyer and Jessica were standing in the hotel room, staring at each other. _

_"Well...?" said Jessica. "What's with the cash, buckaroo?" Sawyer sighed._

_Before we continue, you should know what the five different kind of cons that Sawyer does are._

_The first one is called "**The Trickster**" and is just outsmarting someone in a battle of wits to get some sort of reward. Not really a con, "The Trickster" is the easiest of the five and the one that Sawyer does the most._

_The second con is called "**The Cheater**" and it's done by shortchanging someone secretly so that they don't realize they were cheated until you've fled the state and changed your name. Sawyer hates this one because he would like to be an honest person._

_The third con is called "**The Sexy Man**"and involves seducing women so much that they can't resist the urge to give you all their money. Sometimes to do this one you have to come up with a reason for them to give you the money, but most of the time that is not needed. The con man does have to make himself attractive enough for the victim to give him the money no matter what, though. This is the con that Sawyer had to do to Jessica. If you are a woman, you can do it to men, but that is usually harder to pull off. _

_The fourth con is called "**The Klutz**" and for this one you need large sums of counterfeit money. You put the funny money into a briefcase. Next, you go to the mall and "accidentally" drop it on the ground. Once the money spills all over the ground, act embarrassed. People will come check it out. Tell them that they can take some of it, because you have too much money anyway. Make sure to learn their names and addresses. Once they have taken it and are gone, secretly get rid of any extra money and the case. Wait a couple days until they get into the police beat for using counterfeit money, then turn them in and get a large reward from the police. After you get your reward of money, flee the country before you are discovered as the source of the fake money. Sawyer has only done this fifteen times because it's so hard._

_The fifth and final con is called "**The Long Con**". WARNING: To do this you need above average intelligence. Okay. For "The Long Con" you need to manipulate people, twisting around what they think, making them think the things that you want them to think, make them paranoid of the wrong things, suspicious of the wrong people. Make them trust you when they shouldn't. Do this until you get what you want. Then lather. Rinse. And repeat._

_Okay, now that you know all the cons you know that Sawyer doesn't actually like Jessica at all. It's just a con. Good._

_"Well...?" Jessica said again. Sawyer bit his lip._

_"That's... my entire life savings..." Jessica gasped and clapped her hands, looking excited. _

_"You're RICH!" she shouted. Sawyer shook his head._

_"I guess... but it's not even half the money I need to pay my electricity bill." _

_Jessica gasped and pouted. "You know, David and I could help you out."_

_Sawyer was puzzled. "Who's David?" he asked. Jessica giggled._

_"My boyfriend... Huh, I'm cheatin' on him, I'm scum!" She seemed to love this idea. She hopped up and down on the bed with a crazed grin. Sawyer smiled wryly. _

_"Ya sure are, baby... come 'ere, scum." And they kissed and stuff._

_..._

On the beach, Jack was stressed out. Kate didn't know what to do, because the doctor was raging.

"WHERE COULD HE HAVE PUT THE INHALER!" Jack shouted. Kate cowered under a tree. Jack kicked some sand into the ocean. "GAA! SHANNON'S GONNA DIE CAUSE OF THAT SCUM!"

Kate cleared her throat. "Jack, _I _could try to get it from him. We have a connection."

Jack snorted with laughter. "A _connection_! Okay then, go get it from him. I'm sure your _connection _will help you, princess." He rolled his eyes.

Kate tossed her hair behind her shoulders dramatically, and glared at Jack. "Okay, bye, Jack. I'll see you around?"

"Sure, whatever." Jack spat on the ground, and Kate turned on her heel and stomped off to Sawyer's tent.

Sawyer quickly hid his letter when Kate entered his tent.

"Sawyer, hey," Kate said. She sat down next to him. Sawyer stiffened. His eyes were red, like he'd been crying.

"Hey Kate." He sniffled.

"Sawyer, what do you want for the inhaler?" Kate asked bluntly. Sawyer threw his head back and groaned.

"I don't have _any_ inhaler, Kate! Especially not Shannon's! I'm sorry, but I don't!"

Kate bit her lip, frustrated. "Sawyer, stop. We know you have it. We saw what you did to Boone."

"Boone did that to himself, Freckle! The kid's got some serious problems!"

"Yeah, sure," Kate said, thinking of a way to get Sawyer to give it to her. "Hey, Sawyer... if I kiss you, will you give it to me?"

Sawyer stared at her. "You... you wanna kiss me?" he asked. Kate rolled her eyes.

"If I have to, yeah... I won't really mind, if you know what I mean," Kate told to him, being honest. Sawyer pulled away from her.

"Kate, I don't have the inhaler!"

Kate huffed and stood up. "Thanks for nothing, loser."

Sawyer watched her storm out dramatically. And he cried. Again.

...

Out in the jungle, Sayid was still upset over the antennae thing. After interrogating Charlie, he now suspected Locke was the one that had attacked him.

He found him in the jungle, turning a poor dead polar bear into a rug. He stomped up to the Bald.

"I hate you!" he shouted at him. Locke looked up and for a second his smiling mouth flickered into frown. He quickly rearranged his face in a pleasant expression.

"How come?"

Sayid spat on the ground. "YOU KNOCKED ME OUT!" he shouted, making rude hand gestures all the while. Locke chuckled.

"_Nuh uh_, that was Sawyer."

Sayid gasped, buying it.

"It was?"

Locke couldn't believe how easy lying and manipulating people was. He decided to do it more often.

"Yep, because he doesn't want to leave the island."

Sayid gasped again.

"He doesn't?"

Locke shook his head.

"Nope."

Sayid ran off to find and torture the red neck, and Locke burst out into evil laughter.

...

Shannon walked into the caves. She sneezed. She had pretty terrible allergies of almost all the things on the freaky island.

"Hey, are you okay?" Charlie asked her, on his way out of the caves. He was going to go visit Claire again. Shannon nodded.

"Yeah... it's just my allergies."

Charlie looked down at his feet awkwardly.

"Oh... well, sorry for tripping on you earlier. It was the nargles..."

"Um."

"Yeah... see you around." Charlie left the caves. Shannon hoped she wouldn't get the flu, too. Charlie had had it yesterday. Shannon sneezed, just as Jack walked into the caves.

"Hey Shannon," he said. Shannon was about to reply, but her throat was too clogged with mucus from her allergies. She gasped for breath. "Oh. My. Word," Jack said, "It's your asthma!"

"Wha-" Shannon tried to say, but her throat was still all clogged.

Jack started panicking. He made her a little bed of blankets and she laid down on them. She wondered what was going on.

"I swear, I will kill Sawyer," Jack muttered to himself. Shannon gasped, but it came out as a cough instead. Jack set to work making her better.

Just then, Sawyer walked into the caves carrying a bottle of water. He paled when he saw Shannon lying there on the ground, struggling to breath. Jack sprang up with anger.

"Hey, Jack..."

Jack ran over to him and tackled him.

"SAWYER, YOU EVIL-" he punched him, "CHEATING-" he kicked him, "THIEF!".

Sawyer refused to fight back, and lay on the ground getting beaten to a pulp.

...

_FLASHBACK_

_Sawyer and Jessica and a strange man were sitting in a McDonald's eating lunch. The strange man was wearing a shirt that said "I Was An Honors Student in College". His name was David, he was Jessica's husband, and he was eating a large cheeseburger. Jessica had a salad and Sawyer was eating chicken nuggets._

_"... So you expect me to pay this man's electricity bill?" David asked his wife in an annoying nasal voice. Jessica frowned._

_"Not all of it! Just half!"_

_Sawyer nodded. "I don't mean to be needy... but I really need the money." David glared at him._

_"Need, shmeed! Who cares! Why is your bill even that high!"_

_Sawyer blushed. Jessica looked at him curiously._

_"Yeah, why _is_ it that high?"_

_"Well," Sawyer said. "Some guy invaded my house for years and left all my electronic devices on constantly while I was in college and living in a dorm. He's dead now, so he can't pay the bills and I have to."_

_David snorted. "Yeah right... he's probably just pretending to be dead to get out of paying. People these days..." He shook his head and Sawyer beamed because David and Jessica had bought the lie so easily._

_"So... will you help me pay?" Sawyer directed this to Jessica. Jessica grinned._

_"Jessica would do anything for Sawyer!" she said. David chuckled._

_"Oh, Jessie," he said, shaking his head in amusement._

_Sawyer stared down at the table in shame at what he was doing to their relationship, then realized he was out of character, and looked up with a desperate expression on his handsome face._

_"Please, this has been really bugging me. Can you help me pay? You guys seem incredibly generous."_

_David shone with the praise and considered for the first time what helping Sawyer would mean._

_"Hmmm... well... IF I pay for this, I would only have ten dollars left over all."_

_"WHAT!" Jessica yelped. Sawyer glanced at her nervously, but suddenly some random guy walked over to the table. Sawyer didn't know it, but it was Anthony Cooper (Tom Sawyer, to Sawyer)._

_"Excuse me? May I please talk to you for a moment, ma'am?" Cooper asked. Jessica hopped up, frowning at Sawyer and David._

_"Sure, random guy. I'll be right back, boys." She skipped over to Tom's table._

_Sawyer strained to hear there conversation over David's loud, unconcerned chewing._

_"You love Sawyer, don't you?" Tom asked Jessica._

_"Yes! Of course!"_

_"You would do anything for him?"_

_"Of course I would! I love him, don't you understand!"_

_"Then do that deal with him. He needs the money."_

_"Okay. Can I go back to my boyfriends now?"_

_"Yes."_

_Jessica the cheating lying idiotic bad-example (we are not glorifying cheating on your partner) skipped back to her table with a grin. Sawyer looked over to Cooper (remember, he'd never met him in person, just talked to him over the phone). Sawyer gave him a confused smile. "Why'd you do that?" he mouthed. Cooper just grinned and winked at Sawyer. And then he left the restaurant without giving any explanation to Sawyer._

_"Who was that?" David asked Jessica between large bites of his burger._

_"I dunno," said Jessica, but she was smiling at Sawyer, not David. Sawyer was getting very uncomfortable with the situation and wanted to leave._

_"Um... I've gotta leave..." said Sawyer. Jessica pouted._

_"But you haven't finished your Happy Meal!" she said. Sawyer blushed._

_"Sorry, I really have to leave. I.. um... need to feed my cat..."_

_David gaped at him, a chunk of meat on his tongue._

_"I didn't know you had a cat!" he said. Sawyer frowned, sweating._

_"I...I just got him and he gets really hungry... so I have to leave right now."_

_David cleared his throat. "Well. I'll think about that deal than... I'm leaning towards doing it, I must admit."_

_Jessica squealed with glee. "Let's do it now! Sawyer needs money!"_

_David grinned, his eyes bulging with excitment. "GOOD IDEA! But I don't have my money right now..."_

_Sawyer, despite how much he wanted to leave right at that very moment, thought of the future. He wanted this whole thing to be over as soon as possible. He got an idea suddenly._

_"Oh! How about this. I'll come by your house this evening with my money, and you'll have yours at the ready and I'll put it in an envelope and we'll walk to the post office together."_

_"GREAT IDEA!" yelled the idiots at the same time. Sawyer grinned a fake smile._

_"Well, it's a deal than... Now I really must go. My cat's waitin'"." Jessica smiled at the con man and kissed him on the cheek. David gasped. _

_Sawyer left the couple yelling at each other and shuddered at what he had became. Walking down the street to his motel he caught his reflection in a puddle from last night's rain._

_The Sawyer in it was distorted and strange looking. Sawyer broke down then, sobbing, and his tears added to the puddle of despair. _

_..._

Charlie had made his way to the beach again, this time with an idea for a game to play with Claire in mind. It took only seconds to locate the Aussie, and Charlie was pleased to see that she smiled when she saw him.

"Hey, Claire!" Charlie said with a grin. Claire blushed. She decided to just go along with these strange feelings she had for the young rock god.

"Hey, Charlie!" She smiled again and Charlie's heart throbbed.

"Um..." he said, forgetting what he had planned to say to her. "I love your shirt?"

Claire was wearing a pink shirt today. Nothing special, in her opinion. "Oh, thanks."

"Do you need help with anything?" he asked her. Claire was about to shake her head, but she changed her mind at the last second.

"Um, yeah, actually... I'm rather lonely. Wanna... I dunno... talk?"

Charlie clapped his hands and nodded frantically. "Yeah, yeah! YES! I mean... sure."

Claire giggled nervously. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this attracted to someone.

"I have this game that we can play!" Charlie blurted out. Claire raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, what's your idea of fun, rock star?" she flirted. Charlie bit his lip.

"It's not a rock star game!" he said, thinking of the stupid drinking and drugging games he used to play with the band. "It's a game I played with Hurley earlier. It's called 'What do you miss the most'."

Claire raised her eyebrows even higher. "How do I play?"

"Well, we take turns saying things that we miss from our regular lives and stuff. Wanna play?"

Claire rolled her eyes with a smirk.

"What...?" asked Charlie, feeling let down and stupid. Hurley had liked the game!

"Nothing! I'll play. You go first." Claire could think of a whole list of things she missed, but wanted to hear Charlie's first.

"Okay... um... pie. _Banofee_ pie with a coffee and sugar topping."

Claire giggled. "Okay, I miss my pillow. Your turn."

"Um... Christmas Cake."

Claire laughed. "What's that?"

Charlie started explaining in full detail, but Claire cut him off. "It's okay! I miss... my bed." She sighed.

Charlie bit his lip. "Well, um... I miss chocolate pudding with raspberry glaze."

"Blankets."

"Huh?"

"I miss blankets!"

"But... we _have_ blankets."

"I miss _my_ blankets!"

"Oh, okay, um... I miss English Muffins with orange marmalade."

Claire stared at him. "Is food all you miss?" she giggled. Charlie smiled.

"Well, don't _you _miss food? You're the pregnant one! Don't you have cravings?"

Claire shrugged. "I have _one _craving. Peanut Butter."

Charlie gaped at her. "You actually like peanut butter!"

Claire blushed. "Yeah, I know! I'm like the only person in the world who likes peanut butter."

Charlie nodded. "I bet you , I don't have any on me at the moment."

They sat next to each other for awhile in silence. Charlie grabbed Claire's hand, and she didn't pull away.

"If I... if I get you peanut butter will you live in the caves with me?" Charlie asked. Claire blushed, remembering when her old boy friend Thomas had asked her a very similar question. _Charlie isn't Thomas! _she reminded herself. _He's nicer!_

"Um... okay._ If _you can get me peanut butter, " Claire said. Charlie grinned his dopey grin at her and stood up.

"See you in an hour... with peanut butter!" He kissed her hand and ran off.

...

In the caves, Shannon was very confused. Jack was instructing her on how to breath properly. He had just gotten back from pummeling Sawyer. Shannon was worried that he would beat her up, too, and tried to breath normally like he wanted her too. She had so much mucus from her allergies, though, that it was pretty difficult. Sun was watching her with fear.

Suddenly, Jack got up and swore. "WHERE'D SAWYER GO!" Jack yelled. Shannon cowered in fear. Jack hopped up and started running out of the caves to go to the beach. Sayid, who had been coming into the caves every few minutes to check on Shannon, followed him out.

"Jack! Wait up!" he shouted. Jack let Sayid catch up to him, then they both started running to the beach as fast as they could.

"Are... you... going after... Sawyer, too?" Sayid gasped as they sprinted through the jungle. Jack nodded.

"Yeah. I need to get that inhaler from him!" he explained. Sayid smiled.

"Well, if... reasoning... doesn't work... I used to be... a... torturer."

Jack clapped his hands in excitement and started running even faster.

"Sayid, that is PERFECT! Way to go!"

"Aw, shucks..." Sayid muttered. Suddenly, they both bumped into someone who was not paying attention to where they were going. They were flung onto the ground with force.

"DANG IT!" yelled Jack, as Sayid swore in a foreign language. They tried to see who it was.

It was Charlie. Jack and Sayid swore some more.

"Hey guys!" asked Charlie, in his annoying British voice. Every time Jack heard a British accent he wanted to punch an infant.

"What, Charlie?" asked Sayid, getting up. He wiped dirt off his clothes.

"Do you have any peanut butter?" Charlie asked them. Jack and Sayid gagged in disgust at this ridiculous question.

"WASTE OF MY TIME!" laughed Sayid, and he and Jack sprinted off again. Charlie frowned.

"Huh..." Suddenly, something on the ground caught his eye. He picked it up. It was an inhaler. It had initials on it.

"J "S" F..." Charlie read the initials to himself. "Johann Sebastian Flitwick maybe?" he muttered, assigning random names to the letters. "Maybe... Wow... he has asthma?"

Charlie didn't care, so he chucked the inhaler across the jungle and continued his search for peanut butter.

Jack got to the beach with Sayid, and looked around for Sawyer. They finally located him over by the library.

"Hey, Sawyer!" said Jack, running up to Sawyer with a grin.

Sawyer pouted. "Hello."

Sayid walked up Jack and gasped for breath. "Sawyer, this is your last chance."

"For what?" Sawyer asked. He had band aids all over his face. He didn't smile at the bullies.

Jack did a bored and exasperated eye-roll. "To give us the inhaler, genius."

Sawyer threw back his head in frustration. "GAAA! WHY!" he shouted.

Sayid frowned. "You have five seconds to give us the inhaler. Sawyer. Come on!"

Jack began counting. He stopped at two, so that Sawyer wouldn't die, then grabbed onto his left shoulder. Sayid grabbed the right one, and they picked him up.

Claire watched in horror as they carried Sawyer down the beach. There was nothing she could do to help her friend, and she tried not to scream.

"Put me down!" yelped Sawyer. Jack cackled.

"Never! We're gonna torture you!"

Sayid laughed evilly. "And you certainly deserve it, REDNECK SCUM."

Jack smirked at Sawyer's terrified face. "I love karma, man."

And they carried him off into the jungle.

...

Charlie still couldn't find any peanut butter. He had asked Hurley for some, but their conversation had gone something like this:

"Hurley, do you have any peanut butter?"

"Dude... what's that?"

"You know... peanuts all mashed up with butter. Or something."

"Dude... what're peanuts?"

"You know... peanuts. Like... aren't they vegetables or something?"

"You eat your vegetables!"

"Um... maybe."

"Huh huh, you'd better not, dude. Because if you did you'd be in serious danger."

"_Phew_... Thank God I've never eaten them... okay, Hurley? Do you have peanut butter? It's for Claire!"

"I don't have anything that could possibly even be _linked_ to vegetables, Charlie. It's just not safe!"

"Wha–"

"–But if it's fruit you're after, I've got some baked beans and stuff over in my bags."

"Uh... that's okay Hurley, no thanks. I'm good. Just peachy. I'm _very_ nice at the moment."

"That's for Santa to decide, not you, dude. You might be on the naughty list. Have you been behaving well?"

"_Bye, Hurley_... hey, get off me!"

"Charlie, answer my question!"

"Hahaha Hurley I'm going to be leaving now please let go of me!"

"HAVE YOU BEEN NAUGHTY!"

"Let go of me Hurley I really must be going let me go let me go I can't breathe-"

"ANSWER ME."

"Gaa... I'm choking..."

"HAVE YOU BEEN NAUGHTY!"

"NO!"

"_Okay_. Bye Charlie!"

"Bye!"

And that was their whole conversation. Kind of a weird one. But hey, Charlie accepted it. It hadn't been too unpleasant.

Charlie walked up to Locke, taking long, confident strides, ready to ask Locke if he had any peanut butter. But he didn't think that Locke had any.

"Hey, John? Do you have any peanut butter?" Charlie asked Locke. Locke hid a jar behind his back right away.

"What no of course not," he said. Charlie immediately believed him. He smiled.

"Locke, you rock, you know?" he said. He admired the man for helping him kick his drug habit.

Locke grinned. "Too bad you don't, right?" he said, in such a happy way that Charlie knew that he must of misheard him.

"Yeah..." he agreed, just to get on Locke's good side.

"Who's the peanut butter for, anyway?" Locke asked Charlie. Charlie smiled.

"Claire," he said with a huge grin. He was pretty sure he was already IN LOVE with the Aussie.

Locke frowned, caught between his hatred for Charlie and his fatherly love for Claire.

"Hmmm... I sure wish I could help you guys, Charlie." Just then, the jar that was behind Locke's back fell onto the ground. Charlie tried to see what it said.

He failed. "What's it say, John?"

"That's Mr. Locke to you, boy," Locke corrected Charlie, quickly hiding the jar. Charlie blushed.

"Oh, sorry..."

"And if you can't read, that's your problem, not mine. I'm not gonna read stuff out loud for you."

"I can't _read_?" Charlie asked, caught off guard. "I mean, I can _read_!"

Locke chuckled. "Sure. Why don't you go find that peanut butter somewhere else now, okay? I want to finish making this rug before it gets dark out here."

Charlie nodded quietly. "Okay... um, J- Mr. Locke, I mean... do you happen to have the time?"

Locke laughed at the question, but checked his internal clock nonetheless. "'Tis quarter til four, my lad!" he said in his best imitation of a Charlie British accent. Charlie didn't notice. _Darn it!_ thought Locke to himself.

"Thanks... wait, oh my goodness... it's that late already!" Charlie pulled a face and turned around quickly. "Bye-bye, Mr. Locke!" He ran off, running out of time to get that peanut butter, and just barely avoiding the knife that Locke had thrown in his direction.

...

"GAAAHAAAA!"

Sawyer was in severe pain. Sayid was a _very_ good torturer. Not only was he pinching Sawyer repeatedly, he was playing horrible music in the background. From Ke$ha to Drive Shaft, it was giving Sawyer a major headache. To make it even worse, Jack was reading _My Immortal _out loud, knowing about Sawyer's love for good books, including the Harry Potter series. Was there any worse torture for a man who hated fan fiction? There probably was, but Sawyer hoped Jack didn't figure that out.

"You enjoying this, Sawyer!" yelled Jack. He was watching Sayid pinch Sawyer without a fear in the world.

"No... OUCH! I'm not..."

Sayid chuckled, turning magenta. "Than give us that inhaler."

"I DON'T HA-_AVE_ IT! Ow..."

Jack read louder, and cranked up the music. Sawyer felt so terrible about how Ke$ha was corrupting the youth, that he was relieved to hear that it was Eminem this time.

But there was something different with this song. The music wasn't coming out of the radio anymore. Sawyer paled, and whipped around. The scary rapper was behind Sawyer, standing in a huge field while rapping and yelling with anger.

"_Next time, I won't put my __fist__ in the __drywall__! Next time, there won't __be__ no __next__time__, life is no Nintendo game..." _Sawyer let out a scream of terror. Rappers terrified him, especially Eminem.

Sayid was laughing again, thinking that Sawyer was starting to crack.

"Give us the inhaler!" he yelled. Jack got excited and set the jungle on fire to make their surroundings more terrifying for Sawyer. Now that Rihanna was there, too, Sawyer was living in his worst nightmare. Which happened to be the Love the Way You Lie music video.

"_Just gonna __stand__ there and __watch__ me burn... That's alright because I __like__ the way it hurts... Just gonna __stand__ there and __watch__ me cry... That's alright because I __love__ the way you lie..."_

Sawyer writhed in pain. Sayid and Jack were messed up! Had they planned this whole thing? Had they read Sawyer's diary to see what his worst fears were!

Jack looked like he was getting worried though, especially when someone that looked like Charlie but with shorter hair and more tattoos started running around with Megan Fox in a burning house that had appeared out of nowhere. Sawyer stared at the sky and screamed out in pain once more, unable to control himself.

"Sayid, stop!" Jack yelled suddenly. Sayid turned around to Jack with an evil grin, and a strange red glint in his normally dark eyes.

"NO, JACK! WE MUST GET REVENGE!"

Sawyer started sobbing, just as Kate ran up to see what was going on.

"Jack, what's happening!" she gasped, when she saw the famous musicians rapping and singing a song about domestic abuse. She noticed the fire, too, and the Charlie person kissing Megan Fox with passion.

"We _were_ torturing Sawyer, but Sayid got a little out of control!" Jack said. Sayid laughed maniacally.

"You never should have knocked me out, Sawyer!" he yelled, his voice getting more and more snobbish by the second. Sawyer screamed again. It didn't sound like Sayid anymore.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!"

Kate gazed in concern at the scene, not sure what to do. "Guys stop!" she yelled, but Sayid didn't hear her. Jack tried to put out the fire, to no avail. Eminem was suddenly in front of the burning house with Charlie's scary clone and Megan Fox inside. He and Rihanna sang together as Megan Fox slapped Charlie's clone. One thing that bothered Kate was that the rap's words were messed up and not in the right order, like whoever was impersonating the musicians hadn't ever payed attention to the lyrics.

Sawyer gasped for breath, forcing himself to try and be calm. "Kate, can I talk to you for a second?" he managed to say. Sayid glared at Kate, and she hesitated.

"Kate... please!" said Sawyer.

Jack grimaced, but surprised Sawyer."Go ahead Kate! Maybe you're connection will help us get the inhaler!"

Kate nodded, now determined. She and Jack pulled Sayid away from Sawyer, knocking the torturer out, and the musicians immediately disappeared, as well as the house and the fire. Charlie's clone vanished into thin air just as he had begun kissing Megan Fox for the eighteenth time. She stormed off into the jungle, looking embarrassed.

One frantic minute later, Kate was alone with Sawyer. She leaned near him and punched him in the face.

"Ouch!" Sawyer gasped.

"Sorry, my hand slipped," Kate lied with a grin. "Now what did you want?"

Sawyer took a deep breath, pushed the punch out of his mind, and went back to the job at hand. "I want _you_... to look at the ground behind you...!"

Kate gave him a confused look, then turned around. On the ground there was an inhaler. Kate gasped in surprise.

"Wow! It's like magic! Our connection really _did_ help!" she said in joy. Sawyer shook his head with a smile. He had no idea what all this "connection" stuff was, but with Kate he sure didn't mind.

"No... it was there the whole time I was being tortured," he told her. "Now read the label..."

"It's just a bunch of random letters."

Sawyer shook his head. "No, it's initials. J "S" F."

"How did you know that!"

"Because, Kate... those are my initials... James "Sawyer" Ford."

Kate gasped. "You have asthma!"

Sawyer nodded. "I was talking to Shannon earlier... and she doesn't. Boone was lying."

Kate smirked. "If lying was a crime, we would all be in jail," she said, quoting one of the _Pretty Little Liars._

Sawyer smiled, his dimples looking great despite all his bruises.. "Oh, I _like _you."

Kate smiled and leaned into him. "I like you, too..."

And they kissed.

...

_FLASHBACK_

_Sawyer was sitting on a park bench, reading a book. It was _Dangerously Alice_. He enjoyed it for the most part, but he thought that if he had a teenage daughter she might enjoy it more than him._

_Suddenly, his cellphone rang. He answered in less than a second._

_"Hello, bowl-full-of-jelly," he said. Tom Sawyer chuckled on the other end of the line._

_"Hey, James!" he said._

_"So... what's up?" Sawyer asked. Tom Sawyer laughed again, but this time it sounded dry, insincere. _

_"I want the money from that con, Sawyer. I'm getting impatient."_

_"Well, sorry! It's rather hard to do this quickly!"_

_"Don't get snippy, young man!"_

_Sawyer got up off the bench, and started walking to his car._

_"Oh, so _are _you_ _older than me? Or are you some power-hungry teenager? See, I never get to see you..."_

_"James! Shut up! Now listen to me."_

_"Sure, whatever."_

_"If I don't get the money by tomorrow I will trigger a train of events that will lead to the death of Adam Rutherford."_

_"Oh no... who's he?" _

_"Important business man down in LA. He's married, and has a daughter, Shannon, and a step-son, Boone, who love him dearly."_

_"Argh! You're evil, you know that?"_

_"Well, you could just let me kill him, James. You don't have to be so heroic."_

_Sawyer got inside his car and strapped himself in. He leaned back in his seat with a frown. "I am _not_ heroic... I'm a con man!"_

_"Ha! Sucks for you. You know, you've probably caused more death and unhappiness with your cons than you would have caused if you'd just let me murder the people."_

_"Stop..."_

_"Remember your parents?"_

_"STOP!"_

_"You're just like me James... think of all the poor kids who's lives you've made just like yours."_

_"Shut up..." Sawyer's voice cracked. "Just stop, okay!" Tom Sawyer laughed some more._

_"Fine! Sorry, I just really wanna kill Adam."_

_"Well, sorry. I have it all planned out to finish up this con tonight."_

_"Oh, goody! More money for me, more unhappiness for you. Perfect!"_

_Sawyer hung up the phone and sped out of the parking lot. _

_..._

Kate untied Sawyer from the tree he was attached to, and they skipped together to Sayid and Jack.

"Hey, guys! Guess what!" Kate sang out. Sawyer grabbed her arm to steady himself, and Kate didn't shake him off.

Jack stared at the two of them with anger. How could Kate do this to him! She had said that she wouldn't run off with Sawyer, but now it appeared she had.

"Hey, Kate," said Jack. He stomped up to her and kissed her on the cheek. Kate smiled, Sawyer frowned, and Sayid swore.

"WE MUST DESTROY SAWYER!" he yelled. Jack leaned near Kate and whispered into her ear.

"He's under Seth's spell!" he told her. "I think Seth is causing all this extra stuff." Kate gasped, looking at Sayid with fear.

"What?" Sawyer asked. Kate leaned towards him, brushing his hair away from his ear tenderly.

"Sayid's under Seth's spell."

Sawyer gasped, and took a step back from Sayid. Sayid leered towards them.

"So, Kate. Did Sawyer give you the inhaler?" Jack asked. Kate smiled.

"Shannon doesn't have asthma! It's Sawyer that does! Boone's the liar, not Sawyer!" she squealed.

Jack frowned. "I bet that made you happy, huh?" He turned on his heal and stomped off.

"Huh?" Kate said.

Sayid was now magenta. He leapt towards Sawyer and Kate. Kate pulled away from the men.

"Sayid, stop!"

"SAWYER'S THE LIAR!"

Sawyer whimpered. Sayid pulled out Hurley's knife.

"SAYID!" Kate screamed. Sayid smiled.

"Time for you to die, red neck," he said, but now he sounded exactly like Seth Norris. Kate shuddered, but stopped herself from going into convulsions. It seemed a bit too dramatic.

Sawyer screamed as Sayid plunged the knife into his arm.

"JAAAAACK!" Kate screamed, crying. "JAAAAAACK!"

Sawyer convulsed dangerously as Sayid laughed in Seth's dangerous way.

Jack, who was walking through the jungle with a pout on his face, stopped for a second. Was that _Kate _yelling for him? He turned around and sprinted back to find his true love.

Sawyer was no longer conscious. Sayid was looking for something else to stab when Kate ran towards him and grabbed the knife.

"HOW DARE YOU!" he shouted at her. Kate wrestled him to the ground just as Jack arrived.

"Kate, I'll save you!" he shouted. He got Kate off of Sayid.

"Jack, save Sawyer, not me!" she yelled. Jack looked at the dying con man and decided that because Kate loved Sawyer, he would save him. Because _he_ loved _Kate_.

He leapt over to Sawyer and started tending to his arm.

...

Charlie was _really_ starting to panic now. He only had two more minutes to find peanut butter for Claire! Gaa! Why did her favourite food have to be so crazy?

Charlie ran to the beach and double-checked his stuff for a jar of the goop. No luck.

One minute left. None in Sawyer's bag. Why why why?

Charlie saw Claire sitting on a beach towel by the water, smiling. Probably day dreaming about the peanut butter. Charlie swore in despair.

He ran over to Shannon's stuff and dug through it, knowing that he would get in trouble later. No peanut butter! Why was it so bloody rare around here!

He ran back to his stuff again with thirty seconds to go. Claire looked impatient, or worried. She'd probably hate Charlie for making promises he couldn't keep and not getting her peanut butter and being out of breath and having no good excuse for not having it. "I couldn't find any" would sound like _such_ a lie! No one would believe him!

Charlie hated himself for not carrying around Claire's favorite food at all times. Why wasn't there any in his bag! Why hadn't he packed any for the plane ride, just in case!

Charlie glanced at his watch. He had fifteen seconds left until his hour was up. All he had that was even remotely like peanut butter was a large jar of jelly. It would have to do.

He grabbed it and sprinted to Claire.

...

_FLASHBACK_

_Sawyer slowly entered Jessica and David's apartment. He knew exactly what he had to do and what he had to say._

_Jessica looked up from her fashion magazine and smile coyly at Sawyer._

_"Hey, Sawyer...!" she said. David walked into the room._

_"Hey. You ready to do that deal thing?"_

_Sawyer smiled and nodded._

_"Sure am... how about you two?"_

_David nodded and Jessica beamed. "Definitely! Let's do it."_

_"Good... your money, please?"_

_Jess smiled and hopped to the kitchen. "Be back in a sec!" she yelled. David smiled at Sawyer._

_"You know, I feel _so _good about helping you out! It's so cool!"_

_Sawyer smiled, feeling horrible. Cons always made him feel like this._

_Jessica ran back in carrying a burlap sack that said "MONEY" on it. It was overflowing with cash._

_"Here!" she said, with a creepy smile. Sawyer couldn't help but notice that her shirt had disappeared during her short absence, revealing a tacky leopard print bra. Sawyer looked away politely, wondering how it could have fallen off._

_David looked at the sack of money with a smile. "Now I can feel good about myself... I have done something great with my life! Hooray!"_

_Sawyer got out his own sack of money. He was eager to get this over with. But then again, he'd just have to do another con after this one..._

_David grabbed ahold of Jessica's greasy hand and squeezed it tightly. Sawyer smiled at Jessica, but she misunderstood his intention and winked at him, thrusting her hips in his direction._

_"Um... Okay, then... let's get this con- sorry, deal... over with!" Sawyer said. David agreed loudly._

_"YES, LET'S!"_

_Sawyer threw both bags over his shoulders and started to walk out of the apartment, when suddenly..._

_A little boy walked into the room, holding a teddy bear._

_He stared at the adults, his mouth dropping open. Sawyer gasped, remembering when he was a little boy and Tom Sawyer had ruined his life..._

_"THE DEAL'S OFF!" he yelled suddenly. Jessica gasped and started crying._

_"But... WHY!" she sobbed. David gaped at Sawyer with a scowl._

_"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US!" he yelled. Sawyer dropped the bags of money onto their cold stone floor. They were quickly devoured by the cave crickets. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! I WANTED TO BE YOUR HERO!"_

_Sawyer swore. "I'm sorry, but... I just can't do this. It's a con, anyway, so-"_

_"YOU WERE CONNING US!" David shouted with rage. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US!"_

_Jessica sobbed. "But Sawyer... what about our connection!"_

_David swore. "To hell with your connections and stuff... HOW COULD HE CON US! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO US!"_

_"I'M SORRY!" Sawyer yelled. He took a step away from the couple. "But..." he looked at the child, and saw his past self. "I_ _just can't_ _do this!"_

_David stormed away, tearing up his t-shirt in frustration. Sawyer frowned. Jessica crumpled onto the ground._

_"Sawyer, how could you do this to me? I love you!"_

_Sawyer started crying, and knew he had to leave._

_"Well, Jessica... I'm sorry you fell for me."_

_He turned around and exited the building, giving a small smile to the young boy as he left. The child burst into tears and ran off yelling for his mother. _

_Sawyer hung his head and drove away, leaving the poor couple behind forever._

_..._

Charlie skidded to a halt in front of Claire. She smiled at him, and he let out a little sob in return. This jelly thing was gonna be hard to pull off. He had decided just a second ago to pretend that the jelly was actually peanut butter. He hoped Claire wouldn't notice the difference.

"So... I got the peanut butter!" he said. Claire squealed.

"How'd you find it? You are so awesome."

Charlie blushed. "Uh huh... yeah..." he said awkwardly. Perhaps one day he would be a better liar, but right now he didn't have the skills.

Claire bounced up and down a little in excitment. "So... where's my treat?" she asked demandingly, and Charlie prepared himself. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

He pulled out the jar of jelly and held it out to Claire.

"Tuh..." A soft noise escaped from Claire's mouth. She stared at the jar. "Charlie... um...?"

Charlie smiled, knowing he needed to do his best acting ever to pull this off. "Doesn't it look marvelous? Almost too good to eat!"

Claire's face was in a little, confused, half smile. She stared at the jar, then at Charlie. She laughed nervously. "Um, Charlie..."

"Yes, it's looks fantastic. Very peanut buttery." He started unscrewing the lid carefully. "Aww... I can already smell the wonder inside."

"This is a joke, right?" Claire asked, wanting to make sure. Charlie gave her the best shocked expression he could muster. "Oh... um... I guess not...?"

Charlie finished unscrewing the jelly and put the lid onto Claire's towel. "You may lick it if you want... it's hard to resist, yes?" He chuckled a bit.

Claire stared at the jar. "I'm not hungry."

Charlie gasped. "No... no, Claire, please! Just try it! It's good!"

Claire grimaced. "Charlie..."

Charlie looked her in the eyes. "Claire... please... I... I tried, really, really hard to find this for you... and it... it _hurts _that you don't want it..."

Claire bit her lip to keep from crying. She watched as Charlie stuck his finger into the jar and pulled out a gob of dark purple jelly. He licked it off his finger and smiled.

"It's really good, Claire... it's the best bloody peanut butter in all the world."

Claire stared at the jar, and at Charlie, and suddenly it hit her. Charlie had gone out of his way to get this for her. For _her, Claire_, not tall, blonde Shannon or sexy Kate, but pregnant, vulnerable, Australian Claire. He obviously liked her. She could tell. And she liked him. So who cared if he was crazy and didn't know the difference between peanut butter and jelly? Who cared if he went around all confused and blamed it on "the nargles"? Certainly not Claire.

She reached into the jar and got out a gob of jelly. She licked it off her fingers. "Mmmmm... It's good!" she said, surprised. It was better than peanut butter!

"Yes, isn't it _fabulous_? It's so good... the kind of peanut butter that sticks to the roof of your mouth and-oh-God-makes-you-want-a-glass-of-milk..."

Claire giggled and licked the jelly off the lid. "It's so creamy!" she said, playing along. Charlie grinned.

"I know, right?" They sat together for awhile, until they finished the jar. When they were done eating Claire thanked Charlie and shook him warmly by the hand. Charlie was very, _very_ pleased.

"I'm glad you liked it, Claire," he told her. Claire giggled.

"So am I."

Charlie leaned in, ready to kiss her, but she pulled away.

"Not yet, Charlie... I'm not ready."

Charlie smiled at her. "Fine." Claire giggled.

... And scene.

...

LATER...

Sawyer was lying down on the couch of the library. He was asleep. His arm was stitched up and he had a bandage. He was out so cold that he didn't even notice Kate, who had crept up to him, holding his special letter.

"Sawyer," she said. Sawyer was still asleep. "SAWYER."

Sawyer started waking up. "Wha-?"

"SAWYER!"

Sawyer sat up quickly. "Hoosthere!" he asked, rubbing his eyes. He blinked the sleep out from them and then noticed Kate. He smiled shyly.

"Hey, Kate... Were you watching me sleep? Like Edward does to Bella?"

"Edward? Bella? What?"

"Nothing..." He sighed, and rubbed his arm. "Why are you here, Kate?"

"Because I like you, Sawyer."

"Well, that's great... Hey, is that my letter in your hand!"

Kate bit her lip and giggled. "Yeah, it's your letter alright."

"Give it to me! You didn't read it, did you?"

"Yep."

Sawyer groaned in despair. Kate ruffled his hair.

"It's okay," she told him. He frowned.

"You know, Freckle, it's not. That's an invasion of my privacy."

Kate frowned back at him. "Is not! By the way, you wrote that letter."

"So what if I did!"

Kate put her hands on her hips. "Well, I feel bad for you is all. And don't worry about the important thing you told me yesterday. You're not the only murderer around here."

Sawyer tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows. "Who else...?"

"Um, _me_? Duh."

"Oh."

They stared at each other. Sawyer folded up his letter and put it into his pocket, his gaze never straying away from Kate. And suddenly, she was kissing him. He kissed her back, passionately.

Suddenly, Kate pulled away. "Shh! Someone's watching us!" she whispered. Sawyer peered through the door of the library. Sure enough, some creeps were out there peeking in on them.

He strained to here what they were saying. "I thought she was engaged?" he heard.

"It's Claire!" Kate mouthed to him. Sawyer's brow furrowed.

"Yeah, but she only knew Jack for ten days!" Sawyer heard Charlie whisper.

"Well, that's not an excuse for her to go around snogging other guys!" Kate was blushing. Sawyer blushed too.

"Well, if she were to kiss you..."

"_Excuse me_!"

"Okay, if you're going to be like that, say you're a guy then. If she were to kiss you, you wouldn't exactly pull back now, would you?"

They heard Claire scoff. "Well, she's engaged, so _yeah_!"

Kate held back a smile as Sawyer blushed furiously. He grabbed a book off one of the shelves and pretended to be reading, but Kate noticed right away that the book was upside down.

"Well, _I_ certainly would kiss back, " Charlie said.

Sawyer raised his eyebrows. He felt like he was eavesdropping on a very private conversation. Kate was giggling silently.

"Charlie, Charlie, Charlie..." she said. Then she reached up and kissed Sawyer again, ignoring Charlie's insane giggles. She and Sawyer moved out of the view of anyone and continued there "snogging" deeper in the library.

...

EVEN LATER...

Sayid packed his bag. He needed to get away. He had been possessed by a monster and would never forgive himself for what he had done to Sawyer.

"Waste of my time!" he shouted when Claire and Charlie bumped into him on their way to the caves. They scurried away.

When he ran into Boone he screamed with rage and tied him up. "Your lie started this whole mess!" he screamed at him.

Boone chuckled. "What mess? You're making things up. All I started was revenge on a thief, Sayid. Who cares if he's now in severe pain?"

"I DO!" Sayid yelled. Boone laughed and squirmed out of his bonds with ease. He ran down the beach, leaving Sayid and his rage behind.

Sayid stomped to the shoreline and crossed his arms because he was so angry. He was angry at himself, angry at Seth, angry at Boone, angry at Jack, angry at Sawyer, and angry at Locke. He swore in a foreign language. Suddenly, Kate ran up to him.

He wasn't angry at Kate. "Hello, Kate," he said. She had proved to him that she was somewhat intelligent, unlike all the others.

"Sayid, are you going somewhere?" she asked him. Very observant, she was. Sayid smiled at her.

"Yes. I am going to walk along the beach and map the shoreline. I will be gone for weeks."

"Can't someone else do that? I mean, I don't want you getting hurt."

"Kate, what better person is there to do it than the only person I trust?"

Kate frowned. "Sayid... please don't go!" She used her lovey-dovey eyes on him, but he was unaffected by her charm.

"Kate, why is it that you're interested in Jack romantically, you're interested in Sawyer, you're even romantically interested in ME, but you're content with a platonic friendship with Charlie!"

"Sayid..." Kate grinned. "Are you a _Chater_?" Sayid scowled at the ground in a fun, pretend way.

"So what if I am!" he said with a grin. Then he reached up and kissed Kate's hand. She smiled at him.

"Sayid... I'll miss you!" she said. Sayid looked into her eyes and smiled.

"And I'll miss you, Kate. Good bye!"

"We _will _see each other again, Sayid," Kate said. Sayid smiled and set off down the beach, pleased with himself for doing the right thing.


	7. Psychedelic Psychics

Psychedelic Psychics  
A Claire Episode

RATED T FOR THOMAS

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

Claire opened her eyes. She was lying on some blankets in the caves. Her golden hair appeared to be glowing in the little moonlight that shown in through the cracks in the rocks. Everything was smooth, unreal. Claire sat up and looked around, confused. Why had she woken up?

A baby stared crying in the distance.

Claire looked automatically to her stomach. It was flat. But it shouldn't have been. She was eight and half months pregnant. She patted her belly, trying to understand what was happening.

She stood up carefully, scared, but not knowing why, and started following the baby's cries, wondering vaguely if it was _her _baby somehow. But that didn't make any sense.

She walked through the cave wall with ease, passing right through the solid rock. There was a yellow brick road for her to walk across. She didn't question this. If she could do it, then why bother wondering how?

As she walked, she realized that it wasn't cries she was hearing. There was loud pop music in the distance, a cross between Michael Jackson and Justin Bieber. The high-pitched voice must have made her think it was a child.

She started running to the noise, curious, until she came upon a bridge.

"Huh?" Why was there a bridge on this island? Who could have built it? She was just about to walk over it, when Locke hopped up from underneath. She screamed as he started dancing.

"I'm the grumpy old troll... who lives under the bridge..." She blinked several times, sure there was something wrong with this, but she couldn't place it.

Claire looked down at the ground, to avoid looking at his demonic eyes, and was surprised to see that there was a weapon there, just waiting for her to pick it up. She grinned, and picked up the sword. She could use it to get past Locke.

She cut off his head (there was no blood) and hopped spryly across the bridge. It was so nice to not be pregnant! She could run and jump and all sorts of other things that she hadn't been able to do for months.

She continued along the path, walking quickly. She was walking for what seemed like hours. Finally, she made it to the source of the noise.

It was a stage, with strobe lights all around it, and dancing around on it was a young boy that looked a whole lot like Claire. It _was_ a child. "_What_?" Claire said, frowning, uncertain what exactly was going on.

The boy was singing in a screechy voice, standing on a stool to play the electric keyboard, and groupies swarmed around him, thrusting their hips inappropriately for a boy of such a young age.

Suddenly Claire realized that he was her baby! The knowledge flung itself into her mind, unwanted. She didn't know what to make of it. She stared at her child, trying to figure out what was going on. Her child shouldn't be that old– in fact, she hadn't given birth to her baby yet, she was certain of it!

But it was still here, and still hers. She was about to move to the stage, to get her child away from the groupies and the music, to hold it and comfort it and take care of it, when out of nowhere something sharp and wooden flew through the air towards the child. It hit him square in the chest, and he collapsed to the ground, writhing, blood gushing everywhere. Paralyzed in fear, Claire screamed and screamed and screamed and...

"_AAAAAHHHH_!"

Claire woke up, screaming her head off. All that blood– her baby– the music, they were all still in her mind. She couldn't stop screaming. Charlie, who had been sleeping near her, rolled over to her.

"Claire–"

"_AAAAAAAAAHH_!"

Michael, who had also been near her, ran over to them, and so did Ethan. They both had been sleeping close by.

"Claire, what's the matter?" Ethan asked. Claire started crying now, done screaming. She was still pregnant, her baby was safe, but that was _now_. What she'd just seen had been the _future_.

Her hands were all bloody and she didn't know why.

Charlie looked freaked out. But he seemed to be trying to calm himself down and put his comforting hands on her shoulder and began massaging her. "Claire, you're gonna be fine. Okay?" he whispered.

She whimpered, and tried to explain to Charlie what had happened. "I saw the future... I had some sort of– of _premonition_..." She sobbed again at her realization,

Charlie shook his head. "No, it was just a dream!" he said assertively, grabbing her hands. "Don't worry!" He ran hand through her hair, his ring getting caught in the tangles. Claire jerked her head away, angry now because he didn't believe her. It hadn't been just a dream.

Ethan was frowning evasively. "I'll go get the doctor!" he said, walking off. Michael nodded.

"Go, man! The mommy's in danger!" he called after him. Claire was slightly insulted. Ethan no doubt was uncomfortable in her presence. Did he think she was crazy? Someone had to believe that she had seen the future... someone, anyone. _Charlie_ had to.

Charlie rubbed Claire's shoulder and looked her in the eyes. Claire sobbed again. He didn't understand... He didn't believe her... but, her baby... the blood...

"Claire, everything is going to be okay," Charlie said quietly. She let out a little cry of despair and shook her head at him.

"No, it's NOT, Charlie! I saw my baby... and..." Charlie was looking at her with very confused blue eyes, like he wasn't sure what to make of this.

"And what?" asked Michael. At least he cared.

Claire frowned even more and explained as best as she could. "They... he was... THEY HURT MY BABY!" She started crying again. Great job, Claire, she thought to herself sarcastically. Now they'll definitely think you're insane.

Charlie shushed her. "Claire, calm down!" He looked down at the ground awkwardly. "_Sheesh_... Your baby isn't even born yet!"

"But... I _know_... I saw the _future_..." She just couldn't make them understand.

"Claire," Michael whispered excitably, "are you a... a psychic?" Claire stood up with tears pouring down her face dramatically, shaking Charlie's hands away from her head. She had always wanted to be a psychic, but now, after seeing the future, it seemed like a very grave job. The possibility– no, it wasn't just a possibility, she had seen the future, she was sure of– that something something like that could happen to her baby, was too horrifying to imagine. But, she knew it was the truth. It made her want to scream even more.

"I don't know... maybe I am."

Charlie gaped at her. "Well... um..." He didn't seem to think psychics actually existed. He stared at Claire, puzzled. "Maybe it was just a nightmare? 'Cause you're pregnant?"

"Hey, mans, why don't you go see the doc?" Michael suggested. It seemed like Ethan had failed at the task of retrieving him. Claire wasn't surprised. He'd obviously just wanted to get away from her.

Charlie nodded, seeming excited by the idea of reasonable, logical Jack. "Great idea, Michael! Great... come on Claire, lets go!" He extended his hand to her and smiled.

Claire glared at him. "I'll go by myself, thanks."

She stomped off through the caves on her own. She had no time for people who didn't believe her.

...

Claire sat down on a blanket in front of Jack. Jack smiled at her. They had a connection, but not a _love _connection, like Kate was always insisting she had with stupid red-neck Sawyer. No. Jack and Claire had a _sibling _connection. Which was weird, because Jack was pretty sure that he had never met her before in his life.

"So, Claire. You had a nightmare?" he asked, scratching his beard thoughtfully as he stared down at her small, tear-stained face.

"I saw the future."

Jack couldn't contain his humor at this. He smiled at her giddily. "Um... sure, Claire. Only here's the problem: that's not possible."

"Come on, Jack, there are _loads _of psychics out there!" Claire said, her face flushing. She tossed some wild blond hair out of her face. "_Every_where!"

"_Maybe_..." Jack said slowly, "but _they're all fake_." He crossed his arms at her thoughtfully, quite amused with her. If she kept this insanity up much longer, though, he might get angry. He wasn't a very patient person, and he'd be the first to admit it.

Claire pouted at Jack, who felt like he was trying not to laugh.

"No they aren't fake!" Claire yelled. "I went to one! I nearly _am_ one!" She leaned in close and looked into his eyes crazily. "Why doesn't anyone believe me!"

Jack rolled his eyes, not willing to answer her. He didn't have time for this at the moment. It was the middle of the night, and he needed more sleep. "_No further comments on the subject will be permitted_... how long have you been pregnant?"

Claire bit her lip, thinking. Jack waited and waited, trying to figure out the answer by the bulge in her stomach. But he could only guess. After a long time Claire finally said,"This is my... eighth month?"

Jack let out a splutter. That couldn't be right. "Your doctor allowed you to go on a plane when you were eight months pregnant!" Whatever doctor she'd had was horrible. Not nearly as good as Jack at dealing with pregnant people, and Jack was a _spinal surgeon_.

"Yes." Claire wasn't looking him in the eye. "But that's not important. What's important is that at some point in the distant future, someone's going try to hurt my baby!"

Jack shook his, trying to ignore her. As Sayid said so much, she was a waste of his time. "Are you married?" he asked, yawning. He thought longingly of his warm, soft pile of straw and blankets and pillows.

"No, but who cares!" Claire exclaimed. "Aren't you listening to me? Someone's going to try– to hurt my baby!"

Jack sighed. She was like a broken record. Obviously she was completely delusional.

"Did your boyfriend leave you?" he asked, trying to upset her. Even if her boyfriend hadn't left her, it could be considered rude for Jack to suggest something like that. This made Claire stop her wailing for a minute. Good. Very good. Rudeness worked.

"It wasn't like that–"

"Let me guess," Jack interrupted. "He didn't wanna be a _father_." He yawned again. Couldn't she just go away already? Maybe he could knock her out... or knock himself out... sleep, he needed sleep...

Claire looked down. "Not exactly... he stuck around a bit..."

"But not long enough."

There was an awkward silence as Jack started nodding off. Before he fell asleep, he managed to say one more mean thing to Claire. "Sucks to be you, Claire." Claire looked up sadly, but with a hard glint of resolve in her eyes.

"You're absolutely right, Jack. It does," she said, and she walked away with a terrible burning look at Jack. He didn't see it of course. He was already asleep.

_FLASHBACK_

_Claire was crying, pacing a small bedroom, holding a Melly pregnancy test. Her boyfriend was in the room with her. He was tall, with short light brown hair and a blue eyes. He frowned at her._

_"Claire, I think this is probably a poxy time to tell you this–"_

_"Thomas! Shut up!" Claire wiped tears out of her eyes anxiously and glared at him with all the force she could muster. He didn't get the point._

_"Claire, please, just lend me your ear! I got this phone call today–"_

_"SHUT! UP!" Claire shouted. "I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT RIGHT NOW!" Thomas shrunk back from her, sheepish._

_"Okay, okay... Claire, what's it say?" Claire wailed at him._

_"I don't know yet! It hasn't been forty seconds!"_

_Thomas sighed, feeling melancholy. "This is the longest forty seconds of my life." They stared at the test in Claire's hand, glancing back and forth from the pregnancy to Claire's watch. Finally, the forty seconds were up, and it lit up bright pink._

_Claire dropped it in surprise. "Whoa! Does that mean-"_

_Thomas cleared his throat loudly to cut her off. "No! It's supposed to be pink! That looks almost red... doesn't it? Or maybe magenta!"_

_"Shut up, Thomas!"_

_Wanting to move onto another subject, Thomas picked up to glowing object and threw it out the window. It landed on his car's roof. There. Out of sight, out of mind._

_"Okay, Claire. Now that we know you're pregnant–" he began._

_Claire started wailing again. "I DON'T WANNA BE PREGNANT!" She lay down on their bed, sobbing in despair._

_Thomas bit his lip, knowing that this was not the time to share his good news. This was very annoying to him. Oh well. He decided to cheer her up._

_"Claire, come on... you can be a really cool mum! And we'll have a cute little baby to take care of together!" He smiled brilliantly at the idea. He loved babies, with their cute little faces and pudgy, strangely proportioned bodies._

_Claire sobbed some more. "This is not what I wanted, Thomas!" she said, rolling from side to side on the bed, messing up her hair._

_"Come on!" Thomas said desperately. He was struck with sudden inspiration. "Hey! I thought of something cool! What if it's twins?"_

_"NO! STOP!" Claire sat right up, looking horrified, but he continued, unable to stop in his excitement. He was a genius, this new thought was very cool. _

_"Or triplets!" he said. "Or... wait... what comes next?"_

_"Thomas, SHUT UP!" Claire said, stomping over to him and shaking his shoulders as hard as she could with her petite body. _

_Thomas was silent. He stared at his girlfriend for a minute, then smiled. Why couldn't she see the sunny side of this? Why was she always so negative? It wasn't very attractive. _

_"Come on, don't tell me a baby wouldn't be fun!" he tried. Claire moaned._

_"Well, it _wouldn't_! Babies– they just cry and whine all day long!" She stomped her foot fiestily. "What's so fun about that!"_

_"Um... Well, so do you...," Thomas grinned at her, knowing he was crossing the line, "and you're fun, Claire."_

_She stared at him, and more tears started rolling down her face, even harder than before. "This is not the time, Thomas! Stop it!"_

_"Sorry... I was just sayin'." He frowned as his stomach rumbled and got a Go-Gurt out of his pocket. Comforting people sure was hunger-inducing. He wasn't sure he'd be able to do it very much in the future._

_"Mmmm," he said, sucking it in hard. It was his favorite treat from the states. "Want one?"_

_Claire sobbed some more. Thomas leaned towards to her and gently grabbed her hands. She tried to shake him off but he held on tight, keeping her close to him._

_"Claire, pull yourself together. This isn't that bad. You'll be a great mum, and I'll be a great did! I even got a new job!"_

_Claire tried to smile but failed to look enthused. "You did? What is it?"_

_"Only the goblin knows..." he said creepily. Claire made a face._

_"Well... I guess we'll just have to pull through this together, huh?"_

_Thomas nodded. "Yep. I guess so."_

_..._

Claire was sitting in the jungle, alone. She was writing some vicious hate mail to Jack in her journal. This island was like the worst place ever! She hated it so much and wanted so badly to go home. She could not understand why Sawyer and Kate loved it so much.

Her baby would die on this island.

Suddenly, there was rustling in the nearby trees. Claire looked up, startled. Who was it? Who was coming to bother her?

Claire listened intently, because it sounded like the person was talking. She strained to hear what they were saying.

"But... dude... if I kill _everyone_ then I'll have no friends!"

Claire froze. What? What was she hearing!

"I know, dude, but still... I don't wanna be a murderer... hey cut it out! I'm not a loser!"

Claire wondered if the person was talking to himself or something, because she only heard one person. Whoever it was, they were into some shading stuff... murder was one thing that scared Claire so much she could hardly think about it, especially after her premonition last night.

"Dude! Wait, shhh! I see someone!"

Claire tried to hide behind a tree. She was lucky, and it was a tree large enough to hide her pregnant body. She saw Hurley cautiously look around, which surprised her. Hurley didn't strike her as someone to mess with murder.

"I know! Shut up!" he said. He pulled away. "I get it...! _Oh_ so now Seth wants that too... weird how that works, huh?"

Claire heard him walk away, further into the jungle. Relieved that he was gone, she sled back onto the ground and opened her journal up again.

Suddenly, someone burst through the shrubbery into her little clearing. Claire started screaming at the top of her lungs, convinced that Hurley had come back to kill her.

"_AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH_!"

Then she noticed it was Charlie, and she had scared the wits out of him. He was shaking, and had backed up against a tall oak tree.

"Sorry," she muttered, embarrassed. This wouldn't do. He must have thought she was paranoid now. "I thought you were Hurley."

Charlie nodded nervously. "Haha... yeah..." He swallowed, and slid weakly down onto the soggy jungle ground.

Claire gave him a forced smile. He was so much like much Thomas it hurt. Maybe she'd like him more if he wasn't so much like him! It was as if her ex had come back to haunt her...

"So, Claire... you all alone out here?" Charlie asked nervously, his fingers twitching around like he was playing an invisible piano.

Claire gave him an incredulous look. What was he up to? Why did he care if she was alone or not? "Do you see anyone else?"

Charlie blushed. "Sorry... I just worry about you, is all."

Claire rolled her eyes. "Yeah, so I've noticed." He worried about her, but he didn't believe her. He must be worried about her sanity. If he really wanted Claire to like him, he would have said he worried about her baby.

"Well... it's not creepy, is it?" Charlie gulped down some air.

Claire seriously considered her answer. She felt like causing him pain at the moment. "Um... yes, it is, actually."

Charlie blushed again and glanced at the ground. "I'm sorry! I don't think it's creepy... I mean I just wanna be your friend I guess, and I'm really really sorry that I creep you out and all and do you maybe wanna be my friend? Sorry, that was creepy I bet. But really, not that much, I mean I'm hardly older than you and I don't wanna hurt you and stuff and do you maybe wanna date?"

Claire stared at him, feeling betrayed. He wanted to DATE her? How dare he? She was not going to date anyone. Not for awhile, anyway. And definitely not mister Thomas-clone.

"Charlie–" she said, but he just babbled on.

"And... and... and, um, sorry I guess was that not the time to ask that question. I mean I kinda blurted it out by accident. I do that. I mean it's not like I think you're beautiful haha... God that came out wrong, please forgive me. I think you the prettiest person ever and I-"

"_Charlie_. Please be quiet," she said. How could he talk about beauty right now? How could he sit there, acting like he liked her, when he thought she was insane? Was he trying to make her slap him?

"Sorry."

They sat there for awhile, Claire writing in her journal and ignoring him as best she could, until finally Charlie couldn't take the silence.

"What are you writing about? I used to have a journal. It was boring, though. I'm _so_ boring. All I ever had to write about was Liam and him forcing me to do all the stuff he wanted done, like compulsively arranging almonds on our couch, and I also wrote about painting and music... and also that one time when I ate a carrot... and, oh yeah! I wrote about this dream I had when I was a famous acrobat and I had so many skills it wasn't even funny... um... That's all."

Claire sighed. "You too much, Charlie."

"I know. Sorry. You make me nervous."

Claire blushed. She hadn't expected that. Why did she make him nervous? Was he like Ethan, was he bothered by the idea of her being crazy? "Well, sorry," she snapped at him, deciding she was correct. It was all over his face, his discomfort. It was shone to her clearly through all his different twitchy little ticks.

"Don't be!" Charlie said, taking her words at face value. "You look lonely."

"Not really... apart from being away from all my friends and family..." She wasn't in the mood to talk about it. She needed to think about her baby! She needed to get off the island, keep her baby off the island! She wasn't going to let Charlie make her trust him. Not if he didn't trust her.

"Well, we could be friends," Charlie said, as if he had heard her thoughts and wanted her to despise him more than anything.

Claire didn't answer.

Charlie cleared his throat and stood up. Finally. "Fine. I get it," he said. Claire gave him a long, withering look. He didn't get it. He'd be back, she knew it.

"Sorry, Charlie," she said sarcastically.

He left her sitting all alone in the jungle.

...

Kate was standing on the beach, her feet in the water. She was standing still so that the water brushed up gently over her feet, making them sink further under the sand.

Jack walked up to her with a smile on his little old face.

"Hey, Kate," he said. Kate looked up at him, startled.

"Hello, _Jack_."

Jack did his smiley-shakey head thing at her. "So... this is a first, eh? You, standing around. Talking to me. On the beach."

Kate smiled back. "Yeah, whatever you say, Jack." She tossed her curly hair over her shoulder and sighed, making her look even more beautiful than usual.

"So, what are you doing on the beach, sweetheart?"

Kate looked at him lovingly and reached out to stroke his manly stubble. "I live here now, Jack," she explained.

Jack nodded. "I see... Don't you wanna get off the island though?" He was very curious to see what she really wanted. It was a test: he felt that they were soul mates and should have the same views on this.

Kate nodded, then shrugged. Jack accepted it. "But for now, I'm fine right here. I love the ocean."

Jack laughed awkwardly, looking at his financé tenderly. He felt the need to compliment her. "You could probably swim off the island. All the way back to LA."

Kate chuckled and rolled her big brown eyes, flattered. "Nah... Bet _you_ could. Good plan. Sayid would be proud..."

It was Jack's turn to roll his eyes. "Yeah, when he was done muttering about how I had wasted his time talking to him," he snorted dismissively. He didn't want to talk about Sayid Jarrah, who he had trusted to torture Sawyer. Then Sayid had gone and let himself get possessed by Seth Norris, and Sawyer had earned a sympathy kiss from Kate. It was all Sayid's fault in the end, Jack thought.

Kate looked Jack in the eyes nervously. "Jack... he's been gone for ages!"

Jack shrugged, wanting to move on. "Yup."

"Don't you care!" She sounded upset.

"Nope." He fidgeted around, trying to convey just how bored he was.

Kate glared at him. "Why not! He was, _so_ cool! And so sweet! And nice?"

Jealousy burned inside Jack now. So Sayid was cool and sweet and nice, was he? "How can you even remember that, Kate? He's been gone for a week! That's _ages _on this island. And you knew him for two weeks, Kate."

Kate frowned at him and took a minute to think up her response. But no one could take on Jack's logic and come out victorious in the end. "Your right..." She sighed. "He's probably forgotten all about us..."

Jack nodded. "Exactly! I've forgotten _him_! If he came back today, I wouldn't even recognize him. How 'bout you?"

Kate sighed, and put her smooth, clean hands into her pockets. "I would. We had a connection, you know what I mean?" Jack didn't want to think about that. All these connections that Kate had with other men were getting on his nerves.

He did his famous bored and exasperated eye-roll. "Of course you did, Kate." He sighed. "Sorry, I've gotta go."

Kate glanced at the ground again, tears in her eyes. "Oh. Okay, Jack..." she sighed. "I love you," she mumbled. Jack didn't hear her.

Jack grimaced. "Yeah. Bye, Kate."

But as he wandered by himself back to the caves, he couldn't help but wonder. Where was Sayid?

...

_FLASHBACK_

_Claire and her friends, two muscular punks, were walking up to a cute little house in sunny Sydney. _

_"Claire, you sure you wanna go?"_

_"Yeah!" _

_Her friends were named Bobby and Freddie. They were huge. They were actually her bodyguards. Thomas had insisted she get some because she was pregnant, and he had read online that his favorite actress had gotten shot in the belly, killing her child._

_"Are you sure you trust psychics?" they asked her._

_"I practically am one myself!" _

_Claire and her bodyguards walked slowly up the steps of the house, ready to learn Claire's future._

_They knocked on the door and someone answered right away. It was a middle aged man wearing a dirty t-shirt and shorts. Claire smiled at him._

_"We're here for the psychic!" she said. The man smiled at her._

_"You're lookin' at him!"_

_Claire gaped at him. "Um... okay... wow. Sorry."_

_Bobby looked at Claire with a frown. "You sure you trust this guy, Miss Littleton?"_

_"Yes, of course I do! He's a psychic!"_

_Bobby and Freddie exchanged worried looks. _

_The psychic, named Richard Malkin, smiled at Claire. "Come inside, Miss Littleton."_

_She hopped in happily._

_A few minutes later, and she was sitting in his house, on Malkin's coffee table, as he set up an elaborate scene on his rug. Bobby and Freddie were waiting outside for her, having not wanted to go inside with the creepy psychic._

_"So, Claire, how's life been treating you?" asked Malkin as he placed his little creepy dolls in their cute little arm-chairs. _

_Claire swung her legs back and forth, feeling excited. "Okay, you know? I mean, I don't wanna be pregnant... but Thomas has been such a sweetheart about it!"_

_"Oh really?" Claire and Malkin had become fast friends after Malkin had let her watch his golden pocket watch swing back and forth mesmerizingly._

_"Yeah! I've moved in with him. At first I didn't want to, but then he offered me peanut butter, and, well, you know how much I love it."_

_Malkin grinned at her. "I sure do! You're probably about the only human who does– but not the only Aussie!"_

_They shared a laugh at their inside joke. Claire brushed some hair out of her face with her carefully cleaned hand._

_"You're so funny, Ricky. Anyway, will you be a dear and hurry up with this future telling thing?"_

_Richard laughed, and said, "I'm already ready to start! Okay, I'll need you to sit in this armchair, please."_

_Claire hopped over to the armchair that he had pointed at, and sat down._

_"'K, now what?"_

_"This!" _

_Malkin turned around in a circle, and when he was facing Claire again, he fell down onto the ground, asleep. Claire stared, worried that he had had a stroke or something._

_"M- Malkin?" she stuttered. _

_He was frowning. The dolls lay untouched in their creepy little chairs. Then SUDDENLY..._

_Malkin sat up, his eyes still closed, and picked up one of the dolls. It was a blonde doll, very old fashioned. He made it walk towards a brown haired male doll, and they hugged._

_Claire stared as he then made the blonde doll toddle over to the tiny baby doll. He made it pick it up and rocked it gently from side to side. The brown haired doll, though, turned away, and Claire gasped. It's features were now distorted in anger!_

_That was enough for her. Picking up her bag, she ran out, not wanting to see what else was going to happen. She felt like that represented her future, and did NOT want Thomas running out on her. Ever. _

_She ran past Bobby and Freddie, not looking back. She needed to get home... to make sure Thomas was still there for her..._

_..._

NIGHT TIME AGAIN

Claire was sleeping soundly on her own portion of the rocks. It wasn't too comfortable, but she still managed to sleep.

She was having a normal dream tonight, but was still convinced that someone was going to hurt baby. She was wearing protective armor under her shirt just in case some creep tried to surgically remove her baby in the night, then take it away and raise it for themself.

While she slept, _someone... _some_thing_ sneaked up to her holding a knife and tons of needles. He tried to jam the knife into her stomach, but he let out a loud gasp. Why was she wearing armor? Did humans always do this!

Ethan tried harder and harder to get the knife to go into her, but he kept failing. Swearing, he stood up, and accidentally tripped over her legs.

Gasping, Claire sat up and swung out a punch before starting to scream. Having the super speed of a vampire, Ethan sped away before she saw who it was. She screamed some more.

Charlie and Michael ran up to her, this time followed by the doctor.

"Claire!" Charlie exclaimed. "Are you okay!"

Claire started crying. Who had been creeping up on her! And why were there needles lying on the ground right next to her? Had someone tried to hurt her baby? SOMEONE HAD TRIED TO HURT HER BABY! SOMEONE HAD TRIED TO SURGICALLY REMOVE HER UNBORN CHILD.

Claire screamed again, completely hysterical. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

This time, Jack walked up to comfort her. She felt like a sister to him, for some strange reason, a baby sister. A baby sister that had better stop crying right this very minute or Jack didn't know what he'd do to her. A baby sister that was cute, but so darn annoying that drastic actions needed to be taken. A baby sister so frustrating, that Jack would have to be almost _nice _in order for her to stop screaming.

"Claire, you scream anymore and you'll kill everyone here. Now calm now and explain yourself."

Claire tried to explain, sobbing all the while. "Last night... I had a dream, and I... I saw the future! And... someone had harmed my baby! Jack! Someone was trying to hurt my baby tonight, I swear..."

Jack gaped at her, Charlie frowned, but Michael was interested. "Did you fight them off, Claire?"

Claire thought for a moment. "Yeah... I think I must have. They ran away."

Charlie nodded, looking worried. "I'll go look around. I mean, they could still be here, just hanging around, _ready to strike again_." Claire's eyes widened. Did he... could he possibly... believe her?

Jack seemed to find this funny. "Um... come on, guys..." he said weakly.

But Charlie ran off to search, and Michael went off to find Walt and protect him. Claire cried into Jack's shoulder for awhile, until Jack had to go. He jumped up and ran off, leaving Claire all alone in the caves, crying herself to sleep.

...

Jack walked through the jungle, looking for Hurley. He wanted to tell him that the search was off. No one had tried to hurt Claire, obviously. It had just been a bad dream. Jack was getting verrry annoyed with her. He better get a full night's rest tomorrow, or she'd be in trouble.

"Hurley! HURLEY!" Jack shouted. Hurley didn't come. Jack was getting a slightly worried. Normally Hurley was easy to find! He was so big and responded to Jack's calls like a trained dog. "HURLEY, DANG IT, COME HERE!"

Hurley walked up to him, coming out of the shadows, and Jack felt relieved for a second, thought he wouldn't admit it to himself .

"Hey, Jack!" Hurley said. Jack stood several feet away from him, staying alert, and started talking to him. Hurley didn't even try to listen.

"'K, dude... whatever."

"HURLEY, listen to me!"

"Fine."

Jack glared at him. Why was he being so difficult tonight? "Okay, I was saying that you can stop looking for Claire's attacker. I'm convinced that he doesn't exist."

"Fine." Hurley nodded to show that he was paying attention. "Jack, do you think... that everyone on this island is human?"

Jack stared at him. Where had that come from? "What? Of course, Hurley. What the hell?"

Dave had told Hurley that some of the passengers on the plane were monsters, and had told Hurley how to check their background information to find out.

"Jack, I'm gonna start a census just in case, ya know?"

Jack stared at him. "Hurley, believe me, everyone on this island is human. Even Seth, okay? And a _census_ would not prove anything otherwise."

Hurley started fidgeting. Jack was wrong! "Okay, Jack. I've gotta go."

Jack squinted at him. "Hurley, are you okay? Like, are you sane?"

Hurley knew he was crazy. But he was fine with that. "Yes," he lied, because he knew that if he told the truth he would be in trouble. "Yes, I am sane. As sane as you are, Jack. Very sane." And he turned on his heel and stalked off.

Jack scratched his head. "Huh..." he said. He tried to think of why Hurley could be acting so messed up. He was so busy thinking that he didn't even notice Ethan creeping by with blood dripping from his long, sharp fangs.

...

Charlie walked up to Claire slowly, dragging along a quilt. In fact, it was the very one that Kate had knitted. In an unexpected fit of generosity, she had lent it to him.

"Hey, Claire," Charlie said. He was wearing his light blue flannel pajamas. Claire sighed. He just didn't get it, did he? Hadn't she made her feelings clear to him yesterday?

"_Hello_, Charlie." He grinned.

She pouted. She did not want to get close to him. Guys were unpredictable. They were immature. They were scary. They joined strange cults. How could he expect her to like him?

"So, I've been, like, thinking, and, um, well, I thought that, maybe, you might be scared or something... I mean..."

"_Charlie._" Yes, she was scared. No, she wouldn't let him comfort her.

"What?" Charlie stared down at his feet and scratched his neck nervously. "Did I say something wrong?"

It was really just the fact that he didn't trust her. She'd seen the future. He needed to believe that, and if he wouldn't, they couldn't even be friends. "No. Please, I'm not scared, so..."

"Oh." Charlie bit his lip, tears of frustration leaking from his blue eyes. "I get it. Bye...?"

Claire wondered if he really did get it this time. Why was he so persistent? "Bye."

Charlie walked out, leaving the quilt behind for Claire. Once he was gone she wrapped herself up protectively, and thought about Thomas...

...About Thomas...

_FLASHBACK_

_Claire was sitting on her and Thomas' bed, playing solitaire. She was totally gonna win. She rocked at this game... eventhoughsheneededtocheat. Haha._

_Thomas walked into their apartment just then, carrying a bunch of paper bags full of beer bottles. He was thinking of his new job, and an important decision he had to make..._

_"Hey, Thomas!" Claire said, discreetly slipping the ace of hearts up her pretty pink sleeve._

_"Hey... Claire..." Thomas said. He set the bags down on the counter carelessly. The bottles cracked open and beer started leaking thought the paper. He swore, but did not clean it up._

_"So, what's up, darling?" Claire asked romantically. Thomas was too bothered to answer. Instead he sat down on his favorite bar stool. It was the Melly one. _

_"Thomas?" Claire said. "I've been meaning to ask... what's your new job, anyway?"_

_Thomas laughed a little at this, obviously in an evil way. Claire didn't notice, though, and walked over to him. Leaning against the beer-soaked counter, she smiled at him. _

_"You tired, Tommy?" she asked, massaging her still-flat pregnant stomach._

_Thomas frowned. "Claire... about my new job... well..."_

_He stood up and turned away, and thought about what he needed to say. His eyes turned red in the process. He really was a true member now._

_"Claire..."_

_"What, Thomas?"_

_Thomas turned back to her, and she let out a yelp. He now was grinning evilly. His pointy teeth looked sharper than normal._

_"I'm now in a secret group called 'the Toms'." He waited for her response to that. She gave none, so he continued. "Well, for this group... we are not allowed to have girlfriends named Claire."_

_Claire gaped at him, then started laughing nervously, confused. "You have a really twisted sense of humour, Thomas!" she said, slightly worried. "So what's your _real_ new job?" _

_Ignoring her, he continued. "Also for the Toms, we are not allowed to live with pregnant women named Claire. Or being romantically interested in girls named Claire. We must obey all the rules. Always. If we don't, we are executed by the boss himself."_

_"Thomas, stop. You're... funny... but scary. So just stop."_

_"I am not joking, Claire," he said. What was wrong with him! It was like he was being controlled by a monster that crashed planes for its own amusement. Claire shook herself. Where had that thought come from?_

_"Thomas, I thought you loved me? Why would you join a group like this?" Claire asked, still not completely believing it. Thomas smiled fakely._

_"For fun. It's fun, Claire."_

_"But–"_

_"Claire. We can still be friends. That's not against the Tom rules." Thomas was not acting like himself at all. Claire was pretty terrified. She backed up a little bit, stumbling on a loose floorboard. She quickly righted herself._

_"Are you breaking up with me!" she asked._

_"Yes," he replied. " It's a Tom thing. You wouldn't get it. We can still be friends."_

_Claire laughed. She was too scared to operate normally. _

_"In what twisted universe would a girl want to be friends with the guy that just broke up with her? After getting her pregnant?"_

_Thomas shrugged, showing no emotions at all. Claire burst out in tears._

_"Guess I should go, then," Thomas muttered. Claire clawed desperately at his shirt, her fingers catching the loose fabric for a second before it was tugged out of her grasp._

_"THOMAS! Why...?"_

_Thomas laughed and left, walking out of Claire's life._

_"Gotta get to work... See ya never, Claire!"_

_Claire collapsed onto the floor, crying harder than she had ever cried in her life._

_..._

_"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

Claire was screaming again. She had come across the carcass of a cow in one of the cave's many corners. There was a note pinned to it:

Claire,

I WILL hurt your baby. Try to protect it all you want, it's pointless. I'm gonna corrupt your child. He'll be a pop star.

Love,

SETH'S #1 HELPER

She stared at the note. Why would someone do this to her? WHY? What had she ever done wrong? Why would someone wish to turn her baby into a corrupt pop star, and– stake it! She shuddered.

Oh, by the way, it was morning time now. Also, Claire was still all alone in the caves. The cow had been in the corner near her "bed", no doubt placed in a spot that she would find it lying dead when she woke up.

Suddenly, Hurley walked into the caves, holding a spiral-bound notebook in his pudgy hands. Claire saw him and lurched away. He terrified her.

"Hey, Claire. Can I ask you a couple of questions?" Hurley was doing it for his "census", and was only asking questions that were approved by Dave.

Claire shivered. "Sure, whatever," she said, slowly inching away from him. What if _Hurley _was Seth's #1 Helper?

"Okay, question one: How old are you?" Hurley knew that vampires and other creatures were immortal, and knew that if her answer was too ambiguous or over 100, she was a monster.

"Um, 25. Next." Claire needed him to leave. Now.

Hurley wrote down her answer. It was reasonable enough."Okay, so, why were you in Aussie land?"

"I _lived _in 'Aussie land', Hurley. Next." Answering these questions relaxed her a bit. His suspicion made her less suspicious. She was not _as_ afraid of Hurley anymore, but was keeping her guard up nonetheless. She cautiously fingered the pepper spray in her pocket.

"Alright... um... what's your favorite food?" Hurley knew that vampires loved blood. It was their favorite food– their only food.

Claire thought for a moment. "Umm... lets see... jelly, I guess." Ever since Charlie had given it to her, she had loved it even more than peanut butter. And it was easier to find, too. The thought of the jelly made her sad. She regretted being to mean to Charlie now.

"Okay, final question... are you human?"

Claire stared at him, and nodded slowly.

"Um, yeah." She sighed, pulling her beautiful golden hair into a ponytail. Perhaps Seth's Help wasn't human?

"Alright! You pass, dude...ette." Hurley turned around and left Claire, once again, all alone in the caves.

...

Hurley made his way down to the beach. He needed to make sure everyone was human. He first walked up to John Locke, who was sitting on the beach, staring at the beautiful ocean. "Hey, dude. Scary man!"

Locke looked up from a block of wood he was carving. "Hello, Hugo," he said with a disturbing smile. Hurley shuddered.

"Can I ask you a couple questions? To make sure you're human?"

Locke nodded slowly, the smile still in place on his wrinkled, bald face. "Sure," he said. But his body was tense– he was on guard.

Hurley made sure that no one was eavesdropping, then leaned in towards Locke.

"Okay, dude. So, first question: How old are you?"

"51." That was a reasonable answer for Locke. Hurley jotted it down in his notebook.

"Why were you in Australia?" he asked, moving on down the list. Dave would be pleased.

"I was looking for something." Locke stared at Hurley's feet.

"What were you looking for, dude?"

"A job! Shut up! I'm done answering questions."

Hurley stared as Locke picked up his knife and walked off into the jungle. Hurley shook his head in disgust.

"Some dudes are _so _weird..." he muttered to himself. Dave walked up to him.

"True, Hurley. They are. So, who have you questioned so far?"

"Claire and Locke."

"THAT'S ALL? YOU FOOL!"

Dave started punching Hurley. Hurley started screaming. Just then, Kate, Charlie, and Jack walked by, gossiping about the past few days.

"He actually said that, Kate? What is bloody wrong with him?"

"I know, right? So then I was like–"

Jack suddenly saw Hurley doing something rather peculiar. He was acting like he was being pummeled, when nothing was hitting him. Jack stared.

Charlie looked over at Hurley, his eyes wide. "What's he doing?"

Kate laughed, amused, forgetting about her story. "I have no idea." She rolled her eyes. "Silly Hurley..."

Jack put a protective arm around his financé. "Yeah. Silly, schizophrenic Hurley..."

Charlie raised his eyebrows. "He has mental illness? I didn't know that. I thought he was a fine friend... never acted weird..."

Jack shrugged. "No idea if he has it or not. To tell you the truth, I'd rather not find out."

Kate laughed some more. "I bet he does have it. He's funny."

They stared at him some more. Charlie bit his lip. He seemed intrigued by this idea about Hurley, thinking too much if it. He should have questioned what Jack said, but nope. His grey-cells were working hard, trying to solve the Claire mystery, when the answer was walking right by them.

"Hey, Ethan!" Jack said, waving. Ethan smiled at him, fangs shining brightly, and kept on going. Charlie then voiced his idea.

"Do you... do you think that _Hurley's _the one who's been attacking Claire, maybe?"

Jack laughed out loud at this. Kate and Charlie stared at him.

"What's so funny, Jack?" Kate asked shoving his arm off of her shoulder. Charlie crossed his arms defensively.

"Jack, what's up with you, huh? We talk about Claire and you just laugh! This is serious, mate! Her baby's in danger!" he said.

Jack guffawed merrily at this. "I laugh because it's funny that you believe her silly little stories, guys. She's a _liar_."

Charlie glared at Jack. Even Kate was slightly upset by this.

"She's our friend! She's not a liar!" she said, grabbing Charlie's arm and pulling him close. Jack rolled his eyes, annoyed because Kate was failing to see the truth, AND she was touching Charlie. Hmmph.

"Whatever... see you later..." he said coldly. He walked away.

Charlie turned to Kate. "Let's go save Claire!" he said heroically, thrusting his fist into the air. Kate nodded, determined.

"Yes!" she said, tossing her amazing curls over her shoulder. "But first let me paint my nails."

...

Jack walked through the caves, looking for Claire. She was in the corner, writing in her little journal. Jack picked up his doctor bag and walked up to her.

"Hello, Claire." Jack almost laughed just looking at her. She was such a joke! Hahahaha_ha_. A joke that fell flat on the punch line.

Claire frowned at him. "Don't hurt my baby, Jack," she said. Her eyes were glazed over, she looked exhausted, and she was sitting stiffly by a large knife.

Jack chuckled but was actually terrifed. "Weirdo."

"_Ja-ack_. Come _on_. I _know_ I saw the future," she said. It seemed to be haunting her.

"Welp... I sure don't think you did," Jack said bluntly.

Claire stood up and glared at Jack, putting her small hands on her small hips. "And why's that?"

"Because every single pregnant woman I have ever known thought the same exact thing," he lied. It was easier to lie than to explain. Jack did a bored and exasperated eye-roll to show off his superiority.

"Yeah, right," Claire said, rolling her eyes right back at him for revenge. He didn't notice.

"_Yeah, right_," Jack said. "_Very_ right... I think that pregnant women are all compulsive liars." He was still lying. He didn't really think that. He wondered what was wrong with Claire.

"Jack!" Claire exclaimed. "Bugger! What is _wrong _with you?"

Jack glared at her. "What's wrong with _you_? Huh? I mean, it's one thing to _want_ attention, another completely to pretend to be in danger for it!"

Claire gaped at him. "It's not me who's in danger, it's my baby. And I think you're just a big old dropkick, you know?" She stood up, huffing in anger. Jack felt slightly remorseful.

Jack huffed back at her. "Okay, you little brat. Think what you want, I don't care."

Claire walked to the door of the caves and stood there dramatically, glaring at Jack. "I hate you!"

Jack glared right back, equally dramatic. "I hate _you_, too. I wish you never were born!"

At that, Claire turned around and stomped right out of the caves.

A moment later, Charlie ran in. "Hey Claire! I brought flowers for you! Wait, where's Claire?" He looked around, puzzled.

Jack chuckled. "She left just a minute ago. Why, you in love with her or something?"

Charlie stared at the ground, completely still except for his fingers, which were moving around rapidly. He took much to long to answer. "No!"

Jack laughed, and picked up his doctor bag, ready to go, but Charlie turned around first.

"I'm gonna go find her! She's not fit to tromp through the jungle alone!"

Jack stood there and watched Charlie leave. He bit his lip. Why didn't anyone believe that she was delusional! "DANG IT!"

...

Hurley walked up to Ethan Rom, who was chopping down trees. Hurley prepared to ask him the questions. He had them by memory by now.

"Hey, Ethan!" Hurley said. Ethan looked up from his ax. He looked very high-strung right now. But at the same time, almost drunk.

"Hello Hurley. I am chopping trees down for firewood. Humans do that, right?"

Hurley laughed. "Haha, yup. I've gotta ask you some questions to see if you _are _human, but you'll probably pass. Everyone does." Luckily Dave wasn't there to hear that.

"... Okay," Ethan muttered. "Hmmm..."

Hurley cleared his throat professionally and held his pencil at the ready. "Okay, dude. How old are you?"

Ethan's eyes widened. "I... um... forgot."

Hurley stared. Was it possible that maybe... Ethan _was_ a monster? He wrote down the answer without taking his eyes off the... being.

"Okay, dude. Um... Why were you in Australia?"

Ethan stared at Hurley, his mouth closed tight in a straight line. "I was feeding my cat."

Hurley was very taken aback. That old excuse? Everyone used that one. So... was he really not human? Hurley was on guard now. "Okay, dude, um, what's your favorite food?"

Ethan answered too quickly. "Bloo– Spaghetti bolognese." Whoa!

Hurley glared at him. Writing down the suspicious answer, he never took his eyes off Ethan. "Okay dude, are you human, dude?" he asked, knowing that the answer would be yes. The only person that _hadn't_ said yes had been Locke, who hadn't even answered.

Ethan took long, deep breaths and looked at Hurley for a long time. "Why, yes. Can't you see that I am breathing? Humans breathe, right? Haha."

"Dude... yeah, they do."

"Good. Now, I'm tired. I need to go to sleep now."

Hurley glared at him some more. "You can sleep when you're dead!"

Ethan coughed. "No, I really should be going now... or you. You know, I'm hungry."

Hurley gasped. Ethan was no doubt hungry for blood! He had to get away from him now, or he'd no doubt be killed.

Hurley took several steps backwards before turning around and sprinting away. Dave had been right! Ethan watched him go, and realized that it was _almost_ time to take drastic actions.

...

Claire stomped through the jungle, carrying her bag of supplies for living. It swung over her shoulder behind, bumping repeatedly into her back, but she went on anyway.

"If you look closely at her, you can plainly see the tears on her face."

"Jack upset her more then she let on, I guess."

Two men, Jacob and Barry, watched her curiously from the trees. They lived on the island, and had for years. Jacob was its protector, Barry was it's alarm system, and their other brother, Seth, was its weapon. But Jacob and Barry didn't really associate with Seth. Jacob looked over at his evil brother.

"So, Barry, is she, like, the girl that Seth wants to get at?" he asked. Barry always knew all the latest gossip. He got it from spying on people like this all the time. Jacob wasn't quite used to watching the survivors yet.

Barry nodded. "Yeah. And by the way, I hate you right now, bro."

"Mmmhmm?" Jacob was staring at Claire, not listening to Barry. Barry's moods changed like the seasons, four times a year. Jacob could hardly keep up with it.

"Yup."

"I hope he doesn't kill her like that last girl. She was _hot_," Jacob said, remembering how a couple years ago, maybe the seventies, there had been a team of French people. Seth killed all the sexy ones.

Barry shrugged, and said, "Hey, he _is _a freak. I hate _him,_ too."

Jacob frowned. "What's with all this hate, man?"

Now Barry frowned. "Sorry, bro, I'm having a lousy day."

Jacob nodded. "Yeah... I feel for you."

They glared down at Claire, wondering why Seth did what he did. Maybe he was sick? Was he just a bully? Or...

"Maybe he's still angry at Mom," Barry said. Jacob shook his head, mildly confused.

"I thought _you _were the one that hated her? I mean, you killed her."

"Ouch!" Barry said, putting a hand over his heart. " And then you killed _me_."

Jacob squirmed around uncomfortably. "Hey, sorry, man, I was being dumb," he admitted. He didn't want to fight with Barry anymore.

"I know... we all made mistakes..."

"Yet here we are..." Jacob smiled at his brother, who smiled back.

"If only Seth wasn't so obsessed with killing people and corrupting babies. _That_ would be great," Barry said.

Jacob snorted. "Yeah man, like that would ever happen. _Pff_."

Barry frowned. "Well, like, maybe it could? You know? We could like, change him. You dig?"

"Nah. Let's leave him alone. He gives me the chills, dog."

Barry nodded. "Okay. We'll leave him for now... But one day..."

"We'll stop him."

...

_FLASHBACK_

_Claire, now eight months pregnant, waddled up to the psychic's house. Bobby and Freddie were gone. They had left her, just like Thomas._

_She toddled up to the door and knocked. A minute later, a sleepy looking Richard Malkin answered her. He was wearing his pajamas._

_Rubbing his eyes, he smiled. "Why, hello, Claire! Come in, come in."_

_Claire stepped in nervously. "I was wondering if you could tell me my future again..."_

_Richard Malkin smiled at her warmly. "Sure can. Let me go make my bed first."_

_Claire looked questioningly down at her watch. It was 3:00 PM. How had he just woken up? She sat down on her old armchair and waited for him. _

_Half-an-hour later, he came back into the room, holding his dolls. He set them up carefully. _

_"Okay, Claire, today I am going to try a different way of telling the future. I need you to knock me out, then I'll have a dream of your future. After ten minutes, wake me up."_

_Claire stared. "Ookay. Um... what are the dolls for?"_

_"They look cool, don't they?" _

_Claire stared. "Um, how do I wake you up?"_

_"You'll figure it out. Okay, here's a frying pan. Knock me out."_

_Claire took the pan timidly. Malkin knelt down and stuck his head out. "Okay, go!"_

_Claire swung the pan and knocked him out. He collapsed to the ground. Claire threw the pan down in disgust, and it landed with a "THUNK" on Richard's head._

_She sat down on the ground next to him, watching curiously. He was muttering to himself._

_"Mhmm... liars... goo"_

_Claire stared. It continued like this for almost ten minutes. Claire frantically shook him awake when it was time._

_"Hey! Wake up!" she yelled at him when he didn't respond immediately. He sat up, rubbing his eyes again, looking disoriented. _

_"Oh, my head... ouch..."_

_"What did you see?"_

_"What?" Richard stumbled over to the chair and fell down into it. "Oh yeah, that... um."_

_"So!"_

_"Um... you're baby... is in danger?"_

_Claire gasped. She walked over to him. "What! How!" she asked. She didn't know if she should believe him or not. Her baby seemed fine._

_"If you um, don't raise it yourself... I um... I dunno, it'll be corrupted. Or something. My aching head..."_

_"Oh. My. God. How do I save it?" she asked. _

_"Er... I dunno... Just raise it by yourself. And don't give it up for adoption. It's the only way to save it. Yeah." He closed his eyes, breathing shallowly. _

_"But... I was scheduled to give it away. I have a meeting tomorrow about it, you know," Claire told him, her entire world shattered. Now what could she do about her baby? Raise it herself? But she had to, or it would be corrupt. Claire felt faint._

_"Well... Don't sign the form. Okay? Now can you go?"_

_"But... I need to give it up... I can't be a single mom!" Richard didn't seem to be hearing her. He was holding his head, looking very sickly. _

_"Please leave. You need to raise the baby. I'm anti-adoption. Now go."_

_Claire stumbled out, afraid. "O-okay..."_

_She left his house, terrified._

_THAT NIGHT _

_Claire was in bed, when someone called her on the phone. She picked it up on the first ring, as always, without checking the Caller ID._

_"Thomas?" she said hopefully._

_"No, it's Malkin. Anyway, I need to tell you something."_

_"For your information, I need to give up the baby–"_

_"Listen, I made the whole thing up, I'm a fraud," he said._

_"What!" Claire didn't understand. Did everyone hate her? Richard had duped her. Thomas left her for a cult. Freddie and Bobby, her best friends, left without saying good-bye._

_"I lied," Richard said, casting a thick layer of ice over Claire's betrayed heart. "I can't tell the future. It's impossible. Now good-bye."_

_"No, you need to explain right now!"_

_He hung up, no explanation or apology given . Claire lay back in bed and cried herself to sleep._

_..._

Hurley stumbled to the beach again, gasping for breath. He had narrowly escaped an Ethan attack. Ethan... was very likely a vampire. Hurley was so distressed he stumbled right into Shannon.

"Eew! Hurley, get off of me!" Shannon pushed him away. Hurley looked at her with crazed eyes.

"Okay, dude, how old are you why were you in Australia what's you're favorite food are you human–"

"AAAAAAH!" Shannon started screaming, walking slowly away from Hurley, who was grabbing for her. "AAAAH! HE'S INSANE! HELP ME!"

Hurley laughed creepily as Boone walked up slowly, cautiously. Hurley leered at him.

"Are you human, dude? How old are you? Why were you in–"

Boone kicked Hurley away nervously, mumbling something like "Kira will get you!" and grabbed Shannon's arm. He pulled her away from Hurley, but still stood there, staring at Hurley. He seemed to be waiting for instructions.

"I helped you, Shan. Now can I go! He's sca-ring , me!"

Shannon nodded. "Yes! Let's run!" They ran off, away from Hurley, who pouted, feeling suddenly like he had been acting completely insane. He glared at Dave, who was suddenly there.

"That approach did not work, dude. I didn't get _any_ answers from them."

Dave laughed, clapping his hands. "Then they must be vampires, Hurley. Or they _will be_ vampires in the future."

Hurley frowned in puzzlement. "You know, you're crazy, Dave. And I really _don't_ believe that Seth sent you."

"Blah blah blah. Not this again! Sheesh, you're like a broken record, man."

Hurley crossed his arms. "Go away, you're no fun."

Dave stuck his tongue out at Hurley in an annoying way. "Okay, fine. I will. But believe me, you'll regret doubting me in the future. You really will."

Hurley stalked off, away from Dave. He crumpled up his notebook and threw it away. He walked over to Sawyer aimlessly.

"Hey, dude, sorry I'm insane."

Sawyer looked up from his weird book, _Liar _by Justine Larbalestier, and smiled at Hurley, puzzled.

"Well, I'm sorry, too... But... I really don't think you're insane."

"... Really?" Hurley asked. "But... I was going around asking if people were human. I stab people with my dagger. I _am_ insane!"

Sawyer shook his head. "This is the island, Hurley, so you're not crazy, you're just weird. Anyway, if you wanna see if someone's human or not, just check the flight manifest."

"It says if they are or not. Here, let me give it to you..." Sawyer rummaged through his bag recklessly. Finally, he found the manifest. "Here you go."

Hurley took it into his hands timidly. He started reading it, finding the part that said what species they were.

"Human, human, human, human... dog, human, human, human... Hmmmm. It looks like everyone's a human."

Sawyer smiled at him, dimples glowing on his handsome face. "Good. That's a relief, I bet." He settled back down to read his book. Then Hurley gasped. Sawyer looked up and frowned. "What is it?"

"Dude! DUDE! Someone's not on the manifest! Someone... They weren't on the plane... Sawyer!"

Sawyer looked at Hurley with wide eyes. "WHAT! Who?"

Hurley took a deep breath. "It... it's..."

...

Claire a stalked through the jungle, crying. Jack had been terrible to her. She wasn't lying! Oh, how she longed for someone to believe her, to love her... to be with her. It started raining. She shivered, hugging her arms. She wished that Thomas hadn't turned evil. That she could have a father for her child... Someone to protect them both.

"Claire! Claire!" Claire whipped around. Someone... some _British _one, was calling for her. She waved at Charlie, who was carrying now-wet flowers.

"Hey, Claire, there you are! I was looking all over for you... I was worried."

Claire smiled shyly at him. She was nervous. She was lost. But she was no longer alone. Even if it was Charlie-the-incapable-of-understanding-rejection. "Charlie..."

"I... um... brought flowers." Charlie blushed. What had seemed like a cool idea now seemed incredibly stupid. "Not that you'd want them... right?"

Claire grimaced, and said, "It's okay. It's just... my last boyfriend left me when I was six months pregnant and I don't wanna repeat it ever again..."

Charlie stared, like he suddenly understood. Maybe all Claire had needed to do was explain. Maybe he'd leave her alone now! But did she want to be alone? she suddenly wondered.

"Well, I won't pressure you, don't worry. Anyway, _my _last girlfriend hated me because I was on... never mind!"

Claire was puzzled. "Whatever..." she sighed.

They stood there for awhile, saying nothing, when suddenly she felt like she was having contractions. "Ugh!" she said. She stumbled to the ground, gasping. "I... I'm having my..."

Charlie automatically went into panic-mode. "What! Whadda I do! I've never delivered a baby before! I'm not a doctor! Oh, worry worry worry!"

Claire's breathing was more like heaving, and she grasped her stomach with her small hands. "Charlie... it's contractions..."

"Oh!" Charlie said, freaked out and not thinking straight. "Um... do not... don't! Will not... won't! Can not... can't! Um... um... anymore? Um..."

Claire felt like punching him. "No!" she said sharply. "Not that kind! Aren't I supposed to count them or something!"

Charlie felt like he had been punched. "Oh! Yeah!"

Claire moaned. "Count them for me... I'm in too much pain...!"

Charlie was sweating heavily, and rain pelted down on them from above. He stuttered out some counting. "Uh... one sugarplum fairy... two sugarplum fairies..."

Claire screamed in agony and despair. "WHY! CHARLIE, WHY! Come on! I just... OUCH! BUGGER!"

Charlie felt like he had to vomit. "Come on, Pace," he said to himself. "You kicked drugs, you can deliver a child... but I had help with the drugs..." He moaned.

"WHAT!" Claire screamed. "ARRGH... go get help! Jack!"

"I'm Charlie!" He flailed around helplessly.

"GET JACK!" she screamed, panting, and Charlie ran off to find him.

_FLASHBACK_

_Claire sat it a chair on the meeting room. Two intimidating people sat in front of her with frowns. One was a young woman who was tiny and cute. She had blond hair. The other person was a solemn but attractive young man. They were both Asian._

_Another man was at the meeting, too. He was old and balding, and he looked like he was laughing at them._

_"So," he sniggered, "Please sign these papers. Once you have done so, the baby will belong to them. Not," he sniggered again, "you." _

_Claire bit her lip. "Um, okay... but, well, I'm not sure if I want to..."_

_The woman looked peeved. "What do you mean, you're not sure? Come on! You already pretty much agreed to give it to us!"_

_"Please," said the young man to his wife. He held up a hand. "Enough."_

_She stared at him with admiration. "I _

_Claire sighed, remembering Thomas. He had been so awesome and cute. She wished so much that he could be here with her._

_"Okay, gimme the papers," she said, on the verge of tears. "I'll sign them"_

_The old man sniggered loudly, and handed them to her, whispering "I hate you". Claire blushed._

_"Um, may I have a pen?" she asked. The man chuckled. _

_"Yeah!" he picked up a marker from the floor. It was ugly and florescent pink. Claire recoiled visibly, but still took it and started writing her name._

_"Ooookay. C-L-A–" she paused. "It's out of ink."_

_The young man cleared his throat. He handed her a new pen. "Try this."_

_She took it. She tried writing down her name again. "Um, this one's all out, too."_

_"What?" said the woman. "Really? That's freaky. Here, wait a minute."_

_She rummaged through her purse and pulled out a kooky pen. It's name was Thomas. Claire glared at it. She hated it. But she took it anyway._

_"C-L-A-R-E... Woops! I missed a letter." The pen's bright green ink was distracting her. The old guy sniggered. _

_"No do-overs. You failed. You have to leave now," he said. The couple immediately stood up in a towering rage._

_"WHAT!" they shouted. "No fair! We want a baby, mister!"_

_The guy ran out of the room, laughing so hard he could hardly even breathe. The young woman started crying._

_"It's... not... fair..." she sobbed. He husband patted her back._

_"It's okay," he said, glaring at Claire, who started backing out of the room._

_"I'm sorry, I have to go right now. Bye!" she ran out. She needed to visit the psychic again._

_..._

Sayid Jarrah (remember him?) tromped through the jungle with a cane. He had milk on his face and was munching on a cookie.

As he walked, he heard whispers in the jungle, and smiled serenely. "Oh, shut up, Michael," he said, glad that he was almost home. "Ladedadada..." he said, skipping. He couldn't WAIT to tell Kate about the Others! And about Alex! And the maps! He'd discovered so much over the last week.

He walked into the caves, a smile on his face. Maybe there had been something in those cookies. He was feeling unusually happy."Oh Ja-ack! Kaaate! I'm ba-ack!" he shouted. Kate and Jack ran over. Jack was shirtless. Kate's hair was messed up. They were both covered in lipstick.

Sayid raised his eyebrows. "It's me!" he said. Jack frowned.

"I hate you!" he said yelled. Sayid took a shocked step away from him, his good mood dissolving like... something that dissolves.

"Why?"

Kate glared at Jack. "Jack, be nice. It's Sayid."

Jack nodded. "I know. I hate Sayid."

"Well than," Sayid said. "You're a waste of my freakin' time, Jack." He smiled at Kate, who beamed back at him.

"Sayid," she whispered, glaring at Jack out of the corner of her eye. "Wanna make-out?"

Sayid was just about to say yes, please, when Hurley ran in.

"JACK! JACK!" he yelled. Jack looked at him and rolled his eyes.

"What, Hurley," he asked, with no question mark. Hurley took a deep breath.

"I checked the manifest. Someone's name wasn't on it, Jack!"

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Huh?"

Hurley hopped up and down. "Their name wasn't on it! They weren't on the plane!" Hurley shouted. Kate, Sayid, and Jack gasped.

"Oh gosh," Kate said in a shrill voice. "Who was it? Who wasn't on the plane?"

Hurley stared at her. "It was... it was..."

...

"OY! ETHAN!" Charlie yelled. He had been trying to find Jack for Claire, but he had found Ethan instead. Oh well, good enough. "Ethan!"

Ethan looked up, smiling creepily. "Hello, Charlie. What do you need?"

Charlie smiled back, not nearly as creepily. "Because you are such a nice human, can you please go get Jack? Claire's having her baby!"

Ethan's eyes glowed with greed. They were black. He was hungry. "Yes, I will certainly go get Jack and not get my thugs and blindfolds."

Charlie smiled innocently. "You're the best, you know that? Now I can go hang with Claire 'til you get back. You ROCK!"

He turned around and ran back to Claire. It had stopped raining, but the contractions hadn't stopped. "Oh... Charlie..." she gasped. "Where's Jack?"

Charlie smiled. "Coming. Ethan's fetching him. Now take deep breaths, Claire."

He helped her breathe, and she thought of the past.

_[YET ANOTHER] FLASHBACK _

_Claire ran-flat-out-like-a-lizard-drinking into the psychic's house. She didn't even knock, just barged in._

_She ran into his living room, searching, searching, searching... "Where IS it?" she yelled in despair. _

_The psychic wasn't home, which she was very happy about. She looked under the armchair._

_"AHA!" she yelled. "Found it!" It was a ticket for Flight 815. She need to catch that flight. _

_Last night she had had a dream in which her baby was raised happily and amazingly by a couple from LA, and she just knew that it was the future. She needed to catch this flight, because she had seen herself use this very ticket in her dream. She knew it was the future... she could just tell._

_Suddenly, she heard the door creak open. She gasped. Shoving the ticket into her pocket, she ran as fast as her stomach would allow towards the other door._

_"Where are _you_ going?" Malkin yelled, running at her. "THIEF!" She dodged his arms with ease, and hopped out the door. She took the steps two at a time and leapt into her getaway car. The driver pulled off, and they listened joyfully to the psychic fraud shout at them from his steps._

_"Come back! Give me my plane ticket!"_

_Claire smirked, and looked at the driver of the car with a satisfied smile. _

_"Thanks, Anthony."_

_"No problem, Claire."_

_They drove off to Claire's doomed flight._

_..._

Back in the present, Claire's breathing was beginning to go back to normal, and the contractions appeared to have stopped completely. Charlie smiled at her when she told him.

"That's brilliant!" he exclaimed, and she beamed with happiness.

"Looks like we won't need Jack after all. He's a dag, anyway."

Charlie nodded, exhilarated. "He sure is. I... I think you're really cool, Claire."

Claire blushed, and stood up. "R-really?" she said. He nodded.

Claire finally saw that Charlie was being completely honest. He wasn't trying to use her. He actually liked her. Claire grinned, really grinned, for the first time in months.

"Charlie, you're really cool, too." The resulting smile on his face was amazing to Claire, who didn't know that he cared so much what she thought about him.

They began walking through the jungle, back to the caves. "Whew... today's been busy..." Claire muttered. "I'm tired."

Charlie laughed. "It's not even lunch time, Claire! By the way, want some jelly?"

"Well, of course, Charlie," she said, and he grinned.

"Well, let's go back to the beach, then. That's where it is."

Claire giggled. "Okay... turn around, Charlie... the beach is the other way."

They smiled at each other. Charlie was incredibly happy that Claire was over whatever had been going on with her. He loved her so much. They turned around together, holding hands.

Ethan stood there staring at them, greed in his eyes, and blood dripping from his fangs.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_"

LOST  
Next Episode: _Jack Has Issues_


	8. Jack Has Issues

**Jack Has Issues**  
**A Jack episode**  
**RATED Z because I **_**like **_**that letter.**  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

Jack stared at Hurley, shocked. WHAT HAD HE JUST SAID! _No no no no no_. He couldn't be right... it wasn't possible... but... Jack had to check.

Because really, how could this be? He needed to see the manifest, he couldn't trust what Hurley said, he decided.

"Hurley, give me the manifest, NOW!" Jack ordered loudly. Hurley pulled the manifest out of his pocket with a grim frown on his face. He was shaking with fear.

"Here, read it, Jack! See for yourself!"

Jack grabbed it, and looked down the list as fast as he could.

"Ethan Rom..._ Ethan Rom_... where's his name! DANG IT!" Jack threw the manifest down to the ground, freaked out more than he thought was possible for him. "We're screwed. He's not on here!"

Kate gasped. Sayid bit his lip sharply, obviously thinking of a plan. But that was Jack's job. Jack didn't know whether or not to listen to what he had to say but it was impossible not to.

"Well, I think we should go get Ethan and I..." Sayid paused, "I'll torture him into giving us information..." Kate stared.

"Okay... but Sayid–"

Just then, there was a horrible, blood-curling scream from the jungle. Kate gasped.

"That sounded like... THAT WAS CLAIRE!" Kate screamed, tears in her eyes all of sudden. She chided herself for reacting like this_. Don't be silly, _she told herself, _She'll be fine_. But Kate really was worried for her friend.

Jack felt a sudden pang of horror, and guilt... last time he'd seen Claire, he'd... he'd been a jerk. And now Ethan was on the loose.

"We have to go get her!" he yelled. Sayid nodded, determined.

"Yes! You and Kate find Claire, and I'll get Ethan." Sayid knew about the Others, and contemplated telling Jack about them, then he remembered what the first thing that Jack had said to him when he got back was... _"I hate you!" _Sayid decided that he would leave them to worry. He picked up his walking stick and started limping out of the caves.

"Sayid, wait!" said Kate. "Don't go out... you're hurt!"

Sayid shrugged. "It's okay, Kate I'm fine." Jack glared at him for talking to her.

"Go!" he told him. But just then, Locke walked into the caves, carrying a blood stained pink bag, and a clump of blond hair.

"Jack, Kate, Sayid... I found these when I was walking through the jungle exploring... they were just lying there. Looks like someone's been hurt."

Kate gasped. "What! That's Claire's bag!" Jack nodded.

"What happened?" he wondered out loud. Kate held back her tears and took a deep breath. She looked at Hurley, who was standing there nervously.

"Hurley, earlier today you asked if I was a human... you asked everyone. Was anyone _not a _human?" She shivered at the very thought of that.

Hurley thought for a moment. "Well, Ethan was being really suspicious... He said he was hungry, and he think he's a vampire."

Ordinarily Jack would have laughed cruelly at this, but today was very different. "Guys, go get Charlie. He'll be freaked out, he's in love with her." He didn't want to say Claire's name out loud...

"I'll go tell him!" said Kate, "He's my best friend..." And she skipped off, going as fast as she could. Hurley stared after her, thinking that maybe she was deeper than she let on most of the time. Actually... nah.

Locke frowned. "We should go look around in the jungle for Claire... she could just be lost?"

Jack grimaced. "Yeah, we should go... Hurley, stay here in case she comes back, and Sayid, go back to Ethan's tent. If he's not there," he tossed him a walkie talkie, "call me."

Sayid nodded, "Okay, got it. You know Jack... be careful out there." His eyes strayed for a second onto Locke. Jack nodded, understanding.

"I will, don't worry, Jarrah. Let's go!"

They ran off in their separate directions.

...

Kate ran down the beach, looking for Charlie. Most days he could be found playing his guitar on the beach, staring at the ocean, or perhaps stalking Claire. But today, he had been trying to solve the mystery of who was after Claire... Kate wondered if Charlie knew the answer yet.

"Charlie!" she yelled, jumping over a shocked Shannon's long tan legs, "CHARLIE!" Where _was_ he!

"You lookin' for Charlie, Freckle?" asked Sawyer, who was sitting outside the library reading, as usual. Today he was reading _Ancient Vampire Curses_. He held back his tears about the cruelty of them all and concentrated on the situation at hand.

"Yeah, have you seen him!" Kate asked. "Because Claire's gone missing, and I know Charlie would want to help find her!"

Sawyer bit his lip, concerned. "Last I saw him, he was picking flowers for her. Said that Claire liked daffodils, and then he ran off to the caves."

Kate scrunched up her face, worried. "But... hmmm... He's not at the caves! Jack and I have been there all morning..."

Sawyer nodded, knowing that this was not the time to be jealous. "Well, Charlie could have gotten lost. You know how he is... The nargles..."

"Yeah, I know," Kate's voice cracked. "He's my best friend." And he was probably being eaten by vampires right now, along with Claire. Kate shuddered.

"Freckle," Sawyer said, reaching out to her but not touching. He wanted to help her. "Are you okay?"

Kate held back her tears and nodded. "Yeah, Sawyer. I'm fine." And she ran back into the jungle.

...

Sayid ran to the beach, too, and passed Kate on her way out. He noticed that Charlie wasn't with her and suspected the worst. "Oh gosh," he said. "Charlie's gone too..."

He ran onto the beach and walked straight to Ethan's tent. "ETHAN!" he shouted. Ethan wasn't there. "ETHAN ROM!"

Ethan didn't come. Sayid kicked the sand, and it flew right into the eyes of none other than Boone, who was sitting right next to the tent.

"OUCH!" he yelled. "OUCHIE OUCHIE OUCH!" He flailed around, eyes shut tight, and moaned. "Sayid... you are such a meanie-butt..."

Sayid frowned. He helped Boone up. As Boone blinked the sand out, Sayid decided to try and question him about Ethan.

"Boone, have you seen Ethan this morning?

Boone nodded, rubbing his eyes. "Yeah, I _guess_ so. He was running across the beach, and he got a rope and that Hawaiian guy... I think his name's George? I always called him Fred. As in-"

"–The other Weasley twin, yes. I get it. Thank you for your... helpful... information, Boone." Boone frowned at him.

"Hey, you interrupted a _master _here. Man, you are _so_ strange, Sayid." He rolled his eyes, as if enjoying a private joke. Sayid clenched his teeth.

"Where's your sister?"

"My gorgeous twin Shannon is asleep," Boone lied, smirking. Sayid stared.

"You're twins!"

"Haha no."

Sayid clenched his fists. And his toes. He was very frustrated with Boone. He couldn't help but resent him a bit after the ordeal that he had caused a week ago.

"Please lead me to Shannon, Boone, now," Sayid said. Boone just pointed behind him, to where Shannon was sunbathing on the seashore. She was wearing a pretty pink bikini, and was wide awake. Sayid was angry because he admired her, when he was supposed to be in love with Nadia. Oh well... Shannon was here, and Nadia was who knows where.

"Shannon," said Sayid. She looked up, and smiled.

"You're back!" She sat up, and grabbed her towel. "I missed you." She was being completely honest. She _had_ missed him.

"Shannon, did you happen to see where Ethan ran off to earlier?"

Shannon nodded, thinking back. "Yeah, he jumped over my legs. He ran into the East side of the jungle with that Hawaiian guy... I think his name was Buzz? I always called him Woody, though, because-"

"-Of the toys in Toy Story, I _get_ it. Um, thank you." Sayid looked off into the jungle, and then back at Shannon, and wished so much that he could stay here with her. Then he remembered he had to call Jack.

He got out the walkkie talkkie and called him. Jack picked up at once.

"Sayid! Is he there?"

"No," Sayid answered. "He's not. Apparently he ran into the jungle with a Hawaiian man."

"Oh yeah, Near! I always call him Mello, 'cause of the-"

"-Young detectives in Death Note. That's stupid. Now. Back on topic."

"Um, yes. Well, Locke and I are still walking to the jungle. We had an argument earlier about science and faith, but we're over it for now."

"Well, my leg is hurt, so I'm going to stay here with..." Sayid paused, and smiled. "Shannon."

"Grrr. Fine... Actually, it's not Kate, so great! 'K, gotta go." Jack hung up. Sayid grinned at Shannon.

"I can stay here with you now," he told her as he put away the walkkie talkkie. She smiled, surprised.

"Wow! Thanks. I was lonely, with only _him_," she gestured towards Boone,"For company."

Sayid sat down next to her. And he told himself that for now, he should forget about Nadia.

...

Jack and Locke finally made it to the jungle. They were walking as far away from each other as the narrowly spaced trees would allow.

"Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you," Jack told the Bald. Locke smiled and laughed.

"And I really don't care. I'm right, you're wrong, get over it already."

Jack snorted. "As if you could be right... _Pff_... destiny is just a silly idea made up by stupid dumb people." He kicked a tree.

Locke laughed. "'Stupid dumb people', huh?" But before Jack could yell at him for laughing, they came across a bouquet of wet daffodils. They stared.

"That's the..." Jack started, shocked. "That's the bouquet Charlie had for Claire."

Locke smiled. "It's covered in blood. Oh well, who cares if Charlie might be de-"

Before Locke could finish his sentence, Jack leapt at him. He grabbed the Bald's neck and squeezed as hard as he could.

"Don't you dare insult my friends, John!" he yelled. Locke gasped for air that he couldn't get.

"He's- agrh... yer friend?" he spluttered.

Jack let go with anger, fists clenched tight. "I don't know... JUST SHUT UP!"

Locke coughed and gasped for breath. He glared at Jack. "I... personally... hated him..."

Jack stared at him with pure hatred. "Of course you did," he said, and he slapped John across the face. "You hate everyone!"

"Nope, not Claire, not Walt, and _not_ Seth," said Locke, and he turned around. "Well, now that it seems obvious that they've both been kidnapped by Ethan, I'm gonna go get a team to search for them with me. It'll be easier with more people."

Jack glared at him. That had been _his _idea! Oh well... "Well, I'm gonna go search on my own right now!" he exclaimed, trying to be different from Locke. John stalked off, and Jack impulsively ran further into the jungle.

...

FLASHBACK

_Jack was in the surgery room, thumping forcefully on someone's chest._

_"COME ON! BREATHE!" Jack was yelling. The other surgeons looked at him nervously._

_"Um, doctor-" said a young nurse, but Jack kept yelling._

_"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE!" Jack yelled at the dying patient, who moaned. Just then, the Chief of Surgery walked into the room, holding a glass of beer in one had and a knife in the other._

_"Hey, kiddo," said Christian Shephard. He knocked Jack aside, away from the patient, and took a swig of alcohol. "Whew! Oh, she's dyin'. Lemme save 'er."_

_Jack glared at his obviously drunk father with hatred. "No, dad. Just no. I'll save her! I'm in charge today!"_

_Christian laughed cruelly. "As if you could do sssssuch a thang!" he slurred as he chuckled. "Lemme, boy!"_

_He walked over to the patient, and held out his knife. The other doctors looked away, cringing._

_"No, dad!" Jack yelled. "I'll save her! I'm a better doctor!"_

_Christian shook his head. "Nope. I AM!" He flailed his knife around and finished his beer._

_"Who let you in here, anyway?" Jack asked rudely. Christian looked at his son with glazed eyes._

_"I dunno, me I guess. Be respectful." He took the knife and stabbed the dying woman with a laugh. No one saw him do it, but they knew it had happened._

_"BEEEEEEEEEEEP!" said the machine, showing that she was now dead. Christian left the room. Jack just stood and stared, shocked. _

_..._

Locke made it back to the caves within minutes. He looked around for helpers, but he only saw Michael and Sully so he waited. He swore to himself, wishing for Sayid or some other cool person. Maybe Kate?

Kate was sulking through the jungle, crying. Not on guard, she didn't notice Boone following her.

"Ohhh..." she moaned. Boone crept up behind her and leapt. Grabbing her shoulders, he managed to secure a seat on her shoulders.

"_YEE_-HA!" he exclaimed. Kate fell to the ground with a loud thump. She lay in a tangled heap of her and Boone's limbs.

"Oof!" She pushed Boone off, hard, and he started whining.

"I don't wanna walk any more..." he moaned. "Please let me ride on you."

Kate shook her head and stepped away from him. "_No way_. Why were you following me?"

Boone sighed. Pouting, he stared at Kate. "Well, you see, I'm tired of not being a cool person. I'm tired of being bullied by people like Sayid and Sawyer, too... I thought that if I hung out with you, I would become cool by association."

Kate snorted. "Um... yeah, right. Okay, I'm going to the caves. You can follow me if you want to..."

Boone smiled. "Alright!" As Kate walked through the jungle he jogged on behind her. Finally, after ten minutes of that, they got to the caves.

Locke's face lit up when he saw them "Boone! Kate!" he said, smiling. "Will you two come with me to look for Claire and Charlie?"

Kate's face fell, remembering the one time when she had gone hunting with The Bald. It was not a very good memory. But then again... this was now, not then, and Charlie and Claire needed to be saved.

"Yeah, I'll come," said Kate, thinking about all the good possible situations. Needless to say, they didn't involved Ethan.

Boone nodded, too. "Yeah, sure. If you really really would like me to, I'll come." He grinned, thoughtful. "It had better be fun, though."

Locke smiled back. "It will be."

...

Apikai, the Hawaiian man who had a Hawaiian name, dragged Charlie through the jungle, carefully following behind Ethan, who was holding Claire. And he smiled.

Charlie was unconscious. It had been easy for Apikai to render him so, because he had been so scared. Just one bonk on the head with the butt of Apikai's rifle and he was out cold.

The girl was harder, though. Ethan hadn't wanted her unconscious, so Apikai had just gagged her and put her in handcuffs, which Apikai had found on the beach the first day he'd been on the island. But she had been difficult and twisted around, screamed, and tried to run. They'd still gotten her, though.

As Ethan dragged along Claire, who was struggling for freedom, tears in her blue eyes, Apikai smiled and thought of something witty to say to impress him.

"So the other day, I saw this guy playing the guitar on the beach," Apikai told Ethan. Ethan laughed a high, cold laugh that didn't suit him. Apikai was chilled to the bones.

Ethan turned around and smiled at Apikai. "Yes, he was the bass player in Drive Shaft."

"Drive shaft? Is that a car part?"

"No, I meant it as in _you all everybody, you all everybody!_" Ethan did a mean but quite accurate imitation of Charlie's falsetto singing voice. Apikai laughed.

"Ahahaha!"

Ethan smiled his bone-chilling and Apikai stopped laughing. Suddenly, Ethan thrust out his arm, stopping Apikai from walking forward.

"Stop here," he told Apikai. Apikai stopped walking and laid Charlie down on the ground. It began raining again, ever so slightly. You might call it drizzling.

"What're we gonna do _here_?" Apikai asked, curious, looking around at the deserted clearing. All the trees around it were drooping down, making it even more disturbing. Ethan smiled creepily at Apikai.

"We're probably going to kill him..."

...

Back in the caves, Locke was preparing to set out with Boone and Kate. Walt heard them making plans, and ran to tell Michael.

"Michael!" he said, almost skipping. "I'm gonna go help find Charlie and Claire!" Michael looked up from his drawing book and shook his head.

"No way, Walt. No way." Walt's face fell immediately.

"How come you can tell me what I can do? I'm not gonna listen to you. I'm gonna go with them. MR. LOCKE!" he said. Michael's face paled.

"Walt, I'm NEVER gonna let you set off with such a creep. Not as long as I live. So boy, you had better cool it."

Walt glared at his father as Locke walked up.

"What is it, Walt?" he asked. Kate and Boone came up behind him, eager to find their friends.

"Yeah, what is it?" asked Boone, smirking at the sight of Michael. Michael was an id-i-ot.

Walt glared at them all. "Well, I wanna help you find Charlie and Claire. I can have Vincent sniff something of Charlie's, and he can track him down with us! We can do it!"

Locke bit his lip, thinking the idea over. "Hmmm... No."

"WHAT!"

"We have too many people, Walt, and you're just a boy."

Boone, feeling left out, frowned. "I'm a boy, too!"

Locke glanced at him as Kate muttered, "You're not help-ing" under her breath. Locke nodded at Boone.

"He's older than you, Walt. You could get lost in the jungle more easily than him."

Walt felt like crying. Everyone rejected him. Couldn't they see that he was brilliant? "But... Mr. Locke..."

"No."

Walt kicked some rocks at Boone, who whimpered, and he stalked off to the stream of water. Michael smiled at Locke.

"Welp, man, I will go with you now," he said. Locke frowned.

"Did you not hear me? I said we have enough people."

Boone sighed, bored. "Can we please go now?" he whined. Kate elbowed him.

"Shh!"

Boone frowned and played idly with a lock of his thick, dark hair, glaring at his feet. "Fine, I'll just shut up then."

Locke looked at Michael with contempt. "Michael, you can still look for them if you want. Just not with us."

Michael swore. It sounded very odd, coming from him, and Boone thought so too. He sniggered.

Locke smiled cruelly at Michael. "We're going East; I suggest you go West." And he turned around and left the caves. Kate rolled her eyes.

"That's just cruel..." she said, but she followed him anyway. Boone nodded.

"Yeah, that's just cruel." He thought if he just repeated her, he'd sound less annoying. And maybe even smarter.

"That's what I just said, Boone."

"Yeah, that's what you just said."

"SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!" snapped Locke, and they continued into the jungle.

...

Jack was running past the basketsballs court, when he was overcome by a flashback.

"GAA!" he yelled, because he knew what terrible memory he would soon be having. "DANG IT!"

_Jack and his father were in the hall of the hospital, shouting at each other. Christian was still drunk._

_"Jack, kiddo, that lady was already dying, I just put her out of her misery."_

_"Dad!" Jack yelled. "You MURDERED HER!"_

_"No, I didn't. She was already dying, son."_

_Jack kicked his dad's shins angrily. Christian didn't react to the pain, making Jack even angrier. "That is no excuse, Dad. It was MY surgery, anyway."_

_"No, Jack, they called on _me_, not you."_

_Jack bit his lip but had to stop right away to talk. "But you were an hour late!"_

_"Well, maybe if there was a freakin' bar in this hospital I wouldn't have been. I had to drive all the way across town intoxicated, Jack. I got some tickets. But I still made it!"_

_Jack swore. "That is SO wrong. YOU are so wrong. I HATE you!"_

_Jack's dad glared at his son. "I hate you too, Jack."_

_And he turned on his heel and stormed away._

Jack shook off the flashback, horrified. He did not want to think of this right now. He needed to concentrate on the current situation: Charlie and Claire were missing. And...

Jack realized just now that he had not eaten his Crunchy Flakes today. He had been trying to save them up; now it seemed that bad luck had struck him once again. Those darn Crunchy Flakes...

Jack completely blamed himself for the disappearance of the blondes. He had totally sent them out into the jungle, he had totally been mean to them, and he had totally trusted Ethan. Apparently, Ethan was a vampire... Jack couldn't make himself believe it, though.

Just then, Locke, Kate and Boone ran up to him. Kate, of course, looked gorgeous; Boone, annoying; and Locke, creepy. Jack stared at them, bewildered.

"How'd you find me?" he asked them. Kate looked him in the eye, biting her lip.

"You were running around in circles, Jack. Not exactly very good for searching for someone, but it made _you _easy to find." She gripped his arm possessively and gazed at him with those beautiful, beautiful brown eyes.

"Jack, we need to find them," Locke said, ignoring Kate's beauty completely.

Jack nodded. "John, how long will it take you to pick up the trail again?" he asked. Locke smiled, his eyes twinkling with good humor.

"Oh, anywhere from an hour to two days." Jack just stared.

"WHAT!"

"I'm only joking, Jack, jeez. I already found it."

Boone clapped his hands excitedly. "OH BOY! That's COOL! Now let's go find them, shall we?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah, let's GO!"

"YES!" exclaimed Locke. "Come on, Jack!"

But Jack was already on his way.

Back in the caves, Sawyer was stopping by to get some water. "Ahh," he said, looking at the delicious liquid thirstily. "I wonder if Charlie and Claire have water right now?"

Walt walked up, glaring at him. "No, they were kidnapped. By ETHAN."

Sawyer was shocked. "ETHAN! But, he was NICE!"

Walt shook his head. "It was all an act. He's a _vampire_."

Sawyer raised his eyebrows. "Uh-huh, okay... But why would he kidnap Charlie and Claire? They never did anything wrong, did they?" He scratched his head thoughtfully.

Walt shrugged. "Hurley told me that they had disrespected the island gods or something."

Sawyer held back his wry, dimpled smile by thinking of Charlie and Claire. "Yeah, well... that's Hurley for ya."

"I like Hurley, Mister!" Walt said.

"So do I. I'm just sayin'..." Sawyer took a sip of his water and sighed. "What's happened is unfortunate." He shook his head, and his light hair shook out from behind his ears. The picture of him standing there, looking at the sky with his tragic, dark blue eyes, was so perfect that Walt could only stare. Then he realized that that was weird and quickly changed the subject.

"Yep. So, Sayid's back."

Sawyer turned to the boy and froze. "... Sayid? When'd he get back?"

Walt smiled. "Earlier today. He's wounded."

Sawyer had an odd expression on his face, perhaps remembering being tortured by Sayid. "Well... I ought to pay him a visit, then..."

Walt stared. "Sawyer! You're not gonna kill him?"

Sawyer walked away, glaring. "No, I won't."

...

Locke was walking through the jungle, tying long, wet pieces of spaghetti to the tall jungle trees. It was so the small group could find their way back to the camp when they were done searching for Charlie and Claire.

"So do you think we'll find them then?" Boone asked the Bald. Locke was not paying attention. He looked up from his work absentmindedly.

"Who?" he asked, rubbing some dirt off his chin.

"You know... PB&J. The moth and the butterfly. The Aussie and the Brit." Locke looked confused. "_Charlie and Claire_."

"Of course we will, Boone. Who came up with all those nicknames, anyway?" Locke asked. He tightened the noodle before moving onto the next tree. To Jack, it seemed like he was paying more attention to finding their way back then finding their way at all. Jack growled.

"Multiple fan sites," Boone told Locke. Jack spluttered.

"Fan sites? For WHO?" He remembered that Charlie was in a band; he hadn't known that Claire was famous, too, though.

"Us! The Oceanic 815 survivors!" Boone answered, flailing. Jack took a step back in surprise. How did they-

Locke gasped, aghast. "How did they-"

Boone smiled at his now attentive audience. Everyone was listening except for Kate, who was looking for clues. He liked the attention, it felt good. "I dunno. All I know is that I can't use the normal web here, but I sure as heck can use this other internet called the "Othernet".

Jack stared, "'Other internet'? How?"

Boone shrugged. "I just don't know how. It's just so cool though. It's full of fan sites of us. It even, you know, _ships _us. Creepy, huh? Like, there is, you know, _Jate_."

They stared.

Jack then groaned and glared at Locke. "Why'd you bring him along, John? Why?" Jack didn't want to hear about fan sites about him and Kate. He wanted clues to where the "moth and the butterfly" were. Not this.

Locke glared right back at Jack, mirroring the hatred coming from the doctor's eyes extremely well. "Because Boone wanted to come, Jack."

"Okay, then. I guess I'll have to-"

"Jack!" someone yelled. Jack looked up. Was it Claire? Nope. It was Kate. She was yelling at him. Jack was shaking with fury at Locke, but he still managed to calm himself down. It was Kate, after all. He turned around and looked at his fiancé with love. Locke was disappointed, having wanted to battle.

"Kate, what is it?" Jack asked. Kate grinned anxiously.

"I found a clue!"

Locke, who was the hunter, ran over to her. "What is it, Katherine?"

Kate bristled at the use of her full first name but explained anyway. "It's Charlie's acorn!"

Locke and Jack exchanged a similarly confused looked, then realized who they were exchanging it with and quickly turned back to Kate, grumbling.

"Charlie's acorn?" Boone asked, sniggering. "What are you talkin' about? This is _nut a _normal clue. Badda-bing! Get it?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Boone, you make no sense. See, guys, Charlie has this little acorn thing with his name on it, and he carries it around and pets it and stuff." Jack raised his eyebrows. "I don't know, don't ask me!" Kate said, looking at the acorn carefully.

Jack bit his lip. "Charlie's weird. So, where is the _exact spot_ that you found the acorn?"

Kate smiled, nodding her head over towards a normal looking tree. "Right over here, by that weird note."

"NOTE?" Locke practically shouted. "What note!"

"Um, I don't know. I didn't read it. I got distracted by Charlie's acorn." Kate blushed.

Locke and Jack raced to pick up the note. Jack got it first. He wiped off some mud and unfolded it with his awesome long fingers.

"Dear Locke I want you to go back to the camp and die, it says," he lied.

Locke rolled his eyes and snatched it away from the doctor, who yelled "DANG IT" as usual. He began reading.

Dear Jack, Kate, Locke, and Boone,

Stop following me. If you continue to follow me, I will kill one of them.

Understand? As long as you try to save them they are in danger.

Sincerely,

Ethan

Locke crumpled up the note and shoved it in his mouth, knowing that he could not let the others see it. If they saw it, they wouldn't wanna search for them anymore, and if they stopped searching they would not find Claire, and plus, if they kept looking, Locke had a feeling that Charlie would be killed. Jack stared, gaping.

"John! What the heck!" Jack spluttered. Even Boone was shocked. He stared at Locke, confused.

"Does it taste good? Hmm?"

"Sorry, Jack, but you didn't need to see that!" Locke swallowed it. Jack swore.

"Was it important? Did it involve Charlie and Claire?" he asked Locke, wanting to get back to the search. "So?" He poked a finger into Locke's chest. Unlike Sawyer, Locke had some fat, and it squished.

Locke smiled. "It did not," he said, thinking, _Don't laugh, John. Control yourself. _Jack sighed. Kate breathed out deeply.

"Well that's a relief," she said. Then she clapped her hands together, all business. "Now, I guess it's time that I should tell all of you that I, too, am an experienced tracker."

Jack, Boone, and Locke groaned. Jack glared at Kate. "Why did you not tell us this earlier?"

Kate shrugged. "No need to. It just helps move along the plot now, you know? Anyway, I think this acorn might be a fake clue for a fake trail."

Boone sighed as Jack rolled his eyes, exasperated. "I feel like Shaggy right now. And you're Freddie, coming up with stupid plans."

Kate pouted. "You're mean."

Jack swore under his breath. "It's been ten minutes since we stopped. Come on! We've gotta save them!" By "them" he meant Charlie and Claire, of course.

Locke nodded. "We should keep following our trail."

"But it's fake!" Kate said. "Really, it is!"

"Nah," said Boone. "No way is it a fake."

"Yes," Kate said. "It is. Okay? So, we'll split up. You and Locke can follow the fake trail."

"HEY!" Boone yelled, stomping his feet in frustration. "No fair! I wanna take the real trail!"

"You said yourself you didn't think it was fake, Boone," Jack said, which shut him up.

"And Jack and I will take the real path... which I still have to find..." Kate trailed off, and wondered how this incompetent group of people could ever find Claire... really...

Locke nodded. "Whatever." Everyone stared.

Jack was slowly turning beet red as he got more and more upset. "'Whatever'? That's all you say? Kate tells you to follow a fake path and-"

"_I_ think it's real. I guess it'll be a race. To see who finds them first."

"'A race'? That's what this is to you, John? A RACE?"

"Yes, Jack," he answered solemnly. "It's a race."

...

Sawyer was almost to the beach. He was so upset, he wanted to smoke, but his cigarettes had all disappeared in the middle of the night about a week ago. He sighed.

"Sayid, you're just..." He didn't finish that thought. He had been thinking that Sayid was gone for good! He'd tortured Sawyer, and now he had the nerve to come back? Sawyer was just sooo angry at him...

He made it to the beach after another minute of walking, and the sun hit his eyes, blinding him. "Ah!" He stumbled forward a bit and tripped over someone who was sitting on the beach with their legs spread out in front of them.

"Aah!" said that person. It was a female. Shannon gave Sawyer a light kick and rolled away from him.

"Sawyer! What have you done!" Sayid, who had been next to Shannon, sprang up from the sand in battle mode. "I'll... I'll torture you!" Sayid was very protective of Shannon, you see.

Sawyer glared at Sayid. "I see that you haven't changed one bit, Jarrah. You no good terrorist torturer, you, I'll teach you a lesson!"

Sayid snarled at Sawyer in return. "Well, you just try, Sawyer. Betchu can't hurt me one bit!"

Sawyer clenched his fists and his teeth both at the same time and glowered at Sayid. "I bet I can. I thought that maybe you'd learned your lesson by now but-"

"Oh, so _I'm _the one who needs to change, huh? Not you, you conning, lying, redneck!"

Sawyer threw a punch at him, losing his temper with Sayid. Sayid took the hit hard, but immediately retaliated with a wicked Capoeira kick to Sawyer's whiskered chin. Shannon just stared at them.

"Guys...," she said, but they didn't hear her. Sawyer got Sayid into a headlock and held him there for a second, but then Sayid broke free and jabbed him in the stomach with his fingers. Shannon whimpered.

"You're going to kill each other!" she moaned. They _were_ being rather violent. Maybe this episode should have been rated R...

Shannon stood up and ran over to them. "Sawyer! Sayid! Stop!"

They were exchanging strange words as they fought.

"I thought you were sorry for hurting me!"

"Once is once!"

_What? _Shannon thought. "Guys, just STOP!"

"Never!" yelled Sayid. "He hurt you, Shannon!"

"Not really! STOP!" she yelled at them. They didn't, so she summoned up her courage and stomped over to them. She thrust her way between them roughly; that still didn't stop them.

"I'll jump over you, Shannon!" yelled Sayid, doing so. He landed on Sawyer, who fell to the ground with a shriek of pain. Shannon, crying now, took off her scarf and started whipping them with it.

"Sayid, prepare to die," Sawyer growled, blinking away the pink cloth and reaching over to strangle Sayid, who was biting his arm quite viciously.

"Never!"

"Fine, then don't! I'll still-"

"_STOP IT_!" Shannon screamed. She grabbed Sawyer and pulled him off of Sayid. "JUST _STOP_!" She leaned over Sayid and looked at him angrily for a second, then, without thinking, she kissed him.

Breathing deeply, he stared. He started kissing back as Sawyer swore, rubbing his injuries. Sayid pulled Shannon closer, but that made her pull away. She stood up hastily, now blushing.

"You're both idiots," she almost sobbed at the staring, bleeding men, and then she stomped off. Sawyer wolf-whistled, which annoyed Sayid, but he didn't attack him again. They could fight again later.

...

"Mr. Locke, how much longer must we search for them?" Boone whined. Locke beamed at his young disciple. "I'm getting tired..."

"Oh, Boone, you can call me John, you know," Locke said, telling Boone his first name instead of answering the question. Boone looked surprised.

"I can? J- John?"

Locke chuckled. "Yep, John. I like you, so you can call me that."

"You don't like Charlie then, do you?" Boone asked upon realization. Locke glared at the nearby tree, painfully reminded of the drug-addicted rock star.

"I _hate_ Charlie."

Boone kicked a pebble into a nearby puddle as he skipped up closer to the Bald. "Why, J-John?"

Locke shook his head with a grimace on his face. "I just..." he trailed off mysteriously at the end of his sentence.

"Just WHAT?" Boone asked, curious. Locke was so fun to talk to! He was just shrouded in mystery. Boone yearned to learn all his secrets.

"Sometimes," Locke said, getting out a stringing spaghetti noodle to tie to the tall coconut tree in front of them, "I need someone to hate. It's complicated... I feel hateful towards most people, but it's not as destructive or crippling when I channel it all onto one unsuspecting person."

Boone stared, amazed. "You are so wise, Mr. Locke. Can I take a guess as to what your job was before we crashed on this _cah-raaay-zee_ island?"

Locke chuckled again, trimming the edges of the noodle so that it looked nice and tidy. "Sure, go on. Guess."

Boone thoughtfully bit his thumbnail as he followed the Bald through the many bushes and shrubs of the jungle. "Hmmm," he said. "Are you Abby?"

"What?"

"From Dear Abby. Are you the real Dear Abby, that gives out advice?"

Locke looked at Boone like he was looking at a talking armadillo. "No, of course not. I worked at a company."

"Well, Dear Abby could be a company," said Boone in a stubborn tone of voice.

"I worked at a box company, and shut up!" said Locke, who was very sensitive about his old jobs. Boone bit his lip.

"Okay, okay."

"Sorry."

"I get it." No one liked talking to Boone. Ever.

And so they continued on their way in silence.

...

As Jack and Kate walked down the trail, they kept touching their arms together "accidentally". Kate loved it, wanting to kiss, but Jack was being weird.

"Kate, have you seen anymore clues?"

"No, just footprints..."

"DANG IT!"

Kate frowned at Jack. "Jack, what's up?"

"The sky," said Jack in a monotone, stooping down to examine a broken twig.

"Jack," Kate said, kneeling down beside him. "Come _on_."

Jack was twirling the twig between his fingers, biting the inside of his mouth. He ignored Kate.

"Jack, really, what's bothering you?"

"Kate, not now." He stood up, throwing the twig to the ground. "I wonder if they're still alive..." he muttered distractedly.

"Don't say that!" Kate exclaimed, hopping up beside Jack. "Of course they're alive!"

"Mmmhmm," said Jack. "Okay."

Kate stared at the doctor, getting angry. "Jack, cut it out. _Now_. Or I'm gonna lead us in a circle as a punishment."

"That would just waste time."

"Shut up! You're being dumb!" Kate thwacked him.

"My dad used to say that to me..." Jack muttered, a faraway look in his velvety hazel eyes.

"Huh?" Kate said, carefully following the huge footprints in the ground while she stared at Jack. Jack looked alarmed.

"Did I say that out loud?" he asked. He looked so out of it that Kate felt bad for him. But she wanted to know more about Jack's past.

"Yeah?"

"Sorry. Forget about it." Jack rubbed his stubble, avoiding Kate's strong gaze.

Kate bit her lip. "No, I need an explanation. Why would your dad say that to you?"

Jack didn't say reply.

"What'd you do wrong, Jack? There's gotta be some sort of story to this." Kate's father had never been mean to her. They'd had a great relationship... If only that had been her real dad. Kate wondered if Jack had daddy issues, too. "Jack... do you...?"

"Kate, listen, I don't feel like explaining this right now... let's keep searching for Charlie and Claire..."

"Oh, come on..." Kate sighed. "Please, just tell me _something_... even only a little bit will do...!"

Jack kicked a rock into a nearby puddle. It made a large splash, landing on Jack's slim nose. But it wasn't water.

"Kate...!"

"Jack, that's-"

"It's blood!"

Jack knelt down beside the puddle of blood, excited. They were on the right track! This was definitely from Ethan.

"Kate, you were right! This is the real path!"

"Whoa," Kate murmured, staring at the puddle. The puddle of blood. "Why the heck is there a freaking puddle of _blood_ in this jungle?"

"It's from Ethan," Jack explained. He'd thought it was obvious. He scratched his stubble, thinking as he stared at his blood red reflection.

"You mean- do you think-" Kate was spluttering, terrified. "Maybe- he killed-"

"No, no, no," Jack comforted her. "I'm sure it's not from them. Maybe he killed a dear or something."

Kate nodded, biting her lip. "Yeah, maybe... Jack, let's go now-"

But she stopped, because Jack suddenly had a strange look on his face. He turned pale, and fell forward into the puddle. Kate gaped at him.

He was having a flashback.

_"Jack, shut up, you're being dumb," Jack's father, Christian was saying to him. Jack had tears in his eyes._

_"Why are you so mean, dad?" he asked. Christian Shephard laughed coldly. _

_"I'm not." They were in his office, which was a nice, cozy room full of empty bottles of wine. Christian's extra clothes were strewn all over the ground. Jack was standing on a particularly fine looking smoking jacket._

_"Yes, you are. And I'm not agreeing that you did not murder her."_

_As usual, they were talking about "The Incident" (No, not the Incident from Season Five, the incident in the surgery room). _

_"'I'm not agreeing that you did not murder her'," Christian mocked his son in a rude tone of voice. "Oh, I'm sorry. Why not?" He scratched his head, getting grease on his fingers._

_"Because... that would be lying," Jack replied, shifty eyed._

_"You lie all the time!" It was true. They both knew it._

_"Not about murder, though!" _

_"What," Christian growled, "Is so _bad _about murder, Jack?"_

_Jack stared. "You're terrible!" He stomped on the smoking jacket, ruining it, and imagined that it was his father._

_"No, I'm not, I'm just a doctor that wants to keep his job!" Christian sighed, scratching his head. "Look, Jack, I know I made a mistake... but please, give me another chance!"_

_"Why should I?" Jack's words seemed to echo around the small room, drilling their way through Christian's thick skull. "Why should I give you another chance?"_

_"I'm your father!" Christian said, as if that was enough. He pulled out a sheet of paper that had little black letters all over it. Jack assumed they spelled out words, but didn't feel like reading it._

_"And I'm your son, who you have verbally abused for years!" he said, faking tears._

_"Sign this sheet and all our problems will be gone!" said Christian. "Sign it, and I'll love you!"_

_Jack rolled his eyes. "I'm not signing it, dad."_

_"If you sign it, you'll have what it takes!" Christian lied, desperate. "Just sign it so I can keep my job!"_

_"I'll... I'll get what it takes?" Jack asked, staring. "Really?" This was before Jack had discovered Crunchy Flakes, obviously. _

_"Yeah, yeah, sure. Just sign it."_

_Jack took out his pen, his eyes wide. "I will sign it and get what it takes," he said in a robotic voice. "And you will love me."_

_Christian nodded, wanting him to hurry up. "Of course I will Jack. I already do."_

_Jack smiled. "Okay, I will sign it now."_

_And he signed it._

_"YEAH-HOO!" exclaimed Christian Shephard. "I'm not gonna go to jail!"_

_"Do I have what it takes?" Jack asked, confused. Nothing had changed... he'd expected dramatic music or something._

_Christian smiled cruelly, folding up the important paper. "Do you?"_

_"What do you mean, do I? You said I'd get it!"_

_"I lied," Christian said with a smirk, and, chuckling, he left the room. Jack sobbed._

"Jack. Ja-ack. Hey, Jaaaack!"

Jack blinked, waking up from his flashback. Kate was looking at him, wide-eyed.

"You're crying!"

"No way," Jack mumbled, feeling around his head. It was coated in dry-blood and his face was wet with tears. He shuddered, looking around, and he noticed that he had somehow moved during his flashback. "Kate, where are we?"

Kate grinned at him proudly, wringing out a washcloth that Jack realized must have been used on his face. "I dragged you down the path some more. We're getting really close, I can feel it." Then she looked worried. "Do you think they're okay?"

Jack frowned. "I _hope _so... We'd better keep going." He stood up on his weak legs, feeling sick. "Do you... do you think you could drag me some more, Kate?"

Kate gaped at him. "Really, Jack?"

"Yes," Jack said, without shame.

"Um," Kate sighed. "Okay, fine. But we should hurry."

"I know," Jack assured her, lying down with his hands dangling near her feet. "Come on, let's go!"

And she pulled him through the jungle, not knowing of the dangers that lay ahead of them.

...

Hurley and Walt were playing games in the eerily quiet court. Hurley was very nervous because it was getting dark and Dave had still not returned to him; he felt abandoned and lonely. Walt, on the other hand, was actually happy, because someone was spending time with him for once. It was nice.

They were playing basketball now. They had played bowling (Walt had won), golf (Walt won), tennis (Walt won that, too), football (the winner was Walt), lacrosse (Walt won again) and Scrabble (which Walt won).

"I'm gonna get a slam dunk!" he said, and he got one. Hurley smiled.

"Wayta go, dude," he said. "Friend..."

"Yeah, we're friends," Walt shouted, getting another slam dunk.

"Cool."

"Yeah."

"Yep."

"Cool."

They played a few more rounds (Walt won), then Hurley started mumbling to himself about someone named "Dave" and Walt got bored.

"Hurley, I've gotta go," he said. Hurley nodded sadly.

"I know."

Walt nodded slowly, confused. "Yeeeah, so bye!" He quickly walked to the exit of the court.

"WAIT!"

"What?"

"It's almost dark. Watch out for Ethan."

Walt nodded, then continued out of the building, leaving Hurley all alone...

On the beach, Sawyer was reading book after book in a mad reading frenzy, trying not to think of what he'd done. He was never supposed to lose his temper, because he could get very violent.

In the middle of _Ancient Vampire Curses: A Sequel_ he stopped reading, realizing that none of it was sinking in. He couldn't name the different kinds of "Rhyming Curses" if his life depended on it.

"Dang it," he muttered. "It's useless." He threw the book against the tent wall angrily. "I was so terrible!" He had made a huge mistake with battling Sayid. He would never forgive himself. "Why, why why!"

He needed Kate to comfort him. But she was deep in the jungle, searching for people that were most likely missing forever. Sawyer sighed.

"Kate, be safe," he said, then he walked out to the beach and stared out at the ocean, just like a certain bald man used to do.

...

Locke and Boone tramped through the jungle. The huge trees blocked most of the light from the setting sun, and the air was cold. Boone shivered.

"John?"

"Yes?" Locke hadn't been able to find the trail for an hour, and they were hopelessly lost. Locke finally knew that Kate had been right.

"It's cold."

Locke chuckled dryly. "Indeed it is, Boone. Do you have a jacket?"

"Mmm-mmm," Boone said, shaking his head. "No, I don't. I thought jungles were _warm, _like baked potatoes."

"Well," Locke ran his fingers across an ice-covered rock, "Not this one."

Frogs leapt past them in a long line, and Locke smiled. "See those frogs, Boone?"

"Um, yes. Don't tell me we have to eat them." Boone was aware of Locke's hunting hobbies, but he wasn't sure if Locke hunted amphibians or not.

"Of course not!" Locke grinned. "Aren't they gorgeous, though?"

Boone paused, thinking. "Sure. Does this have a point?"

Locke's smile flickered for a moment. "Yes!"

"Ooookay than. Let's get to it, s-shall we?" he yawned, stretching. He was cold, tired, and hungry, and he didn't want to be bored, too.

"Those frogs are one of the many signs that it's going to rain in a minute," Locke lied. He tried to subtly do a rain dance without Boone looking so that the boy wouldn't know he'd lied. Luckily, Boone was looking at the frogs, not at Locke, so John was able to dance full out.

"It's gonna rain because of some dumb old froggies?" Boone whined. "Darn, this is no fun." He shivered again.

Locke finished his dance, smiling. "Oh, come on. Let's get shelter underneath this palm tree here." He led Boone over to the tree as it started to drizzle.

"John, I wanna go home!" Boone pouted. "Right now!"

"Shut up," Locke told him. "And listen to the sounds of the jungle."

"All I hear is the stupid rain," complained Boone, and indeed, the now pouring rain was so loud that you could hardly hear anything else.

"The rain is beautiful!" Locke shouted. Boone stared at Locke, thinking.

"How'd you know that the frogs meant rain was coming?" he yelled. "How!"

"I learned it somewhere!" Locke told him.

"Did they teach you that at the company!" Boone bellowed, but Locke didn't hear him. Boone shook his head. "Musta been one weird company... a really, really weird one..."

And he watched the rain alongside The Bald.

...

Jack and Kate trudged through the jungle mud side-by-side. Jack was now walking because he didn't want his clothes getting dirty. Kate grabbed his hand as rain started drizzling down on them.

"I love you, Jack," she told him, and he did a little half-smile, mumbling something about "love" and "too". As they marched up a jungle hill the rain began to pour.

"Kate, it'll be dark soon. Do you want to turn back?" Jack asked her. She laughed, shaking her head.

"If I turn back then I'll just get lost! I dragged you over all the tracks, plus it'll be dark. It's better if we stick together!" She slipped a little and fell into his arms.

Jack frowned down at her. "You're right," he said, admitting defeat. "Let's keep going."

They kept walking, getting colder and colder as they slid along the path. They came across another hill. Jack jumped onto it, trying to get further ahead. Losing his balance, he slipped on the mud and slid down the hill. He kept on tumbling right past Kate, then down the other hill. Kate lost sight of him as he rolled behind some bushes.

"JACK!" she screamed, her voice getting drowned out by the pounding rain. "JAAAAAACK!"

Jack was lying on the muddy jungle floor. He blinked, dazed. He was just about to shout out "I'm fine!" to Kate when he noticed someone looking down at him.

It was Ethan.

"Hello, Jack."

Jack sprung up, powered by fury. "WHERE ARE THEY!" he yelled at Ethan. "ARE THEY ALIVE!"

Ethan looked at Jack with a bemused, yet sinister, expression. "Maybe they are. Maybe they're not. Why would I tell you, Jack Shephard?" He took a step closer to the doctor, a hungry look in his big, black eyes.

"Because..." Jack faltered under Ethan's strong gaze. "Because, they're my friends!" He stepped back, away from Ethan. Ethan just got closer.

"'I hate you,'" he mocked. "'I wish you never were born.' Your friends, really?" He rolled his eyes. "You were cruel to them Jack. You hated them!"

Jack frowned at Ethan, getting angry again. "I did not hate them! I'm going to save them!" He jabbed Ethan's chest with a muddy, but still handsome, finger. Ethan bared his teeth evilly at Jack, but the doctor did not move away. "I'll save Charlie and Claire, and then _kill_ you!"

Ethan laughed a high, cold laugh that didn't suit him. "You can't kill me, I'm a vampire! Sticks and stones, they can't break my bones, and your _words_ will never scare me. As for saving Charlie and Claire," he rubbed his chin, which was free of hair, "... it may be too late for that..."

Jack gasped, fury and fear overwhelming him. "ETHAN, I WILL-" but he broke off. Ethan had turned on his heel and ran off faster than should have been possible.

"JAAACK!" came a loud, shrill yell from behind him. "Jack, oh my God, you're alive!" Kate stumbled towards Jack, tear strew all over her beautiful face. She hugged Jack tightly. "You're alright..."

Jack kissed her on the cheek and rubbed her hair gently. "I love you, Kate. Don't you ever forget that."

Kate nodded, still crying. "I was so worried that Ethan would get you..."

Jack grimaced. "He nearly did. I've just seen him."

Kate gasped and stared at Jack, shocked. "R-really? What'd he-"

"He confirmed that he is, in fact, a vampire," Jack told her. "And he scared and threatened me. But I'm better now." He smiled a simpering smile, but Kate was frowning.

"Jack. What about Charlie and Claire?"

He paused. "I don't know, but we should keep looking for them." Jack didn't want to tell her about the ominous things Ethan had said. Right now, they needed to believe that "the moth and the butterfly" were alive. It was motivating.

"Okay. Come on, Jack, it's right up this hill," Kate told him, and they walked slowly back up the hill. Kate didn't tell him that all the tracks had been washed away by the rain, and Jack didn't tell Kate that Charlie and Claire might be dead. They were to scared to tell each other important things like that.

"Kate, can I ask you something?" Jack asked her when they had reached the top of the second hill. Kate nodded.

"Yeah." They climbed the third hill even faster than the last, sensing, somehow, that they were nearing something important. Jack tried to lighten up the air with a less serious conversation.

"Did you have... _feelings _for Charlie?" Jack wanted to know if all his jealousy was actually needed, or if he'd just been wasting his energy with it.

"What kind of feelings?" Kate asked slowly, reaching the top of the third hill and leading Jack around a curvy corner in the jungle.

"You know... _feelings_?" Gosh, woman. Did he have to spell it out?

"Oh!" Kate exclaimed, cottoning on. "No, I do not have _feelings_ for Charlie, but we're best friends. Is that okay?"

Jack sighed, wishing that he had spent more time being mean to Sawyer instead. "Yeah, I guess so."

They turned another corner, and suddenly Jack had another flashback. He fell to the ground with a thud as Kate stared.

_Jack walked down the hall in his doctor coat, a woman by his side and dog in front of him. They were going to visit a patient that Jack had saved, but just than, he saw his father._

_Christian was talking to an old man, gesturing wildly. He looked happy, though._

_"Who's that?" Jack whispered to the woman next to him. She gave Jack a look._

_"Your grandfather," she told him. Like it was obvious. Jack shook his head._

_"What're they doing here, in the hospital?" The nurse frowned._

_"They both work her, Jack," she explained, rolling her eyes._

_"Oh. But, why are they talking!" Jack wanted ANSWERS._

_The nurse inched away from Jack slowly. "I don't know. Maybe because they're related? Or because they work in the same place? Why are WE talking?"_

_Jack nodded. "Yeah," he muttered. "Why ARE we talking?" And he ran away from her. He'd been rather touchy lately, due to his father's betrayal. _

_Suddenly, he saw what his father was holding._

_It was a cereal called Crunchy Flakes. Jack, with his perfect eyesight, could easily read what the box said:_

_"_Crunchy Flakes, Crunchy Flakes, **give you what it takes**,

Eat a dishful everyday, you'll feel bright and gay!

Crunchy Flakes, Crunchy Flakes, **give you what it takes**,

Lots of sugar, lots of cream, puts you on the beam!_" Jack gasped, amazed. That cereal... it was clearly what gave his father what it took. Jack needed to get ahold of it._

_He quietly sneaked up behind his dad and grandfather and slipped the box out of his dad's hands. Christian didn't notice because he was so engrossed in the conversation. He laughed loudly as Jack made his quick escape. _

_He hid in a closet two feet away and ripped opened the box. He thrust his hand inside and got a huge handful of the crunchy, sugary cereal and shoved it into his mouth._

_The effect was immediate. Never before had Jack felt so confident, so happy, so handsome. He smiled with pleasure._

_He had what it took now, and he was ready to use it._

_..._

Sayid walked down the beach, whistling to himself softly. He had had a lovely afternoon with Shannon, and now that it was night time he wanted to relax.

Sawyer was walking down the beach, too, dreaming of a life where he could live happily with a faithful woman and where he had a steady job as a policeman or something. The life that he'd always wanted...

The two of them soon became aware of each other, and Sawyer became tense. He was upset that Sayid hated him so much, but maybe Sayid was also upset about Sawyer's hatred for him. Sawyer hated hating someone.

"Hey, Sayid."

"Sawyer." He didn't sound angry. Sawyer was relieved.

"I'm sorry."

"So am I." They gazed at each other cautiously, black eyes against dark blue. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just worried. Kate's out there lookin' for Claire and Charlie..." Sawyer shivered. He was so, so worried about her.

"She'll be fine," Sayid said kindly. It was an extremely generous gesture, one that truly said that he wanted to start over with Sawyer.

"How do you know?" Sawyer's voice broke with both gratitude and fear. "_Ethan's_ out there!"

"She's with Jack and Locke. She'll be safe," Sayid told him. Sawyer bit his lip.

"Okay..." he sighed. "No one here likes me."

"That's because you're a waste of their time," Sayid said, but he was smiling. Sawyer grinned back.

"'Guess so." His dimples shone, even in the dark.

...

"Jack, wake up!"

"Arrrgh," Jack groaned, sitting up. Stupid flashbacks.

"Come on, Charlie and Claire could be dying!" Kate sounded stressed. Jack frowned.

"How long was I out?" he asked, looking around. This time he hadn't been moved.

"Ten minutes, at the least!" Kate pulled him up. "Let's go!"

"But," Jack said, speed-walking after Kate, who had already set off. "It didn't _feel_ like ten minutes."

"Oh well," Kate told him, starting to run. "_Oh freakin' well._" Jack ran up after her.

"Well, sorry," he told her, glaring at his muddy shoes.

"It's okay, I guess," Kate sighed. She slid around a corner, followed quickly by Jack. And they froze.

CHARLIE.

Charlie was hanging from a tree. His eyes were covered up with a blindfold. His red, white and blue Beatles t-shirt was plastered to his chest with mud. And he looked dead.

"CHARLIE!" Kate shrieked, running towards him. "OH MY GOD, CHARLIE!"

Jack ran over to her, thinking quickly. "We should cut him down!"

Kate nodded, pale. "Yeah. Okay!" She pulled a knife out of her pocket.

"Where'd you-"

"SHUT UP!" Kate was sobbing and struggling to cut Charlie down. Jack pretended to be calm and took the knife from her. With the excellent precision that came from years of working as a surgeon, he cut Charlie down. The dead? rock star fell down onto the muddy ground, landing face down. Kate sobbed again.

"Jack, save him!"

"I'm thinking!" Jack snapped at her. Kate wiped away her tears and rolled Charlie over, pulling him away from the tree. She sobbed, waiting for Jack to take action.

"Jack, come on!" she shrieked after thirty seconds. Then she noticed something terrible... Jack was having another flashback.

_Jack, Christian, and some middle-aged doctors were sitting around a long table. They were all wearing suits except Jack, who appeared to be wearing his pajamas._

_"So you didn't murder the patient?" one of the strange men asked Jack's dad._

_"Nope, I did not. She got the stab wound in the car crash, I'm afraid."_

_The men turned to Jack, who was powered by Crunchy Flakes that day. He had been eating a dishful everyday, which made him feel bright and gay. He was ready for anything._

_"Do you agree, young Mr. Shephard?"_

_Jack smiled at the men and nodded. "I do. Wait, what were we discussing?"_

_The man looked slightly peeved, but he told Jack anyway. "We're discussing the mysterious death of the pregnant woman who was in a car crash. You and your father preformed surgery on her, and apparently your dad murdered her. We want to know if he did, in fact, commit murder... you signed a paper saying that he didn't."_

_Jack hesitated, looking at his father, who was not drunk today. Christian smiled encouragingly at Jack._

_"Go on, son. Tell 'em how it is."_

_Jack nodded slowly. "You say the patient was pregnant? I didn't know that."_

_The men nodded. "She was. Her baby was killed, too."_

_Jack was disturbed by this. "So would my father be arrested for double murder, then?"_

_"... I don't know. Maybe?" the man said, flustered. "I don't know!"_

_Jack nodded, biting his cheeks thoughtfully. "I see... Well, my dad WAS drunk during the surgery. That's for sure."_

_Christian stared at his son. "Jack! That wasn't in the script!"_

_The men stared and gasped, but Jack didn't care. "My dad was also carrying a knife."_

_"WHOA!" said one of the businessmen._

_"And he stabbed the patient. I saw him." _

_With that final revelation, the undercover policeman who had been acting as their waiter handcuffed Jack's father, who looked on the verge of tears. He looked closely at Jack, not believing his eyes._

_"You were the one that stole my Crunchy Flakes," he realized. "It was you! You have what it takes now!" He glared at his son as he was led out of the room._

_"Dad, I sure do," Jack gloated. "And I did what was right."_

_The men in suits muttered to each other quietly, exiting the room in a disorderly fashion. Jack smiled, standing there alone._

_"JACK!"_

_The flashback froze. Jack's smiling face was suspended in time for a moment, then_

_"JACK! JACK!_

"JACK!" It was Kate. She was shaking him frantically. "Wake UP!"

"Wha-?" Jack sat up. "How long was I-"

"Only a minute, but come on! Charlie!"

Jack leapt up and ran over to Charlie. The rocker was still lying there, not moving. Jack ran over to him.

"Check for a pulse!" he yelled at Kate. She reached over and grabbed his wrist.

"I... I don't feel anything!" she moaned, tearing up again. "I just... please, save him!"

Jack nodded. "I'm gonna do CPR, the Jack Shephard way, okay?" Jack Shephard CPR is just pounding on someone's chest. It's normally pretty effective, though.

Kate nodded, looking away sadly. "Can I help you!" Jack nodded, putting on gloves so he wouldn't get his hands any dirtier than they already were.

"You do mouth to mouth," he told her, hoping that she really did not have feelings for Charlie and she would just see it as a job. Kate nodded.

"I _think_ I know how..." She began doing it, and it was extremely hard for Jack not to pull her lips away from Charlie's mouth. _Have those lips ever kissed Sawyer? _he wondered.

"JACK, DO SOMETHING!" Kate cried out frantically. "I thought you were going to do CPR?"

"Oh yeah!" Jack began pounding on Charlie's chest as hard as he could. He assumed it would work right away.

It did not. No matter how hard he pounded, nothing changed. Charlie remained as lifeless as ever. Jack was starting to be pretty freaked out. So was Kate.

"Jack, why isn't this working!" she asked hysterically, looking up. Jack shook his head.

"I," he punched Charlie's chest, "don't," he pounded him, "KNOW!" he hit him as hard as he could. Nothing happened.

"CHARLIE," Kate moaned, abandoning her spot by his mouth. "Wake up!" It was hopeless! But Jack kept on going.

He began muttering to Charlie as he hit him. It didn't help, of course, but it sounded cool. "Charlie... come on... don't be dead... please, don't be dead... come on."

Kate stood up and walked away from them. She was crying, hard, because their attempts to save Charlie were just not working. Maybe he was already too far gone...

"Jack," she said after another minute, "We have to stop... he's dead..." It hurt to say it out loud.

But Jack wouldn't stop. "Remember Johanna?" he asked Kate, continuing his "CPR". "Remember how I couldn't save her?"

Kate gaped at him, her ever-present tears still flowing down her lovely face. "Jack, this isn't the same!"

"YES IT IS!" Jack shouted at her. "I HAVE TO SAVE HIM!"

"This is INSANE!" Kate grabbed his arm, pulling him away. "Come on, he's d-dead!"

Jack looked at her with crazy eyes, growling. "No he's not!" He pulled away from her and crouched down by Charlie.

"CHARLIE," he shouted, "YOU HAD BETTER WAKE UP, DANG IT!"

Kate cried even harder. "Jack, you're bruising him! Even if he _is _alive he's gonna be killed by you!"

"No," Jack yelled, punching Charlie even harder, "It's the only way to save him... I need to hit him harder!"

Kate shook her head and sobbed. Words failed her as Jack backed away, glaring at Charlie's muddy, bloody body.

"I'm gonna jump on his chest," he told Kate. Kate stared.

"_ARE YOU CRAZY_?" she shouted as he climbed up a nearby tree. "_JACK!_" Saying his name did nothing, though. He smiled at Kate, perched to jump.

"It'll work," he slurred. And he jumped off the tree, into the air, soaring towards Charlie. Kate stared.

The moment seemed to last a life time to Kate, who could not believe that Jack would do this... he was going to injure them both... this could come to no good!

Jack didn't know why he had to save Charlie. He hadn't exactly liked him all that much. But... he needed to be saved. And, as a doctor, it was Jack's job to save him. As the de facto leader, he needed to save him, no matter what it took.

Jack plunged through the air, and as he fell he realized what a mistake this had been. How would this save Charlie?

"GAAA!" Jack landed incredibly hard on Charlie's chest. He rolled off, groaning, onto the mud. Kate was covering her eyes. Jack gasped for breath, spitting out mud and grass and leaves that he had almost swallowed during his fall.

But as he lay there coughing, he saw something moving out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head, and Kate uncovered her eyes, and they both gasped at the same time.

Charlie was _alive_. He was sitting up, coughing up massive amounts of blood and vomit. But he was alive.

"CHARLIE!" Kate screamed, running towards him. She embraced him in a hug which just seemed to disorient him even more. Jack chuckled.

"I knew it would work," he lied to Kate with a smile. "I knew it all along."

But Kate could only cry.

...

LATER, AT THE CAVES

Kate wrapped a towel around herself. She had taken a shower in the shadowy part of the caves. The mud and slime had washed right off of her.

She through on a shirt and some underwear, then made her way over to where Jack was sitting, washing his face. He had changed his clothes and was sitting on a folding chair that had been on the plane.

"Hey, Jack," she said with a coy smile, sitting down next to him. He grinned at her.

"We found both of them. We'll get Claire tomorrow." He was confident that they would, and just to make sure, he'd eat some Crunchy Flakes for breakfast. Kate nodded.

"I hope we'll find her..." She shuddered. "Well, I'll be right back..."

"Where are you going?" Jack asked, standing up. Kate blushed.

"I was hoping to visit Sawyer..."

"Uh-uh."

"Never mind." Kate laughed awkwardly. "Sorry. Um, let's go check on Charlie?"

Jack nodded, frowning. "Yeah."

Just then, though, Shannon ran into the caves, followed by Sayid. They appeared to be upset.

"He's never been out this late-"

"I'm sure he's fine-"

"He must be in here somewhere...!"

"Shannon, I'm sure he's fine-"

"It's four A.M.! When'd you last see him?" Shannon was upset. Boone had been missing since the day before. Shannon was worried.

"You looking for Boone?" Jack interrupted, walking over to them. Sayid nodded.

"Have you seen him?"

"Yeah," Kate said, walking over to them, too. "He went out on the search with us."

Shannon was confused. "Then why isn't he back?"

"We split up," Jack told them. "He's with _Locke_. He's probably dead by now."

"JACK!" scolded Sayid and Kate at the same time. Shannon burst into tears.

"You let him g-go with Locke!" she stuttered. "Did you even find Charlie and Claire!"

"Boone is fine," Kate told her. "Locke likes him. He'll be safe. And yeah, we found Charlie."

Shannon bit her lip. "But not Claire?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "We'll get her tomorrow. Why don't you guys calm down and stuff, okay? This island's not that dangerous."

"Jack," Kate muttered, rolling her eyes. "Well, sorry guys, but we've gotta go check on Charlie."

Shannon furrowed her brow. "Why?"

Kate shrugged. ""Cause he hasn't said anything since we saved him and he's my _best friend_."

Sayid rolled his eyes. "Eh." He was such a Chater.

Kate hugged them both and then she and Jack walked across the caves to Charlie's area. He was just sitting there, wrapped in a light blue blanket. He looked sad.

"Hey, Pace," Jack said to him in a condescending tone. "How are you?"

Charlie made a strange, mumbly sound.

"You know, I saved you," Jack told him. "I was all like 'Imma pound his chest' and Kate was all 'aaah save him' and I was like _punch punch punch_ and then I was like _jump-smash-pow_ and you were like 'huh?' cause you had been soooo dead before I came along." Jack smiled down at Charlie's sad little face. "I mean, really, I was so awesome."

Kate rolled her eyes. "You okay, Charlie?"

He mumbled incomprehensible nonsense.

"Let's take that as a _YES, THANKS TO JACK SHEPHARD_, shall we?" Jack smirked. "Because that's the truth."

"Claire's okay, Charlie," Kate muttered, ignoring Jack, much to his annoyance.

"_Three things there are more beautiful_," Charlie said suddenly. Kate's jaw dropped, and Charlie looked shocked that he was talking at all. "_Than any man could wish to see_."

Jack sniggered, but Kate was confused. "Huh?"

"_The first, it is a full-rigged ship, sailing with all her sails set free_," Charlie responded, looking freaked out. Why was he saying this? This was not what he wanted to say.

"Charlie, what's with the poetry?" Jack asked him, smirking.

"_The second_," Charlie continued, a puzzled and scared expression on his bruised face, "_When the wind and sun_-"

"Charlie, what're you saying?" Kate asked him. He shook his head, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"-_Are playing in a field of corn._"

"What's the third, Charlie?" Kate asked him, curious. Charlie shrugged, confused, but he continued still.

"_The third, a woman, young and fair_," he recited. Jack guffawed, shaking his head.

"_Oooof_ course. Rock stars are obsessed with ladies." Kate elbowed him hard in the ribs.

"Shh!"

"-_Showing her child before it is born_," Charlie finished, looking like he wanted to die of embarrassment, because Jack was laughing very hard now.

"What an idiot! Poetry is SO dumb!" Jack shook his head. Kate glared at him.

"I thought it was touching. '_Showing her child before it is born_'. A pregnant person. Like Claire! Of course Charlie would like that poem." But Charlie was blushing and frantically shaking his head. Jack laughed some more.

"He couldn't control it, I guess," he chuckled. "Couldn't help himself. Gosh, Ethan musta done something pretty bad to him."

Kate's eyes widened. "Ethan! You're right!"

"Huh?" Jack said. "Um, what?"

"Ethan! Vampire!" Kate rambled on. "Curses! Sawyer's book! Ancient!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "What a load of nonsense, I say," he said.

But when Charlie randomly began reciting another poem, Kate decided that she'd go ask Sawyer about it. He'd know what this was all about. She ran out as Jack sat and listened to Charlie.

"_Because I could not stop for Death_- _He kindly stopped for me- The Carriage held but just ourselves- And Immortality."_

_..._

Deep in the jungle, Locke and Boone had discovered an amazing thing.

It was a hatch.

They had found it by:

1. Walking through the dark jungle

2. Throwing flashlights around

3. Dropping a flashlight by accident and hearing a clunk

4. Digging up some dirt and discovering the metal door for a hatch

"What shall we do with it?" Boone asked The Bald. Locke smiled.

"We're gonna open it."

...  
**And so ends this Jack episode. So many unresolved questions! Such as:**  
**What happened to Apikai, did he disappear or something?**  
**Is Charlie really cursed?**  
**How is Charlie alive?**  
**What is the "hatch"?**  
**Where is Claire?**  
**Where can you buy yourself some Crunchy Flakes?**  
**And how can vampires really exist?**  
**FIND OUT... uh... soon...**  
LOST


	9. Worst Case Scenario

LOST

**Worst Case Scenario **  
A Kate Episode

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC. I just do this for fun.

**WARNING**: This is a Kate episode. Side effects may include boredom, tears, extreme agitation, projectile vomiting, and nosebleeds. If you are pregnant, or ever have been or ever will be, talk to your doctor before reading this story.

Kate ran through the dark jungle, exhausted and cold. She was only wearing a shirt and some underwear, because all her clean clothes were at the beach.

She thought about all that had happened recently just to spite Oliver. Claire had had nightmares, which made her upset, and then she and Jack had had a fight so Claire stormed off into the jungle. Charlie followed her. That was all yesterday morning.

After that, Hurley had discovered that Ethan was a vampire, told Jack, Kate, and Sayid, and they found out that he wasn't on the manifest. Locke than showed them Claire's bag, which was covered in blood, and they figured out that Ethan had kidnapped her and Charlie. Around 1:00 PM, Kate, Jack, Locke and Boone had set off searching for them. Around 4:00 they had split up, and Jack and Kate went off on their own and kept searching for hours. It had seemed pointless.

Then they had found Charlie, dead, hanging from a tree. Jack revived him, and he and Kate had carried him back to the caves. They got back around 3:00 AM. They washed off (Kate took a shower, rubbed the mud, vomit and blood off of the unresponsive Charlie's face, and Jack had changed his clothes and become clean somehow). A little after four, they checked on Charlie, who hadn't said anything, and he had recited a poem unwillingly, leading Kate to believe that he had been cursed by Ethan. She needed to ask Sawyer about it, though. That's what she was currently doing.

Kate was tired, not having slept at all for over 24 hours, and hungry, too. The last thing she'd eaten had been some fruit for breakfast the day before. She longed for some juicy boar meat or some tropical fruit.

"Freckle?" Sawyer's voice seemed to come out of nowhere. Kate shivered and stopped running.

"... Sawyer?" she called out, looking around.

"Freckle!" Sawyer hopped up from the ground about ten feet away. He looked only half-awake. Kate realized that she was at his stash, and he had been trying to sleep. She smiled at him.

"Just the guy I was looking for!" she told him, skipping over to him. He grinned at her.

"You're okay!" he said, relieved. "I was so worried, Kate."

Kate rolled her eyes playfully. "Aah, I'm fine. Anyway, we found Charlie!" She hugged Sawyer happily.

Sawyer laughed out loud in happiness. "Great! Are they at the caves?"

"... They? Sorry, Sawyer," Kate sighed, nuzzling her head into Sawyer chest, "But we didn't find Claire."

Sawyer frowned. "Well... I'm sure we will..." Sawyer liked Claire. Just a bit. But he liked Kate more, romantically. He started walking through the jungle, Kate in his arms. They swayed a little bit as they wandered around.

"Sawyer," Kate breathed to him after awhile, "can I ask you something?"

Sawyer nodded sleepily, staring at her with those dark blue eyes... "Anything, Kate..." he sighed. Kate smiled.

"That book you were reading yesterday? You know, the vampire one?" Kate said. Sawyer nodded.

"What about it?" he asked her, leading them further into the mysterious jungle.

"Does it, like, have the cures or whatever to the curses?" Kate asked, thinking.

Sawyer pulled her away a little bit to look her in the eye. "Yeah, I think so. Why? Who's cursed?" Sawyer caught onto things quickly. Kate looked away from his questioning face.

"Charlie, I think."

"Oh my!" Sawyer exclaimed. They were still walking to who knows where. "What kind of curse?" Sawyer remembered reading about terrible curses that could turn you into zombies to change ones that made it so you could only recite poems. It was cruel, and sad.

"Like, he can't talk normally. He only recites poetry." Kate blushed. "But it might not be a curse at all, I mean he's weird." _Stupid Kate, _she thought, _curses don't make you recite poems_.

"No, that's a curse," Sawyer told her. He shook his head, clearly upset. "It's hard to cure. I'll need to check the book, though, because I don't remember exactly how to lift it..."

Kate bit her lip. "How do you-"

Suddenly, though, she fell backwards. Sawyer had unintentionally led them to a pond, and Kate had fallen in.

"Kate!" Sawyer leapt in after her. "I'll save you!"

There was a waterfall there, too, and it all looked quite beautiful in the slowly rising sun.

"Sawyer!" Kate spat out, coming up for air, giggling. "Whoa!"

They kept splashing each other, having fun, forgetting all about Charlie. They took turns diving in, tickled each other, and kissed. The water was amazing and sparkly and it was all so surreal. They played the whole time the sun was rising, until Kate was too tired to continue.

"Oh, Sawyer, I'm exhausted," she told him, still smiling. He laughed.

"One more race to the bottom," Sawyer said, and Kate laughed, too.

"Oh, okay," she giggled, and they dove in together. They swam down, down, down until...

Kate froze. Underwater was the case that Dying Guy (see _Lefty The Australian Farmer_) had always carried around, the case that had one of Kate's most treasured possessions in it... one that she had been missing for weeks...

Sawyer looked over to see what Kate was looking at and he smiled. He tugged on the case, got it, and swam back up to the top of the pond. Kate quickly followed him.

"What is it?" Sawyer asked. He swam over to the shore and climbed out of the pond. Kate followed him, thinking.

"Hmmm..." Kate muttered, drying off her hair. "Dunno." She didn't want Sawyer to know the truth. It was kind of private.

"I like this case," Sawyer mumbled, looking it over curiously. "It'll fit well with the rest of my stash." Kate nodded, thinking that she could just steal it from him later.

"Yeah, it's a cool case," she agreed, finding that she was too hopelessly wet to dry off here. "Geez, I need to change my clothes." She yawned.

"Me, too," said Sawyer. "Let's head back to the beach."

Kate nodded sleepily. "Yes, let's. I need to sleep..." She nuzzled up against him happily.

It took them about an hour to get back to the beach, because they kept almost falling asleep. They got to the beach around 7:00. It was a wreck.

They stared. Well, okay, Sawyer stared (Kate was asleep in his arms). The tide from the ocean was extremely high, and the plane wreckage had already been washed away. Sawyer could see at least seven people being washed away.

"Oh my..." he trailed off. He saw Jack and Sayid pulling people away, up to where the water wasn't quite so dangerous. Sawyer set Kate and the case down and scurried off to help.

"Hey Jack!" he called out. "Let's save the library!"

Jack nodded. They pulled it away from the water as Jack growled and snarled at Sawyer. Sawyer looked away from him, hurt and confused, as they saved the library.

Meanwhile, Sayid was saving _people_, and he was surprised to see Charlie sitting on the shore sulking, ready to be washed away.

"Charlie, I though you were in the caves!" he told him, pulling him away from the water. Charlie shrugged, pointing at Jack. "Jack brought you here?"

Charlie nodded.

"Why aren't you talking to me!" Sayid spat at him, throwing him down onto the sand a safe distance away from the ocean. "You waste of my time."

Charlie clutched his broken ribs, gasping for breath. Tears of pain came to his eyes. Sayid groaned.

"And now your ribs are broken! Oh great, you waste of my time!" He clapped his hands together angrily and stormed off to help more people out of the water. They didn't even try to save themselves. Sayid hated that, and he sighed with frustration as he pulled Hurley away from the water.

"You're heavy," he grunted, pulling Hurley over to where Charlie was sitting. Hurley frowned at him.

"I'm working on it, okay?" Sayid rolled his eyes and threw him down by Charlie, who was pouting like a toddler. Sayid ran away from the as quickly as he could so he couldn't be associated with them.

"You're both a waste of my time!"

After another half hour, they had saved pretty much everyone and everything. For now, at least. Sayid, Jack, and Sawyer fell down onto the sand, exhausted. Sayid fell asleep.

Sawyer eventually sat up. He needed to look through his book about Vampire Curses so he could save Charlie. He stretched his arms up high, yawning, and began walking over to the sleeping Kate. Jack noticed.

"Sawyer, where're you going?" he asked, hopping up. Sayid, who was sleeping, rolled over, deep in a dream.

Sawyer bit his lip, glancing at Sayid, unsure if he could trust him, but he was still soundly asleep. "Kate and I are going to do some research to help Charlie out."

Jack frowned. "Oh, really? What kind of research?" Sawyer glared at his feet as he kept walking to Kate.

"None of your business, doc."

Jack laughed rudely. "Oh, come on. Tell me. I'm a doctor, I can help."

Sawyer got to Kate and knelt down to wake her. "Well, we'll ask Kate if you can."

Kate, it turned out, wanted Jack to help them, so the three of them began making their way over to the library together.

"So, Katie, what kind of help does Charlie need?" Jack asked her. She smiled.

"I dunno," she told him mysteriously. "Hey, there he is now!"

She waved at Charlie, who was lying on the ground moaning a few feet away.

Charlie saw her waving and hopped up, wanting to be helped. He needed to be able to talk normally. He _hated_ poetry.

He opened his mouth to speak to Kate and realized too late that he would just begin a poem.

"_O Laughter,_" he said sadly, "_giver of relaxed mouths_." Sawyer eyed Charlie with pity, but Jack just shook his head.

"Idiot," he snorted. Kate slapped him, which shut him up.

Charlie continued helplessly, "_You who rule our belly with tickles, you who come when not called, you who can embarrass us at times."_

He made a face at Kate as they entered the library. He _hated_ this poem. He hated _all _poems, really. "_Send us stitches in our sides, shake us till the water reaches our eyes, buckle our knees till we cannot stand_."

Jack laughed at the stupid poem. "Hahahah!" Charlie rolled his eyes.

"_We whose faces are grim and shattered, we whose hearts are no longer hearty, O Laughter we beg you_.

"_Crack us up_

_Crack us up."_Charlie widened his eyes in exasperation and Kate, who was staring at him, smiled kindly.

"You'll be okay, Charlie," she told him. He rolled his eyes, thinking, _How the bloody? _

Sawyer was already looking through the stacks of books in the library, along with Jack. Jack, though, didn't know what to look for.

"Sawyer, what do books do you want?" he asked. Sawyer didn't answer. He couldn't seem to find _Ancient Vampire Curses, a Sequel_. Without it they couldn't cure Charlie. Jack huffed. "Sawyer, come on. What book do you guys need?" Sawyer ignored him completely and turned to Kate.

"Have you seen _Ancient Vampire Curse, a Sequel_?" Sawyer asked her, glancing wearily at Jack, who had an extreme reaction to that question.

"_What_? Vampire curses? Are you guys _insane_?"

"Shut up, Jack," Kate told him. Charlie, like Jack, was confused. But he couldn't say anything, so he kicked the ground, frustrated, scuffing up the carpet with his beautiful designer shoes. Sawyer was still looking at Kate, though his cheeks looked rather red.

"Well, Kate?"

"Um, no, I haven't seen it. I thought you had it?" If they didn't have the book, how could they lift the curse! Kate glanced nervously at Charlie. Jack laughed, but he sounded kind of freaked out.

"Guys, do you honestly believe that Ethan is a vampire? I mean, come on. That's crazy talk!" he spluttered, looking around. Kate glared at him and opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off. "Look, I know that last night I said he was, but I was tired, you know?"

Sawyer shook his head, frowning at the doctor. "Then why do you think Charlie's talking like this, Jack?" His tone wasn't very pleasant. Jack shrugged, avoiding Kate's strong, angry gaze. Meanwhile, Charlie was getting extremely frustrated. What were they talking about? He was cursed? Curses, vampires, those things existed? No, that couldn't be right. GAA.

He cleared his throat loudly, and everyone turned to look at him.

"What is it, Charlie?" asked Kate. Charlie shook his head and gestured to his mouth angrily. Kate frowned. "Well, we can't read your mind!"

_Of course no_t, Charlie was planning on saying, but it came out something like this:

"_I've had this shirt _

_that's covered with dirt_

_for years and years and years._" He felt like crying. This was such torture. He _hated_ poetry. So, instead of finishing the poem for Jack, Kate, and Sawyer, who were watching in a very irritated way, he stuffed his fist in his mouth and it came out all muffled sounding. This way he couldn't hear it all the way. "_Eh used ta be 'ed 'ut ah were it ta bed..._"

Jack rolled his eyes at him.

"Did you guys know," he told Kate and Sawyer, pointedly turning away from Charlie, who he now heartily disliked, "That when someone's heart is not beating for more than four minutes, they can get serious brain damage from the lack of oxygen and blood in their brain?"

Kate frowned at Jack. "What's this about, Jack?" But she was pretty sure she knew...

"How long had Charlie been hanging there?" he asked her. "How long did it take to revive him? Longer than four minutes, that's for sure." He glanced at the rock star. "I think _that's _his problem, not a _vampire curse_. Honestly, that's ridiculous."

Sawyer's temper was beginning to get the better of him again. He appeared to be swelling up with rage as he glared a Jack. "Jack, why in the world would _brain damage _make someone recite poetry?"

Jack smiled nastily. "Well, he could just be seriously disoriented from the damage. Maybe he doesn't know where he is, or maybe something else got screwed up in his brain. I'd need to investigate further to figure it out. It's certainly more realistic a theory than a curse, mind you."

Kate huffed, stressed out. "But Hurley said that Ethan was a-"

"Kate!" Jack exclaimed, looking surprised that she was siding with Sawyer. "Hurley is _crazy_!"

"No he's not," Sawyer said grumpily. "He's just as sane as you and I, Jack!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "Well that's not saying much. You're crazy, too. Babbling on about vampires and curses and other stupid stuff."

Sawyer stepped forward towards Jack, who didn't move away. "Say that again, Jack," he growled. Jack smirked.

"You're crazy."

Sawyer's eyes got a look in them that Jack had never seen before. Pure hatred. Sawyer couldn't possibly be angry enough to _hurt_ him, could he? He was always so gentle...

Sawyer stepped even closer to Jack. He was close enough to punch him. "Jack, you shouldn't have said that," he told him. Jack glared at Sawyer in shock, stepping away.

"You _are _crazy!"

Sawyer moved back in front of him, his fists clenched. Kate couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop it, you two!" she snapped, forcing herself in between them. "Just shut up, both of you."

Sawyer growled some more, that violent look still in his eyes. "Kate, stay out of this." And he pushed her away.

...

Meanwhile, outside of the library, Shannon squealed with joy.

"Boone!" she shrieked, hugging her brother, who had been missing for hours. "Where _were _you?"

Boone smiled a little cocky half-smile. "_I _was out looking for Claire and Charlie... searching for hours deep in the crazy jungle with the world's best explorer as my guide... and," he lowered his voice dramatically, "we discovered something so amazing that it'll blow yer little mind..."

Shannon's eyes widened. "What?"

Boone's _grin_ widened. "Can't tell you. I promised to keep it a secret." He winked at her. "So, Shan'. Do you have an ax I can borrow?"

Shannon gaped at him. "What? Why would you need an ax?"

Boone laughed. "Oh, hahaha, gee, no reason. Silly me." He shook his head. "Soooo do ya have one?"

"No," Shannon said. "No, I don't."

Boone pouted. "Some help _you _are, brainless." He sighed. "Hey, whatcha readin'?"

Shannon picked up her book, which she had dropped when she had seen her brother. "_Ancient Vampire Curses, a Sequel_. I found it on the beach. It's all wet from the ocean, though. Kind of smudged."

Boone squinted at it. "It looks long."

Shannon shrugged. "Only about 300 pages."

"300 pages equals long which equals boring," Boone stated. "How can you even read it?"

"It's interesting. And weird. I think it must be fictional."

"Fictional, eh?" Boone muttered. "I don't really care for that kind."

They stood facing each other awkwardly for a moment, then Boone sighed. "Well, I'll go now."

"Why?" Shannon frowned. "You just got back."

Boone raised his eyebrows at her mysteriously. "Well, I'm important now. I do stuff around here, yo. Cool, yeah?" And he stalked off away from her, picking up the ax, which had just been lying in the sand.

...

Back in the library, Sawyer was about to attack Jack. Kate was thinking frantically of a way to defuse the situation. The men could tear each other apart if they tried.

She needed to stop them somehow. How about a distraction?

"Sawyer!" she said suddenly, right before he punched the doctor. "Where'd you put that case we found?"

Sawyer turned away from Jack and stared at Kate. "I don't know... I left it somewhere on the beach."

"What case?" Jack asked. "What 'we'?" They ignored him. Charlie sighed, depressed, and went over to sit in the corner, all alone.

"Never _you_ mind, Jack," Kate snapped at him. "Sawyer, you didn't lose it, did you?"

"Who cares?" Sawyer burst out. Jack glared at Kate.

"What case, you two?"

Kate bit her lip and looked away from both of them, reaching her limit. "Sawyer, _I_ care! Did you lose it!" That case was kind of important to her...

Sawyer stared at her. "No, I did not lose it! It's over by where you were sleeping! Happy now?"

"WHAT CASE!" Jack bellowed. Then he squinted meanly at Kate. "Are you cheating on me, Kate?" His eyes drifted from Kate to Sawyer suspiciously.

Kate ignored him again. "Thank you, Sawyer," she said coldly.

"Why did you want to know?" Sawyer asked her, stepping over to her. "_Why_ was that so important?"

"Yeah, Kate. What case, anyway!" Jack said.

Kate didn't answer. She looked up at Jack, still biting her lip. "Jack, if you're not going to be helpful, then just go."

Jack stared at her, shocked. "What?"

"JUST GO!" Kate told him, tears of anger in her eyes. Jack growled at her.

"Kate, I knew all along you would like Sawyer more! You two-timing fool!"

Kate widened her eyes at him, furious. "Say that again," she whispered in a dangerous kind of way.

Jack just shook his head. Quoting Sayid, he turned on his heel and stormed out. "You're a waste of my time!"

As soon as he was gone, Kate broke down into tears. Sawyer sighed.

"Freckle-"

"Shut up. Just- shut up."

She ran out if the library after Jack.

...

_Kate walked down the street, closely followed by a large man. She was whistling a soft tune. A gun was well concealed in her back pocket. The man didn't seem to notice._

_"So, Veronica, you going to see a movie?" he asked teasingly. He was Scottish (but not Desmond)._

_"Movie_?_" Kate asked with a smile. _

_"Uh huh."_

_"Do I know you? How do you know my name?"_

_"It's on your belt." He obviously didn't know about that clothing line. What a creep. Kate's neck prickled with fear as she got to her destination, with him still following her._

_They walked into an old theatre. It was empty._

_"Huh?"_

_Kate and the man looked around. Kate looked scared. But was she? _

_"Hello?"_

_Suddenly, gunshots rang out and crowd of bloody people was shepherded into the room by two pale men with guns. Kate and the man stared._

_"What is this?" the man asked._

_"QUIET! It's a robbery with lots of hostages!" yelled one of the armed men. The people whimpered, falling to the ground with fear. _

_"WHO ARE YOU?" yelled the other armed man._

_"Why should we tell you?" Kate's stalker asked. They shot the ground by his feet._

_"That's why. We'll kill you with our guns." The other gun man muttered something that sounded a lot like "and our teeth"._

_"I value my life," Kate whispered to the man by her side. He nodded at her bravely._

_"I'm Robert and this is my girlfriend, Veronica." As if that helped anything. _

_"WHAT!" yelled the man who had been doing most of the talking. "Your GIRLFRIEND?" Kate looked confused, too._

_"What? Your girlfriend?"_

_"... Yes." What a strange reaction._

_Everyone in the room was quiet as they waited for something to happen._

_..._

"KATE!" Jack shouted, whipping around. He was right. That no good woman had followed him to his secret spot at the top of a hill that overlooked the water. Jack glared at her. "Why'd you follow me?"

"I-" Kate stuttered. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She was still beautiful, though, a fact which greatly annoyed Jack.

"Well?"

"Jack, I... I don't..." Kate rubbed her eyes. Jack looked away. She was still wearing the engagement ring Jack had given her. He'd taken his ring off already and put it in his pocket.

"You don't what? Like Sawyer? Like _me_?"

"No!" Kate said, tears once again welling up in her big brown eyes. "Jack, I like both of you, okay?"

Jack sighed, glaring at her. No, it was not okay. "Why do you even like Sawyer! Why'd you cheat on me?"

Kate stared back at him hard, but Jack didn't look away. "I cheated on _Sawyer_, not you," she said defensively, crossing her arms.

"Actually," Jack told her, wriggling his head in that menacing way that only he could do, "I'm the one that you're engaged to, so you were cheating on _me_."

Kate sighed. Jack knew he was right. But he didn't know how to handle this situation. He liked Kate a lot. She was competent, beautiful, athletic, and had a sense of humor. Everything that Jack wanted from a woman. Obviously, Sawyer liked those things too. What did Kate see in Sawyer, though? What did she see in Jack?

"Kate. What do you like about me?"

Kate paused for a moment before talking. "Well, you're smart. Attractive. Um... you save people?"

Jack growled at her. Was that all? "Is that all, Kate? All I you like about me?"

"Well, I-"

"What about my charisma? My physique? My fingers? Don't _they_ matter? Or are Sawyer's better?"

Kate stared at Jack, looking confused. Jack didn't stop there, though.

"What about my eyebrows? My acting skills? My hair? My teeth?"

"Jack, stop!" Kate said forcefully after another minute of that. "One thing I _don't _like about you is your huge ego."

Jack gaped. He had flaws? No way. "Well, I hate how shallow you are, Kate."

"I am NOT shallow," Kate growled at him.

"What are you, then? Why do you go around acting like trash?"

After that, Jack called her a number of things that I am not going to repeat. Kate stared at him in shock.

"Jack!"

"What now, you ***** *****?

"JACK!"

"****."

Kate shook her head at him in disgust. Jack glowered at her with rage. Their relationship had been so great. And she just HAD to cheat on him.

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"It's over."

Kate gaped at him, surprised for some reason. "Why? Can't we just try to fix this?" He liked fixing things, right?

"No, Kate. I don't want to be with you anymore." He started to walk away, but she stopped him.

"What if- what if I break up with Sawyer? Then can we be together again?"

Jack thought about that for a minute, staring out at the ocean. The ocean where Johanna Miller had died. Who had helped him through that? Kate. So... maybe...

"Fine. If you can give up Sawyer, we'll try it."

And he walked away.

...

Kate walked away from Jack, shaking with anger and sadness and excitement and relief. Basically, she didn't know how she felt about her recent breakup-thing. She decided to not think about it, and she went to get the case that she and Sawyer had found...

... The case that had something of Kate's in it. She needed it. It was like a security blanket, kind of. She walked over to where she had been sleeping earlier. It was lying there untouched. Kate knelt down, touching it, wishing she had the key. She caressed it softly, thinking of_Tom_.

"BOO!"

Boone jumped at Kate, wielding an ax, coming out of nowhere. Kate shrieked, grabbed the case, and started to scramble away.

"Wait, where're you going?" Boone ran after her, tossing the ax down onto the ground behind him carelessly. He caught up with Kate, grabbed her arm, and turned her around so she was facing him.

"Boone, let go of me!" Kate screeched at him, struggling to get out of his arms. He frowned at her.

"I was just going to say hi!" he said defensively. "Sorry I _upset_ you." He rolled his eyes.

"Boone, you jumped at me! Holding an ax!" Kate took several angry steps back away from him, still slightly confused.

"I already _said_ sorry," said Boone, sounding near tears. He shook his head at Kate. "Silly Kate."

Kate huffed and turned away from him, all flustered. But after walking around for several minutes, she realized she had nowhere to go. She plopped down onto the sand, exhausted.

"Hello, Kate."

"AAH!" Kate whipped around. She'd laid down right in front of Sayid. He smiled warmly at her, looking tired. Thank God it wasn't Boone.

"How are you? Where are your pants?"

Kate blushed, looking down at her curvy legs. She was still only wearing her underwear. Oh well. At least she had a shirt.

"Uh... Hi Sayid," she muttered, not looking him in the eyes. He was staring at her. Not at her long legs, but still... it made her quite uncomfortable.

"So? What happened?"

"I... dunno... Um..."

Sayid stretched his arms up high and yawned. He shook his shoulder-length dark hair out of his eyes and smiled at Kate again. "So did you find Charlie and Claire?"

Kate bit her lip. "Sorta. We found Charlie... not Claire... and Charlie's cursed..."

Sayid stared at her. "What? Cursed?" He looked like he was holding back a smile. "Curses don't exist."

"Yeah-_huh_ they do," Kate said, firing up at once. "And Charlie's cursed. Wanna help us find a cure?"

"A cure?" Sayid grinned. "Kate, what is this bologna? Is this just a plot to get attention?"

Kate gaped at him. Did people really think all these horrible things about her? Really? First Jack, now Sayid... they all thought she was just a little idiot, huh? An attention seeker? She balled her smooth hands into tight fists, seething. Sayid was shaking his head slowly, as if he finally understood her. But he didn't.

"Sayid, I'm telling you the truth, and you can come see Charlie for yourself if you don't believe me," she spat at him, and she hopped up, eager to get away. Sayid stood up, too.

"Kate, what-?" He followed her down the beach, carrying the silver case that she'd left behind.

"Go away!" she snapped, starting to run. She went into the library, and ran right into Sawyer's waiting arms.

"Sawyer," she sobbed, and he stroked her hair, as if he had expected her to come back to him. Like he knew she'd choose him all along. Only... she wasn't sure if she did.

"Freckle, what happened?"

_..._

_"Hey you, come 'ere."_

_The command was sudden, and Kate seemed surprised. The gun-holding men had been quiet for a long time after saying "WHAT! Your GIRLFRIEND?". What was this?_

_Kate and Robert exchanged bewildered looks. Robert seemed scared, but Kate was not. Her expression was pensive as she walked slowly, and very dramatically, over to the gunned, pale men._

_"Come with us," they told her, and all the watching people gasped._

_"Take me instead!" screamed an old man. "She's too young and beautiful to die!" Kate held back a flattered smile. She blew a kiss to the man in thanks. _

_"Shut up or I'll kill EVERYONE," the more talkative man screeched at him, and the room fell silent. "Come on, 'Veronica'."_

_"Um, shouldn't Owen stay here and watch the hostages?" Kate whispered as the men dragged her off into a closet. They gaped at her._

_"You're right!" whispered the one that talked the most, and he pushed the quiet one back over in the direction of the people. "Go on, Owen, watch 'em carefully."_

_Owen pouted as he sulked over to the hostages. His mouth was so stunningly perfect that Kate couldn't help but stare for a moment, but then the other man tugged on her shirt, pulling her into the closet._

_"Come on!"_

_They shut the door behind them. As soon as it was closed, Kate threw her arms around the other man and kissed him._

_"I love you so much, Jason."_

_"Maggie, I love you." _

_..._

Kate and Sawyer sat in the library, pouring over all the books that had to do with vampires and curses. They might not have been able to find the right book, but maybe other ones would have the solution.

Halfway through _Breaking Dawn, _Kate looked up at Sawyer. She sighed. They had avoided talking about Jack for more than an hour. It felt weird, like she and Sawyer were pretending that everything was okay. They also hadn't mentioned the fact that Kate had randomly had a flashback.

"Did you know that vampires sparkle?" Kate asked, just to make conversation. Sawyer rolled his eyes.

"That's ridiculous."

"Pretty much," she agreed. She leaned over the table and rested her head on her elbows. "Find anything good?"

Sawyer shook his head. "This is all about why you shouldn't read Harry Potter." He set it down on the table.

"I've never read those books... they any good?" Kate asked, forgetting about looking for Charlie's cure. She threw the Twilight book to the floor. It was SO boring, plus Edward reminded her of Jack, which was not what she wanted at the moment.

"YES," Sawyer stared at her. "I LOVE them."

"Oh, goodie," Kate sighed. "A Potterhead..."

Sawyer rolled his eyes again, smiling. Charlie moaned from over in the corner to remind them of his condition, and they continued with their search.

Charlie had been thinking and he wondered if maybe he could write stuff down to communicate with everyone. Never mind that he had really terrible handwriting; it was still readable, and if they would be able to understand him, he decided it was okay.

He got a marker out a dust bin and pulled an old liquor store receipt out of the pocket of his muddy jeans. He realized that he hadn't changed his clothes for awhile. He was a mess! Ew. He'd have to change later. Maybe he'd go out in a minute, take a shower, put on nice clothes, and get Kate some pants. Not that he minded her bare legs...

He bit the tip of his marker thoughtfully. What should he write? Just then, he caught a snippet of Sawyer and Kate's conversation.

"Uh-huh, then what?"

"Well, it turns out that Tom Riddle is really Voldemort, and-"

"Who's Voldemort?"

"He killed Harry's parents! Sheesh, he's the main villain in Harry Potter! Have you been living under a rock, Kate?"

Charlie's eyes widened, and he scribbled on the receipt. He folded it into a paper-airplane and threw it over to the table. It landed pathetically at Kate's feet.

"Huh?"

She picked it up, unwrapped it, and snorted with laughter, rolling her eyes.

"What?" said Sawyer.

"Charlie found a loop-hole of sorts," she told him, grinning. "He can still write things down, it seems."

Sawyer snatched the paper and read it aloud. "'Don't read Harry Potter, Kate, unless you want to go to Hell'. It's written in all-caps, like he's shouting at you." He rolled his eyes, smiling at Charlie.

"I love how he wrote that on a _liquor store_ receipt," Kate said.

"Yeah," Sawyer smiled. "Good of you to believe that, Charlie." Sawyer, personally, didn't think that reading Harry Potter was bad but he didn't hate people who did. He was very tolerant of other peoples' views.

Charlie smiled at Sawyer's tolerance and walked over to the table. He grabbed the piece of paper back from Sawyer and started writing on it.

"NOT PENNYS BOAT."

"What?" Kate said, confused.

Charlie laughed, scribbled over that, then began writing again.

"SORRY THAT WAS AN INSIDE JOKE."

Kate raised her eyebrows. She leaned over to Sawyer.

"I think I liked it better when he could talk. Shouldn't we be trying to help lift the curse?" she whispered. Sawyer nodded.

"I'll search the beach in a minute to try and find the book we need."

Charlie stared at them. He began to write something down again.

"STOP ALL THIS WHISPERING WE HAVE TO FIND CLAIRE."

Kate read it and groaned. "Oh, yeah. We were gonna go find Claire today."

She sighed and laid her head down on the table, tired and stressed out. Sawyer patted her back gently.

"It's okay. Jack can do that."

Kate let out a sob. "Oh, yeah, of course. Jack can save her." She sighed. "I just... I don't know. Ethan being a vampire is just so- ugh."

Charlie was shaking his head at them now, confused.

"WHY DO YOU THINK HES A VAMPIRE," he wrote. Kate frowned at him.

"Well, he cursed you, he has super speed, and Hurley said he was."

Sawyer stared at her. "You mean you don't really have proof?" he asked, sounding shocked.

"Well, sorta. I mean, I told you all of it already," she said, blushing. "I mean, vampires _do _exist, you know."

Sawyer huffed, and stood up, annoyed now. "How can you be sure?" Sawyer thought they _might _exist. Maybe. Kate had convinced him earlier, but now... they really had like no proof. Expect for Charlie's curse...

"Sawyer, I just _know_ vampires are real, okay?"

"How!"

"Well, I... I can't tell you!"

"WHY NOT KATE," Charlie wrote. She shook her head at his lack of punctuation and in frustration that they wouldn't leave her alone.

"I just can't. It's a secret."

...

_After kissing passively for a couple minutes, Jason and Kate pulled apart._

_"Maggie..." Jason sighed. "Why are we here?"_

_Kate rolled her eyes. "To get something..."_

_"How do you know it'll be here?"_

_"Has anyone gone backstage since the early nineties?" she asked. He frowned._

_"Um, no? This place was an abandoned theatre until today. Don't know why so many people were here today."_

_"It'll be here." She was very confident of that. Jason shook his head at her, thinking._

_"So, who was that guy you came in with?" he asked her, leaning against the door casually. "The ugly one."_

_"He's no one," Kate said firmly. "Just some guy I met."_

_"And...?"_

_"He's means nothing to me," Kate told Jason with an honest look on her face. "Really, Jason."_

_"He said you were his girlfriend." Jason scowled at her._

_"I'm not. He's deluded. Plus, he's Scottish. You know I hate the Scots."_

_"You and your prejudices," Jason mumbled, making it sound like being prejudiced was an endearing quality somehow. Kate grinned at him slyly. _

_"Yup. So, Jason, you hungry?"_

_"I always am," he whispered to her, looking slightly alarmed. "But no way am I going to-"_

_"Not me. There're tons of people out there. You can drink from each of them. They won't even have to die."_

_"Owen's hungry, too."_

_"So what? He can drink later," Kate said, waving her hand dismissively. "He won't care. Now, when we get back out there-"_

_"Maggie, wait. Let's make out more."_

_She ignored him and continued. "When we go back out there I want you to lock the doors, knock out Robert and feed yourself, while I sneak to the back and get want I need."_

_Jason sighed. "Fine..." He opened the door, and the got ready to put their spur-of-the-moment plan into action._

_..._

"Kate! Kate!"

Someone was saying her name over and over... shaking her awake... gosh, her head hurt... what happened?

"Kate?"

"Urgh..." she moaned. "Don't worry, I'm okay." She grasped her head in pain. "Okay, maybe not. What happened, Sawyer?"

"You collapsed onto the table," the gentle Southerner told her. "... It looked painful."

Kate looked around the room, still in pain from her fall. She was startled to see Sayid sitting at the library table, as well as Shannon.

"I see we have some more guests?" Kate said awkwardly. Shannon smiled at Kate shyly, but Sayid frowned.

"What a rude way to say hello to someone. By the way, while you lay unconscious on the table, Shannon, Sawyer, and I discussed the current situation."

"The current situation?" Kate asked, wanting him to be more specific. She rubbed her hand against her head, wishing the pain would just go away.

"Claire's missing, and Charlie's insane," Shannon said. She leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table. "We've gotta do something about all this."

"Ahh, I see. And Charlie's cursed, not insane," Kate said, glancing at the Brit, who was writing on every surface he could reach, obviously enjoying the ability to communicate things again. Sayid dismissed her with a wave his hand. Then he smiled.

"Oh, Kate, here's your case," he said, and he slid it across the table to her. "You left it on the beach when you _ran away_ from me earlier."

"Oh... uh, thanks," Kate took it and hugged it to her chest. Sawyer smiled at her sweetly.

"I can help open it later."

Sayid cleared his throat. "I thought we agreed that that was Kate's job? _You_ are in charge of helping Charlie. _I_ have to translate some complicated Spanish maps."

Shannon, who had been listening closely, perked up. "I can speak fluent Spanish."

"You'll be my partner than," Sayid smiled. Shannon beamed with delight.

"Fine by me!"

Charlie walked over to the table just then and got out a piece of paper. As everyone else watched, he wrote down a message for them, then stalked out of the library with his marker.

The message said, "WHILE YOU GUYS WORK TO FIX ME IMMA GO FIND CLAIRE."

Sawyer swore under his breath. "_Good bye_, Charlie. Kate, go stop him please." He didn't want anyone- especially not injured, disoriented Charlie- going back out into the jungle. No way. It was too dangerous.

Kate nodded and got up. "Bye everyone," she said. She took the case with her. She'd find a way to open it. She jogged out the of door, not looking back, her mind already elsewhere. "Charlie, come back!"

Sawyer slid out of his seat, too. He stretched, yawning, then smiled at Sayid and Shannon.

"Well, I'm going to comb the beach to try and find a book that'll help us with Charlie," he said. He'd decided that Charlie had to be cursed. Nothing else made sense.

"Okay, bye," Sayid said, already leaning closer to Shannon, subtly caressing her outer thigh. "Please go now."

And so he did.

...

Meanwhile, Locke was walking in circles around the hatch, looking _very_ mysterious. Sunlight shone off the top of his bald head. A sharp knife was tucked away in his pocket. It looked very ominous.

He yawned. "He'd better hurry up," he muttered. Who was he referring to? Boone, perhaps...

Anyway, wasn't he supposed to be looking for Claire? Or had everyone given up on her already?

"Hey, John!" someone called out to him. Locke smiled.

"Boone!"

Boone came into Locke's clearing, holding an ax and wearing a smile. And clothes.

"_I was watching you_. And I got the ax you wanted, s-sir."

Locke shook his head at the young man, still smiling. "No need to call me sir, Boone."

"Fine."

Then Boone tossed the ax at Locke. If Locke had been a normal person, he would have flinched and jumped away, but he wasn't normal so instead he just caught the ax in his hands easily.

"Good throw."

Boone beamed with happiness. "No one's ever praised me before," he muttered. "It feels strange, like rubber gloves on rainy days."

"Shake it off," Locke said. He stuck the ax into a nearby tree. "Now, how did you find the ax?"

Boone scrunched up his face at the question. "Uh, it was on the beach."

"Did anyone see you take it?" Locke asked, stretching his arms out like he was getting ready for a work out.

Boone counted off the people on his fingers, but the number got so high that he gave up. "Um, many people did. Why, is that a problem?"

Locke frowned, and nodded. "You have to learn how to be secretive, Boone! How to sneak around like a spy!" He demonstrated an amazing, spy-like jump, landing without a sound on the ground.

Boone pouted. "I did my best, and if that's not good enough for you, then I'll just leave, John."

"No, don't go. But you have to try harder." Locke crossed his arms.

Boone shook his head. "You didn't tell me to try hard at all!" Locke raised his eyebrows. He took out one of his knives and began polishing it.

"I told you not to be seen, though!" he said.

Boone sighed. "Well, sorry, John."

They were quiet for a minute, until Locke cleared his throat rather loudly.

"So, Boone. Let's get to work."

"Doin' what?"

"Opening this hatch."

ONE HOUR LATER

Charlie, who Kate had caught and taken to Rose to be watched, was sulking. He had to help Rose set up her tent and sort through her supplies, and the entire time he could not say anything because of the poetry thing. He had also used up all his paper. Kate said that was because he wrote in such large letters.

He sighed, and idly dragged a stick across the sand. Rose was engrossed in a book that they'd found near Shannon's tent, fingering the ring she wore around her neck like it was the Ring from Lord of the Rings. Charlie thought it was rather funny. She was just like Frodo, wearing a ring on a chain around her neck instead of on her finger. What was the point? He, personally, always wore his rings on his fingers.

Like the Drive Shaft ring from Liam. He twisted it around his finger with a smile. The day he'd gotten the ring had been fantastic.

Thinking of that ring made him think of Liam's wedding ring, so gold and bejeweled and awesome. Charlie hadn't been invited to the wedding– it had been strictly for friends, not family, which had greatly agitated Charlie. Maybe he just wasn't invited because of Liam's wife, Karen's, intense hatred for drug addicts... and he HAD been a junkie then...

Now Karen and Liam were living an amazing life in Australia. Why had they moved there, anyway? Did they like the accents the people had or something? Charlie, personally, loved the accents.

With a jolt, Charlie was painfully reminded of Claire. He vaguely wondered if anyone cared anymore if she was found, if Jack was looking for her.

Jack was.

He ran through the jungle, searching behind every tree, underneath every rock, in every bush, and he couldn't find her anywhere.

"DANG IT!" he yelled, realizing he'd gone in a circle. "Stupid jungle! Full of pine-trees and stuff! All of you dumb trees look the same!"

Suddenly, he realized he was right. All of the pine trees were identical. Every single oak tree looked the same as the other. Same with the palm trees. The apple, plum, and mango trees, if you looked closely, all had exactly the same amount of fruit on them. Like someone had taken ten different types of trees and just cloned them. But still– how was that even possible? Jack shook himself. He couldn't be right. He was just tired or something. That was it.

Just then, he walked past Sawyer's stash. Oh, he really wanted to mess it up. To tear through it all, ripping up all Sawyer's clothing and toys, but somehow he controlled himself.

"Jack, what're you doing here?" came a beautiful voice from behind him. He whipped around, and there was Kate, holding a large silver case with an apprehensive look on her gorgeous freckled face.

"I was looking for Claire," Jack growled. Kate twisted her mouth into a frown.

"You didn't find her..."

"Obviously not." Jack thrust his hip to the side and placed an attractive, long fingered hand onto it. "Why are YOU here, princess?"

Kate rolled her chocolate brown eyes. "Do _not _call me that, Jack. I was looking for you."

"Didja dump Sawyer?" Jack said, unable to contain himself. Kate looked away, and Jack went back to being Angry Jack. "Guess not, huh, _Freckle_."

"You're really bad with nicknames, Jack," Kate said in a mumbly voice. Jack glared at her.

"What do you want," he asked bluntly, leaving out the question mark as he always did when he was upset. "Because I'm running out of time_ and_ patience."

"I need your help. You're the only one smart and resourceful enough to help me with this, Jack," Kate smiled at him, trying to flatter him. It worked. Jack grinned arrogantly.

"That's most likely true. What do you need help with?" He pulled out two folding chairs from Sawyer's stash, opened them up, and gestured for her to sit. She did, amazed by how well complementing him had worked. One second hostile, the next second all smiles. _Well, that's Jack for you_, she thought.

"You know that case I was talking about earlier?"

"Mmmhmm," Jack said, nodding. "The secret one that you really wanted."

"Yep. Okay, so I really wanna open it, but here's the thing- I can't find the key."

Jack frowned sympathetically. "Oh dear."

"So, can you help?"

"Um, who's case is it?" Jack asked, thinking. Kate blushed.

"Itsdyingguyscase," she spat out quickly. Jack raised his eyebrows.

"You mean Dying Guy, the guy who died, owned this case, and you want to open it? Wasn't he your friend?"

"Yessssss?"

"Then why steal his stuff? Isn't that mean?"

"HE was mean! And something of mine's in their! Something that was-" she broke off, leaving Jack extremely curious.

"Something that was...?" he repeated slowly, raising his eyebrows.

"Something that was Tom's," Kate whispered in a barley audible voice.

Jack, who had been standing behind his chair until then, sat down in exhaustion. He hoped that it made him look cool and attractive. He smiled to help the image.

"Tom's. I see. Um, who's this Tom?"

"He was a guy I thought I knew. Um, I mean I know. Knew. Gaaa!" Kate was blushing furiously, avoiding Jack's strong gaze.

"What object of his is in that case?" He tilted his to the side.

"It's a... thing," Kate muttered. Jack's mouth twitched into cocky half-smile.

"Ooh, I see. A thing."

"Yup."

Jack cleared his throat awkwardly after a very long silence.

"What kind of thing?"

"Nothing! Shut up!"

They stared at each other for awhile, Kate's eyebrows furrowed, Jack's sensuous mouth curved down into an unpleasant expression.

"Okay, I'll wait for you to answer me. I'll wait, Kate, even if it takes all night."

...

"John, this isn't working."

Boone was getting bored with Locke's attempt to open the hatch. It involved staring at the hatch door until they managed to guilt it into opening. They'd been at it for half and hour with no success.

"Okay, Boone, get out the ax."

Boone smiled, pleasantly surprised. "Oh boy!" he tossed it to Locke again. Locke caught it with ease.

"Are you ready, Boone?"

"Uh-huh, uh-huh!" Boone clapped his hands and it took all he had to keep from jumping around in excitement. Something was finally going to happen!

Locke lifted the ax up above his head with a grim expression on his enigmatic face. "This'll be brutal."

"Yeah, I know," Boone said impatiently. "Come on!"

"It might scare you. But stay calm, Boone, no matter what," Locke explained.

"OKAY!"

Locke swung the ax down on the metal hatch door. It bounced off pathetically and landed on the jungle floor. Locke looked distraught.

"Oh no! It didn't work!" he said. Boone waited for him to try again. He didn't.

"Uh. John?"

"I'm thinking."

"Well, aren't you going to do it again...?" he asked. Locke shook his head like that was ridiculous.

"No, of course not!" Locke said. He shook his head again, this time in amusement. "Boone, can you run to the library and get us a book on hatches?"

"Uh... I guess so," Boone said, still confused. And slightly disgusted. Hadn't Locke ever heard that if at first you don't succeed, you try, try again?

"GO, boy!" Locke yelled, suddenly impatient. Boone scampered off.

...

Sayid handed Shannon the Spanish maps with a smile. Nothing helped him prepare for work better than kissing, so now he was ultra-prepared.

Shannon flipped through the maps with a frown on her face. After a minute or two, she smiled. Looking up at Sayid, she laughed.

"Sayid, these maps are in French, not Spanish!"

Sayid stared, then started laughing along with her. He shook his head sheepishly. "How silly I am."

"Indeed," she agreed, rolling her eyes at him. "Luckily, though, I speak French too."

"Can you read it?"

"Sorta..."

She looked over one of the sentences on the maps and sighed. "But only sort of." Sayid smiled gently at her.

"'S okay, Shannon."

Shannon felt all lightheaded when he muttered her name in his strange accent. She smiled at him shyly. But just then, Boone walked into the library with a smug grin.

"Hey, Shan. Hey, Say... id. Yeah, um, what're you doin'?" They stared at him.

"What do you want?"

"Do you have a book on hatches?" Boone asked. sitting down on one of the empty chairs. "Cause that's what I want."

"What's a hatch?" Shannon asked, feeling stupid and inferior.

"hatch 1 |ha ch |

noun an opening of restricted size allowing for passage from one area to another, in particular• a door in an aircraft, spacecraft, or submarine.• an opening in the deck of a boat or ship leading to the cabin or a lower level, esp. a hold _: a cargo hatch._• an opening in a ceiling leading to a loft.• an opening in a kitchen wall for serving or selling food through _: a service hatch._• the rear door of a hatchback car.• short for hatchback.

"_That_ is what a hatch is, Shannon," Boone smiled proudly.

"Oh."

"Or should I call you Useless because that is what you are?"

Sayid stood up, glaring at Boone. Shannon was pouting and shrinking away from her brother and his bizarre knowledge of word definitions.

"So will you two give me the book or not?" Boone asked impatiently. Sayid nodded stiffly towards the door in answer. Boone sighed, turned on his heal with a huff, and left the library. Shannon burst into tears after he left, unable to contain it. Sayid was shocked, but that didn't stop him from picking up the hatch book and throwing it at Boone's back as he walked away.

"Ouch!"

"Shannon, what's wrong?" Sayid stroked her hair out of her eyes soothingly. She wiped away her tears. They both ignored Boone's grumbles and moans of annoyance.

"Nothing," she sniffed. "It's just Boone. Let's get back to work."

Kate and Jack were having a stare-off. They both knew that Kate wouldn't tell Jack what was in the case, and they both knew that she needed his help opening it. And that if he helped her open it, he would insist at seeing what was inside.

"Oh, Jack," Kate sighed. "Why can't I have any secrets from you?"

Jack shook his head at her with a smile. "Kate, secrets lead to lies, lies lead to affairs, and affairs lead to divorce. We need to be able to trust each other." He widened his eyes at her innocently.

"But- but-" Kate couldn't think of good way to dispute his logic,"Aw, dang it, you're fundamentally right, Jack, but this thing's an exception."

"Uh-huh, _riiiight_. Here, I have an idea. We get the key first, and then we argue."

Kate thought about it for a while. The pros of the idea were that it would put off their problem and let them think about it later and that they could stop sitting there staring at each other. The cons were exactly the same. The wimpy part of Kate won out.

"Good idea, Jack."

"As usual..." he said seductively. They stood up and folded Sawyer's chairs. They stuffed them in his stash. They both reached for the case at the same time, but Kate got it first. She smiled at Jack to smooth it over then looked away. She needed to get the contents of the case before Jack did. She NEEDED to. But it was going to be tricky...

They walked side-by-side to look for the key, together, but separated in their different goals. Partners, but enemies as well...

...

Sawyer strode down the beach looking for the book. It wasn't anywhere, it seemed. Maybe it had been swept into the water during the waves that morning... or maybe he just wasn't looking in he right places. He decided to check on Charlie after awhile, seeing as his search was getting him nowhere.

Charlie and Rose were sitting on a hill by the water. Rose was reading a book and Charlie was fidgeting around, looking bored.

Sawyer waved at them with a dimpled grin, relieved to see that Charlie was being well-behaved.

He looked almost calm. Sawyer wondered why he wasn't depressed about Claire. Maybe he was just concussed.

"Hello, Sawyer," smiled Rose. She looked up from her book. "How are you?"

"Fine, I guess. How's Charlie?"

Charlie looked up at the sound of his name and glared at Sawyer. Rose shook her head at him motherly.

"He's been awful quiet." Charlie turned his glare on her this time and opened his mouth to say something so bad that she's cringe, but it came out as a poem. Ooof course.

"_From childhood's hour I have not been _

_As others were; I have not seen_

_As others saw; I could not bring_

_My passions from a common source-_" Charlie cut himself off then by shoving his hand into his mouth, muffling the beautiful poem by Edgar Allen Poe. Sawyer sighed and shook his head, but Rose looked intrigued.

"You know, I thought he was just depressed, but this seems familiar almost..." She frowned at Sawyer. "What did Kate say was wrong with Charlie?" she wondered aloud.

"That he was cursed?" Sawyer guessed. Rose nodded.

"Thought so. It just strikes me as strange, you see, because I've got this book..." She showed it to Sawyer, and his face broke out into a smile.

"_Ancient Vampire Curses: A Sequel_!" he exclaimed. "I've been looking for this exact book!" Rose smiled at him.

"I've been reading it."

Charlie leaned over to look at the book, got out his marker, and began writing on it.

"WHATS GOING ON," he wrote. Sawyer smiled at him.

"We're gonna cure you," he told him, "With the help of this book." He tried to take it away form Charlie, but he had opened it and was flipping through the pages, writing his words on many of them.

"WHY DO I NEED CUR-" Charlie stopped mid-word and began writing something else with a vacant expression on his face."WHOSE WOODS THESE ARE I THINK I KNOW HIS HOUSE IS IN THE VILLAGE THOUGH." Charlie blinked and then stared at his marker in horror. His mouth formed a small "O" and he kept writing, but it was just more of the poem. "HE WILL NOT SEE ME STOPPING HERE TO WATCH HIS WOODS FILL UP WITH SNOW." He mouthed a curse word as he tried to cross it out to no avail.

Sawyer swore and tugged the book away. He looked at Charlie, whose blue eyes were filling up with tears of frustration, and bit his lip. "We'll lift this curse, Charlie," he told him. Charlie looked away as his tears started falling, fast and hard. The curse had gotten WORSE. It had gotten WORSE. WORSE WORSE WORSE.

Rose looked Sawyer in the eye and said solemnly, "We'd better cure it soon, Sawyer, before it gets any worse."

...

"Kate?"

"Yes, Jack?" Kate and Jack were spelunking. Jack had buried Dying Guy deep in the caves, and they were guessing that if the key to the case was anywhere, it would be with him. On his rotting, maggoty body.

"Toss me the flashlight, will ya, babe?"

Kate tossed Jack her flashlight. Her eyes were having trouble adjusting to the dim light in the caves, and she was extremely scared of the dark. She shivered, wishing she had the flashlight back.

"Actually, Jack, can I have that back?" she asked. He wasn't listening, though.

"Uh, Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"I think we found him." They stopped walking. Jack pointed the flashlight's thin beam of light at a large pile of dirt and insects. "This is where I buried him."

Kate began screaming at the top of her lungs. There were BUGS in that dirt. THERE WERE BUGS IN THE CAVE. "JAAACK!"

Jack smirked at her. "It's alright, Kate, I'll protect you." He walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Besides, it's only maggots and stuff. Completely harmless, very tasty."

Kate gagged while Jack laughed at his own joke.

"I'll go get his wallet." Jack walked over to the pile, blindly stuck his hand in, and wiggled it around for a bit. "Ah!" he said, and he pulled out a maggot-covered wallet. Kate whimpered. Jack pretended to lick it clean, then guffawed as Kate began to scream again. He shook the wallet clean, and opened it. "Huh."

"What's in it?" Kate asked, cautiously stepping forward to look. Jack was rifling through the wallet, shining the flashlight on it's contents.

"His credit card," Jack said, pocketing the said card, "his drivers license, a family photo, a picture of _you_, a toothpick, a crushed cigarette, a maggot," Kate shrieked, "his police card thingie, five bucks, and... a key."

Kate carefully remove the key from the wallet and just by looking at it she knew it was the right one. She started to put it into her pocket but Jack stopped her.

"Nuh-uh-uh, Kate. Gimme. I found it."

Kate sighed. "Oh, alright, fine." How would she open the case in secret NOW? She gave him the key sadly. She slowly began walking out of the caves, Jack following behind her slowly, using the toothpick and folding up the money.

Kate looked around to see what he was doing, and she caught a glimpse of his nimble hands pocketing the money right before she had a flashback.

...

_"HANDS UP! BABY, HANDS UP! GIMME _YOUR_ HEART, GIMME GIMME _YOUR_ HEART, GIMME GIMME..." As Jason the vampire drained the blood out of numerous innocent people, he sang to himself his favorite song. He loved blood, especially straight from the heart. OH YEAH._

_He was so engrossed in his blood sucking rampage that he didn't notice Scottish Man sneak out of the room. Which was stupid of him, because he had been looking forward to him a lot. Now he couldn't seem to find him anywhere. _

_"Hey, Owen? Where's that Scot?"_

_Owen rolled his eyes. "He snuck off to the back room with your girlfriend, loser."_

_Jason glared at him. "Really, Owen?"_

_"Yup." Owen's face took on it's usual bored expression and he took a long drag from a cigarette. "Why, 's that bother you or something?"_

_Jason nodded and wiped the blood off his face. He was just about to follow Maggie into the back room himself when she came out, followed by and irate Robert._

_"Veronica, really! Come on, what's with this?"_

_Kate ignored him and kept walking, a scowl on her face._

_"Veronica-"_

_"MY NAME'S NOT VERONICA!" she snapped at him. He stared at her. _

_"Then what is it? Who are you?"_

_Kate ignored him completely. She turned to Jason._

_"Where is it? You said no one had been back there!"_

_Robert looked around in confusion. "What in the world is going on!" The room was piled with pale, motionless bodies and splattered with blood. _

_"Shut up!" Kate shouted at him. She turned to her boyfriend. "Jason, do you have any idea where it could be?"_

_"Maggie, I don't even no what 'it' is, seeing as you've never told me."_

_"Maggie? Your name's Maggie?" Robert asked. Kate glared at Jason._

_"Sorry, Jason, but I guess that you're useless," she said. He squinted suspiciously as her._

_"Maggie–"_

_"My name's not Maggie," she interrupted him with a scowl,"and by the way?" she shot Jason's leg with a garlic-coated bullet, "I don't like vampires."_

_"ARGH!" Jason shrieked with pain, holding onto his leg tightly. "What did you put on that bullet!"_

_She ignored him and directed her gun at Robert. "I don't like you. I don't even know you. You just threw yourself at me. I don't _do_ things like that, Robby." She stepped closer to him, glaring straight into his eyes. "You should be more careful when you pick who your gonna stalk, sweetheart." She shot him in the leg and he fell to the ground._

_Then she turned to Owen. But before she could shoot HIM in the leg, too, he held up a little brown paper bag. He reached in, pulled something out, and held it up for her to see._

_"Lookin' for this?" he asked, and Kate gasped, because it was what she'd been looking for, and Owen had it, he had it, and how was she going to get it now-_

"KATE!"

"Huh?"

"Oh, baby, you just had a flashback!"

Kate blinked. She was lying in Jack's arms in the middle of the jungle. He had braided her hair while she'd been having the flashback. She gently unwound it, looking at Jack with a confused expression on her face. Trying to remember what had happened.

"Weird. I hardly ever have flashbacks."

Jack smiled and tickled her belly. "Maybe it's contagious. I have 'em all the time." Kate frowned at him.

"Maybe it _is_," she agreed, then she looked around. "I guess you carried me out of the jungle?"

"Mmmhmm," Jack said, "You'll be pleased to know that you are very light, angel."

Kate smiled, and Jack started tickling her belly lightly. Giggling, she swatted away his hand and tried to stand up. She found that her legs were very wobbly, and Jack had to help her stand.

"I've got you," he told her. Kate looked into his eyes, and he looked back, and for a moment they were lost in each other's gaze. But then Jack ruined the moment.

"Are you wearing colored contacts?" he asked obnoxiously. Kate nodded, blushing. Jack cackled wildly. "So what color are your eyes, really?"

"Hazel," Kate mumbled, embarrassed, "but I like brown a lot better. It's... creamier."

"Yes," Jack agreed. "It is. But take off the contacts, please. I'm curious to see these 'hazel' eyes of yours." Kate removed the contacts with graceful, well-practiced hands, revealing yummy light green eyes that were swirled with brown, beautiful eyes that held many secrets. Jack gasped.

"Your eyes... they're..."

"My mother's eyes, yeah, I know," Kate said, rolling the eyes. Jack looked confused.

"Um, no. I was going to say, they're gorgeous. Does your mom have hazel eyes, too?"

"I think so. Everyone says she does. Does your face have hazel eyes?" She smiled at him, and Jack laughed.

"You tell me, love," he answered slowly, in a mumbly way that broke Kate's heart into pieces. She looked into his eyes, and suddenly, she was in his arms, and they were kissing, and his hands were on her back, rubbing it, inching lower and lower and she was rubbing his, her hands inching to his pocket and then she remembered... Tom...

"Jack!" Kate pulled away from him suddenly. "Where's the key to the case?"

Jack rubbed his stubble. "In my pocket." He leaned in to kiss her more but she shook her head.

"Not now. Give it here for a minute."

Jack gave her the key, confused. "Why no kiss, Kate?" Kate was now holding the key up, looking at it with a smile. She slowly picked up the case, which was at her feet. Jack was gaping at her.

"Can we kiss now, Kate?" he asked. But Kate was slipping the key into her bra (she still had no pants) and little by little she was backing away from the doctor. He stepped closer to her.

"Sorry, Jack," she said, and then she turned and began sprinting away from as fast as she could. Jack stood there, gaping and confused. What had she done that for? He was at complete loss for words.

...

"_Flower gleam and glow, make your power shine_..."

"Wrong spell, Sawyer!"

Rose, Sawyer and Charlie were sitting in the corner of the library, pouring over the vampire curses book, which was unfortunately defaced by both the ocean water from the early morning flood AND Charlie's marker. Some pages were nearly impossible to read, such as the index. They couldn't seem to find the right page.

Charlie was sitting curled up in a little ball, with a crestfallen expression on his face. In was all too much. He was cursed, Claire was missing, they were stuck on an island, people thought he was crazy, Sawyer was doing MAGIC of all things, and he just couldn't. He just couldn't cope without his bloody drugs. It wasn't fair.

"Hey!" Charlie looked up, startled out of his funk. Kate was standing above him, out of breath, holding a case in her arms. "Sawyer, I got the key!"

"Great, Freckle, I'm busy right now." Sawyer hadn't even looked up. He was flipping frantically through the book, scanning the pages with his eyes. Rose smiled sympathetically at Kate, who looked shocked.

"We can open the case now!" Kate said impatiently, stamping her foot.

"Go away," Sawyer replied. Kate gaped at him. What? Go away? Um... huh?

"Sawyer, what? You said you'd help-"

"And that's all fine and dandy, but I'm busy trying to lift this curse off of Charlie!" he exclaimed, finally looking at her. "So please, give me some time!"

"Oh." Kate looked over at Charlie, who smiled at her sadly. "Why this it so urgent all of a sudden?" Suddenly, everyone was staring at her in indignation.

"Kate," said Sayid from over at the table, "You are not the center of the universe. Your case is not the center of the universe. Right now, helping Charlie is more important than opening your little case. Honestly, you are the only one that cares about it. And put on some pants, by the way. _Please_."

The room was silent for a moment, then...

"Oh. I see how it is."

Kate spun around and stalked out of the library.

"That's better," sighed Sayid, and he and Shannon continued their map reading calmly. Sawyer turned back to the book and Rose.

"Mrs..." he trailed off. Rose smiled.

"Call me Rose."

"Rose, did you happen to read the poetry page before it was defaced by Charlie's marker?" Sawyer asked, glaring at Charlie, who avoided his gaze. He was preoccupied with a book that he'd found on the floor. It was called _The Emo Bunny Who Should: A Story for Demented Children_. He flipped through the pages idly. Rose sighed.

"Sorry, Sawyer. I don't remember it at all."

"_Son of a_... sorry. That's okay, Rose." He shook his head and flipped past the page on Plant Curses, past Plum Curses and Pneumonia Curses. Right onto Poetry Curses.

"YES!" Sawyer said. "Found it!" Rose smiled at him and leaned over to the book. Charlie was smiling ecstatically.

"We never thought to look in alphabetical order, I guess," said Rose. Sawyer nodded.

"Yeah, my fault. But here it is. Poetry Curses."

...

"John."

"Boone!"

"I got the book on hatches."

"So you did."

Locke and Boone were sitting in a "sweat lodge", which was a tent that had a fire in it to make it extremely hot. Locke normally hallucinated in sweat lodges. Boone didn't know that.

"So do you wanna read it open the hatch?" he asked curiously. He never knew what to expect from the Bald.

"Later."

"Oookay."

They sat there for awhile until Boone began getting bored.

"John?" he whined. Locke ignored him, his eyes closed tight, swaying back and forth oddly. "John?"

Locke suddenly opened his eyes with a jolt.

"GAA!"

"John!"

Boone leaned over to Locke and looked into the man's strange light eyes. Locke was sweating bullets, practically. Buckets!

"John, what is it?"

"I just spoke to the island, Boone."

Boone gasped. WHOA. That was so cool. How had Locke spoken to non-thinking thing? "How?" Boone asked.

"Never mind how," Locke said. "But it told me that we must open the hatch. There's something inside."

"WHOA. _I_ thought it was empty," Boone said.

Locke paused for a moment, trying to see if Boone was being sarcastic or not. It was impossible to tell. "Um... yes. So let's go open it."

Boone smiled crookedly at him. "Great idea. It's so original. I could never think of such a cool thing to do."

They paused again. Locke stared at Boone, keeping his arm in front of the door to keep him inside while Locke tried to figure out what Boone's angle was. But it was too dark to see Boone's face too well and he couldn't tell. Locke sighed.

"So, Boone, let's go."

"Oh, sorry I kept you waiting."

Okay, so hewas definitely being sarcastic. Locke prepared to lecture him on respect when Boone suddenly smiled at him.

"You're so awesome, John," he said. "Let's go, Superman. You're the best. _Really_."

The lecture could wait.

...

"Aw, dang it!" Kate kicked the long, thin trunk of a coconut tree. Hard. "Why does everyone hate me!" She threw the case to the ground of her little hidden clearing, done with it for now, and a coconut fell down on top of it with a thunk. It didn't break, though. She put it down gently beside her and rolled it around as she thought.

She had wanted Sawyer to see what was inside the case, to know what had happened to her. She had a feeling that he would understand better than anyone else. But he was too busy helping Charlie... who was supposed to be Kate's best friend.

Oh yeah.

"ARGH!" Kate slid down to the ground, her back against the tree. She buried her face in her arms, thinking. Should she help Sawyer with Charlie and then open the case with him later? Or should she open it now and keep it a secret from everyone? At least she'd gotten it away from Jack... but that was gonna need a lot of explaining...

She really did want to get to know Sawyer better and all, but a little voice in the back of her head was nagging her, telling her that really, he was too good for her. Here she was, thinking about herself, when he was out there helping lift curses and stuff. Kate really should have been the one helping Charlie. She was his friend... and she had a lot of experience with vampires.

She moaned again, and then grew quiet. Some people were walking towards her little hiding spot. She curled up, making it harder to see her athletic frame, and listened.

"...Yeah, his name's Dave. But he's gone now."

"Thank goodness. Thanks again for finding us, by the way."

"Oh, you're welcome."

Kate strained her ears, trying to hear who it was.

"Are you sure Jin is okay?" Could it be... was that Sun? But something wasn't right...

"Safe and sound, just sleeping. He's back at your tent. You know, it's really weird that no one even knew you were missing." And that was Hurley. Kate listened harder, keeping her body still and out of sight as they drew nearer.

"Almost insulting."

"But it's not like you speak English." English... English... that was it. Sun wasn't supposed to know English! What WAS this?

"Then what language am I speaking now?" she asked. She and Hurley were passing right by Kate's clearing. They hadn't noticed her.

Hurley was silent. Kate heard him sigh.

"It's a secret though. Don't tell anyone, Hurley. Please," Sun said. Kate got a peek of the back of their heads as they walked away from her, to the beach.

"Okay Sun. You got it," Hurley said. Kate knew that she couldn't tell anyone either. It was obviously a really big secret for some reason. She rubbed her arms. shivering all of a sudden. She felt an unexpected rush of fear. Was it her imagination, or had someone else overheard that conversation as well? Was someone else hidden in this clearing?

"Is anyone there?" Kate whispered, suddenly terrified. The wind blew eerily in response. "Hello?"

She pulled the case closer to body. She checked to make sure that she still had the key. "I'm armed," she lied.

Out of nowhere, the leaves on one of the surrounding bushes started to rustle around. It got louder, spreading to all of the bushes and trees around her expect for the big coconut tree she was leaning against, which stood tall and still behind her back. Kate was almost too scared to move. But not quite.

She picked her case up off the ground, hopped up, and began sprinting out of the clearing. Was it her imagination, or were there footsteps chasing after her? What was that brushing up against her leg, trying to twist around her ankles as she ran away? She refused to look back, though, until she was far away.

The clearing looked just like it had before she'd gotten there. Exactly the same, but for one thing. The smashed coconut right where she'd been sitting mere seconds before.

Somehow, she managed to hold in the hysterical scream that was threatening to alert the entire island of her presence in the jungle. She stumbled through the plants, trying to find someone. This was not somewhere to be wandering around alone.

She was unfortunately found by a furious Jack.

"You!" he shouted at her. "Why, you–!"

Kate cut him off by swiftly walking up to him and giving him a warm, apologetic hug. She lay her head against his chest and conjured up tears in her eyes, which was surprisingly easy to do. Then she looked up at Jack with a sad smile.

"DANG IT!" the doctor exclaimed. "Why are you so beautiful, Kate?"

Kate shrugged. "I dunno, but it's useful."

Jack grumbled for a minute while Kate waited for him to get over it.

"Okay, fine, Kate, I forgive you. But can you at least explain your actions?" He hugged her again, but she pulled away.

"Jack," she said, "In the past 24 hours I've barley slept, and I've eaten nothing. My clothes are icky and covered with bits of sand and dirt and I need to put on some pants. I'm sorry if my actions were stupid and rash and stuff, but I just wanted to open that case alone... I need to see it by myself first. How about I open it up, take a nap, get cleaned up, and THEN we can open it together? We can even take pictures and have a picnic with it."

Jack contemplated the gorgeous, mysterious girl in front of him. He thought about what she'd said... and it didn't made sense. He realized that she could easily remove whatever was in there when she opened it alone, making it pointless to open it together. Why was she trying to trick him?

"No."

"What?" Kate was shocked.

"No. No, I am not going along with that trick of yours, Kate. We'll open it together or you're not opening it at all." He crossed his arms. Kate looked like she was actually about to cry now.

"Jack..."

"That's my final word," he said. He grabbed the case before Kate could take it and run. "See, now you have the key, and I have the case. We have to do it together or we can't do it at all." His was voice was softer now, more soothing. "Then we can have a picnic, Kate."

...

"Rose, can you make this out at all?"

"No better than you, I'm guessing."

Sawyer smoothed out the page. Underneath some marker scribbles he could make out only some of the instructions.

"This book is so messed up..." he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Oh boy..."

Meanwhile, across the room, Shannon was having difficulty translating the French Maps.

"Hmmm... _Quand vous souhaitez sur une étoile... _Stars... Hmmm." She scratched her head. Sayid looked at her sadly.

"It's okay of you can't–"

"I can!" she exclaimed, stressing out. "Just give me a minute..."

"It's been hours!"

"This is hard, okay!" she stared at the words, willing them to mean something to her. "'Stars shine bright when you drive'? What?"

"Is that what it says?"

"No. I don't know!" She threw her hands up into the air. "Fine, if I'm bothering you, I can go!"

"Shannon!" Sayid said. "You could _never_ bother me."

But Shannon had worked herself up already. "Haven't you heard that I'm useless?" she asked, standing up and pushing her chair into the table rather forcefully.

"You are not-"

"Oh, stop it. Sorry I can't translate your stupid maps!" She backed away towards the door. "I've got to go now." She put on the icy exterior that she used when ever she got upset.

"Shannon-"

She left the library. Sayid swore in a foreign language and crumpled up his maps. "Waste of my time!" he shouted. "_Every_one's a waste of my time!"

...

Just before Kate could grudgingly agree to Jack's plan, she had a flashback. She was overcome with an extreme wave of horror, knowing the memory that was about to come.

_"So, girl, whatever-your name is. Whatcha gonna do?" _

_Owen was teasingly holding up the paper bag with Kate's possession in it just out of reach. Kate glared at him._

_"What do you think I'm gonna do?" she asked, subtly fingering the trigger of her gun. "I'm gonna shoot you in the leg like I did to the other idiots in here and grab what I need."_

_Owen gaped at her with a look of disgust. "You little-"_

_Kate shot the gun. The bullet zoomed across the room, straight towards his leg, but it was too slow for a vampire. Owen sped out of the way and then made his way out the door. Kate ran after him, flat out as a lizard drinking. _

_"Owen!" she screamed. He was already across the street. "OWEN! COME BACK HERE, YOU EVIL MAN!" She shot at him as he they ran, but she just couldn't catch up to him. He was much too fast!_

_After they had run for what seemed like ages with neither of them making any progress, Owen stopped. He turned around and glared at Kate._

_"WHY ARE YOU STILL FOLLOWING ME?" he shouted at her. _

_"BECAUSE I REALLY WANT IT! WHY DO YOU KEEP RUNNING?" she yelled at him, slowly walking in his direction, ready to start sprinting again at the blink of an eye._

_"SO YOU DON'T SHOOT ME!" Owen slowly walked to Kate, still clutching the paper bag in his pale, sweaty fist._

_"I won't shoot you if you just give it to me!" Kate laughed, genuinely surprised. "What kind of person do you think I am?"_

_They were now ten feet apart from each other. Owen stopped walking, but Kate didn't._

_"Come on, Owen. Why'd you take it, anyway?"_

_"Cause I'm hungry and I... I need to drink some blood, honestly. I was hoping to drink yours..."_

_Kate raised her eyebrows, now close enough to touch him. "Owen, does Jason ever let you feed?"_

_"No..." he said with a pout._

_"Well, give me the bag and I'll let you take a little bite," she said, moving in closer to him. "Just give me the bag. Please."_

_"I... I'm too greedy. I could never give it to you," Owen admitted to her sadly. "And I'll probably end up feeding on you anyway... so there's really no point."_

_Kate stared at him. He opened up his mouth, his fangs enlongating, and leaned in towards her slim, white neck._

_"So... hungry..." he moaned. She glared at him. Took a step back. And shot him in the chest with her special vampire bullet. He collapsed to the ground._

_"Owen, I know you won't die from this," she told his twitching body. "But I hope it hurts." She stooped down, grabbed the bag from him, and stomped off down the street._

_She wasn't followed as she casually walked to her car. And no one noticed as she slipped out of the quiet little down, never to return again. _

_As she continued to run from what she'd done._

_..._

"KATE!"

"Not again!" Kate moaned, sitting up. "Jack, I'm sorry. I hate flashbacks. Don't you?"

Jack nodded. He was standing above her, wiping some dirt off of his hands. "I hate them, too. They make me sad. And they're just inconvenient." He sighed. "Okay, get up, and we'll open the case."

"Urgh," Kate groaned, standing up. "Fine..." How would she get her thing away from him?

"Okay then," Jack said with a cocky grin. "Glad we're seeing eye-to-eye now." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the key to the case. Kate supposed he'd stolen it while she was having the flashback.

They sat next to each other for awhile, staring at the case and the key in Jack's hand. Then Jack sighed. I was a very long sigh that dragged on and on.

"You could tell me what it is now. That might ease the pain of having me discover your secret a little."

Kate shook her head.

"Okay, then," Jack huffed. "Let's open this thing."

Kate was angry at herself for not opening it earlier when she had been alone.

Jack pulled the case onto his lap.

Why had she tried to wait for Sawyer? She could be done with it already. This case business could already have been over with by now.

Jack put the key into keyhole and turned it.

She was so stupid. He'd want an explanation now, of what she'd done and why and who's it was and why she needed it so much-

He opened the case.

"Jack, I-" Kate broke off, staring down at her lap in defeat.

Jack stared at the contents of the case. And he counted five, ten, FIFTEEN guns. He stared at Kate.

"Is this what you were hiding?" he asked, wondering what she had done to deserve fifteen guns. Why had the Marshall needed fifteen guns for protection?

But Kate shook her head. No, that was not what she was hiding.

Jack looked at the rest of the cases contents. There was naturally tons of ammo for the firearms. There was a passport, another mugshot of Kate, and...

A brown paper bag.

"Was this his lunch or something?" Jack asked, picking it up and showing it to Kate. She shook her head again, still not looking in his eyes. "Oh, then what is it?"

"Ermgh."

"Not gonna tell me, I see. Well then, I'll just have to open it up and see for myself."

...

"Rose, is this an 'S' or an 'EB'?" Sawyer was asking. Rose shook her head. The book was very hard to read. "I can't tell."

"I have no idea."

"Let's go the table and sit down. That'll help us concentrate," Sawyer said. They made there way over to the table, which was no longer occupied by Sayid.

Meanwhile, Charlie was going for a walk outside. It was nearly evening by now. He sighed. This time yesterday, everyone had been looking for him. Why hadn't they found Claire yet? Was she okay? What was going to happen to her? He tried not to think about it.

He passed by the many different tents, huts and cabins that had been built by the survivors of the plane crash. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Michael helping Scott build a swimming pool.

Huh.

Charlie sighed and walked down to the water. He kicked off his designer shoes and let his muddy feet wade through the cool water. As usual, the water had a calming effect on him. It flowed around his legs as he waded in deeper, lost in his thoughts.

Meanwhile, in the library, Sawyer was on the verge of a breakthrough. "Rose," he said. "I think I can read part of it... it's hard, but I can just make it out."

Rose peered at the book excitedly.

If you tried very hard you could just barley make out these words, slightly blurred by the water and covered with marker:

and may seem to get better, but be warned: THIS IS NOT THE CASE. The curse will eventually overcome the victim completely, impairing not only their ability to speak and write, but also to perform Morse code and, unfortunately, think. This usually drives the victims to insanity and, eventually, death

This is where the words got to smudged to read. Sawyer stared at the few sentences in shock.

"This is horrible," Rose whispered. Sawyer was too shocked to agree. The words "drives the victims to insanity and, eventually, death" were stuck in his head. Sawyer didn't want Charlie to die because of a stupid vampire curse!

"Let's go find him," Sawyer whispered. Rose nodded, but they didn't move. Sawyer stared at the book for a minute, then made a quick decision. "Okay, Rose, I need you to keep trying to read this while I go get Charlie. Then we'll try to cure him, whether or not we can read all the instructions."

Rose nodded in determination.

Meanwhile, Charlie was wading deeper and deeper into the water. Maybe he could just lose himself in it. Just forget all about his drug addiction, being stranded on an island, Claire being missing, everything.

The water felt so nice. It was up to his shoulders by now. It was getting quite hard to keep walking. He remembered the time when he'd seen those mermaids and wondered if that had just been a drug-induced hallucination or something. He didn't think so.

"CHARLIE!" A Southern voice was yelling his name. Charlie kept walking. He didn't want to talk to Sawyer right now. "CHARLIE!"

He turned around, surprised, though only mildly (his emotions seemed rather dulled at the moment), to see Sawyer splashing through the water towards him.

"CHARLIE, DON'T KILL YOURSELF!" Sawyer shouted. He dived down and swam the last few feet. If Charlie could talk, he would have told him that he was just going for a walk. He wasn't attempting suicide.

Sawyer grabbed him by the shoulders and began dragging him back to the beach. _How odd, _Charlie thought. _He didn't even ask if I wanted to go swimming. Huh. _Honestly, though, he didn't care. He wasn't sure if he cared about anything anymore.

"Charlie, I'm gonna take you back to the library, okay?" Sawyer asked, speaking rather slowly for some reason. Charlie shrugged in response. Could he perhaps change his clothes first? No, apparently not. Sawyer was wheeling him towards the library, not acknowledging Charlie's soaking wet clothes as they brushed against his attractive, clean, button-down shirt.

"We're almost there," Sawyer said when they were indeed quite close. Charlie pulled away from him and began walking to the library himself. He'd been going back and forth from the beach to the library all day long. The repetitiveness of his life struck him as rather sad. There was always something bad going on. Drugs, plane crashes, so many lost girlfriends– ugh. It was all depressing, but for some reason he felt distant from his old life. He couldn't communicate with anyone anymore. Probably never would be able to again. He supposed he could become a hermit of some sort, living on his own and writing forever untitled music. Unless that ability had been taken away from him as well.

Charlie sighed. He missed Claire. And being able to talk. He walked to the door of the library and paused before it, his mouth having suddenly been overcome with a very strong taste of apples. Huh? apples?

Charlie shuddered. He hated apples. He felt like he was going to be sick. He glanced back at Sawyer nervously. Sawyer patted his back gently.

"Let's go inside," he said, and he pushed Charlie inside the library.

Just before Charlie could think more about what he was randomly tasting, it hit him.

The rest of the curse.

"Ah!" he exclaimed, and he tripped and fell to the floor. "AAH!"

He was holding his head, covering his ears, but he knew that wouldn't help. It was inside his head now.

_Who's woods these are I think I know– Tiger, tiger, burning bright– Twas' the night before Christmas and all through the house– I wandered lonely as a cloud–_

Poems. He couldn't think anything except for poems. He grasped his head, moaning in agony, eyes shut tight. He barely notice Sawyer saying his name or Rose patting his back comfortingly. The back-patting registered very vaguely in his brain and he felt sure it must be his mother...

He didn't hear, or rather he didn't understand, the words that Sawyer was saying, really singing to him. Rose was squeezing his hand. He didn't squeeze back. All he could think was

_When all at once I saw a crowd _

_A host of golden daffodils_

Or perhaps he was saying it- he couldn't tell.

...

Jack reached into the bag and took out...

A toy car.

He started laughing and couldn't stop– not even when Kate yelled at him to shut up because it really wasn't funny.

"JACK, stop it!" Kate shouted, slapping him. She had tears in her eyes. "STOP LAUGHING!"

"O-o-okay," Jack giggled. "I-it's just f-funny that this l-little toy p-p-plane made y-you so ups-set!" He grasped his sides, still laughing.

"Jack, shut up," Kate snapped, and she grabbed the car out of his hands. "It's mine. And it's a _car_."

Jack stopped laughing, now angry. He had wanted that car! "Okay, what's so special about a toy _car_, Kate?"

"It was Tom's!" Kate explained, still angry. Jack was getting angry now, too.

"Yeah, okay, got that. Who is Tom, exactly?" he sneered at her. She glowered at him.

"I used to date him," she said, each word cutting into Jack's skin like a sharp dagger, "when we were in high school. Then I left town. He stayed, became a doctor."

"A DOCTOR?" Jack exclaimed, surprised. "Why a doctor? I'm still better than him!" Kate ignored him.

"I... visited him a while ago. He wasn't the same. He was married. Had a kid... and he was in this... organization."

Jack was now giving her his fullest attention.

"He was nasty to me. He gave me this car. Said he knew what I– what I did. And why. And he made me open up the car, like this," Kate said, and she pulled on the bottom of the toy. It opened up easily. Something silver fell into her palm, but she closed it before Jack could see what it was. "He told me he'd found it at the scene of the crime... He must have. Then he... he died."

"Kate!" Jack gasped. "How'd he die?"

"It–" Kate started, and tears welled up into her eyes again. "Oh, Jack it was all my fault!"

The she was sobbing, and Jack remembered something else he didn't know.

"Kate... what _did_ you do?"

"I–"

"KATE!"

Kate stared at Jack through her teary eyes, and sobbed, "I killed someone, Jack. I killed someone." Then she was sobbing harder. Jack stared at her with his jaw-dropped in horror.

"YOU'RE A MURDERER?" he yelled at her. She nodded, still crying. "AND I WAS ENGAGED TO YOU!" He spat at her feet. "YOU TERRIBLE PERSON!"

"You don't understand–"

"I understand murder, Kate," Jack snarled. "My dad went to jail for it."

Kate gasped, staring at him. Jack stood up and turned around. He threw the case in Kate's direction angrily. Then stormed away.

Leaving Kate to cry alone.

...

_HOURS LATER..._

"Charlie, wake up already!" Sawyer was getting impatient. He and Rose had dragged Charlie to the caves (he was unconscious) and Sawyer needed Charlie to wake up so that he could find out if the the curse had been lifted. Sawyer had tried his best to read the spell and now he could only hope for the best.

"Huh?" Charlie was finally awakening! He blinked a little and looked around. He scratched his head and looked at Sawyer for a moment. Sawyer nodded at him.

"See if you can talk," he said. Charlie bit his lip, worried.

"Okey dokey," he said. He smiled. "I spoke!" then, his mouth contorted in horror, he rhymed it. "Iflmeg choke."

Sawyer frowned at him. "Was that... controllable?"

"No, and it was not pleasant. Now I'm hungry, I want pheasant."

He grimaced. Sawyer sighed.

"Is this good enough for now?" he asked in a tired voice. Charlie smiled at him again.

"I can at talk now, at least. But we need to kill that beast." Charlie shuddered in horror. Rhyming was almost worse than reciting poetry... almost.

"You mean Ethan?" Sawyer asked. Charlie nodded. "I agree," Sawyer agreed. "Now, I'm gonna go get some sleep."

"Me, too. See you," said Charlie. Sawyer left the caves.

Meanwhile, Sayid was staring at the campfire in the caves, thinking, when Shannon came up from behind him.

"Boo," she whispered shyly. He smiled at her as if to make amends. She sat down next to him. "I figured out why the French was so difficult to read."

"Really?" Sayid asked. "How?"

"Well, I was thinking of what those words could mean, and I thought, hey, maybe it's a song, because it seemed familiar."

"And?"

"It is... well, really, two songs, jumbled together. Can I see the maps real quick?" Sayid handed them to her and she began singing the songs, "When You Wish Upon a Star" and "Splish Splash", switching between songs after every line. It was peculiar and made no sense at all but had a certain charming quality to it nonetheless.

That night was quite sad and beautiful, but in order to get the entire, tragic picture you'd have to be Seth Norris, flying around overhead and watching the islanders. You'd fly over the beach and see Scott swimming around in his pool with Sun, Walt yelling at Michael, and Kate staring into a fire, holding a toy car and no doubt thinking about Jack.

Then you'd fly over the jungle and see Sawyer, all alone and trekking back to the beach to sleep. Thinking of Kate. And curses. You would see Boone, falling asleep as he waited for Locke to finish the hatch book.

At the caves you would see Charlie, sleeping on some of Claire's old blankets, and Rose, crying as she worried about Bernard. And you'd see Shannon singing to Sayid, and you'd see them kiss. Then you'd see Jack, staring into his empty bowl of Crunchy Flakes, thinking of Kate.

Then you'd laugh. Because everything is going perfectly...

LOST


	10. Boone Carlyle vs the World part one

**Boone Carlyle vs the World**  
**A Shoone Episode**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC. I just do this for fun.

**7:46 AM, Wednesday, either September or October in some year**

Boone's endless blue eyes opened. He blinked and blinked and looked around in a daze, wondering where he was. Oh yeah, he was in the caves. Oh could he have forgotten? Ha, ha.

"DUDE!" a voice suddenly shrieked at him from behind. He sat up and whipped around to see who it was.

It was Hurley. Boone was relieved to see that he did not have his dagger with him. He just looked extremely sleepy and on edge.

"Hey, Hurley. Good morning," Boone yawned. "Sorry, I'm just tired. I haven't had my coffee yet this day." Hurley glared at him. It appeared that that was exactly the subject he'd wanted to talk about.

"No one's had their coffee lately, Boone," he growled at him, "Because you and Locke keep taking it into the jungle while you 'look for Clarie'."

Boone scratched his neck quickly and intensely even though he didn't have a mosquito bite there. He was just uncomfortable, as though he was wearing a parka in Hawaii. Locke had told him to tell everyone that they were looking for Claire because the hatch was their "little secret". Boone didn't want to get on Locke's bad side, so he'd agreed to lie about it. But he hated lying. And honestly, he had no idea why they needed the coffee. Only Boone drank it. Maybe it was to keep him occupied.

"Um, well, see, Locke is old and gets very tired."

"Uh-huh?" Hurley snorted. "Well, I need coffee too. And so does Jack. He's been so mean lately."

Boone frowned in a thinking way. "I thought that was because he and Kate broke up?"

"They did?"

"Yeah."

"Oh," Hurley frowned at his feet. "Well, the thing is, I want coffee!"

"Okay," Boone sighed. "Okay, I will try to get you some coffee. Just relax, okay? Jeeeez."

Hurley glared at him. "I AM relaxed!" Boone rolled his eyes and yawned again.

"Please go away, now," he ordered him. Hurley made an explosive sound by forcing pressure through his nose to express indignation, but he still left. Boone smiled at his now aloneness.

And he went back to sleep.

...

**LATER**

Kate walked slowly through the jungle, wearing jeans and a brilliant orange shirt that looked very nice with her hazel eyes. She was alone, but she knew where she was going.

It had been five days now since Claire had gone missing. Kate could hardly believe it. _Five days _and they still had not found her! Maybe she was missing for good... though Kate hated to think that, it was also something of a relief to admit it.

"She might never come back," she said. And it was true. Kate ran her fingers through her curly hair tiredly. She was almost there.

"Hey, Sun," Kate said, entering a little garden. It was full of the most gorgeous flowers anyone could ever see. The tiny Korean woman sat in the middle, pulling weeds.

"Hello, Kate," she sighed. By now she knew that Kate knew that she could speak English. They had bonded quickly after that.

"Need help?" Kate asked sadly. Sun shook her head. Nope, not now...

See, basically, Kate and Sun just sat around being depressed when they got together. They were depressed because:

1. They were stuck on an island.  
2. Jin would be nice to Sun.  
3. Jack would not speak to Kate.  
4. Sawyer wanted to get to know Kate more and she had a troubling secret.  
5. Claire was missing.  
6. They both had horrible pasts  
and  
7. They were just depressed people, okay?

So Kate sat down on the trimmed grass and watched sadly as Sun picked weeds.

...

Boone was just starting to go get some water later that morning when he suddenly had a flashback. He'd never had one before and the memory sent him completely off balance. He crashed into the cave wall head first as he slipped into the memory.

_"HiYA! Take that! I WON!" Boone was shouting jubilantly, raising his hand and doing a fist pump. "Take that, loser-guy!"_

_Boone was in a tennis court with a fit, professional-looking middle-aged man. They were both in tennis-clothes and were holding rackets. It appeared that Boone had scored. The pretty red-headed referee in the corner blew her whistle to signify the end of the match._

_"Good game," Boone said to the man, who nodded stiffly at him. Huh. Maybe "loser-guy" hadn't been an appropriate nickname. "Well man, I really look forward to doing business with you."_

_"We'll see," the man sighed. He looked quite eager to leave. He glanced over at the referee with a helpless expression on his face but she just shrugged so he had to look back at Boone._

_"Here's my card," Boone said, reaching into his pocket and pulling it out. The card read,_

**BOONE CARLYLE **  
_**He runs a business.**_  
**CEO and head designer of Carlyle Wedding Company**  
**Phone: 481-516-2342 E-mail: ****awesome_**  
**IF THOSE DON'T WORK THEN MAYBE HE HATES YOU.**

_"I designed it myself," said Boone and the man took it with a slight frown. _

_"Thank you," he said, then he quickly left the court. Boone stretched his arms up high with a big yawn._

_"So, Bri," he said to the referee. "You have plans tonight?"_

_She blushed but shook her head. "Just homework."_

_"Still in law school?" Boone asked, casually packing up his stuff. _

_"Um," the young lady laughed nervously,"I've never been in law school. I want to be a teacher, remember?"_

_"Oh yeah." Boone looked bored all of a sudden. "Well, can I date you or not?"_

_Bri blushed again. "I- no thanks, Boone."_

_Boone sighed. "Never can snag a date with you... well, see ya!" He left the court. When he was walking down the street to his car, his phone rang._

_"Who can it be?" he said to himself. He checked the Caller ID. "Well, bless my soul, it's Shannon!" He smiled slightly as he answered the phone. "Hellooooo?"_

_"Hi, Boone!" Shannon's chipper voice answer on the other end. "What's up?"_

_"Nothin' much," Boone replied, getting into his sweet convertible car by hopping over the closed door (he was too lazy to open it) right into the driver's seat. "Just finished a tennis game against some old guy. I won."_

_"Oh, cool," Shannon replied, sounding distracted. Boone was hurt. Hadn't she heard that he had WON? "Um, anyway, I just wanted to tell you that..." she paused dramatically,"I'm engaged!" She giggled a little._

_"What?" Boone exclaimed, one hand clenching down on the steering wheel of his car rather hard as he buckled up (remember kids, click it or ticket!). "T- to who, Shannon?" He knew he wasn't doing a very good job of concealing the shocked disappointment in his voice. "Is... is this gonna be like our parents' wedding and only let in a adults?"_

_Shannon laughed. "We ARE adults, Boone!"_

"_You're only nineteen!" Boone retorted, starting his car. He was now scowling. "Th-that's not very nice. I mean..."_

_"What?" Shannon asked. "Aren't you excited? His name's Brian and he's all Australian and sexy and awesome and stuff. I met him, like, last year."_

_"Oh... so you did." Boone backed out of his parking spot, narrowly avoiding a tree on his way out. "I kind of don't..." he trailed off._

_"What?" Shannon said. "What is it, Boone?"_

_"Well, you know how yer just my _stepsister_ and our parents got married last year and we were really close friends before that..."_

_Boone could just hear the smile on Shannon's face, and it hurt. "I know, right? You're like my best friend! It's awesome that you're my brother now, too!"_

_Boone almost ran into the car in front of him because he was talking on the phone while driving. It distracted him. DON'T DO THAT, KIDDIES. "Yeah, I guess..." he sighed. "Just, look Shannon... I..." He couldn't exactly tell her she couldn't get married. That wasn't his decision... but. "Oh Shannon, why are you gonna marry some stranger from Aussie... Australian?"_

_"Australia?" Shannon giggled. "You never were very smart..." she muttered absently._

_"Hey!" Boone yelped. "What? Hey, is this- this Australia guy smart or something? I think I saw an Aussie on Jeopardy last week..."_

_"Um, he's never been on TV..." Shannon sighed. Just then Boone heard some male voice say something on the other line. Something that made Shannon laugh. Boone felt a twinge of jealousy. _

_"Shan'," he said as he made a turn onto a creepy side street. "Shannon, when's the wedding?"_

_"Six months."_

_"Wha? Isn't that a bit short-notice?" Boone asked. She started to answer but he cut her off. "Never mind! Great. Wedding. Um." He nearly ran into someone._

_Suddenly, the male voice said something else and Shannon laughed again. Boone bit his lip until it bled. _

_"Shannon, I've gotta go..."_

_"Oh, bye!" Shannon said. Boone hung up. Then he stopped his car. Got out. And threw his phone onto the ground and smashed it with a stick._

_..._

"Boone! Hey, Boone, wake up, DANG IT, I don't have all day!"

An angry voice was yelling at Boone to wake up... he rubbed his eye groggily, and realized that his head hurt like SO MUCH.

"BOONE!" the voice yelled again. Boone sat up, realizing too late that it was a mistake. A burst of pain like poisoned needles shot through his head.

"Argh..." he moaned. "It hurts..."

"I don't care. Do I look like I care? Open your eyes and see how much I don't care."

Boone opened his eyes and blinked a couple times. Everything was all off balance and swaying. It felt cool but unsafe, like riding on a fair ride during a tornado.

"Uh... whoa..." A mean face swam into his vision. It was thin and had a pointy chin and other facial features. He was... Boone tried to remember his name... _Huh, _he thought. _My brain is not working. Wait, isn't his name Jack? _"Jack?"

"Yes, he is me. I am Jack. _You_ are Boone. Get up and tell me what made you fall."

"I..." Boone held his head to try and stop the swaying. "I'm sorry, what?" He leaned against the cave wall and suddenly remembered falling over and hitting it... but why had he fallen and relived that dreadful memory?

"Are you brain damaged?" Jack sneered, shaking his head. "What. Made. You. Fall!"

"I dunno," Boone moaned. He knew better than to be offended. Jack was always in a foul mood these days. "I... had a memory."

Jack rolled his eyes. "You're moaning about a flashback? You baby! I bet it even caused you to fall over!" Never mind that Jack had fallen into a flashback many times before. "Well, you never were very smart..." He shook his head.

"What?" Boone said, startled. "How'd you... who did you... Shannon said the same thing..." he shook his head himself, dizzying himself even further.

"I don't care!" Jack said. He pointed to his arrogant face. "See? Now I'm going to leave. Bye!"

"Wait..." But Jack was already walking away. "Huh... bye..." He grabbed his head again as he somehow managed to stand up. "This is a dizzy world," he mumbled. His young hands fumbled with the water bottle he had been trying to fill earlier. His hands were having trouble opening it though. He laughed a little at it because he didn't know what else to do. It really was kind of funny.

"Oh, hi Boone, are you okay?" Charlie asked, coming up from behind him. "Are you having a bad day?" He cringed. Boone shook his head at him.

"No, I'm fine, Charlie," he slurred. "Can I have some water?" Charlie looked alarmed.

"You're bleeding, Boone! I'll get help soon!" He nervously skipped away. Boone wandered absently out of the caves, not really sure where he was going.

As he walked he bumped into a lot of trees. "Oops, sorry Mr. Tree!" he laughed. "I mean John," he sighed. Then he shook his head. "What am I saying? I make no sense." He remembered Kate saying that to him once and laughed again.

"BOONE!" a voice shouted from behind him. He turned around, almost tripping, to see Sayid and Shannon. "Oh my gosh!"

"Hi!" he said in a slurred voice, sliding down to the ground. "Wassup..."

"You're bleeding!" Shannon's pretty voice shrieked. "What happened!" She and Sayid scurried over to him.

"I'm bleedy?" Boone said, feeling his hair, which was covered with blood. "I'm bleeding, I mean? Ha ha... bleedy..."

"What happened, Boone?" Sayid was asking him.

"I had a 'flashback'." Boone wanted to lie down. He didn't feel so good. "I'm tired, Shan'..."

"What's a flashback?" Shannon asked, turning to Sayid. Sayid frowned.

"A flashback is what we call the effect of a nasty sort of virus that is very contagious. It causes you to fall unconscious at random times and relive a memory that is usually very unpleasant. They're actually quite dangerous... I am immune to them, as far as I can tell."

Shannon had been staring at him the entire time, jaw-dropped. Boone was confused, too. That kind of thing was possible?

Shannon was clearly very upset. "Um... well... why don't you go get Jack, and I'll stay here with Boone... Um, why do you think he's bleeding?"

"I hit my head on the caves..." Boone told her. He felt his hair. It was matted with blood. Eew. He'd have to wash it soon. He couldn't let his hair stay like this. Shannon wouldn't like it.

"Oh."

Sayid then _kissed Shannon lightly on the top of her head _and got up. He _kissed_ her. If Boone hadn't been experiencing such extreme vertigo he would have gotten up just then to fight Sayid. "I'll be back as soon as possible," Sayid told Shannon, then he turned on his heel and ran back to the caves, which was where Jack dwelled most of the time.

"Love you," Shannon, whispered, but too late for Sayid to hear her. Good. Sayid didn't need to know that she loved him. Boone, unable to sit up anymore, lay his head down on Shannon's lap.

"Why'd he kiss you," he moaned. She smiled at him condescendingly, the way she always did. Boone was a little put-off by it. She was so _cute_...

"We're in a relationship." She leaned against a palm tree for support. "Just... try to rest, okay?"

"Yeah, okay, whatever," Boone said, closing his eyes. He didn't notice Shannon's eyes suddenly closing as she was overcome by a flashback.

...

_Shannon was taking a quiz in a magazine. She was sitting on a hammock in a cool, modern house. It looked very warm and open and the windows were open. A light breeze was blowing through her hair._

_There was a knock on her door and she look up with an excited smile. He was here! _

_"Come in!" she called in a sweet voice. The door swung up and a good-looking young guy came in, dragging in a suitcase and grinning._

_"I'm back!" he called back. Shannon hopped up and ran over to him, still holding her magazine, and hugged him. _

_"How was Egypt?" she asked. Her boy, Brian, shook his head._

_"Hot. Like you." Shannon giggled and pulled him over to the hammock where they sat next to each other. "So what's up? Did you miss me?"_

_"Too much," she replied. She nuzzled her head into his shoulder. "I'm taking a quiz right not."_

_"And...?"_

_Shannon laughed. "It's to see who my "Dream Lover" is."_

_Brian laughed, too. "Who'd you get?"_

_"Lemme see," Shannon muttered, counting up her points. "23... here. 20-24 points: The Iraqi Torturer."_

_She looked up at Brian with a puzzled expression on her face. But he was grinning._

_"What magazine IS this?" he chuckled. Shannon couldn't help but laugh along with him._

_"'Farmer Lefty's Guide to Fashion, Farmin' and Fun'," she said. "I got it at the gas station."_

_"That's one wacko magazine," Brian said, shaking his head. Shannon agreed. _

_Just then, their doorbell rang. Shannon hopped up eargerly._

_"Who could it be this early?" she wondered aloud. She opened up the door and squealed with delight. "Boone! Hey!" She hugged him. He was smiling at her._

_"You smell like strawberries," he said, stepping into her house. "Did you shower today?" He looked around, not waiting for an answer. "Nice place you've got here. Lovely paintings."_

_Shannon smiled with bubbly joy. "I know, right? I can't believe you're here! It's awesome, I've missed you so much!"_

_"_I've_ missed _you_," Boone said, bowing to her rather formally._

_Just then, Brian walked over to the siblings, his ever-present smile plastered blandly on his face. "And who's this?" he asked Shannon, raising his eyebrows. _

_"Boone, my brother," Shannon told him._

_"Stepbrother," Boone immediately corrected her. Shannon rolled her eyes._

_"Yeah."_

_Brian was still grinning. "Aah yes, the infamous Boone. You're the one that wrecked five cars in one month, right?" Shannon laughed. She had told Brian all about that time..._

_"Yeah," Boone said, smiling back. "Expensive cars, too. And you're Shannon's butler, right?"_

_Brian chuckled, shaking his head. "Her boyfriend." Shannon was glad that they seemed to be getting along pretty well._

_"Ooh," Boone said, dragging out the sound to the point of annoyance the way he always did. Brian walked over and wrapped his arm around Shannon gently. "Oh yeah. Aren't you engaged?" _

_"Yup!" Brian said, still beaming with joy. "Come over and sit down! We've all got a lot of catching up to do!"_

_"Brian just got back from Egypt," Shannon told Boone, who smiled sullenly, all of a sudden bored. "Oh, well, I'll go get us some drinks!"_

_"Non-alcoholic, of course!" Boone told her as she made her way to the kitchen. "You're not 21 yet!" _

_Brian smiled and nodded. "Listen to your brother. He's a wise man."_

_"Has that law ever stopped YOU?" Shannon giggled at Boone, but she agreed anyway. She skipped into the kitchen and started preparing them smoothies. She made sure to get them all their favorite flavors. She decided to get everyone a snack, too. She could here Boone and Brian cheerfully talking out in the living room, but wasn't bothered by interrupting them._

_"Boone?" she called out. "Do you like pizza?"_

_The voices in the living room went silent really quickly, like they had been saying something they didn't want her to here. She walked over to them slowly and suspiciously. "So, do you?" she asked, trying to sound casual. _

_"Oh!" Boone said, running a hand through his dark hair frantically. "Yeah, sure. Love it." Brian nodded at her too, smiling again, but now it seemed forced._

_"Okay..." Shannon said slowly. "I'll be right back." She walked quietly into the kitchen, trying to overhear what they were talking about._

_"Okay then... $50,000," Boone was whispering. Shannon paused as she took the leftover pizza out of the fridge. $50,000?_

_"No!" she heard Brain say. "I'm not agreeing to this no matter what! What the bloody... I mean to say, what's this about, mate?"_

_Shannon slowly put the pizza in the microwave and began heating it up._

_"Well, I guess you really love her then, don't you..."_

_"Was this a test?" Brian asked. _

_"In a way," Boone answered. They said a few more things that Shannon couldn't hear, then..._

_"Darn! You passed!" _

_"Good!"_

_Shannon took the pizza out of the microwave and set it on cute little flowery plates. Then, taking care not to spill them, she put the smoothies on a tray with the plates and began carrying them out to the living room. She paused for a second in the doorway, then decided, what the heck. It was her house._

_"I got us pizza and smoothies!" she announced happily as she pranced into the room. Brian smiled at her._

_"Ta! I was famished..." He reached for the tray but Boone stopped him._

_"_I _want the green plate!" He took it. "Mmm. Good pizza, Shan'." She smiled at him sweetly. _

_"So, what were you two talking about?" she asked a little too innocently. They exchanged worried looks._

_"Nothing!" Boone said quickly. "Don't worry. Brian's... cool." He started stuffing his face full of pizza so he couldn't talk to her anymore._

_"Okay," Shannon sighed. Fine. They could have their little secrets. "Let's eat."_

_..._

"Jack!" Sayid yelled. "JACK!"

Jack looked up from the piece of fruit he had been peeling, frowning. "What?"

Sayid ran up to him, glad to have found the doctor. "It's Boone... he's bleeding." No response. "_From the head_."

"He is," Jack said with a small smile. "I saw. What of it?"

"_Well_," Sayid said with a glare. "You're the doctor! You need to fix him!" Jack snorted. No, he didn't NEED to do anything. Especially not fix that idiot.

"Let him bleed, let him bleed, let him bleed," Jack sang to the tune of "Let It Snow". "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. Get at me."

"Why you-" Sayid spat out, seething. "You can't just let him die!" He whacked the wall with his hand in a violent outburst.

"I've seen the wound already," Jack sneered at him, crossing his arms. "It's not fatal."

"Why did you not treat him when you saw him!" Sayid shouted at Jack with many large hand gestures. Jack shrugged.

"I have more important things on my mind than that little coffee thief," he said. "Got it? Just let him bleed. He'll be fine."

"Jack," Sayid growled. "You are a jerk." He picked up the first aid kit that was lying by Jack's feet. "I will fix him myself."

"You go do that then," Jack yawned. "I couldn't care less."

...

Meanwhile, Shannon was still having her flashback. Boone opened his eyes and saw her there. He thought she was asleep.

"Shannon?" he whispered. "Are you okay?" He poked her. She didn't respond. "Huh..."

Boone tried to sit up now, but it made his head hurt. Fine, head, be that way. He'd just lie here forever, he decided. Forever and ever.

But... that would be extremely boring.

"Shannon?" he said again. "Shan' just wake up, please!"

Shannon's eyelids fluttered for a second like she was going to wake up, but they went still again when Boone sat up.

"Whyyyyy?" he moaned. "Be awake, Shannon, you can sleep when you're dead!" But she just ignored him. Boone picked a rock up from the jungle ground and threw it hard against a tree. It made a very satisfying cracking sound.

"I hope you die young!" he yelled at nothing. Then he covered his mouth with his hands in shock because he heard someone coming. It was probably just Sayid though. Dumb old Sayid who Shannon _loved_. "Look, Sayid, I don't like you, go away!"

But it wasn't Sayid. It was Locke. "Hello, Boone."

"John!" Boone stood up quickly and was thrown completely off balance. Everything was dizzy again and he felt like he was going to throw up. "Urgh... I'm... not really okay..."

"Oh, Boone," Locke chuckled, a manly smile playing on his adventurous lips. "You're not _that_ injured. Ready to go to work?"

"Work where?" Boone stumbled towards Locke, trying not to fall down. Locke looked so far away... the ground in between him and Boone seemed to stretch out for miles, but a second later Boone nearly bumped right into Locke because he was suddenly _very_ close. Then Boone blinked and looked away because the world was spinning around him again and there seemed to be multiple Locke standing in front of him. By the time Locke answered his question, Boone had been so distracted that he'd forgotten what it was.

"At the hatch, silly," Locke said for some reason. What was at the hatch again? Locke then glanced over at Shannon nervously. "Is she asleep?"

Boone shrugged. "I think she is... or she's dead..." He laughed wildly and practically fell into Locke's arms. Locke propped him back up easily and held him for a second so he could get his feet firmly planted on the ground.

"She's not dead yet," Locke said with a smile. Boone nodded.

"Yeah, not yet," he blindly agreed. Then he frowned at Locke. "Yet?"

"Just a little joke," Locke assured Boone. "Come on, let's get moving."

They slowly started making their way through the jungle, Boone holding Locke's arm with one hand so he didn't fall over. They passed several field mice along the way, which Locke killed and put in a bag for dinner later.

They were nearing the hatch when Locke started talking to Boone again.

"Boone? Have you ever noticed that, when you're really quiet, you can almost hear... whispers... in the jungle?"

"Whispers?" Boone repeated stupidly, looking around nervously. "Is that a kind of bug?" If it was, he was out of here. Whispers... they sounded dangerous...

"No!" Locke said. "You know what whispers are, Boone."

He did?

"Boone...!"

"Oh yeah." Whispers...

They hopped over a large log that was in the middle of the path. Boone bumped into Locke again when they had landed, and Locke easily held him up with his muscular arms.

"So have you heard them?" Locke asked. Wait... heard what? "The whispers?" Oh yeah. "My hunch is that they're the spirits of the island's many sacrifices, come back to warn us of dangers." Boone stared at Locke like he was crazy.

"Well that's dumb," he snorted. "Your hunch stinks." It kind of did.

Locke gave Boone a very dark, dangerous look as they entered the hatch's clearing. "Do you have any better ideas?"

Boone glared back at Locke with slightly unfocused eyes, feeling a surge of anger but not knowing why. "Yeah I do. I think it's Michael. He speaks to himself as he wanders."

Locke kicked the ground and jerked his arm away from Boone because his idea made more sense. "Sit down!" he said to him roughly. But Boone had already fallen to the ground when Locke had jerked his arm away. He looked up at Locke and pouted.

"John," he said grumpily. "I'm tired of this hatch. I hate lying to everyone, 'specially Shannon, and I hate drinking so much coffee every day cause it gives me the jitters." Everything seemed terrible to him right now. He wasn't really sure why... it must be something in the air...

Locke nodded at him to continue.

"I'm not gonna open this hatch if only _we_ know about it cause I'm beginning to think that it's really dumb and pointless."

"Is that all?" Locke asked, tapping his foot to an interesting rhythm.

Boom-badda-boom-badda-boone-boone-boone.

"No!" Boone exclaimed. "I also think that you ought ta try to ax it open again and stuff instead of giving up right away! That's hardly trying! You're- you're so mean!" he finished weakly.

He contemplated standing up for the effect but thought better of it. He waited anxiously for Locke to say something, but the cool man just sat there with a grim expression on his face, staring at Boone, making him squirm around nervously. It felt like he was staring straight into Boone's soul and ripping it apart with his _bare teeth_.

"Boone," Locke said. "I think you need to reconsider this." Then he stood up, walked over to Boone, and knocked him out with the handle of his knife.

...

"Shannon, are you alright? Shannon?" Sayid was saying in that wonderful accent of his. He brushed Shannon's hair out of her slowly opening eyes and she sighed.

"I think I had a flashback," Shannon told him. He frowned.

"Was it unpleasant?" he asked bracingly.

"Not really..." Shannon sighed again. "But... it reminded me of stuff that I'd rather forget about."

Sayid nodded grimly. "So, sorry to remind you of more preferably forgotten things, but where is Boone?"

Oh yeah. DANG IT. Shannon frowned and looked around. "I... have no idea. Where's _Jack_?"

"Off being unhelpful somewhere else," Sayid grumped. "He's the rudest person I know." Then he looked around the clearing, searching for blood from Boone's head or smashed leaves from his dizzy stumbling but saw nothing but a smashed pile of leaves three feet from Shannon. "Where could Boone have gone?"

"Maybe Seth got him?" Shannon whispered nervously. Sayid smiled at her and shook his head.

"Seth has never _gotten_ anyone because he is not real," he said very confidently.

Shannon paused to process this new information, then asked, "Do you think it was Ethan?"

Sayid rubbed his beard thoughtfully, thinking that over. Then he shook his head. "No, I don't think Ethan would have any use for Boone..."

"But... he had a use for Claire?" Shannon gulped. She stood up and Sayid grabbed her arm to keep her upright, just in case she had another flashback. He was so thoughtful... Shannon smiled at him lovingly.

"Ethan could have many uses for Claire. She's pregnant, and a very vulnerable young woman," Sayid said, looking up at the sky, which was starting to get cloudy.

"Do you think he's a vampire?" Shannon whispered suddenly, leaning in closer to Sayid. The jungle seemed creepier all of a sudden, and it was slowly getting darker.

Sayid raised his eyebrows at her. "Boone or Ethan?"

"Ethan," Shannon said. Sayid started guiding her back to the caves protectively, wanting to stay out of the storm. He shook his head again.

"Shannon, vampires aren't real," he said. She grimaced and looked away. "I promise."

"Okay," Shannon sighed. "I believe you."

...

Jack was getting angrier and angrier the more he went over his problems in his mind. His life was so terrible! _EVERYTHING WAS TERRIBLE TO JACK._

Jack spat on the ground just as Hurley walked up, coming out of nowhere. Hurley raised his eyebrows at Jack disgustedly.

"Really, dude?" he said. Jack huffed, annoyed at being interrupted in his nasty thoughts about Sawyer.

"Well," he said defensively, and quite cruelly, in his opinion, "I grew up rough, what am I to do but _spit it all out_."

"Huh?" Hurley stared at him in open disbelief and confusion. Jack felt like ripping his throat out. He was that mad. And the freaky thing was, Hurley didn't seem to notice. He just kept staring.

"HURLEY, I AM _VERY_ ANGRY RIGHT NOW!" Jack shouted at him. Hurley took a step backward in shock, and all the surrounding cave-dwellers stopped what they were doing and stared. "I AM _SO_ MAD RIGHT NOW THAT-"

"Jack!" a voice called out. A terrible... terribly beautiful... voice that both made Jack want to snap her neck and kiss her all over at the same time.

"Kate, _what are you doing here_?" Jack snarled. Kate put her hands on her hips and gave Jack a _give it up _look. But Jack refused to. "_I thought you lived at the beach_?"

"I do," Kate said. It was amazing how she just completely stole the spotlight when she spoke, how no one could look away from her. She was stupid, but everyone was listening to her more than they had ever listened to anyone else before. Everyone, that was, except Jack.

"Blah blah blah who cares. Get out, ugly!" Jack cried. There was some nervous laughter over in the corner but when Jack raised his fist with an evil expression on his face the person shut up. Good. Now was not the time for laughing.

"Oh, Jack," Kate sighed, walking closer. "Don't be an idiot. _You_ care. And I am _not_ ugly." She brushed some hideous- gorgeous, really- hair out of her hazel eyes and Jack tried not to stare. "Jack, you need to stop acting like a jerk to everyone, okay? What the heck is wrong with you?" She rolled her eyes."Uh- sorry. That doesn't help. I meant to say, please cut it out. I- _no one_- likes this _new you_."

Jack glared at the cave floor, his mouth twisted into the horrible expression of a humiliated man. Kate had a point- why did she have a point? Why was he so grumpy? Why was everyone so stupid?

"Why?"

"What?" Kate said. She was close enough to touch him now. She didn't.

"Just- why?"

"Uh, dudes, sorry for interrupting this, you know, deep moment, but I wanted to let everyone know that we are out of coffee." Hurley's voice seemed overly loud and awkward even though he was speaking quietly. Everyone was impacted by his words.

"WHAT? NO COFFEE?" While Jack started shrieking at Kate and Kate shouted profanities back at him, the extras ran around the caves, bumping into the walls, and each other. No coffee? That was HORRIBLE. HOW WOULD THEY LIVE! See, the survivors needed their coffee to cope with their terrible lives. It was the only addictive thing they had access to. Now that they didn't have it, they panicked, and they would soon start destroying things.

"Dudes!" Hurley was saying, trying to calm them down. Coffee didn't seem as important to him now that it was the afternoon and he wasn't tired. Everyone turned to him and started walking to him dangerously, as if HE had caused the problem. Everyone but Arzt, who was running around saying "BOONE! BOONE TOOK THE COFFEE!"

Hurley noticed with a jolt that some of the people at knives. Revenge, a voice in his mind said to him, and that set it off again. You idiot, you shouldn't have told them, he thought. You're a fool. Look, they have daggers. Remind you of anyone? You're insane. You'd be better off dead.

But his inner voice shut up when someone started dragging him out if the caves from behind. Hurley basically freaked out.

"DUDES! HELP ME!" he yelled at Jack and Kate, but they were still arguing. "HELP!" He turned to see who had him and was scared to see that it was Jin. But he wasn't angry...

Jin managed to get Hurley all the way out of the caves safely, and then they ran into the jungle, away from the crazy people. It was raining. Jin pulled Hurley in a quiet little clearing and put his finger to his lips.

"Quiet," he said to Hurley. Hurley nodded and put his finger to his lips back to show that he understood. They heard the crowd of caffeine-addicts march by as they got soaked to the bone by the rain. Once the crowd seemed to be gone, Hurley grinned at Jin, his water-soaked hair plastered to his face.

"Thanks for saving my neck, dude!" he said, hugging him. But Jin just shook his head and opened his mouth to talk. When he spoke, it was in English.

"Coffee."

...

Boone opened his eyes slowly, in a daze. He looked around his surroundings, thinking hard. His thoughts seemed more muddled and confused than usual, which was strange. Why was he here, in this strange forest clearing?

Jungle clearing, he corrected himself. Even though there were pine trees. It made no sense, but whatever. And why was he here?

Oh yeah. Locke had knocked him out... but how did he get _here_? This wasn't where the hatch was... oh, that stupid hatch. Boone hated it now. But he didn't have time for hating things right now, not when he was sitting here in the middle of the jungle in the rain with a head injury. He needed to do something.

_Fine Locke_, he thought. Then: _No, I mean FIND Locke. He is not fine at all. _He needed to find Locke and ask him why he'd knocked him out. But when he tried to stand up, he couldn't, and not just because he was incredibly dizzy. He was tied to a tree!

Tied to a tree! He hadn't even realized he was _leaning _against a tree. So, had Locke really knocked him out, dragged him away, and tied him to a tree? That was... cruel. Insane. Did Locke have a disorder, Boone wondered? Was he a psycho?

"Locke, if you're still here, I want you to know that I... don't think I like you anymore. It might be best if I sever ties with you, if ya know what I mean?" Boone said into the dark, wet jungle.

There was no response. The rain poured down on Boone, soaking his clothes so much that they were plastered tight against his body, and he began to get colder and colder.

"John..." Boone shivered. This was not funny at all. It made Boone regret the time when he'd let his friends tie up some unconscious homeless man and send him drifting out to sea on a rowboat during a thunderstorm. Not that he'd helped with that plan, but still. He hadn't stopped it. At the time it had seemed more important to maintain his status as The Coolest Guy in Los Angeles County Private High School but now that _he_ was tied up and all alone he felt kind of bad about that.

"John, please if you can hear me, let me go. Please, let me go now!" Boone struggled against the bonds the way he'd seen people do in movies but it did nothing to help his situation. "Let me go!"

"And why... would he do that?" growled a dark, evil voice from behind some bushes. Boone knew before he saw him that it was not John Locke. The man's voice was deep and sultry, but at the same time it made Boone feel sick to the stomach and very, very afraid. He needed to get away... he couldn't talk to this guy.

"Go away, please!" he said quickly, hoping to make the person leave. No luck.

Seth Norris flew creepily into the clearing. At least, Boone was pretty sure it was Seth Norris, because he was ugly like a monster and everyone said Seth was a monster, right? He had dark, thick hair that went down to his chin, cruel red eyes, and a mean, pugnacious smile on his ugly face. Boone was shocked to see that he was slightly overweight- he'd always thought that Seth Norris would be scarily fit like all the bullies at Los Angeles County Private High School had been. Seth was dressed in a black, rag-like shirt that showed some patches of his pasty white skin, and he also had on brown jeggings.

The one thing Boone thought about Seth's strange attire was, _I would look so much better in that_.

"Okay, are you Seth Norris?" Boone asked him. Seth grinned.

"How'd ya guess?" he said, floating down to the ground and walking towards Boone slowly. He stood only a few feet away from him and just stared.

"Uh," Boone said nervously. "What's this about? Did you tie me up?"

"No," Seth Norris said, laughing hollowly and shaking his head. "Locke did that, you were right."

Boone was upset by this. Why was Locke so mean? "Why is Locke so mean?"

Seth thought for a moment. "Well, I supposed he liked having you on his side. Having a follower. Maybe he finally realized that the only way–" he slammed a chubby fist into his hand, and no, it was not_ his_ chubby fist- "to get people to really, truly follow you is to cause them pain and misery, let them see what it's like, then threaten to hurt one of their loved ones like that if they don't follow them!"

"That," Boone glared at Seth, "is monstrous, and even if John tied me to a tree, he would NEVER do _that_ to anyone!" Seth raised his eyebrows at Boone. "No, really!" Boone exploded. "He's not like you! He's just stressed out cause of the hatch, is all."

"He tied you to a tree and left you out in the rain," Seth said flatly, scratching his protruding belly in a bored way.

"Well, I don't care, I think he's cool, but I HATE y–"

"You know that I have slaves all over this island who would kill you the second I told them to?" He still looked very bored. Boone felt an extreme surge of hatred for the man who had crashed their plane awhile ago.

"What, are you too wimpy to do it yourself?" Boone spat at him recklessly. He tossed his head arrogantly the way he always did when he was angry. "And you know, slavery is illegal." Boone _distinctly_ remembered learning that in school.

Seth threw his head back and laughed, a strong, deep laugh that seemed to vibrate all the jungle around them.

"Actually," he told Boone when he was done laughing, "I just can't be bothered to kill. That's why I have Barry." He completely ignored the other big issue. Whatever. Sometimes people still did illegal things, even though they were illegal. That's why Kira should exist, Boone thought. To bring justice to those who harmed others.

"Who's Barry?" Boone asked.

"My brother."

Seth snapped his fingers and a middle-aged man in a black jumpsuit came slowly into the clearing. He bore a vague resemblance to Seth, but while Seth was chubby and pig-like, Barry looked on the brink of starvation. His face was hollow and forlorn and plastic chains bound his hands and feet together so that he had to awkwardly hop over to Boone and Seth.

"You did this... to your own brother?" Boone gasped. "That's terrible!" Barry frowned at him and nodded in agreement.

"Isn't it?" Seth smirked. "But I'm evil, you know, so it's okay!"

Um...

"Being evil does not give you an excuse for doing stuff like this!" Boone said angrily. "Especially to your family!"

"Oh, don't give me any of that crap. We hate each other. And really, tell me you haven't ever felt like doing this to your sister." He crossed his arms triumphantly. _Ha. Top that, Pretty Boy._

"I... have never-" Boone started, but Seth cut him off.

"Even when she runs off with that Sayid guy?" he smiled. "She's not good enough for you, you know."

Boone didn't know what to say to that. Luckily, though, he didn't have to think of a response. There was a rustle in the bushes nearby and Seth looked up in alarm.

"Gotta go," he told Boone urgently, then he grabbed Barry and they disappeared in an alarmingly showy puff of golden glitter.

Boone stared in shock as the glitter floated softly to the ground.

"Ah, Boone, I see you're awake," came Locke's voice as he walked into the clearing. Boone looked up at him with a frown on his face. Please, no more excitement, not now."Time to get started."

...

"He said that to you!"

"YES! He's a jerk! He's a chicken! Not even a chicken! Not even a _maggot_!"

Kate was stamping her feet angrily. She was in the library with Sawyer, telling him all about her argument with Jack. She was in a terrible mood.

"Then what?" Sawyer asked. "How'd you respond to that?" Sawyer was sitting at the library table, half reading a book about business management, half listening to Kate's rant. He looked at Kate, expecting some amazing comeback.

"Well," Kate scowled, "I told him that he could..." she paused and looked over to the corner, where Walt was drawing. "I told him that he should **** off and that I don't ******* wanna see his **** face around here ever again."

Walt looked up from his drawing with a devious smile on his face. "Whoa!" he giggled, and then he continued his drawing of flying scribbles attacking a stick figure man with thick dark hair.

"Kate," Sawyer sighed, pressing his fingers against his forehead in exasperation. "Watch your language."

"So what, you're siding with him!" Kate burst out in shock. "He deserved it! He's an idiot!" She stamped her foot in frustration again. Sawyer raised his eyebrows at her.

"I never said I was siding with Jack," Sawyer said slowly. "Why would I ever side with him? I'm with you completely, just don't swear in front of toddlers."

Kate looked around. "I see no toddlers," she said, honestly confused.

Sawyer gestured helplessly at Walt.

"I am not a toddler!" Walt said indignantly, looking up from his drawing again. "I'm ten!"

"Well it's still not okay, Kate," Sawyer said. Kate rolled her eyes. Walt could pick that language up anywhere. He'd probably even heard that stuff before, and worse.

"Yeah, okay. Whatever." She reached into her pocket and fingered the toy car that she had gotten from the case. As usual, it calmed her down a bit. But it depressed her, too. Whatever.

"Sawyer, do you think Jack and I will ever get back together?" Kate asked absentmindedly, in a dazed sort of way. Sawyer gaped at her. "What?" she said.

"Excuse me," Sawyer said tersely. He pushed past Kate roughly and _left the library_.

"What?" Kate said again. "Sawyer, come back!" She walked out of the tent. Sawyer was already storming into the jungle. "Oh, Sawyer!" Kate called out, stomping her foot again. "Sorry! That was a dumb question! Come back!"

He didn't.

Kate burst into tears and stomped her foot again. It wasn't fair! Nothing worked out the way she wanted it to. Walt walked out of the library, holding his drawing, and glared her.

"Oh, don't be such a baby, Kate. And stop ruining all your relationships!" He stormed away. Kate threw a clump of sand against the wall and then cried even harder

...

Boone was having a flashback as Locke mixed crazy ingredients in a bowl in front of him. He was still tied to the tree... but at the same time...

_Boone was walking down a street in sunny Sydney, Australia, eating out of a small bag of Scooby Doo fruit snacks that had been in his pocket. He was humming softly to himself, window shopping as he walked down the street._

_"Nice sunglasses..." he muttered, passing a store for them. He decided to go into the store to check them out. _

_The store was pleasant and air-conditioned, and a young brunette was working at the counter. She was counting the money in the register when Boone came in. She smiled at him politely, glancing up from her work._

_"Hi, how can I help you?" she chirped in an Australian accent. Boone smiled at her._

_"Oh, well, I saw a really hot pair of sunglasses just now and thought that I might wanna check them out," Boone said. She smiled at him for real this time._

_"Sure!" She walked around the counter to Boone. "Which ones are they?"_

_"Over here, by the window," Boone told her, and he led her over to them. Her jaw-dropped when she saw them._

_"Oh, these..." she said, glancing at him nervously. He raised his eyebrows and she continued. "These are rather expensive..."_

_"Oh much?" Boone asked arrogantly. "I'm rich."_

_"I'm not," the clerk muttered under her breath. "Well, I don't know how much it would be in America..." She glanced at him again. "$350 here in Australia."_

_"I think I can manage that," Boone said. The sunglasses were awesome, black and shiny and just overall amazing. He could afford $350 for sunglasses. He reached into his wallet and counted the money out. He grabbed the glasses and went over the counter. The clerk rushed over to him._

_"You sure, sir?" she asked. Boone smiled at her. _

_"I think I know what I'm doing." He slid the money across the counter and bagged the sunglasses himself. As the clerk hastily counted the money, he drummed his fingers against the counter and hummed his little tune again. Catching his reflection in the counter, he thought to himself, _I really am gorgeous. How can Shannon not like me?

_"Oh!" the clerk exclaimed. "Sir, here, you put in fifty dollars too many. You must not be used to Australian currency." She held the notes out to Boone, but he shook his head with a smirk._

_"Nah, it's a tip," he said, then he leaned in. "Uh, hey, do you happen to know a guy named Brian Larkers?" _

_She stared at him for a minute to comprehend the information then frowned. "Actually, I do. Tall, brown hair?"_

_Boone nodded. "Always smiling?"_

_"Yes!" the clerk laughed. "Yeah, I... went to school with him. Why?"_

_"Well," Boone said, lowering his voice conspiratorially, "he's trying to marry my- best friend, and I really don't think that he's... you know, right for her?" The clerk nodded slowly._

_"Yeah?"_

_"So, I was wonderin' if you knew of anyone else I could set him up with..."_

_"So you're-" the clerk paused. "You're trying to sabotage their relationship? Bugger!" _

_"Well, pretty much," Boone admitted sheepishly. "So, do you?" The clerk nodded._

_"Actually... yes. Er, her name's Gina Lewis." She paused. "She's his ex. They're still pretty close."_

_"Perfect," Boone muttered. "Get them together." _

_"I'll try," she sighed. "Can you go now, please?" She pocketed her tip._

_"Yeah. What's your number?" Boone asked, getting ready to go._

_"Shut up," the clerk muttered. Boone swore under his breath and left the building, with his sunglasses... and the rudiments of a plan._

_..._

"John, whatever it is you're doing, please hurry it up," Boone said, waking up from the flashback and trying not to think about it. Stupid, bad memories. Stupid Boone. He was so stupid.

Locke looked up from his strange bowl of mush.

"I'm almost done," he said. He stood up, and rain bounced off of his smooth, bald head and splashed onto the jungle floor in a cool, exotic way. Boone sat up straighter in the bonds that bound him to the tree.

"What is that anyway?" he asked. Locke smiled at him, the same crinkly, creepy smile that he always gave Boone, but now, instead of pleasing Boone and making him feel special, it chilled him to the bone because he had no idea what Locke had in store for him. "What do you want to use that stuff for? Is it... food?"

Mush was food, right?

"No, it's not food," Locke told Boone, scooping the goop out and putting it into a ziplock bag. Boone squirmed uncomfortably in the mud he was sitting on, blinking rain and stray hairs out of his blue eyes.

"You do realize," Boone said, coughing all of a sudden because of the strong smell of... something... coming from the bowl Locke had, "That I defended you to Seth Norris earlier?"

Locke, who had been snipping the corner off of the baggy, froze. Then he slowly turned his, cold, calculating light eyes onto Boone.

"You spoke to Seth?" Locke asked. Boone nodded. "When was this?" Locke carefully squeezed the bag to test it. A drop of the mush the size of a pin dropped gently to the ground. Boone watched it fall nervously, still wondering what it was.

"A couple minutes ago. He just ranted about slaves. And about how you are..."

"What am I?" Locke asked curiously, taking a step closer to Boone and holding the bag so that his concoction didn't spill out.

"He basically said you were evil, really," Boone told him. "What is that goop?"

Locke frowned at Boone. "I am not evil," he said pointedly, strongly emphasizing each word. Boone nodded.

"Yeeeah, get that stuff away from me," Boone said, wriggling around. He frowned. Locke wasn't getting the stuff away from him. He was bringing it closer. "John. _Come on_."

"I'm going to let you talk to the island, Boone," Locke told him. Boone jerked his head away and was suddenly very dizzy again. He felt like he was going to vomit, both from the smell of the goop and the vertigo.

With the return of the dizziness came the confusion again, and Boone didn't resist when Locke began squeezing the mysterious goop onto his head wound like it was icing and Boone's head was the pie that was for some reason being decorated with icing. The goop was cold and slimy and as soon as it touched Boone's head it left a weird taste in Boone's mouth like... banana bread.

"Whoa, John," Boone stammered, blinking fast because the world was spinning around him again. Locke smiled at him and pulled out his knife. "John..."

Locke stuck the knife in Boone's leg. It should have hurt, but it didn't. It just stung like a bat.

"Uhh..." Boone moaned, shaking violently. Locke was standing up and swaying around, just like all the trees around them.

"Boone," Locke said in an echoey voice, "Once you feel up to it... with the proper, let's say, motivation... you can cut yourself free."

He started walking away, but he turned back right before he left the clearing. He appeared to be thinking about what he was going to say and was rubbing his stubble.

"Be careful," he said finally. "Oh and, Boone?"

Boone nodded. It hurt.

"Tell me what the island says."

That was the last thing Boone heard before he passed out again.

END OF PART ONE


	11. Boone Carlyle vs the World part two

**Boone Carlyle vs. the World PART TWO**

Kate was wandering rather aimlessly across the beach. It was raining, much to her displeasure. She wished she had an umbrella. To be precise, she wished she had a pink and green striped umbrella. Just then she noticed Hurley and Jin. They were having an argument. Kate groaned. Jin appeared to be trying to strangle Hurley

"Hurley! Jin!" Kate called out. They looked over at her and she jogged up to them. "Cool it, alright?" she said to Jin. He stared at her blankly.

"Pardon me?" he asked in Korean. Kate frowned at him.

"Stop," she said, holding up her hands to try and better convay the message. Jin nodded slowly.

"No," he replied in English. He pointed at Hurley. "Coffee."

"DUDE!" Hurley yelled. "I DO NOT HAVE ANY COFFEE!"

"Coffee?" Kate sighed. "You're still stuck on that? God, Jin." Jin glared at her, not understanding the words, but understanding the exasperation behind them.

"Coffee!" he said again, this time with much more intensity. Hurley shook his head.

"NO!" he shouted.

"Hurley, yelling doesn't help him understand any better," Kate told him. "So shut up. I have a headache."

"Dude, this guy's been on my back like all afternoon!" Hurley said. Kate frowned.

"Because he wants coffee?" she said in disbelief. Hurley nodded. "Well then, why don't you give him some?"

"Kate!" Hurley spluttered. "We don't have any coffee!"

Kate gave him a sly smile. "In the caves, maybe," she said. "But here, on the beach... we've got a coffee machine in the library."

Jin had been watching them both with interest, and when Kate said "coffee" with smile, he smiled back.

"Coffee?"

"Yes!" Kate told him. Hurley was gazing at Kate in happy disbelief. Kate smiled at him warmly and took them to the library.

"You saved my life, dudette!" Hurley told her later when they were all settled around the library table enjoying nice, tall mugs of espresso. Kate smiled generously at Hurley.

"No problem," she told him. "And just for the record, I doubt Jin would have killed you."

Jin was hastily gulping at his as if he needed to go somewhere. He finished his coffee in less than a minute, then stood up.

"Sun," he said to them, then he started to leave. Kate slammed her mug down quickly, coffee splashing onto the table.

"Wait, Jin, let me come with you!" she said. Jin looked at her for a minute in confusion, then shook his head and walked out of library. Kate followed him.

"Jin," she said as he tromped across the sand. He glared at her, irritated. "Jin, you need to give her a break once and a while."

Kate wished desperately that she could speak Korean. She needed to stall Jin, because Sun wasn't in the caves like she was supposed to be. She was at her garden. And that would no doubt anger Jin.

"Seriously, Jin... God. This is impossible. Why do I even try?" Jin glared at her even more. "I just- stop walking! Please!"

Jin kept walking.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just stupid, meddling in other peoples' affairs. No one meddles in mine. I wish they would, though!" Kate was mostly talking to herself at this point, and Jin's frown was fading a way, being replaced with an expression of amusement. "I just- Sawyer and Jack are so complicated!" she burst out. "Well, not really, but Jack has a complete attitude problem, and Sawyer-"

She paused. What WAS it about Sawyer, anyway? Jin looked at her expectantly. Ha. He couldn't even understand her.

"He's so... good. Too good for me, that's for sure," she laughed.

"Oh yes, I am," came a voice out of the bushes. A Jack voice. "You were talking about me, right?" Jack walked over to them, looking surprised to see who it was. "Well, if it isn't Kate and her newest boyfriend?"

"Jin is not my boyfriend," Kate said shortly. "He's married."

"We were engaged when you cheated on me with Sawyer," Jack said nastily. "So I thought stuff like that didn't matter to you." He walked up closer to them. "You look horrible," he lied.

"Thanks," Kate said, tossing her hair over her shoulder just because she knew it drove Jack wild. He looked away grumpily. Good. Mission accomplished. "_You_'ve looked better."

"I know," Jack moaned sadly, forgetting who he was with for a moment. "It's my shirt. Red really isn't my color. I need to go home and change." Kate raised her eyebrows at him and he remembered to be mad again. "It would look even worse on you!"

"_Pa_thetic," Kate said. She frowned at the doctor. "Must we keep fighting like this? I feel like one of the Lockhorns."

"The whats?" Jack sneered.

"Never mind," Kate sighed. "It was something Sawyer said earlier. _I_ don't even get it."

"Humph. Stupid Sawyer." Jack crossed his arms sourly.

"You wish," Kate said. She smiled at Jack then, because she really did want to be his friend again. "You look lovely. Can we at least be, like, friends? I can stop going out with Sawyer. I care that much about you!" _Yeah, right._

"Yeah, as if," Jack laughed. Then: "Okay, if you promise not to date Sawyer, we can be friends again." Kate's jaw dropped, but then again, complements always worked on Jack. Kate only needed to say one thing to him and he was immediately being nice to her again.

"Oh, Jack," Kate smiled. "You have no idea how *cough cough* _happy_ that makes me." Jack grinned at her. He had a nice smile, but it was almost never on his face. Sawyer smiled all the time. And he had dimples...

Just then, another person walked onto the jungle path. A person so ruggedly good-looking that Kate almost regretted speaking to Jack again.

"Hi, Sawyer," Kate sighed. Sawyer smiled at her sadly, but then he noticed Jack.

"Jack," he said stiffly. He walked up to the doctor. "I need to talk to you."

"Feel free," Jack shrugged. "'M right here. Go ahead." Kate bit her lip anxiously, wanting them to stop talking before they started fighting.

"The way you treated Katie earlier-" Sawyer began, but Jack cut him off with an incredulous look.

"'Katie'?" he snorted. "You call her _Katie_. _Ooh_ boy. Look, Sawyer, I'm sorry I guess and so is Kate and we're back together."

"WHAT!" Sawyer exclaimed. He whipped around to stare at Kate. "You two got back together? I- I don't believe it- you two-"

"Sawyer!" Kate sighed. "You basically broke up with me earlier! Come on!"

Sawyer stomped his foot and mud from the rain splattered all around them. "WHEN YOU ASKED ME IF YOU AND JACK WOULD GET BACK TOGETHER!"

"Don't yell, I'm right here!" Kate snapped. "Look, it was a dumb question. But Jack and I, we're back together now... I guess!"

"But I-" Sawyer sobbed, now succumbing to tears. "I... You and Jack were broken- Don't you like me?" He looked at Kate with confusion and disbelief, and Kate felt terrible. Yes, she liked him! More than Jack, even! But he was too good, too gentle, too much better than Kate... she could never be good enough for him.

"I do like you, Sawyer," Kate started, with a glance at Jack. Jack was too busy glaring at a smudge on his jeans to be listening. "But... Jack and I were engaged. And we... this is supposed to be happy!"

Sawyer curled his hands into fists, his mouth closed tight like he wanted to scream. "Kate," he said, his voice wavering with suppressed emotion, "I just don't _get _you!" The he walked away, back to wherever he had come from. Kate stared at him as he left, maybe a bit too wistfully, because Jack was looking a bit annoyed.

"You know, I think he does get you," a voice said from behind them. "Better than Jack does, at least." They both turned around quickly, Kate almost falling down because of the slippery mud. It was Locke.

"I ought to kill you!" Jack said to greet him. Then he smiled arrogantly at the Bald. "What do you want, John?"

"Yeah, Locke," Kate said, not nearly as aggressively as Jack. "What do you want?"

"I was just passing by!" Locke said defensively. "I overheard part of your conversation with Sawyer. I think you should be with him, Kate." Kate gaped at Locke.

"No way, that's disgusting," she said. "Stay out of my love-life, John!" Locke shrugged.

"Yeah," Jack agreed with Kate, "stay out of her love-life." Then he squinted at Locke meanly. "Where's Boone? Isn't he, like, your slave?"

"Boone is busy," Locke said with a shrug.

Kate crossed her arms, standing up straighter. The rain was beginning to fade out. That ought to have been good for Sun's garden.

Wait. Sun's garden.

"Jin!" Kate said, looking around, but Jin was gone. "Ah, no, I lost him!" Locke and Jack raised their eyebrows at her, realized that the other was doing it, and stopped immediatly. "Oh, well, I was trying to keep him away from Sun. You know how they get."

Jack nodded solemnly. "I do indeed. It's awful." He frowned at Kate. "Kind of like how _we_ were." _Just a couple of minutes ago_, Kate thought. You freak.

Locke left the path then, no doubt to go kill something, and Jack grabbed ahold of Kate's hand eagerly.

"Let's go, Kate," he said even more eagerly.

"Where?" Kate asked in confusion. The realization of her choice was finally sinking in. Jack wanted them to go back to how their relationship was before. Lot's kissing and stuff... and no depth.

"Back to the caves," Jack answered her. "To make out."

"I murdered someone," Kate reminded Jack. "And I'm _pretty_ sure you said you hated me." Jack's upper lip curled in distaste.

"I know you're a murderer, but I'm _trying_ to be _nice_ and look _past_ that, Katie," he told her. "Don't you want to move on from that?"

Kate thought that over. _Did_ she want to move on? Didn't she have to work through it first? She couldn't just forget about it. "I guess? I like you, Jack."

"And I like YOU! So let's go!" Jack huffed. So Kate followed him, wondering how in the world one compliment had changed his attitude so completely.

...

_So many ways to make me fly... how had no one thought of it before?_

Boone woke up, and for the first time ever his thoughts were clear and flowed through his mind with ease. They came fast, smooth, and in no particular order. And they made perfect sense... to Boone. Right now, he knew that there was something he had to do. He had to save Shannon. She was trapped in a cave in, and only Boone could get her out because he was stronger than everyone else.

Because he had superpowers.

First, though, he had to address another problem. There was a knife stuck in his leg. Because of Locke. Boone smiled. That had been a silly thing of him to do. But the knife wasn't bothering Boone one bit. He pulled it out and saw to his surprise that it was covered in jelly, leading Boone to believe that Locke had been trying to prepare some toast and had missed with the knife, causing it to land in Boone's leg.

The jelly was oozing out of his leg now, too. He wiped it away and it poured out harder.

Eew. The knife was still in his hands and he tried to cut the ropes away from his body. He managed it all right, but he felt like he might have cut himself during it, too. He felt sick. But he shook it off and stood up.

Now he felt on top of the world. He could fly, if he tried. But he didn't. No need to. Shannon was trapped in a cave, not up a tree. And he was going to save her. Just as he was about to set off, though, he had a flashback.

...

_Boone walked into Shannon's house with a smug smile on his face. He felt like he'd accomplished something quite impressive. He'd only been in Australia for one day and already he gotten a good start on his plan._

_Being an incredibly selfish person, he hoped that Brian would break Shannon's heart. That way, Boone could make her feel better. She'd have no choice but to fall in love with him then... Or would she? _

_"Boone!" Shannon called out from in the kitchen. "You're back! How was the shopping?"_

_Boone walked into the kitchen to join her. "Pretty awesome. So, I got these sunglasses." He showed them to her and she smiled with delight._

_"They're pretty sexy, Boone, you sure you can pull them off?" she asked him, her eyebrows raised._

_Boone put them on to answer her question. "What do you think?" he asked, turning from side to side to give her the full, cool, effect. "Neat, huh?"_

_"Uh-_huh_," Shannon nodded. "What else did you get?" Boone frowned._

_"Nothin'," he said sadly. "Sorry." He glanced out the kitchen window. It was night time. Weird. It felt like day time. To be more precise, it felt like nap time. Boone yawned. _

_"You tired?" Shannon asked, looking surprised, her blonde eyebrows raising. Boone nodded, staring at her eyebrows. "But, shouldn't you have jet lag or something?"_

_"_Private_ jet lag," Boone muttered. "And I do. It's nap time though. Imma go take a nap." Shannon grinned at him._

_"You honestly take naps?" she giggled._

_"Yeah. Hey, uh, when's Brian supposed to get home?" He scratched his stomach in exhaustion, lifting up his shirt a bit to show off his flat stomach. Shannon frowned._

_"He's at a party," she said a bit grumpily. "At his college. And we don't live together, Boone."_

_"You don't?" Boone yelped excitedly. "I mean, really, you don't? Yer so old-fashioned." Shannon blushed. "Just jokin'. So, is he dropping by tonight?"_

_"Why are you asking this?" Shannon asked rather testily. When she was annoyed, she could be _mean_, really mean, which was one of the things that Boone didn't particularly like about her, but it had somehow helped her reach Queen Bee status at their high school (Boone hadn't really needed to do anything to be popular because he was already rich, attractive, and athletic which, combined, made him Best). _

_"I'm asking because I want to. So answer," Boone snapped. Shannon shrugged._

_"I don't know. Probably not. But he's coming for breakfast."_

_Boone frowned at his feet._ _"Okay. Where's the guest bedroom?"_

_Shannon smiled at him. "There is none."_

_"Are we..." Boone breathed hard, becoming overwhelmed with all the sudden possibilities, "sharing a room?"_

_"Uh, _no_," Shannon said. "You're sleeping on the couch, big brother." She smiled at him cutely, but purely platonically._

_"Stepbrother," Boone corrected her peevishly, and he went to go get ready for his nap._

...

Charlie heard Sawyer sobbing. It was weird. Sawyer was a grown man! He shouldn't be sobbing. Yet he was. He was the only other person in the library right now, so it had to be him.

Charlie walked over to the little bed at the far end of the library and sure enough, Sawyer was there, crying. Charlie shifted his weight around awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do now that Sawyer saw him. The Southerner started hastily wiping up his face, looking rather embarrassed.

"Hey, Charlie," he sighed. "Guess you found me."

Charlie nodded, still feeling awkward. He shouldn't have come over here... he scratched his head nervously.

"Well, Charlie, I'm sorry you had to see me like this," Sawyer said. "I'm just upset... Jack and Kate are back together..."

Charlie stared at him. What? They were back together? Whaaaaat?

"More Jate? Oh, great," Charlie sighed. Sawyer frowned at him.

"I know, right? Just when I thought that Kate and I were a couple... bam! She's with the doctor again."

"Well," Charlie said. "Who cares if she's dating Jack? You can date behind his back!"

Sawyer glared at Charlie. "Last time I didn't realize that their relationship was so serious!"

"But you did it before! Why not do it some more?" Charlie said.

"Because it's wrong!" Sawyer told him. "I'm sorry, but it is!" Charlie pouted and looked down at his feet glumly.

"It's just not fair..." Charlie sighed. "I _so_ miss Claire."

"We all do," Sawyer told him. [note from the amazing author: That is not true. _I_ do not miss Claire.]

Charlie wandered off dispassionately, lost in thoughts about the Aussie. Sawyer sighed and wiped away the remaining tears on his face. He wasn't gonna be a wimp. He was gonna take this thing like a man. As he walked out of the library, he couldn't help singing under his breath.

"_I'm lookin' for a new love, baby, a new love.._.. yeah, yeah, yeah!"

...

"You look lovely," Jack told Kate. They were in the caves by the Doctor Rock, which was a huge flat-topped boulder that Jack camped out on most of the time. Jack leaned his back against it nicely, slipping on his rumpled red shirt.

"I know," Kate smiled. What an amazing smile... "You look good too." Kate looked distracted, though. Humph.

"You okay?" Jack asked her. She nodded at him, avoiding his gaze, obviously worried about something. "No, you're not. I prescribe more kissing."

Kate giggled tiredly. "Yeah, not right now, Jack. My lips are all chapped."

"I prescribe chap stick," Jack said wisely. "And I _am_ the doctor, you know."

"I know," Kate sighed. "Do we even have any chap stick on this island?" She looked almost sad.

Jack pulled some out of his pocket and gave it to her with a grin on his face to cheer her up. "Enjoy. It's lemon flavored."

"Oh, yum," Kate muttered. She put it on her beautiful lips as Jack watched with interest.

"You look good. Always," Jack told her. Kate blushed.

"Thanks," she said. Jack waited and waited but she didn't say "you do, too". Jack was heartbroken.

"Well," he sniffed, "I guess you don't like me, do you?" He looked away from her miserably.

"Huh?" Kate said. "I don't follow. I think you're fantastic. I thought you knew that."

Jack sighed with relief. "Thank God," he said. "I was worried for a second there." Kate looked at him strangely.

"Jack," she started, but she trailed off. Jack smiled at her, puzzled.

"What?"

"Don't _you _think that you're fantastic?"

Jack didn't miss a beat. "Of course I do." Best man on Earth, he was. Always would be. He was darn sure of that.

Kate frowned. "You sure? Because your attitude almost seems completely dependent on what other people say about you."

Jack took a step back in alarm. "Kate!" He stared at her. "What a rude thing to say!"

"You see?" Kate said, sounding irritated. Jack glared at her.

"Yeah, I see that you hate me!" Gosh, the woman was bipolar! One second she was calling Jack fantastic and acting super happy and the next she's all depressed and insulting! What the heck, girl?

"_I do not hate you!_" Kate told him with many accents on the words. "Okay! Please! I _love_ you! Let's not get all like Sun and Jin,_ okay_?"

"Okay, okay, don't be so defensive," Jack whined. "I get it."

They stared at each other for a minute glumly, then Jack burst out into laughter.

"What?" Kate said, starting to smile herself because Jack's laughter was even more contagious than an air born flu. "What's so funny?"

"It's just that w-we-" Jack laughed, "we're so c-c-_cool_, and we-we're acting like toddlers right n-now!"

Kate giggled. "What? How?"

"We're being so whiny!" Jack chuckled. "That's how! Let's act c-_cool_, like we are!"

"Ookay," Kate said, still giggling. Jack felt in his heart that it was time to start kissing but...

Just then, the wonderful moment was suddenly and unexpectedly terribly horribly interrupted by Shannon and Sayid.

"Go away!" Jack snapped at them at the same time Kate said, "Hi!" Obviously she had not been getting the kissing vibe too. Huh.

"Hello," Sayid said politely, only looking at Kate. Jack snarled. "We have something to ask you," Sayid said.

Jack raised his eyebrows, now cool as a cucumber. He had_ all _the answers. "What's the question?" he sneered.

"Do you know where Boone is?" Shannon blurted out. Kate frowned. What a beautiful frown.

"No. He wasn't with Locke earlier," she told them. "I don't know where he is."

Shannon looked close to tears. "He hit his head earlier. He's hurt." Haha. Cool. He was still hurt. He deserved it.

"And," Sayid continued for Shannon, "if _Jack_ had helped him earlier, he probably wouldn't be lost right now!" Shannon burst into tears. Okay, not fair.

"What if he's _dead?_!" Shannon cried. "I was such a jerk to him! We were both such jerks! What if he's missing like- like Claire!" Sayid patted her back gently, shooting a nasty look at Jack, who felt _very _ganged up on right now.

At the mention of Claire, Kate had burst into tears too. Jack swore. Loudly.

"Look, guys, if I see Boone, I will treat him!" he said. But instead of thanking him gratefully for his amazing consideration, they all just frowned at him. "I'll even be nice to him!" Jack said desperately, wanting to be loved.

"Not good enough," Sayid said.

"_Find_ him!" Shannon sobbed.

"Be nice to _everyone_!" Kate cried.

Jack laughed rather nervously. "Now that's a bit overboard, guys." They scowled at him, Shannon with puffy red eyes, Sayid showing his teeth, and Kate with gorgeous tears slowly gliding down her stunning face. "No, really!" Jack said. "I can't look for him! I have a _life_!"

"You looked for Claire!" Shannon said in a shaky, accusatory voice. Jack scrunched up his face awkwardly, uncomfortable.

"Yeah, well, look what happened with that," he said, and Kate started actually sobbing. Okay, this was enough. Kate couldn't care _that_ much, could she? Shannon was sobbing too, obviously thinking about all the different terrible things that could happen to a missing person on the island, especially if they had a head injury or they were pregnant. Jack sighed.

"Look, girls," he said. Sayid cleared his throat. "And Sayid too, I guess. Fine. I will look for Boone. Now, I'm not saying I'll find him right away. I didn't even find Claire yet. But I found Charlie in less than twenty-four hours, so I know I'm pretty good. Now, I don't like Boone, but if I find him, I will try my darnedest to not let my hatred show." He paused for moment, trying to think about what would make them like him the most. "Who knows," he said thoughtfully. "Maybe I'll even end up caring for him." That was, of course, a lie.

But Kate still hugged Jack out of love. Shannon gave him a watery smile. Sayid, though, only nodded at him curiously.

"You're getting a _little_ better," he told Jack suspiciously, as if doubting the credibility of his own comment, then he led Shannon gracefully away without looking back.

...

"Bah baaah, bah baaah, this is the sound of elephants."

Boone was singing to himself as he searched for Shannon in the jungle. He was pretty sure he was getting all the words right. The were simply simple lyrics. Right on.

"I have a humming bird, twisting my pasta into thoughts..." he sang, jumping over a ten foot brick wall and landing flat on his face. "Da da, da daaa." He got up and walked quickly over to a purple tree where he sat down.

"My brain is screaming, I have an insult swallow it. But my food never reaches my mouth..." He ran a hand through his sticky hair, which was dripping with grease, and worried about Shannon. Where could she be at an hour like this? He had looked in all of the caves for her and had never found her! She must be really sick.

"Shannon!" he yelled, and then whipped around, for she was right behind him!

"Boone," Shannon sighed, relieved to see him, no doubt. "I'm so glad to see you!"

Boone looked Shannon over with careful, mindful eyes that shone like beavers. She was dressed in a pink ballroom gown and her hair was done up in a pretty bun. She looked very pretty-like.

"You look nice," Boone told her, but just then he noticed the gaping wounds all over her body. "Whoa! What happened to you!"

"It was Locke," Shannon explained, sounding deadly as a cobra killer.

"What did he do?" Boone asked.

"He hurt me and fed me to the _line monster_!" Shannon said, and tears were spilling out of her eyes like a tsunami. Boone felt a horrible, animal surge of anger. _I'm a lion_, he thought, _I'll eat you, Locke_.

He got on his hands and knees and Shannon climbed on his back and he began crawling around, looking for Locke. "Shannon, where did you see the nasty man?"

"He was over by the caves," Shannon answered, sounding close to death. "Boone, I can't hold on much longer."

"To life or to my back?" Boone asked her. She gasped for breath and told him,

"Your back."

"Will it help if I'm shirtless?" Boone asked her. Shannon smiled down at him.

"I think it would, yes," she said. Boone sat up and took off his shirt, but to his mangled horror he saw that Shannon had become a dull shade of pink while riding on his back. She was closer to death! MINUS TEN POINTS.

"Shannon," Boone whispered. "We're basically at the caves right now. Hold on." Shannon looked at him with sadly.

"Boone, I die," she mumbled, closing her eyes, which were softer than a butterfly's wings.

"Why?" Boone cried out. "Why? How come!"

"Because I was eaten by the line monster," she said. Boone was thrown into a meta... metaforkakul pit of despair.

"But WHY?" he wailed.

"Because of Locke," Shannon told him. "And Boone... I'm... dead..."

And she closed her eyes.

Boone started sobbing. "No! NOOOOO!" he screamed. "NO FAIR!"

And it just wasn't.

...

Shannon was watching as Jack packed. He was getting ready to go look for Boone in the jungle. He was packing lots of water, food, and even a raincoat and sleeping bag. That greatly worried Shannon. Would it take that long to find Boone? Then she remembered that it was almost dinner time.

"Jack, do you want me to go with you?" she asked him. He looked up, taking a large gulp of water.

"Hmm," he said, wiping his mouth. "No thanks. You stay in the caves and if Boone comes back, send Sayid out to try and fetch me. I'll be leaving a trail of bread crumbs."

"Okay," Shannon nodded. "Jack?"

"Yes?" Jack zipped up his backpack. It was bulging with all the bags of stale bread inside. "What?"

"Do... do you think that Ethan is really a vampire?" Shannon asked. Jack burst out into cruel laughter.

"No way! What an idiotic notion! Worse than your brother!" He shook his head while Shannon rolled her eyes. Jack was such a jerk!

"Okay," she sighed. "Whatever. Go find Boone." Jack looked surprised.

"Looks like _someone_'s got an attitude. You go, girl." He set off on his search while Shannon bristled with indignation. She leaned against the cave wall, groaning, and then... she had a flashback.

_Shannon dressed quickly and purposely into a green tank top and cut-off denim shorts. As she brushed her hair vigorously someone knocked on her door._

_Maybe it was Brian!_

_"Come in!" she called out, trying not to hold onto that silly hope. Indeed, her hope was dashed as soon as a bleary eyed Boone walked into the room in his pajamas. _

_"G' morning," he yawned. Shannon smiled at him, too stressed out to agree. _

_See, Brian might not live with Shannon, but he always, ALWAYS, came over for breakfast with her. If he couldn't make it he called or texted her. They had agreed on that._

_But this morning, he hadn't done either, which REALLY upset Shannon._

_"You okay?" Boone asked her. She smiled at him again._

_"Have you seen Brian?" she asked. He frowned._

_"Yeah, big guy, always smiling? Your boy? I met him yesterday," he smiled at her. "How come you ask?"_

_"Because I don't know where he is," Shannon told him. _

_"Thought he was at a party?" Boone said. Shannon glared at him._

_"You don't have a very high opinion of us, do you?" she asked him rudely. Boone shrugged._

_"Why don't we go pick him up, then?" he asked. "I need lunch any way. Giddit? Lunch? Badda bing?"_

_Shannon didn't laugh. She grabbed Boone's arm and pulled him outside, to her car. She pushed him into the seat, strapped in, and started driving._

_"Where're we going?"_

_"To find him," Shannon said. Boone raised his eyebrows at her._

_"Maybe he has a life, Shannon. This is a bit possessive of you, yes?" Boone was looking out the window grumpily. "I mean, you don't like him _that _much, do you?"_

_"We're getting married," Shannon said. "Okay?"_

_They pulled up outside Brian's apartment building and Shannon got out of the car. Boone followed her quickly, still looking rather crabby for some reason._

_They walked up to his room, Boone following behind her. When Shannon got to Brian's door, she saw two of his friends, Roy and Coby, slumped in front of the door looking hungover. _

_"Roy!" Shannon said. Roy looked at her and immediately paled. Okay, NOT a good sign. "Where's Brian?"_

_Coby sat up and glanced quickly at Roy shaking his head. Bad bad bad bad bad. _

_"Where IS he?" Shannon screeched at them. Roy bit his lip. Coby answered her._

_"Er, inside, but-"_

_Shannon ignored him and, dragging Boone along, marched right into Brian's unlocked door ignoring Roy, who kept saying, "Ooh, bugger". It was a mess inside, full of trash and empty soda cans and Chinese food boxes. Boone looked disgusted._

_"He must have terrible maids," he said. Shannon just ignored him. _

_"Brian!" she called out. No response. She ran straight to his bedroom and swung open the door._

_It was empty._

_Then she went to the bathroom to look, but it too was empty. She swore. Boone glared at her._

_"Shannon, do NOT talk like that!" he said._

_"Not the time, Boone," she snapped at him. "Dang, why did he have to host this darn party anyway? It was totally last minute."_

_Boone had a very strange expression on his face. Shannon ran to the living room, and froze._

_There was Brian. He was sitting on the couch. _

_Kissing someone else._

_Soap opera time._

_"BRIAN!" she shrieked. The couple broke apart, and Brian looked horrified. "BRIAN, HOW COULD YOU!"_

_"Shan-" Brian started, but just then Boone slugged him in the face. _

_"HOW DARE YOU?" he yelled at him. Shannon felt a surge of love for her brother. But now was not the time._

_"Brian, why? Who is this? We're ENGAGED!" Tears came to her eyes and she was helpless to stop them. _

_"I know," Brian began, but Boone punched him again. Brian was now bleeding from the mouth. "Stop it!"_

_"No!" Boone yelled, looking, for some reason, ashamed. "You can't- just- I'm sorry!" _

_The last part was directed at Shannon. _

_"What?" she said to him. "Why are you sorry?" She was too harassed at the moment to care very much though. Brian- kissing that girl..._

_"Because!" Boone started crying. "Because-I-paid-someone-to-mess-up-your-relationship!" _

_"WHAT!" Shannon yelled at Boone. Brian frowned at him._

_"What're you playing at?" he asked. Boone ignored him._

_"I'm sorry Shannon! I- I didn't know you cared so much!" He started sobbing, but Shannon had no sympathy for him at the moment._

_"OF COURSE I DID! I DO! WE'RE-"_

_"SHUT UP, EVERYONE!" someone yelled. Everyone whipped around just then, to see a short brunette girl who looked rather confused standing in the doorway. "What is this?"_

_"Why are YOU here?" Brian yelled at her. _

_"I was being paid to ruin your relationship!" the girl yelled at him. Shannon looked around in confusion. Everyone did, actually. _

_"Wait, but you're the girl from the sunglasses store," Boone said to her. "I didn't mean for YOU to do it. I meant Gina Lewis." Shannon looked at him in pain. Why would even do that in the first place?_

_"I _am_ Gina Lewis, you wanker. What is this?" the girl asked. Shannon looked again at Brian, beginning to understand. _

_"Who's that then?" Boone asked, pointing to the girl Brian had been kissing. The girl glared at him._

_"I'm Ronnie," she said. "Brian's girlfriend."_

_"_I'm_ his girlfriend," Shannon cried. Boone was looking almost relieved now. Uh-uh, mister. You're not getting off that easy._

_"But- ohhh," Boone said. "See, so I did nothing wrong." He looked pleased with himself. Shannon burst into tears._

_"Brian, how could you?" she screeched. Brian shrugged._

_"I dunno. She's cute?"_

_"WHAT!" Shannon yelped, and Boone punched Brian again, knocking him out. Then he pulled Shannon out of the room._

_"Let's go," he said. "We're done here."_

_..._

"Stupid mud. I hate mud, it's so inconvenient."

Jack was grumbling to himself as he exited the caves. "And I have to search for Boone in these conditions. Oh, great." He swore.

Jack made his way out of the caves and past the stream of water. He turned left into the first of many clearings, and-

Found Boone.

"Well, I AM good at this," he said to himself. "Bet no one else could find someone _this_ fast." He smiled to himself and then worried if it made him look too happy. Happy people looked dumb. He stroked his hair back arrogantly and grimaced.

He walked over to Boone then, who was writhing on the ground muttering to himself. Jack took him all in.

Boone had a strange yellowish gunk in his damp, tangled hair. His forehead and both sides of his face were coated with dried blood. His left pant leg was also heavily stained with blood. The leg was twitching strangely. Boone's shirt was pulled up half way so that one of the sleeves was over his shoulder, revealing a very muddy chest and stomach. Jack held back his many laughs.

"Boone, you okay?" he said loudly. Boone whipped around to see him and started screaming. "Hey, shut up!" He didn't. Oh, come on. "Can I have some help here, please?" Jack called out, but no one could hear him. Boone quieted down, though.

"Shannon died," he told Jack sadly. "From the line monster. I'm a vampire."

Jack smiled at him. "Yeah, whatever you say. I suggest you shut up." Boone nodded.

"Yes, sir!" he said respectfully, and Jack loved him for it. He picked him up and slung him over his back with ease that came from years of lifting weights at the gym.

Jack got Boone back to the caves in less than a minute and ran him over to the Doctor Rock. Shannon, who was sitting right there, stared, jaw dropped.

"You found him already? Is he okay? What happened?" Shannon was babbling insignificant questions as Jack set to work being a doctor. First he pulled a length of rope out of his bag and strapped Boone down onto the rock. There. Let's see him try to move now.

After several seconds of doing that, Jack started evaluating his injuries. "Stabbed leg. Head wound. Probably a concussion. Weird gunk stuff. Ugliness, but that is hard to cure. Same goes for stupidity." He smiled at Shannon toothily. She scowled at him. "Let's see, mud all over him. Infection? He is writhing and muttering nonsense." He stroked his chin. "Hmm. Where's Kate?"

Shannon looked around frantically. "She was here a minute ago!"

"KATE?" Jack called out. Kate didn't come though. Where was that woman? DANG IT! "Well, where's Sayid?"

"Um, I don't kn-"

"Right here," Sayid said, coming out from behind a rock. "Why do you need me?" Jack smiled at him.

"I need you to get me all of Sawyer's alcohol, now!" he said. Sayid stared at him.

"What? This is not the time for drinking!" he said in his annoying accent. Jack rolled his eyes.

"'_This is not the time for drinking'_. Puh, as if I drink! I need it to sedate Boone, obviously!" Jack frowned at Sayid and gnawed at his lip while he waited. "Well," he said a few seconds later, and stopped his gnawing, "go get me the alcohol!"

"No, Jack," Sayid said. "Not right now. I need to support Shannon in this hard time."

"Sayid, I don't need support right now!" Shannon shouted. "Go get the alcohol!" Sayid spat on the ground.

"Fine!" He stormed away, presumably to help. Jack clapped his hands and looked back at Boone, who was staring at him dully.

"What are you doing to me?" he slurred. "I'm not dead."

Shannon looked near tears. "Is his mind affected?" she asked nervously.

"His mind has _always_ been 'affected'," Jack snapped at her, shoving his backpack underneath Boone's head as a pillow. "So shut your pie hole, Rutherford."

Shannon crossed her arms stonily and turned away.

"Good. Boone, what happened to you?" Jack asked him, getting out his doctor kit. Boone shook his head.

"It was the hyenas..." he moaned. "I couldn't stop them." Jack swore.

"This isn't an animal bite, Boone, this is a stab wound. What happened?"

Boone paused, then mumbled, "He was making jelly..." Jack shook his head despairingly.

"Oh well," he said. He cut off Boone's pant leg above the stab wound and examined it. "Dang it, I'll need to clean it. Where's that dang alcohol!" He looked around grumpily for Sayid, but the man was nowhere in sight. "Grrr."

Jack grabbed a blanket and a jug of water then and washed off Boone's face. After that, he carefully pushed back Boone's hair to get a good look at his head.

"Boone, what is this gunk here?" he asked him. Boone smiled at him.

"Mus_sh_."

"That didn't help," Jack said flatly. He swiped a bit of the yellowish stuff onto his finger and smelled it. He recoiled immediately, coughing. The smell was repulsive! "Eew, get it off me!" he screeched, wiping it off on Boone's shirt, which Jack had straightened out for him.

Holding his nose, Jack leaned close to Boone's head to get a good look at the stuff. It was a strange combination of many smashed up herbs and plants. Jack was suddenly struck with some inspiration.

"Could it be..." he muttered to himself. Shannon turned around and looked at him curiously.

"What?"

"Is this a hallucinogen?" Jack asked himself. He swiped some more up and looked at it closely. "I think it is..." Shannon looked disgusted.

"But Boone doesn't do drugs! Why would that be on him?" she said shrilly.

Jack ignored her, and, using the blanket, wiped away all of the remaining gunk, revealing a terrible, bloody head wound about the size of Jack's palm.

"My God," Shannon breathed. "What happened? Was that just from him hitting the cave earlier?" Jack frowned, and said whiningly,

"It wasn't this bad earlier! Okay, I'll need to clean this out and give him some stitches and a fairly large bandage..." He rubbed his hands over his face in a stressed out way. "Shannon, can you go find Sayid? He's taking for_ever_!"

Shannon was just about to do that when Sayid ran in with a very large bottle of vodka.

"Here!" he panted. "Sawyer didn't have much. This was all I could get." Jack grabbed it from him meanly and unscrewed the top. Sayid walked over to Shannon and hugged her, breathing hard. Jack tried hard not to roll his eyes but wasn't sure if he succeeded or not.

Jack then poured a lot of the alcohol into Boone's mouth to make him pass out. Boone tried to spit it out but Jack forced his mouth shut and the boy had no choice but to drink it all up.

"Wha wass tha for..." he groaned. "Toomush alcaholll..." He passed out. Good. Jack poured a tiny bit of the vodka onto Boone's stab wound next, pulled a needle out of his pocket, then turned to Shannon.

"Does he have any color preference?" he asked. Shannon raised her eyebrows.

"Uh, if it could be green that would be nice, actually," she told him. Jack got out some green thread and began to sew up the wound.

"Guys," he told Shannon and Sayid half way through, "You can go now. This'll take awhile."

...

Kate ran through the jungle as fast as she could, turning left, then right, then left again, knowing exactly where she was going.

Sun's garden.

When she was getting close to it, she started hearing voices far away, people yelling. She couldn't quite make out what they were saying. She realized soon enough that that was because they weren't speaking in English.

"Sun, I cannot have you disappearing into the jungle like this!" Kate was pretty sure that was Jin. She went right just then, when she should have gone left, because wherever they were, they weren't at the garden. Kate kept following the yells.

"I'm sorry, Jin, I got lost!" Kate felt a pang of pity for Sun. Jin was such a jerk to her.

"I'm sure you did!" Kate crept up behind a tree and watched as they argued it out. She wished she could speak Korean.

Suddenly, someone else ran over to them. It was Michael! He looked livid with anger.

"Hey, mans, cool it! I'm trying to get my boy to sleep!" Sun looked at him sadly. Kate knew that Jin couldn't know that she could speak English.

"What? I can't speak English, mister. Except for "coffee" and "doctor". So I will ignore you now. SUN HOW COULD YOU?" Jin said. Kate was confused. Coffee? Doctors?

"I'm sorry Jin!"

"SHUT UP MANS!" Michael yelled. He stomped his foot in frustration. "Leave each other alone!" They were all being to loud that Kate had to cover her ears.

"SUN, YOU SCARED ME!"

"SHUT UP MANS!"

"JIN, I NEED _SOME_ FREEDOM!"

"NO YOU DON'T!"

"MAAAAAANS! COME ON!"

Kate turned around at that point and just walked away. She decided that she would stop meddling in other peoples' problems. Besides, they were giving her a headache. So she started going back to the caves... and back to Jack.

...

**LATER**

Boone opened his eyes. He blinked. His vision was really blurred and he felt sick. Maybe he'd get sicker and sicker and then die.

"Boone? Ha, are you awake?" said a very annoying voice. Toxically obnoxious, Boone thought. He looked around himself vaguely and noticed that his head hurt. Like, a lot.

"Boone?" This time it was a different voice... a girl voice. Boone tried to reach up to rub his eyes but his arms couldn't move. Was he trapped by a robot?

"Whas o' mha erm?" he said. In his mind it had sounded like, "What's on my arm?"

"_What_?" snickered the annoying... Jack... voice. Boone then gave Jack a very offensive nickname in his mind, which he would probably never use out-loud. "Sorry, I don't speak idiotese."

"That was lame, Jack," said Kate. Boone blinked some more and could see them. They were very close. Just Jack and Kate.

"Hey, Kate! Ouch!" Jack said, putting a hand over his heart. Boone felt like laughing but his throat was sore and he was very tired so he didn't.

"Sorry, but it was," Kate sighed. "I still love you though."

"Good. Anyway, how are you feeling, Boone?" Jack asked. Boone smiled crookedly at him.

"Head wounded," he tried to say. He really said, "'Ead moonedid... Mah sshpeeach is slurthed."

Jack laughed cruelly. Boone grimaced.

"I hurt," he said semi-clearly. "Wha happened?" Kate smiled blurredly down at him.

"You hit your head really hard, plus you've got a stab wound. You, uh, had some sort of gunk on your head, too."

Boone thought it over for a minute. Gunk? He sort of remembered Locke putting something on his head but decided he should keep it secret from Jack and Kate. They wouldn't like that. He also remembered that Locke had stabbed him... but wait, no, wasn't he making toast?

"Em cafused..." Boone said. Even Kate looked near laughter now. Oh, well. Let them laugh. Everyone always laughed at Boone.

"We all are," Kate agreed. Boone was still thinking though. There was something he had to remember... someone was hurt...

Jack was cutting ropes off of his body and they came off just as Boone remembered.

"Shannon!" he yelled, sitting up and feeling sick. "Shannon's dead!"

"What?" Jack said, slowly trying to ease him down to know avail. "No, she's not, you doofus. She going on a walk with Sayid!"

Boone shook his head frantically. "No, no she's not. The line monster... she was all pink... she's dead!"

"Boone, you're not making sense!" Kate told him sternly. "Calm down! Shannon is fine. I've just seen her."

"What?" Boone said, lying down. "No, she's not fine. And it's all Locke's fault..."

Jack smiled at Boone proudly. "Most things are, boy. Most things are. But Shannon is not dead."

Boone decided to give up trying to convince them. Obviously they were completely deluded.

"Sure she's not," Boone sighed, going back to a slurred voice as he relaxed. "Whaever you sayyy..."

"Is right," Jack finished the sentence for him. "And you'd better believe it. Let's go, Kate."

"Where?" Kate and Boone asked at the same time.

"_You_ know," Jack said vaguely. But Boone didn't know. Oh well. Prolly didn't matter anyway.

"_Oh_, okay, Jack," Kate said. She smiled down at Boone who stared up at her with sleepy eyes. "Bye, Boone. Get some good rest. And remember, Shannon's fine."

"Mhemh," Boone sighed. "G' buhye..."

They walked off together giggling and whispering. Boone slowly sat up again and leaned against the cave wall tiredly. His leg hurt and his head hurt and he felt like he had to throw up, but he wanted to go find Shannon's body. He guessed that he was still in shock right now and wanted to prove to himself that she was really dead so that he could find peace.

Just before he could work up the energy to get up, he had a flashback.

Terrific.

_"Boone, please, just explain!" Shannon was crying as Boone pulled the car up in front of her house. "I'm really upset right now, I just need to understand WHY you would do-"_

_Boone got out of the car and stormed into the house, slamming the door. He didn't wanna talk about it. Not right now. He felt HORRIBLE. How could he have ever wanted to break Shannon's heart? _

_Shannon ran into the house after him and pulled him over to the sitting room roughly by his shirt collar. She pushed him down onto the couch and he didn't resist. He just stared at her as glumly as a doctor without a house. _

_"Boone, please! You payed some girl to come mess up our relationship? Why? TALK TO ME!" Shannon threw herself dramatically down onto the floor and started crying again. "You knew I loved him! Why would you-"_

_"Look's like I didn't need to anyway," Boone sighed. "He was already cheating on you."_

_Shannon rocked back and forth, tears messing up the carpet. Ick. _

_"Boone... Please..."_

_"We're going back to LA," Boone said flatly. "Tomorrow. I'll make flight reservations. You go pack."_

_She ignored him and kept crying, helpless as a wingless beetle._

_"Shannon, stop it!" Boone whined. "NOW!"_

_Shannon glared at him through a water covered face. "You have to explain yourself."_

_Boone stood up and walked out of the room as fast as he could. _

_"BOONE!" Shannon yelled at him. "YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!" She followed him into the kitchen and stared him down with those electric eyes of hers... _

_"Shannon, you are just a natural disaster," Boone told her. "I'm sick of all this fussing about everything!"_

_"What have _I_ done!" Shannon shrieked at him. "NOTHING! That's what!"_

_Boone scrunched up his nose angrily and looked pointedly away from Shannon, crossing his arms. She had a point. She didn't deserve any of this. _

_"Look, Shan'," he started, then he stopped. He couldn't tell her... she'd hate him!_

_"What?" Shannon said hotly. "Look, this is like one of the worst mornings of my life, okay? You could make it better. You could explain!"_

_Boone blushed. "I really can't."_

_"And why not?" Shannon yelled a him. "You are the worst brother EVER!"_

_"Step-brother," he corrected her. "And then, only for eleven months. And you've been in Australia for nine of them."_

_"So!" Shannon said. "You're still my brother!"_

_"We're both adults now anyway," Boone said ashamedly. "My mom- your dad's in a coma now anyway!"_

_"Shut up," Shannon said rudely. "I know. What are you trying to say, that you don't think you're really my brother?"_

_Boone stared at her. "Are you psychic? That's dead on." Shannon looked highly offended. _

_"What? Am I not good enough for you?" she asked him. "Am I so bad that no one wants to be with me? What is it that people find so inadequate-"_

_"I never said anything of the sort, Shan'," Boone interrupted her. "I think you're fantastic. I just- not right... I mean... I don't think it's wrong, really, is it? I mean... we're adults now..." He knew he wasn't making sense but he hardly cared. Shannon was looking at him very strangely._

_"Are you in love with me?" she asked him suddenly. Boone looked away from her quickly and laughed nervously. Stupid Boone. Good as a confession. "Oh, Boone- but..." _

_They stared at each other helplessly._

_"I try not to be!" Boone said. "I've tried dating other girls... but..."_

_"But, you've never acted like you liked me... that way. I- we never dated in high school. We've always just been friends!"_

_"You were always dating someone else, Shannon!" Boone said._

_"So were you!" Shannon replied. "You never asked me on a date _once_! How was I to know?"_

_Boone walked over to her slowly and shakily. "You weren't. I was just afraid of relect- rejection..." He blushed again. "Yeah. That." He was embarrassed now of his idiotic tendencies. But Shannon thought they were cute, right?_

_Shannon started crying again._

_"I'm sorry!" Boone said honestly. "I'll get over it!"_

_"Will you?" Shannon sobbed._

_"Yeeeah," Boone said grumpily. "In a couple years, maybe."_

_Shannon swore under her breath. "Well this stinks," she grumped. Boone rolled his eyes._

_"Sure does," he agreed. "Can I go make the flight reservations now?" he asked._

_"Yeah, whatever," Shannon said. So that's what Boone did._

_..._

"Pssssssst! Boone! Wake up!" Locked whispered to Boone, quietly shaking the boy awake. "Come on!"

Boone's eyes opened, and his whole body shook with surprise when he noticed Locke. Locke chuckled. He loved kids. They were so easy to scare.

"How are you?" Locke asked Boone. Boone's eyes welled up with tears at the question, completely to Locke's surprise. "What's wrong?"

"Y-you killed Shannon!" Boone said in a very shaky, emotional voice. "How c-could you?"

Locke frowned. Huuuh? "I never killed Shannon. She's right over there," he said, and he pointed to a spot across the caves where Shannon and Sayid appeared to be eating sushi together. Boone gaped at them.

"Wha- how-" he stuttered. "Thank God!"

"You wanted to tell her about the hatch, didn't you," Locke said in an accusatory voice. "So the island showed you that that was wrong by having you see her die!"

"The island didn't show me anything, John," Boone said to Locke rudely. "But- I did see Shannon die?" He appeared quite confused about it. Locke found that slightly amusing.

"I made you hallucinate, Boone," Locke said. "So you could talk to the island. The herbs I used were from the island, meaning that by using them you were able to contact it's spirit. Whatever you saw is a message. What did you see?"

Boone's eyes widened as he stared at Locke, but Locke didn't care. This was all stuff that he believed in. And one day, so would Boone.

"So?" Locke prodded the boy. Boone huffed.

"Okay, so I... my leg was covered in jelly... and I... I could fly? I needed to find Shannon, but she wasn't in the caves..." Boone stared at Locke's shiny bald head, lost in thought.

"What happened after that?" Locke questioned him.

"Oh," Boone said. "Uh, Shannon... I found her." Locke nodded thoughtfully, trying to figure out what the island meant by all this. "Shannon said that you had fed her to the... uh... the line monster?"

"The line monster," Locked repeated. "Interesting..."

"Uh, she was very injured and she- I was taking her to find you... um..." Boone stopped, stumped for a moment. "Oh. Then she... died."

Locke thought about that. "So how did you feel when she died? Relieved? Free?"

"Horrible," Boone said. "Like _I_ was the one who had died instead of her, really painfully. After that I was attacked by wild dogs and kidnapped by green martians. Then I woke up to see Jack and Kate lookin' at me."

"_Jack_," Locke scoffed. "Anyway, that is very interesting. What do _you_ think it means?"

"I dunno. That hallucinogens suck?" Boone said. Locke shook his head quickly.

"No!" he exclaimed. "That is NOT what it means. Try again."

Boone thought for a very long time without answering. Then, he said, "Maybe that... you're evil?"

"It took you that long," someone said as they walked into the sight, "to come up with that!" It was, of all people, Jack, who was covered with smudges of lemon-chapstick.

"Go away!" Locke snapped. "We're uncovering mysteries!" Jack just shook his head unpleasantly.

"No way, bald guy. Look, I don't want you feeding this meddled up kid your stupid lies, John."

Locke was highly offended. "Lies? You think this stuff is lies!"

"Obviously," Jack snorted. "Please, leave Boone alone!"

Locke grabbed Boone's arm and pulled him up from the rock. "Come on, Boone, we're going." But Boone was being stupid and not walking correctly. He needed to hold onto John for support again. Oh, how annoying!

"Boone's not ready to go walking around yet," Jack said quickly, becoming Doctor Jack. "Please, he has a stab wound. Put him down!"

Locke ignored Jack and hobbled away into the jungle with Boone stumbling along next to him in pain, ignoring as Jack yelled furiously at their backs.

"John," Boone moaned when they were near the hatch. "John, please, let me g– ow!" He had tripped over a stone. Locke set him down on a log to rest.

"Boone, we have to open the hatch," he said. "No time to lie around."

"I need to tell Shannon about th–" Boone was cut off by Locke.

"NO YOU DON'T!" Locke was seething. "The hatch is our secret and I don't want any commoners knowing about it!"

Boone stared at Locke, mouth open as he gathered his thoughts. "Uh, Shannon's not a... um... commoner."

"Well, she would tell Sayid, who would tell Jack!" Locke said. Why wouldn't Boone get it? "We can't let Jack know! He wouldn't understand!"

Boone's face was pinched up in distress. "But I hate secrets," he moaned. "And Shannon is special." Locke was hit with a sudden idea.

"Ooh. Boone, maybe the vision was to tell you that if you told Shannon about the hatch, she would die!" Locke said, realizing the truth finally. "That's it!"

Boone looked alarmed. "It is!"

"So in order to protect her, you must keep it a secret!" Locke said. Boone nodded slowly and sadly.

"I– okay. If it'll keep her safe, then... fine."

Locke grinned, helping Boone up again. "Glad we can see eye to eye now."

And they walked deeper into the jungle... and deeper into the tangled web of lies and secrets that the survivors lived inside.


	12. Just Stupid part one

**Just Stupid**  
**A Michael episode**  
**RATED** **Double-B for Bad and Babies**  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC. I just do this for fun.

WARNING WARNING WARNING  
Are you sure you want to read this? This episode is about Michael! Michael is the worst character ever! This episode has every reason to be terrible! If it is, don't blame me! Blame Michael!  
Okay, you have been warned. Read on at your own risk...

"WAAAAAALT!" Guess who's talking? If you guessed Michael, then you are correct. Congratulations, you win nothing. "WAAAAAALT!"

Michael ran through the jungle urgently, frantically looking for Walt. Jack couldn't help but snigger a little as he saw the strange man run into the jungle clearing where Jack and Hurley were writing a book of rules for the survivors. Jack thoughtfully tapped his pen against his stubbly chin, watching Michael run towards them.

"Michael, dude, slow down!" Hurley said when Michael almost tripped over a large fallen tree branch on his way past them.

"No, mans, I must find Walt," Michael replied, looking harassed. "My boy just keeps running off."

Jack shook his head wisely, and, following only his train of thought, said, "Irritated people tend to do that. You must be a pretty bad father if he runs off this much." He scratched out a misspelled word in the rule book thoughtfully, speaking slowly as he rewrote it. "Do you like being a dad? I know I would hate it."

"Dude, you'd be a pretty terrible father, worse then Michael even," Hurley said to Jack. Michael looked worried.

"Me? A- a bad father? What do you mans mean by that?"

"We_ men_ mean that you're a bad father. It was plain English, Mikey," Jack said, rolling his eyes. He closed the rule book, which was ten pages long and written in Jack's nearly indecipherable handwriting, and frowned at Michael a bit curiously. "You are the strangest person I have_ever_ met."

Michael shook his head. "I need to find Walt," he said. Jack snorted with laughter.

"Yeah, sure. Go get him."

And Michael ran away from them, tripping over nothing, lost in tears over Walt.

...

The young blonde woman followed the man with bulging eyes way out into the jungle, through many clearings and bushes until they got to the Viewing Station.

The man brushed aside the scattered leaves and sticks that were a disguise off the trapdoor and lifted it up with ease. Looking down into the dark room, he leered at the woman and said, "Ladies first."

"Oh, no, Ben, age before beauty," she replied rudely and he sighed and climbed down the ladder into the center. She followed him down and was amazed by what she saw. The last time she had been here the room had been damp and just crawling with insects. The furniture had been tacky and falling apart and their were soda stains on the carpet. The room appeared to have been refurnished completely and no longer had the air of dirtiness about it.

"So what did you want to show me?" she asked, sitting down carefully on the new couch and crossing her legs demurely. Ben walked over to the extremely large wooden cabinet that held the videos and rummaged around for a minute before pulling out a video tape that was labeled "M.D. Pre-Surgery". Medical Doctor? Juliet wondered. Maryland? Or perhaps someone's initials?

"This," he said, and he popped the tape into the VCR and turned on the huge flat screened TV.

"What is it?" she asked irritatedly. Ben smiled at her creepily but still didn't answer. "What is it!?" she repeated more urgently.

"Juliet, do you know about the List?" he asked her suddenly as he rewound the tape. He wasn't looking at her anymore and she hesitated to answer. "Well, do you?" he said again.

"I know _of_ the list, but I don't really know much _about_ it," Juliet answered carefully, squinting curiously at the screen, trying to make sense of the rewinding images that flashed before her eyes. "I only know that it's a list of the names of the people that– er, came to the island recently." She stared at the back of his head, waiting for an explanation, and after a long moment she was rewarded.

"The List was written by Seth. It carries the names of the handful of people in this world that are crucial to his master plans," Ben said, and he paused for a second. Juliet leaned in, eagerly awaiting more information. "This is a series videos that were taken by secret cameras, recording the private, and not so private, parts of Michael Dawson's life."

Juliet was physically repulsed by this very idea. She ran a hand through her thick hair, trying to control her anger. Losing her temper with Ben was not a good idea. "Isn't that a bit... invasive?" she tried. Ben ignored her and went on explaining what the tape was all about.

"We had to watch him for years to make sure he was the right one. I am going to play you these tapes to show you what we, Seth's followers, are capable of," he said, and he pressed play. She was quiet then, because, despite her reservations about the concept, Juliet _had_ to watch.

_Michael was walking around a store with an attractive dark pregnant woman. They were wearing matching t-shirts and sweatpants, looking at baby furniture._

_"Oh, Michael, how about this stroller?" the woman asked. Michael smiled at her._

_"It _looks_ nice, Susan, but is it really what we want?" he asked, checking the price. "It's $50. We're on a strict budget here, girl."_

_"Oh, fine," Susan sighed. "We'll find another one at a bargain store or something." They moved on down the isle, holding each other's hands. _

_"What should we name him?" Michael asked, patting Susan's belly, when they were half way down the aisle. _

_"I'm not sure. Do you have any ideas?"_

_"We should name him Walt. After my father's cat," Michael replied. "I've always felt a spiritual connection to that name, deep down in my soul. When I hear 'Walt'... I just fell like I'm home." _

_Susan nodded agreeably. "Alright then. I honestly don't care anyway." Michael smiled down at her._

_"That's cool. Thanks," he said, and they kept shopping._

...

"Aw, try again!" Locke said encouragingly. He was with Walt and Boone, teaching Walt how to throw a knife into a tree from afar. Walt kept missing, though.

"Maybe," Boone started, but he had to stop to yawn. He'd been really tired ever since he'd gotten that stupid head injury two days ago. He shifted tiredly on the log he was sitting on (standing was hard because of his hurt leg) and tried again. "_Maybe_ it should be my turn now."

"Not yet," Walt whined. "I want to get it right!"

"You will," Locke assured him. "Just keep your eye on the target." Boone moaned anxiously. _He_ wanted to try.

"_I_ would keep my eye on the target!" he told Locke, just as Walt threw the knife again. It soared magnificently through the air and landed right in the center of the tree Walt had been aiming for. Locke smiled at Walt, who looked very proud of himself.

"I did it!" Walt said excitedly. "I threw it right!" Locke nodded.

"You sure did!" He walked over and collected it, grinning a grin that wasn't quite as mysterious as usual. "I taught you well."

"Can I have a turn now?" Boone asked Locke. "Please?" Locke thought about the request for a moment before giving in. Boone smiled. He guessed that Locke felt kind of guilty for tying him to a tree in the rain the other day.

Locke walked over to Walt and Boone, holding the knife with the point sticking out in a dangerous manner. Boone leaned back in alarm, almost falling off his seat despite the fact that Locke was still several feet away.

"Careful, please!" he said. Locke smiled again and tossed the knife in Boone's direction for him to catch. Boone stared at it as it flew towards him. He was going to get hit! There was no way he could get out of the way in time! No, possible, way! He was going to d-

Walt reached out it and grabbed it out of the air at the same time Michael ran into the clearing.

"WALT!" Michael shouted, looking horrified. "Why do you mans have a knife!?"

Locke chuckled, but his eyes were hard with hatred. "Go away, Michael," he said cruelly when his false laughter had subsided. Michael shook his head.

"Walt, give me that knife," he said. Walt glared at his father evilly.

"No way," he snarled disrespectfully. "I'm playing with Mr. Locke."

Boone was surprised at how rude Walt was to his father, but, seeing as he hadn't had a father since he was three, he wasn't really one to judge. He stood up slowly, wincing with the pain it caused his leg, and limped calmly over to Michael.

"Look, sir, if you could go now, it would be-"

"No!" Michael said vehemently. He stomped his foot in a strange anger. "I need to save Walt!"

"But I'm fine!" Walt screeched at him. "So go away!" Locke was watching the situation with a weird expression on his face, one that brought to mind frogs and turtles. He shook his head at Boone's helpless gaze and gestured for him to look away. Boone did so, nervously, twitching slightly in anticipation.

Luckily, Michael and Walt seemed to have missed the whole nonverbal exchange and were glaring cruelly at each other.

"Walt, you are grounded if we ever get off this island!" Michael said, his voice quivering. "I swear, little man-"

"I don't care," Walt said shortly, and he ran off as fast as possible, faster than a flying bird with a jet-pack, into the jungle. Michael shook his head and ran after him. Even a minute later, Boone could still hear them yelling at each other.

"It's sad, isn't it?" Locke said to him. Boone nodded.

"Yeah, but do I still get a turn?" he asked. Locke raised his eyebrows cooly.

"Walt took the knife," he said. Boone frowned and sat down. His leg was getting to him again.

"Yeah, well, don't you have like nine-hundred?" he asked, yawing again. Locke smiled nicely at him and again Boone got the impression that Locke was feeling guilty about harming him the other day. Maybe he thought that Boone was so dimwitted because of what he'd done to him? Boone didn't like that idea. He knew it wasn't true.

"I _had _nine hundred, yes," Locke said patiently. "Until Walt took that one. Now I have only eight-hundred-ninety-nine, and they're all back at the beach."

"Oh," Boone said tiredly. "Oh well." He shook his head. "Well, I want to go take a nap right now. I'm really, really tired."

Locke looked saddened. "Really?" he said, reaching over to help Boone up from the log. Boone took his hand gladly, pretending that Locke was his walking stick.

"Um, John, do you think we'll get off the island ever?" Boone asked, curious for Locke's opinion. Locke just sort of shrugged. "Because if we do, I want to keep in touch."

Locke nodded slowly and they started walking to the caves, where Boone stayed.

"Yer cool," Boone told him, hoping for a response, but Locke just shrugged again.

...

Jack was staring narcissistically at his reflection in a small mirror he had found on the beach the other day. Leaning casually against the Doctor Rock, he thought to himself, _I really need to shave. _He was growing a short beard by now and it bothered him. It looked unprofessional.

"Kate?" he called out over his shoulder. "Kate, come here!"

Kate walked slowly over to him, wearing cute denim shorts that ended mid-thigh and a brown vintage tee-shirt that had the old Cocoa Puffs logo on it. She looked fabulous.

"What is it, Jack?" she asked him. Jack smiled at her.

"Do you think I need to shave?" he asked. Kate raised her eyebrows and slowly nodded as she looked him over.

"Yup," she said quietly. "Yeah, I think you should shave." She ran a hand through her curly brown hair and smiled, and Jack felt loved.

"I love you," he told her, "I think you're the most wonderful woman in the world."

"You're the best man in the _universe_," Kate told him seductively, and they started kissing, as they always seemed to do when they were together.

It didn't bother Jack a bit.

He kissed her hard and fast, and she kissed him back with equal urgency. Jack wondered how alone they were in the caves as he put a long-fingered hand in her soft hair and stroked her head. Most of the people lived in the caves, unfortunately, but maybe they could go to the jungl-

"Kate!"

Kate pulled away from Jack and whipped around to see Charlie. Jack was livid with anger.

"Great!" Charlie said, skipping the last few steps toward them.

"What?" Kate said, sounding as disgruntled as Jack felt. Charlie suddenly seemed to realized he'd interrupted something and looked slightly at a loss for words.

"I can't find– Oh, never mind!" he stuttered. Jack vividly imagined snapping Charlie's neck and rendering him incapable of speech. But then he compulsively thought of fixing him up and it was a near impossible thing to even imagine.

"Char_lie_," Kate said angrily, shaking her tumbling curls out of her eyes. "What is it!?"

"Oh," Charlie moaned. "Have you seen the bag that is- was- Claire's? It was covered with some of her blonde hairs..." He looked distraught and Jack relished the moment, the pain he was feeling.

"Go awa–"

"Quiet, Jack," Kate interrupted, and she smiled at Charlie. "I'll help you look for the bag."

What? Jack was confused until he realized that of course, Kate had been Claire's friend. That's why she would help the little limey runt. Of course, that had to be it. Or had she not been overcome with the same lust as Jack at that moment? Why was it that she could leave him so easily? Jack pushed back the idea that it was because of him... that couldn't be... more accurate.

"Kate, really?" Jack said, feeling defensive and worried. "What about- we were-"

"Jack," Kate looked at him with big, pleading eyes, which were brown today, and pouted helplessly. "Please, I miss Claire too. Can't I help him find her bag?"

Jack looked away in embarrassment. She was humiliating him in front of Charlie, making him seem lame and uncool. But he pushed back the hurt and went straight to his anger. "Why? Do you like Charlie and Claire more than you like me or something? Cause we had something going _on_ there, Kate."

"Jack," Kate moaned. "I love you. You know it. But... Claire..." She shook her head in sadness. Jack looked up at the cave ceiling in vexation.

"Okay, fine, Kate," he said after a long moment of thinking. "Go ahead."

"That's it? She's going, just like that? Neato! I'll give your back a pat!" Charlie exclaimed, looking grateful, and indeed patting Jack's back. "Thank you much, Jack, we'll be right back."

"I promise," Kate whispered to him, and she kissed him on the cheek before turning to leave with Charlie. Jack shook his head, sad to see them go off with each other.

"You know, I still think she'd be better off with Sawyer," Locke said, entering the caves unexpectedly with Boone, who looked beyond tired. "He's more sensitive, more understanding."

Jack was absolutely appalled by this cruel remark but was glad to note that Kate hadn't heard it. She was deep in a conversation with Charlie and was already nearing the exit of the caves. Jack focused his attention back to Locke and snarled reflexively at the sight of his bald head.

"I don't care what cool qualities Sawyer has," he said, glancing wearily at Boone, who was leaning heavily on Locke for support. "So go away. Only, leave Boone, I need to check out his wounds."

Locke sighed.

"Okay. Boone, are you okay with that?" he asked him.

"Hmm?" Boone said, looking sleepily up at Locke, not quite aware of his surroundings. "Oh, yeah, sure." He yawned.

"Good," Jack said shortly, walking over to Boone and removing him from Locke's arms. "Because I wouldn't take no for an answer. So, Boone, let's get you over here to the Doctor Rock and I'll fix you up."

"Mmm hmm," Boone agreed, helping as much as he could by trying to walk. Jack got him over to the rock and began treating his wounds.

...

"So, Charlie, I really don't know where her bag could be now," Kate told him as they walked through the jungle. "I mean, Locke brought it to the caves... that day... but anyone could have moved it after that."

Charlie grunted in response.

"So I guess we're looking at the beach first then?" Kate asked conversationally. Charlie shrugged. "Oh, come on, Charlie, you can talk, I don't mind the rhyming."

"I do!" Charlie said angrily. "I cannot bloody stand it! I'm tired of this poetry s-"

Kate slammed a hand over his mouth hard before he could swear and he glared at her, obviously in a rage at the moment. A rage at everything, it seemed.

"Charlie, don't talk like that," Kate snapped at him, reminding herself of Sawyer. "It's rude."

Charlie rolled his eyes grumpily but didn't say anything.

"Okay, so, we'll check the beach first. Is there anything in particular that you want from her bag?"

Charlie looked her right in the eye and shook his head.

"What?" Kate said. "You're not gonna answer?" She

He shook his head again.

"Well, okay then, fine!" Kate exclaimed, and they continued down to the beach.

...

"AND THAT IS THE FORTIETH REASON WHY YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY, WALT! THE FORTY-FIRST IS..."

Michael was shouting at Walt as the boy stood there stonily, holding the knife tightly in his hand and staring at the ground.

"... BECAUSE IT BOTHERS ME! NOW, THE FORTY-SECOND REASON..."

Walt trembled with anger and embarrassment as he waited for Michael to finish. But he just kept droning _on_ and _on_ and_ on_.

"... NUMBER SIXTY-NINE IS THAT YOU MAY NOT..."

Walt was getting angrier than he had ever before in his life. He was absolutely livid. He wanted to hurt something, to throw the knife at Michael. He tried to control himself.

"Dad!" he interrupted. Michael abruptly stopped to listen. Walt shook with anger. "You think you're so smart and everything, but really, you're just stupid!"

He turned around, and, yelling curse words over his shoulder, ran away.

Michael was shocked.

...

After the scene in the store, Ben fast-forwarded the tape as Juliet chewed the inside of her cheek uncomfortably. She didn't like watching this. Filming someone like this, when they didn't know, was just _wrong_. It was so messed up. Juliet was just about to give Ben a piece of her mind when he spoke.

"You know, you should be glad we are letting you see these videos," he said, still turned away from her. "We are finally letting you be initiated."

Juliet's forehead wrinkled in confusion as she glared at Ben'd back. "_Initiated_? Into what, Ben? I thought I was already a part of this... organization...?" Ben chuckled dryly.

"You were not fully accepted until now. You do not know half the things that go on around here, and we are going to break them to you slowly," he told her. She nodded slowly, suspiciously.

"Is this more Seth stuff?" she asked him. He finally turned around to her, and the TV lit his face up disturbingly, reminding Juliet of puppets, which she'd always been fiercely creeped out by as a child.

"Most of it is, of course," Ben said. "You know the saying... '_Sempre ascolti ed obbedica a Seth perché ha tutte le risposte_'."

"You must always listen to and obey Seth because he has all the answers," Juliet translated, nodding, and just then Ben pressed play on the remote.

_"Oh, little Walty-Boy," Michael was singing, tickling the belly of a baby Walt. Susan looked on and smiled._

_"He's so cute," she said. They were sitting in a colorful apartment. Michael was holding Walt._

_"He is _very_ cute. He looks like you," he said. Susan smiled._

_"Nah, more like you. And by the way, I'm cheating on you."_

_Beat._

_"What!?" Michael yelped, looking from Walt to Susan in shock. "What!?"_

_"I'm cheating on you with my boss, Tommy Grant," she said. "I decided that I love him more than you, so Walt and I are moving out to live with him."_

_"But–" Michael spluttered in confusion. "No– I never– but..."_

_"I've loaded the car with my most prized possessions. Say good bye to Walt," Susan said. Michael gaped at her, at a loss for words. Susan gently pried Walt out of his hands and stood up. "Bye-bye, Michael," she said, lifting Walt's hand up in a little wave._

_"Susan- Walt-" Michael gasped. But she just walked away. Right out of the room. Michael looked horrified. After a minute of letting this all sink in, he ran outside to see if she was still there._

_"Susan!" he shouted. He looked around; it was dark, and rain was drizzling down onto the street, making it difficult to see. "Susan!"_

_But it was too late, her car was gone. "No," Michael yelled, and he started sobbing, walking back to the apartments dejectedly. But just before he got to the stairs, there was a loud roaring noise from behind._

_He whipped around just in time to see the white van labeled "Tom" driving straight towards him._

_It didn't stop._

_..._

"Bald! A word with you, please!" Michael yelled, coming upon Locke as he tramped through the jungle. Locke looked up. He had been skinning a beaver to make a coat out of the fur and looked rather bothered to be interrupted.

"What is it, Michael?" he asked, shifting his skinning knife from hand to hand. Michael cleared his throat importantly.

"About my boy, Walt. You stay away from him. He's my boy. Not your boy. I'm his father."

Locke nodded slowly, drawing the knife through the beaver with cruel deliberation. "Hmm. Good advice. But I couldn't care less about what you want. I like Walt, and will mentor him to my heart's content." He smiled insincerely. "That's all."

"But– man– I'm his father. He's my boy," Michael said. "I need to take care of him."

"Shut it," Locke advised, picking the knife up again. "It would do you well." He rubbed his hand over his head as if to smooth back his hair, but of course, he was bald. Michael shook his head frantically.

"Walt is my boy and I will take care of him."

"Yes, but go away," Locke said. Michael started shaking in despair.

"But- my boy-" he said. Locke stood up, grabbed the beaver skin, and turned around. Without a word, he walked off. Michael swore in disgust. "Yeah, you just leave before I'm done. Fine."

He crossed his arms and stormed away.

...

Charlie and Kate got to the hill above the beach and stared down at the shore in amazement. Kate hadn't realized just how many cabins had been built there. Or how many swimming pools.

Hardly anyone was out walking around; they were all locked away in their separate houses. The library was the only place with an open door, but still no one was coming in or out. The only remaining signs of the wreckage were a couple of dirt-covered towels and bags on the far end of the beach.

"Wow," Kate whispered. "It's almost like... we gave up hope. On getting off the island."

Charlie didn't respond, but just stared out at the ocean wistfully. Kate suddenly felt very sad, very trapped, as if she had finally realized how horrible their situation was.

"I guess we should go look for her bag then," Kate sighed. "We _really_ should have looked in the caves first."

"I _really_ don't care," Charlie told her. "I wish we had Claire." Kate looked at him pityingly.

"Yeah. Okay," Kate said. "So do I. We'll..." But she couldn't say they would find her because they really would not. She'd been been gone for way to long. Kate looked up to the sky, tears coming to her eyes. She blinked them away, and smiled at Charlie as best she could. "Let's go find her bag."

He nodded and they walked slowly down to the beach. A gust of wind blew through the air and Kate realized that it must be October by now. Did the island get cold in the fall?

The first place they went to was where the bags and towels were thrown haphazardly on top of each other, but a quick search revealed that her bag was not there. They walked down the beach, stopping at every house and asking the residents if they had seen a large blue bag with a picture of a heart on it. No one had.

"Dang it," Kate said, sounding like Jack. Now she had no choice but to go to the library...

"Hello, Kate," Sawyer said stiffly when he saw her walking in. "How nice to see you."

Kate made a face at him and he smiled slightly. "Oh yeah. Been looking forward to it for days."

Sawyer's face fell then, and he looked pretty depressed. Kate felt a pang in her chest. Was it possible that she'd upset Sawyer more by breaking up with him then she would have had she continued dating him? She felt absolutely horrible.

"Sawyer, sorry to be a drag, but have you seen Claire's missing bag?" Charlie asked, crossing his arms and standing apart from Kate and Sawyer. "I am running out of patience, so _please_ ignore for now how Kate acts like a tease."

Kate drew herself up to her full height in indignation. She was highly offended by Charlie's remark but knew that Charlie was depressed right now and not himself. "Please excuse him, Sawyer, he's just depressed."

Sawyer just gave a terse nod and frowned at Charlie. "I actually have seen Claire's bag. It's right over here in the lost and found box."

Kate squealed in pleasure and surprise and even Charlie looked a little happy at the news. They should have looked here first! "Thanks, Sawyer," she beamed, but he didn't return the smile. Instead, he grabbed Charlie gently by the arm and led him inside the library like small child. Kate followed behind eagerly. Once inside, they crossed across the room to the corner beside the small bed that Sawyer normally slept in, and right next to it was a small box that had several bags inside of it. Charlie immediately seized the one that was Claire's and hugged it close to his chest, breathing in the scent.

Kate sighed romantically and exchanged a sentimental look with Sawyer. Oh, he was so hot. He smiled glumly at Kate, and his dimples shone.

"I hate this island," Kate said suddenly. "I'm sick of it. If only we could have landed safely in LA, Claire would have been safe. I wouldn't have minded. Even though I was going to jail-" She broke of hastily as Sawyer's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Never mind. You never heard that."

"I was in jail once," Sawyer said. It was an extremely nice gesture and Kate felt a strong rush of gratitude. "I... I was a con-man..." Kate stared.

"Really?" she said, honestly shocked. Sawyer's body tensed up and he looked away nervously. "No, don't be upset. I'm much worse, really." She didn't hate Sawyer for it at all. In fact, in a selfish way, she was glad that Sawyer had a shady past. It reshaped her image of him completely. So he wasn't perfect...

"What did _you_ do, Kate?" Sawyer asked all of a sudden. Kate faltered for a moment, then decided to tell him the truth.

"I murdered my–" But her throat was suddenly choked up with emotion and she stopped, her pretty face flushing bright pink. Sawyer looked touched.

"So did I," he said, "I'm a murderer, too," and Kate was nodding, because now she remembered him saying something like that to her before. "We're-"

"You're- you're both awful, you guys!" Charlie spluttered from a couple feet away. Sawyer and Kate whipped around to see him standing there clutching the backpack, having completely forgotten he was even there. "So- time to say our good-byes-"

"No, Charlie, you don't understand!" Kate said quickly, grabbing his arm so he couldn't get away. "Please,_ please_, I had a reason, I'm not a psychopath-"

"Do you regret it?" Sawyer asked, looking her in the eyes sharply. "I do."

Kate didn't answer. To smooth that moment over, she put her hands on Charlie's shoulders and sang him a soothing, calming song because he was really starting to freak out, no doubt because of all the stressful things that had come up for him in the past few weeks. Sawyer stood by watching tiredly as rain began pounding down on the roof.

...

"Mich-ael," Jack said an a voice that suggested that he thought he was superior to all others, "What's up with you right now? Why did you come visit me?" Michael frowned at Jack.

"I decided that Walt and me need to leave this island," he said. "So, I'm gonna build a raft and we're going to sail away!"

Jack raised his eyebrows and tilted his head back to look at Michael from a better angle. He considered Michael and his plan, and it just didn't work. Nope. No way was any raft of Michael's going to stay afloat. So, carefully, he offered his opinion.

"That's idiotic, Michael. Listen, bub, there are people on this island who have built a swimming pool! How about you have _them_ build the raft instead?"

"_I_ built the swimming pool, man," Michael snapped. "And I can build a raft with ease."

Jack was utterly surprised. "Really? You built that pool? Wooow." He nodded his head, genuinely impressed. "Then why not build something better than a raft? Like, a cruise ship? Then everyone could go with you."

Michael shrugged. "Um, no." When it became apparent that Michael was done talking, Jack decided to turn his attention back to something else, but all he had to look at right now was his bag of clothes and Boone, who was sleeping on the Doctor Rock. Jack had had to re-bandage him because all the boy's extraneous activities lately had made his wounds bleed more. Jack didn't understand, and was rather hurt by, the fact that Boone followed Locke around like he had all the knowledge in the world, ignoring the danger of all that Locke put him through. Jack saw right through the man's bald mysteriousness and saw a psychopathic maniac that had a strong need for control. Luckily, Locke had not yet usurped Jack's position as the de-facto leader of the survivors. Jack hoped that he never did.

Jack sat down and stared vacantly out into the distance, wanting off the island so badly. He also wanted Kate, which made him wonder whether or not it was a good thing they were on the island because if they hadn't been in the plane crash he probably never would have met and befriended her.

"Jack?" someone said suddenly, and Jack looked up to see Shannon and Sayid, who were pretty much always together nowadays. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jack said, standing up and brushing some dirt off his clothes. "What's up?" He noticed that Michael was gone and felt faintly pleased.

"Well, Sayid and I had a great idea to help us get off the island," Shannon said, and she looked at Sayid expectantly.

"We'll build a boat and sail away!" Sayid declared. Jack smirked at them.

"Jeez. Michael just had the same idea. I think he's already gone off to start making a ship," Jack said. "But it's only for him and Walt, so you'd still have to make your own."

"Well," Sayid said sarcastically, "That's nice."

"You and Kate will be welcome on the boat _we_ make," Shannon said politely. "And anyone else that wants to come."

Jack smiled at their childish plan. "How big d' you think it will be? What about food and water? Beds? Do you have a compass? Sails? Flotation devices?"

Shannon paled. "I never thought of all that," she said weakly, no doubt devastated. Sayid patted her on the back kindly.

"I did," he said. Jack was a little annoyed by this for some reason. He wasn't really sure why.

"Okay, then, fine, whatever, go make your boat," he said. "Go away." He turned away from them and looked at the bandage on Boone's leg for a distraction.

"Well, we were-" Shannon started. Then she said, her eyes widening in fear, "Did something happen to Boone!? Why's he lying there? He looks dead!"

"He's not dead," Jack told her smartly. "He's asleep. There's a difference, loser." He compulsively checked the bandage on Boone's head just to make sure he _was_ okay, and wasn't bleeding again. He was fine.

"We know," Sayid said grumpily. "Come on, Shannon. Let's go." But Shannon was shaking her head. Jack looked are her curiously, wondering why.

"No," she said to him. "That was rude. Don't talk to me that way."

Jack was flabbergasted. Completely shocked. How dare she TALK to him that way? How DARE she talk to him that way? HOW dare she talk to him that way? "Whaaaaa-"

"Really," Shannon continued loudly. "You're much too rude to everyone, even _Kate_!"

"I–" he stuttered. "Leave me at once! Go!" He waved them away but they remained where they were. Sayid was nodding in agreement with Shannon and Boone was starting to stir because of all the raised voices. "_Please_, go away! You're being very impolite!"

Shannon snorted in disgust. "No way. You are, though. Why is it that whenever someone says anything to you you have to snap out at them?" Her voice was getting high and shrill and Jack was getting more and more ticked off.

"Just shut up, okay?" he said to her. "I don't care." Shannon's jaw-dropped at him and he flushed in embarrassment. "Okay, sorry! Just go!"

"What's going on?" Boone moaned, sitting up groggily. "Will you guys _please_ keep it down?" Jack glared at Shannon and Sayid with extreme anger.

"See!?" he said. "Look what you've done! You woke him up! I hope you're proud of yourselves now!" He was shaking with the power of his emotions and felt very near tears.

"What's wrong with me being awake?" Boone mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "Hi, Shannon, hi, uh..."

"_Sayid_," Sayid cut in after a long moment of Boone staring at him. "Try to remember that." Boone just groaned.

"JUST GO AWAY!" Jack shouted. Everyone stared at him and he decided to try a different tactic. "Please leave me now. I need some rest."

Shannon nodded slowly and extended her arm out to Boone to help him up. Boone grabbed her arm tightly and was pulled into a standing position, wobbling because most of his weight was on his uninjured leg. Jack watched solemnly as Sayid took Shannon's hand and they walked out of the caves, slowly followed by Boone.

When they were finally gone, he leaned back against the Doctor Rock again and sighed. He wasn't really sure what had made him lose control like that. But he knew that he wouldn't let himself get upset like that ever again.

...

"Please, I'm tired, lets stop now," Boone moaned, tripping over every bump on the ground, his eyes drooping with exhaustion. "Please?"

Shannon and Sayid exchanged a meaningful look and the Sayid sighed.

"Boone, do be rational. We're in the middle of the jungle. It's cold. And we don't want to get lost like Claire and Charlie did," he explained. Boone made a little whimpering sound and slid down to lean on a tree, clutching his leg.

"Well then, you can go ahead and take Shannon to somewhere safe while I stay here and rest," he said stubbornly. Sayid frowned at him. No, they couldn't do that. Shannon wouldn't like that one bit and if Sayid agreed he would be in _much_ trouble.

"No. Come, I'll help you walk," Sayid said, then he got a better idea. "I know! Let's make you a set of crutches." Shannon was beaming at him. He felt proud.

"Um," Boone said, "Won't that take awhile?"

Dang. "Humph," Sayid said, "Then I'll just help you walk. Come, we're almost to the beach now anyway. You can sleep in the library."

Boone seemed to consider this for a second, and then he looked at Shannon with pleading eyes. Shannon looked away, to Sayid, and they simultaneously rolled their eyes. They'd gotten good at the their little silent communications lately.

"Here," Sayid said, holding out his hand for Boone, but he didn't take it. He just crossed his arms grumpily.

"I'm staying here. I'm _tired_," he said. "Okay!?" Shannon huffed in frustration.

"Boone, this isn't safe," she said. He looked away, ignoring her, and Sayid was personally insulted.

"Boone, please explain," he said, withdrawing his hand. Boone turned back to them and repeated,

"I'm too tired to go on!"

"We'll carry you!" Shannon said. "Just, please, come on!" He looked away again and Shannon said suspiciously, "Is there something you're not telling us, Boone?"

Boone blushed furiously at this but didn't answer them. Sayid shook his head and rubbed Shannon's shoulder a little to try to lessen her aggravation.

"Boone," he said, "this is your last chance. Get up and come with us or we'll leave you to fend for yourself." Boone made a whimpering sound and turned back to them. He saw Sayid rubbing Shannon's back soothingly and that seemed to be the last straw for him.

"_Maybe_ I just don't like seeing you two together!" he yelled at Shannon, and her eyes widened. She took a step closer to Boone and Sayid's hand felt lonely floating there in the air where she used to be.

"Boone," Shannon said softly, "I'm sorry, but I- we- you know why..." She wasn't being very coherent and Sayid honestly confused, which was an unnatural sensation for him that he didn't experience very often.

"What is this?" he asked them, but Shannon was still over by Boone, talking to him softly and sadly and he had a strange look on his face like he was sorry.

"I'll go with you," Boone said shortly, interrupting her, and he struggled into a standing position without Shannon's help. Once he was standing he swatted away her reaching hand and hobbled away from her as fast as could. He stumbled and tripped even more than before but he kept on going and was about fifteen feet away by the time Shannon and Sayid finally followed him.

"Shannon," Sayid said as they hurried to catch up, "What's going on with you two?"

...

Without noticing it, Juliet had been sitting on the edge of her seat, watching the television with avid interest. When the clip ended, she turned immediately to Ben, who was watching her with the usual indecipherable expression on his creepy face. Juliet was almost never able to tell what was he feeling.

"Well?" he said. "Any questions?"

"_Any questions_?!" Juliet stood up and walked closer to Ben, brimming with excitement. "What the heck was wrong with that woman? Was she hypnotized or something? What's with the car labeled "Tom"? What happened to that guy, Michael? Is he okay?"

Ben shook his head with a small smile. "The Toms are one of Seth's many organizations. They carry out most of his dirty work off the island, get him connections. Only two rules exist in the group. One is that you must obey everything Seth tells you. Second is that your name must be some variation of Tom."

"Ah," Juliet said. "You didn't answer my other questions."

Ben smiled but didn't answer as he ejected the cassette tape and inserted a new one, which he started rewinding. Juliet sighed in defeat. She knew Ben. There was no getting any worthwhile information out of him.

_Susan was standing in a hospital with a young, attractive black-haired business-man who looked to be in his late-twenties. Susan was smiling widely, and they were in the middle of a conversation._

_"...So it's been done, then?" she asked._

_"Indeed it has," the doctor answered. "Michael Dawson is as good as dead."_

_Susan beamed at him and hugged him hard. "Finally. So, what exactly is his mind set on now?"_

_"For nine years it will be on making a living, then we will switch it to taking care of Walt. How is the boy, by the way?" _

_"Splendid," Susan answered dryly. "Even more so now that we're free of his father. Thank you." The man laughed. _

_"You're welcome," he said jokingly, "But really, you should thank Seth." Susan nodded._

_"Is it possible for me to contact him?" she asked curiously. "I want to stay on his good side. If he has one." She giggled nervously and the man shook his head with a wide grin._

_"I'll tell him you said thanks. Meanwhile, lets get going. We've gotta get outta here before the people start suspecting something."_

_Susan nodded again. "Yeah. Let's go, Tomothy. Australia, here we come!"_

_They left the room arm in arm._

"What in the world is wrong with that woman!?" Juliet screeched. "What is this? What did you guys do to that man? Explain._ Now_." But Ben just smirked evilly and shook his head.

"My, my, there is a smudge on the screen, look," he said, taking a cloth out of his pocket and rubbing away the smudge. That was enough for Juliet.

"What is the point of showing me these things if you aren't going to explain them!?" She was furious with Ben, who was always acting so mysterious, so superior. She wanted answers. For everything. Now.

"Juliet, dear, please, let us act civilly now," Ben said creepily. He looked much too interested in Juliet, as usual. Her skin crawled under his wandering gaze and she folded her arms across her chest uncomfortably.

"Please, just explain!" she said. Ben sighed and put a hand to his forehead in mock-exasperation.

"Why? Can't you tell what this is about?" he asked. Juliet swore quietly and looked away for a moment to regain her quickly dissolving control.

"Vaguely," she told him, turning back to face him. "But I–"

Ben cut her off by starting the tape again.

END OF PART ONE


	13. Just Stupid part two

Just Stupid part two

"Charlie, what are you looking for, anyway?"

Kate looked on as Charlie frantically tore through Claire's bag. Kate and Charlie were in Kate's tent on the beach because the library had gotten too crowded. It was the only place the islanders had that had air-conditioning._ I need to ask Sawyer how he got it installed_, Kate thought, wiping a bead of sweat off her forehead. _It is _way_ too humid_.

"The journal, my dear Kate," Charlie said, "But– it may be too late." He stopped searching the bag and stared at it's messed up contents in defeat.

"What? You mean her journal's not in there?" Was that all Charlie had wanted from the bag? Come _on_. There had to be more things that he could make due with, right? "How do you even know she has a journal?"

"I once saw her use it. _Okay_? And now it's left, it's gone away!" He flushed in excitement and Kate swore under her breath. Not cool. She did not want to go tromping through the jungle again to find Claire's journal, which could be anywhere, even swept away into the ocean, by now. She wanted to go back to Jack in the caves and make out. She wanted to get out of the humid temperatures and visit Sawyer. She didn't want to help Charlie right now. Even though he was her friend.

"Charlie, look. We found her bag. Isn't that, you know, good enough for now?" Charlie shook his head, but Kate wouldn't relent. "I mean, really, I don't_ care_ if she had a diary or not. Let's just leave it for now, okay?"

Charlie looked thunderstruck. Then angry. "Good God, girl, have you lost your common sense? Or is this all some joke at my expense?!"

"Charlie!" Kate was seriously fed up with him right now. "Please! Jack will be worrying."

"No, I'll go find it myself if I really must. Go ahead back to Jack and satisfy your lust." He stood up, his head bumping against the tent's low ceiling, and walked hunched over back out onto the beach. Kate crawled after him immediately.

"Charlie, come back!" Kate whined, jogging after him as he stormed across the beach in front of her. He walking towards the jungle, no doubt to search the caves first. Kate was more fit, not having broken ribs like Charlie, and caught up with him within seconds. She stood in front of the path to the jungle, blocking his way in, and crossed her arms grouchily. "Charlie, I can't let you search the island alone. It's dangerous to be by yourself right now."

Charlie whipped his head back and forth defiantly. "Do I need a bodyguard? Watching me seems rather hard." He pushed away her slim frame easily and hurried along the path.

"CHAR_LIE_!"

"Please go away, have a great day," he yelled sarcastically over his shoulder at her, and then he did something stupider than Kate had thought capable of him. He walked straight off the path, into the wild overgrowth and trees. And Kate surprised even herself when she pushed the trees away and ran after him.

"Charlie, come back here! Where the heck to you expect to find her diary, anyway!?"

"The place where that monster Ethan got us, it might have gotten lost during that fuss," Charlie said, slowly down and smiling at Kate, obviously happy to be followed by her. She didn't return the smile.

"Well, you could have told me before you ran away," Kate complained. Charlie just shrugged. "I'll go with you here, then we're done looking for today, okay?"

Charlie glared at her but reluctantly nodded. They kept walking, Charlie leading, for a couple more minutes, until Charlie stopped and worriedly stared out into one of the jungle's many clearings.

"Charlie," Kate said gently. "Let's get this over with." Charlie swallowed and nodded.

The clearing was harmless looking and sunny, but there were strands of blond hair lying around as well as streaks of blood on the grass. With just quick glance around it was obvious that the journal was nowhere to be found.

"Sorry, Charlie," Kate sighed. Charlie was walking around, looking in piles of leaves and such that were much to small to be concealing anything. Kate watched as he kneeled down and looked behind a large stick, but she quickly turned around to look behind her. "Did you hear that!?" she screeched.

Charlie was standing up again, staring at something Kate couldn't get a good look at. Then she heard it again. An angry little giggle.

Her stomach seemed to dissolve into a pit of helpless goo. She recognized that laugh. She had blocked it out of her memory pretty successfully, forgotten it in all the worries about Seth and vampires and Jack. But this brought that terrifying incident back to her, overcoming her like a flashback. They had just discovered the caves...

_Kate was in the arms of an angry skeleton. Locke helplessly looked on as several skeletons tied him up in old snake skins. _

_"Help, Jack!" yelled Kate. Jack was paralyzed in fear. He stared as the skeletons leered at him. _

_"Urghhh... Jack, wass ... whatss goin on?" Charlie, who had been attacked by killer bees, moaned in Jack's arms. Startled, Jack dropped Charlie on the cold cave floor. That surprised the skeletons, who then threw Kate across the room at Locke and started chasing after Jack. _

_Locke caught Kate. He was still tied up, but all of the skeletons had devoted their attention to Jack. Locke got out a knife, which had been in his pocket, and cut himself loose. He looked Kate over._

_She had a cut on her stomach, but otherwise she was fine. Locke was relieved, but looked like he felt rather awkward sitting there with a shirtless woman in his arms. He set Kate down gently, and she woke up with a gasp._

_"Where's Jack!?"_

_Jack was running through the jungle as fast as he could, but the skeletons were faster. A broad shouldered one tackled him and pinned him to the ground roughly._

_Jack was out of breath, but he did not give up hope. He could do this. He'd had his daily bowl of Crunchy Flakes. _

_Summoning up all of his strength, he pushed the skeleton off of him. It fell down, knocking into a very tall skeleton, and it started a domino effect. Jack laughed at the angry monsters lying helplessly on the jungle floor._

_Suddenly, bony fingers grabbed his neck from behind. Jack chocked, not able to breath. He started turning blue._

_Just then, Kate ran up, holding a gun. She pointed it at the skeleton. She pumped three bullets into it, and it dropped dead. Jack gasped for a breath of air, got it, and turned to look at his savior._

_He pulled her into a hug, and they kissed happily._

But apparently that wasn't the end of it, Kate thought, waking up with a jolt. Those darn angry skeletons. They were back.

"Charlie, come towards me, slowly," Kate said, trying to keep her cool. "There's one behind you too."

Charlie paled.

"Okay, Charlie, we're gonna have to get away from them somehow. They're lethal." Kate glanced sideways at the one in front of Charlie and prayed that it didn't turn around to see them.

"What if Claire's diary is over there? That just would not be at all, you know, fair," Charlie whispered, creeping towards Kate cautiously.

"Yeah," Kate nodded, but then her heart fell down and rested in her mushed up stomach because- oh no oh no oh no- the skeleton was staring her straight in the eyes.

It stood up, and walked towards them, holding something. Oh my God- could it be the diary? Kate wondered. It was a book. About the right size. And the look on Charlie's face told her that she was right.

_Why_?

"Okay, Charlie," Kate whispered, as the skeleton slowly advanced upon them, "we still have to get away. These things are really, really bad. Argh, where's Jack when you need him!?"

Charlie suddenly stopped moving and glared hard at the skeleton, which was leering at Kate creepily, ignoring Charlie completely. Then Charlie threw a reckless smile in Kate's direction and reached over to grab the diary out of the skeleton's hand.

"Charlie, NO!" Kate's cry was lost in the chaos that surrounded them as skeletons from all around them jumped from trees, out from behind bushes, and even crawled up from little holes into the clearing. Kate was shaking and shivering, suddenly feeling like she had been engulfed in a block of ice. She needed to get away from the skeletons– NOW– but she couldn't just leave Charlie with them. She couldn't. He would get hurt.

The skeletons were groping at her ankles and she struggled to kick them away, hopping forward a step closer to Charlie. Charlie was reaching out tentatively towards the diary in the skeleton's hands. Kate wouldn't be able to reach them in time to stop him. She knew that if he touched that diary, those skeletons would go ballistic. She didn't know why, but she knew.

"Charlie, please!" she yelled, being pulled to the ground. Everywhere she looked, there were skeletons. Big ones and small ones, all smiling, all moving towards her and Charlie. It was the absolutely most terrifying thing Kate had ever seen in her life. She screamed, and Charlie screamed too, because just as he had gotten a hold of the diary, another skeleton had come up from behind and grabbed him around his chest. He was getting pulled to the ground too, but Kate couldn't see him as well anymore because the skeletons were obscuring her vision.

Just as she heard Charlie thud onto the ground, she passed out.

...

"YOU!" Michael yelled. Boone turned around quickly, almost falling over, and was surprised to see Michael barreling towards him at a very alarming speed. He reminded Boone of an ostrich that was chasing a lion... or was it the other way around? Did ostriches even live in the same place as lions? Did lions eat them? No, lions at zebras, right? Was that all they ate, or did they like birds too? Were ostriches even birds? Well they certainly weren't tiger-

"OW- Owieeeee!" Boone was thrown backwards into the sand as Michael bumped into him- _hard_.

"WHY IS THE BALD SO EVIL AND WHERE ARE HIS KNIVES?" Michael shouted. Boone blinked, his befuddled brain trying to sort through what Michael had said and register that his leg was bleeding again both at the same time. Michael repeated the question even louder, right into Boone's ear, and Boone whimpered in pain.

"Stop it!" he moaned. "John is not evil!"_ Except for he knocked me out and tied me up and made me hallucinate_, Boone thought ruefully,_ but that just makes him mean, not evil. He's just an action-y kind of guy._

"_YES HE IS_!" Michael hollered, and Boone crawled backwards on the sand to get away from him. He made it only about two feet before Michael grabbed him by the foot and dragged him back. "HE IS EVIL AND I DON'T WANT HIM NEAR MY WAAAAAAAAAALT!"

"Okay, okay!" Boone said, looking around for Sayid and Shannon. They could help. They always knew what to do. But they weren't anywhere in sight. "Michael, mister, he isn't gonna hang out with Waaalt anymore, okay? So you ca-"

What a terrible time for Locke to walk by with Walt, holding a rifle. Boone closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and made a wish that Michael would not look behind himself.

"So I can _what_, young mister man!?"

"So, uh-" Boone struggled for the right words to say to him. "You can chillax?" He smiled at him, hoping that he didn't look too nervous and eager to get away.

"Oh." Michael frowned down at his shirt, which was very tight and said "I WENT TO ALASKA AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID T-SHIRT THAT DOESN'T EVEN FIT". Boone had to agree that the shirt did, indeed, not fit. "I believe you. Thank you- D- GRRRRR."

"Hello, Boone. I thought I told you never to associate with Michael?"

Locke had arrived behind Boone carrying Walt on his back. Boone gasped and looking dazedly from Locke to Michael in fear. He wasn't really sure what to say but they were waiting for him to talk.

"I- uh, you never said that," he giggled nervously. He was trying to decide who was more dangerous, Michael or Locke. Seeing the blood that was seeping through the leg of his jeans quite painfully, he decided on Locke. "Or- maybe you did? Let's go now, I'm on your side and you're always right."

"Boone," Locke said sternly, "Shut up."

"Yeah," Walt agreed.

"Okay," Boone nodded, and he bowed his head submissively. He fidgeted around a bit and put his hand on his leg to stop the bleeding, tuning out the conversation that was going on above him. La de da de daa, he was pretending to be deaf. He wasn't going to listen to the shouting, no he wasn't, he was going to stay out of it. Boone wondered what kind of noise a rabbit made. I mean, while cats meowed and dogs barked, they really didn't make any noise, did they? Then he was like a rabbit. He wouldn't say anything. He wouldn't make a noise. He didn't want to get hurt. And those two men were very dangerous– WAS THAT A GUNSHOT!?

Boone whipped his head up and looked around, but it wasn't what he expected to see at all. Walt was holding the rifle, and Locke was laughing, and Michael was lying on the ground, his arm bleeding profusely, his eyes glassy and frightened. Boone stood up as quickly as he could (which wasn't very fast), and ran over to better examine Michael. He guessed that Walt had shot him– right? But it didn't make sense. Why would Walt shoot Michael? He was his DAD!

"Um, hey guys, Michael's kind of hurt," Boone said quietly, and Locke and Walt didn't see him because of how hard they were laughing. Boone felt a twinge of horror. So this was funny? People being shot? Oh, fantastic. The coolest guy on the island really _was_ a psycho.

"MANS!" Michael shouted from on the ground. "I WILL HURT YOU!" He stood up as if he hadn't been shot at all. Boone stared.

"Guys?" he said, turning around. Walt and Locke had stopped laughing now. Locke was holding the rifle and pointing it at Michael's chest, and the look on his face screamed "MURDER" only not really, Boone only pretended it did.

"Look away, Boone," Locke said grimly. "You don't want to see this."

"I do!" Walt declared loudly as Boone's jaw dropped. He was horrified.

"You wouldn't– kil– someone," he squeaked. "I mean– if you do... I can't." He couldn't cope with this. He fell back to the ground and rocked back and forth like a bug that had gotten stuck on its back. "I ALWAYS RESPECTED YOU!" he wailed. "AND YOU'RE GONNA KILL SOMEONE!"

Locke dropped the gun.

"No!" screeched Walt, confused and distraught. "Why'd you drop it? Come on- shoot him dead! Go on!"

Locke shook his head and walked over to Boone, who stopped rolling around and sat up like a normal human being.

"Sorry," Boone mumbled. "But it's true..."

"Boone," Locke said. "I almost made a Serious Mistake. Thank you for stopping me." He shook his head with a smile as bitter as walnuts and sour grapes. "I just got so tangled up in my hatred for Michael that I forgot that you had expectations for me. I'm your mentor. You need me to be a good person."

"Uh, sure," Boone nodded. "Can we get Michael to the doctor now?"

"NO!" said Walt again in a panicked voice. "Please, no, please, I need him _gone_."

"Not now, Walt." Locke and Walt exchanged a significant look. Locke made some strange sign language gestures and Walt squealed in excitement. Even while this happened Locke was still talking. "We need to get Boone to Jack now. He's not thinking clearly."

"Hey!" Boone exclaimed. "Yeah I _am_. Michael needs the doctor, not me! You shot him." He addressed the last part to Walt, who smiled at him devilishly in return while struggling to force something very large into a burlap bag. The thing was making screeching noises and Boone thought that it just might be alive.

"Come on, Boone, let's go," Locke said, and his voice was gentle and comforting. Boone wanted to go with him. But he couldn't. Michael needed help. Speaking of that, where _was_ Michael, anyway?

"Hey," Boone said, "Where'd that guy go anyway? Where's Michael?"

"Oh, Boone," Locke laughed, as Walt started running away as fast as he could, dragging the stuffed sack behind him. "He must of run off."

"I... guess so?" Boone stared after Walt suspiciously. "What's in the sack, John?"

"What 'sack'?" Locke asked calmly, helping Boone up and turning him toward the jungle.

"You know!" Boone struggled out of his arms and faced Locke with a scowl. "The one Walt has. Does he... is Michael in that sack?"

"Finish your sentences, Boone," Locke said, and he grabbed Boone's hand and started walking towards the jungle. Boone tumbled unwillingly after him. "'Does he' what?"

"Huh?"

"Exactly," Locke said, and he continued to pull Boone along the path. Boone was very confused– and he got the feeling that Locke was trying to make him so. But why would Locke do that? Boone knew that deep down Locke was a good guy. He would trust John... with his life. He was the most confident person Boone had ever met, and when a man was that sure of himself, and of his own goodness, you had to believe in them too. It was contagious. And just then Locke was gazing into Boone's eyes. Locke's eyes were a light blueish green color that shone and sparkled and could drive anyone out of their mind with curiosity about him.

"John, where are we going?"

"The hatch."

Why the hatch AGAIN? The hatch hadn't been opening at all no matter how many times they had tried it. But Boone trusted Locke when he said that it would open one day and all their problems would be solved. Everything would be resolved. Besides, Boone didn't think it was really the time to complain right now though. Not after the fuss he'd made about Michael- _Holy hotdogs, __**Michael**__! _

"Uh, John, why did Wesley- I mean, Walt, kidnap Michael?" Boone asked, his voice shaking like a hand that's holding a camera.

Locke sighed very deeply, and for a very long time. He reached into the large side pocket of his cargo pants, took out a water canteen, and reached into his shirt pocket and took out a red pill. Then he unscrewed the water and dropped the pill into it. Boone watched it sink down inside the drink, making pink swirls in it like blood.

"Drink this, Boone," Locke huffed. Boone raised one of his perfect, thick eyebrows at him.

"Why?"

Locke glared at him with all the intensity of the sun, plus a few stars. "Just drink it."

Boone took the drink into his hands and gulped it down like someone that had been lost in a desert for a week without food or water. Right away he felt very feverish, very tired, and he slid smoothly down onto the ground in exhaustion. The jungle had a black wall descending down upon it, hiding the tops of all the trees, sliding down and down and it was only right before he fell asleep that he realized he had been closing his eyes.

...

_"Sir? Can you hear me?" A plump male nurse was gently prodding at Michael, trying to wake him, while a doctor checked his blood pressure and freshened up his bandages._

_"Ugh," Michael sighed, opening his eyes sleepily. _

_"Good morning! How are you feeling?" the nurse chirped excitedly. Michael shook his head._

_"What am I doing here? I need a job!" he said. Everyone stared at him._

_"Sir, are you feeling alright?" the doctor asked. "How's your head?"_

_"Fine," Michael said, and he ripped off the tubes that were keeping him on the bed. "I just need to go get a job. I have bills to pay."_

_"What?" asked the nurse. _

_"So good-bye," Michael yelled at them as he ran spryly from the room, leaving the doctors to watch him go._

"I do _not_ like this."

"I do not care."

Juliet walked right over to Ben and grabbed his arm. "I don't like this at all, Ben. I thought we were supposed to be scientists! Not– not _stalkers_!"

"Scientists." Ben said the word slowly, and had a look on his face like he had just eaten something that was extremely gross. "We are not stalkers, Juliet."

"Then what are you!?" Juliet shrieked at him, feeling angrier and more confused then she ever had in her life. "What kind of people film a man for his entire life- preform surgeries on him that make him into a robot... What do you guys have against this guy?!"

"It is not just Michael," Ben replied evenly. "Though he is probably the most extreme case. We have subtly affected the lives of everyone on Seth's list."

"Oh." Juliet was absolutely disgusted. "How long is this _list_?"

"About twenty people, give or take a few," Ben said.

"They're the people Seth brought to the island?"

"Yes."

Juliet put a hand on her forehead and breathed in and out slowly, trying calm herself down. It was no use getting upset with Ben. At least now he was answering her questions. Besides, no matter how good Juliet's Capoeira might be, Ben had a gun.

Okay. She needed to help these people... or did she? Why couldn't she just be passive? Why risk her life for people she didn't know, who might not even be in danger?

Because. Because what Ben and the Others were doing was _wrong_. And if Juliet chose to just ignore it then she would be assisting them in their crime.

First step to helping these people was to get more information. The more she knew about what was going on, the better she could get started on saving them from whatever it was Seth had in store for them. Juliet shuddered to think about that.

"Ben?" she said after a long stretch of silence while she was thinking.

"Yes?"

"Let me see the other videos."

A creepy, leering smile crawled across Ben's face, and once again the lights from the TV illuminated his face like a puppet.

"Yes."

...

Jack hopped over a stupid log in the dumb jungle. _Lame. Gross. _

_Where is Kate? She said she'd be right back._

Jack shook his head in distress as he sped toward the beach. He had a terrible feeling that he knew exactly where Kate was: in Sawyer's library.

Oh, Sawyer. Aw man. Jack hated his guts. He wanted to rip open Sawyer's stomach and watch them all pour out. And stomp on them. _Violence, _Jack thought bitterly, _is the _question_. The answer... is yes. _Yes. Yes. Yes.

When Jack got to the library, he was going to be so mad. He might have to break up with Kate again. Chances are, though, that she'd find some why to reel him back in. But Jack would try his hardest not to be fooled. Her looks could be very manipulative when she used them to seduce, but he would try not to be subjected to her wonders.

"Kate, _Kate_, Kate," Jack growled to himself. "I don't know wh-"

"Did you say Kate?" Sawyer's dreadful voice called to him out of nowhere. "Is she with you!?"

Huh?

Jack was bewildered, then overjoyed, as he saw Sawyer sprinting towards him. Alone. Because if Kate wasn't with Sawyer, and he didn't know where she was, then she had _not_ been cheating on him again. Most likely. Woo-hoo! Jack did a fist-pump in the air gloatingly.

"Well?" Sawyer demanded, looking impatient. "Do you know where she is?"

"Uh, no," Jack replied, wondering why he was even speaking to Sawyer. He wrinkled his nose. "And you don't either?"

"Obviously not," Sawyer snapped back. "I saw her an hour ago but now I can't find her..."

"You saw her an hour ago!?" Jack yelped. "WHY!?"

"Shut up," Sawyer said. "She was at the library with Charlie." Jack sighed in relief. "I- found something for them."

He held up a small journal that said "CLAIRE LITTLETON" on the front in neat, all capital letters. Jack cringed at the sight of it.

"Why do you have to remind me of her right now?" he whined to Sawyer. "Can't we just... let it go?"

"This has almost_ nothing_ to do with Claire," Sawyer said. "They were looking for her bag, I gave it to them, and they left, and a few minutes later I saw that this had fallen out. I..." Sawyer blushed, just a little, but Jack saw it with his perfect vision. "I read it some, and the stuff it says... well, it makes me kind of scared to have Kate and Charlie running around in the jungle all alone." He put the journal into the pocket of his jeans.

"WHAT!" Jack spluttered. "Who in the world would let them do that?" He was so shocked that he didn't even laugh at Sawyer for being scared.

"Jack," Sawyer glared at him, "No one_ let_'s them do anything. They make their own choices."

"But, but," Jack whimpered, "Charlie can't protect her. They're not at the beach?" Sawyer shook his head and started to speak but Jack kept talking. "Dang it. But that makes them... Missing!"

"Yeah," Sawyer said softly. "I guess it does."

They both started racing through the jungle at them same time, looking left and right like their heads couldn't stop swinging, calling out for Kate and Charlie as loud as they could. They ran right next to each other, ignoring that they hated each other, at least for now.

But Jack didn't find Kate. He found...

"Boone?" Sawyer and Jack both stopped suddenly and stared at Boone, who was asleep against a tree. "I thought I found you already. _The other day_."

Sawyer bent over and shook Boone awake rather un-gently. Very _un_-Sawyerish, Jack noted. Weird.

"What's wrong with you, Boone?" Sawyer asked urgently. "Have you seen Kate?" He shook him again and Boone flinched.

"Huh...?" Boone rubbed his eyes, blinking rabidly, staring around in confusion. "Kate? No..."

"Are you injured again?" Jack fretted, examining the spots where Boone had been bandaged. "Oh no, your leg's been bleeding again... why were you asleep out here? It's dangerous. Where're Shannon and Sayid?"

"Beach?" Boone mumbled sleepily. "I guess?"

"Okay," Jack muttered. He was thinking fast, trying to make a plan about what to do. Kate and Charlie needed to be located, and soon. But Boone needed to be taken to the caves, to the Doctor Rock, and Jack needed to repair the stitches on his leg.

"How did the wound open again, Boone?" Jack asked as Sawyer anxiously paced back and forth across the jungle's floor, snapping sticks and crunching leaves as he walked. Jack wished that he would stop it. The noise were getting quite irritating.

"I fell down," Boone replied tiredly.

"How?" demanded Jack. "Was it Locke? Did he knock you down?"

Boone shook his head, keeping his mouth shut like he was worried he would spill a secret if he spoke.

"What did Locke do!?" Jack yelled at him. Boone shook his head quickly.

"Nothing..." he said, but Jack, with his perfect hearing, picked up Boone's whisper of, "Nothing important, at least."

"Ah-HA!"

"No, really..." Boone said. Jack frowned at him.

"No matter, I'll make Locke explain later. But really, what did he d-"

"Jack!" Sawyer cut in impatiently, stopping his pacing and flailing his arms to express emotion. "Who cares what Locke did? We have to make sure Kate's okay!" Jack stared at him for a moment, then finally gave in to the only logical plan that he could put into action at the moment. He looked at Sawyer with reluctant eyes and then slowly ordered him, "Okay. I'll take Boone back to the caves to fix his leg again, and you can keep looking for Kate and Charlie. When you find Kate, bring her back to me _right away, _do you hear me? I need to... be sure she's safe."

"I hear ya," Sawyer said. "Good luck." He turned back in the direction he'd been going and sprinted off again.

"Yeah, luck to you too, I guess," Jack called after him, then he turned back towards Boone, who was pouting heavily. "Can you stand?"

Boone scrunched up his face in a fit of the grumps. "Si."

"I speak one language. It is English. When you speak to me, I expect you to use it," Jack told him. Boone's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

"_Yes_."

"Then stand up," Jack said, but he didn't wait for Boone to try. Instead he put a hand on each of Boone's shoulders and stood him up. Then he grabbed onto Boone's arm to steady him, crouched down slightly, and, using great skill, tossed Boone onto his strong back.

"Enjoy the ride," he joked, and then he ran back to the caves like a maniac with Boone on his back.

...

Sawyer plunged through the leaves of a blueberry bush- why was there a blueberry bush in a jungle anyway?!- his feet plodding down onto the ground noisily as he ran, when suddenly he noticed that there were footprints. They were smaller than Sawyer's which left out Ethan– thank God– and Locke, and many other people, but left Charlie and Kate as definite possibility. Plus, the tracks were fresh. Sawyer was excited to see that there were in fact two sets of footprints, right next to each other. He immediately began following them.

"Ka-ate!" he called out. There was no answer but he continued on his way doggedly. He pushed past a pine tree, getting pricked by some of the needles, and hopped over a puddle. And he kept following the prints.

They ended pretty soon, in a harmless looking clearing, but Sawyer could see that the ground was scuffed up and piled with fresh dirt like someone had clumsily tried to cover up tracks. He stopped an listened for a second.

When he heard a noise some distance to his left, he sprinted towards it as fast as he could.

...

Kate was lying on the ground with her eyes shut, just listening. She could feel Charlie next to her, his right hand casually tossed on top of her left leg. She was pretty sure he was still unconscious. She slowly brushed his hand off her leg, still pretending to be asleep, and squeezed it slightly. She was surprised when he squeezed back.

The skeletons were chattering away up above them, some how able to talk. Kate had seen a lot of weird things in her life, vampires and werewolves and even a zombie, and she'd learned that you couldn't trust any creature that wasn't natural. That wasn't human.

She shivered a little bit as the breeze picked up, making the leaves around them rustle. She'd known that it was a stupid idea to go out looking for a diary. She wasn't even sure if the skeletons had it or not. But one thing Kate knew was that you couldn't go back in time. What happened, happened, and you just had to deal with it. So she started trying to think of a surprise attack on her captors that could get her and Charlie out. She sighed as she plotted and ran a hand through her hair out of habit.

Suddenly, something hard and boney grabbed her wrist. She gasped and couldn't help but open her eyes. It was one of the skeletons, as she had expected, leaning over her face with a creepy crawly smile.

"Urgh!" Kate screeched, and she fainted again.

...

Sawyer tumbled over a log and leaped into a clearing of the jungle. And he gasped.

There were skeletons everywhere, on the trees, poking out the ground. Moving skeletons. Living skeletons. _Angry _skeletons. And over there, being smothered to death by two of them, were Charlie and Kate. Sawyer felt himself start to lose control.

"WHAT ARE YOU!?" he yelled at the skeletons, alerting them of his presence. "And why do you have my friends!?" But he didn't wait for an answer. Instead, he ran at the nearest cluster of walking bones and began tearing them apart.

This was quite easy, and to Sawyer's immense relief they did not start building themselves back together again when he destroyed them. Nor did they have any good attacks. They just kicked and scratched at him, and Sawyer had won more than his fair share of fights in the past and knew how to beat them. Luckily, their bones were very brittle and easily broken. Sawyer thrust a fist into the skull of one of them, sending shattered bone everywhere, kicked one in the ribs and crushed it into powder. He grabbed one by the neck, pulled it down and kneed it in the face.

Sawyer made his way through the crowds in excellent time and finally only the two skeletons on top of Kate remained alive. He ripped them off of his friends with extra force and stomped them into pieces before they could attack. Stooping down, he picked up Kate, checked her pulse, and sighed in relief. She was still alive. Then he turned to Charlie. Same deal. Looking around at the bones he had crushed, hecried out in jubilation.

...

Kate lay in her savior's arms, gradually waking up again. She was reluctant to open her eyes, given that the last time she'd done that she'd seen a skeleton leaning over her. Eew.

She supposed it was Jack who had saved her, thinking back to the time when Jack had saved them from the skeletons before. She always admired his courage, his ability to keep his cool in dangerous situations. It was something Kate was pretty good at too, when it didn't involve skeletons. She felt almost as if the skeletons had been invented just to terrify her. Which was, of course, ridiculous. Why would anything on this island care that much about _her_?

Kate had to admit that she felt a small amount of dread as she thought about opening her eyes. She supposed that she would open them and Jack's hazel eyes would be looking down at her, twinkling with excitement. They'd kiss each other, and their kisses were always amazing, something Kate treasured... But then, as they walked back to the caves, Jack would get angry at her for going missing, until she kissed him again, and this time it would feel almost forced, like it was just mandatory. And for days after this, he'd be bragging to everyone they knew that he had saved Kate from angry skeletons. Kate sighed, feeling terribly guilty. Why couldn't she grow to like Jack as much as he seemed to like her?

She opened her eyes. But when she opened them, she didn't see what she had been expecting at all. Not hazel eyes, but delicious dark blue eyes that she stared into with extreme joy. It wasn't Jack... it was Sawyer.

"Hey, Freckle," he said to her slyly. He was so handsome... "How're you feeling?"

In answer she leaned up and kissed him full on the mouth.

...

LATER, AT THE CAVES

"And there you have it, you're all fixed up!" Jack said triumphantly. Boone rolled his eyes at him and they both stared outside grumpily through the window-like hole in the cave wall. It was beginning to get dark already. Boone crossed his arms, pouting heavily, and sat back on the Doctor Rock while Jack worried.

Sawyer was supposed to bring Kate right back to him. _Right back_. And if Kate still wasn't back now, after four hours, that was kind of horrible. Because that meant Kate was probably hopelessly lost. If Sawyer was telling the truth. There was always the chance that he had broken their agreement.

"Boone, have you ever had a girlfriend?" Jack asked to get rid of the silence. Boone rolled his eyes at him again, obviously not in a very good mood.

"No good ones. They never liked me."

"Then why'd they date you?" Jack laughed, thinking that Boone was an idiot and of course no one liked him.

"Because I'm rich?"

"Fair enough," Jack shrugged. He glanced outside again. Still no sign of Kate. Jack felt like being a jerk. "You know _I_ don't like you either, right? I only care about you as my patient."

Boone sighed and frowned down at his arms. "Figures," he said dejectedly. "Where's Locke?"

"I don't know, why would I know? Do I look like the kind of guy that would keep track of him?" Jack whined, agitated for a completely different reason. Being reminded of Locke didn't help much with Kate being lost, though. Not in the slightest.

Boone didn't reply. Instead he kept staring outside. Just then, Scott and Steve entered the caves.

"Jack!" Scott said, sounding immensely relieved. "There you are!"

"We need to have a word with you," Steve said.

Jack gazed at them dully. "Well then." _He_ didn't really want to have a word with _them_, but oh well. What else was there to do, anyway? Except for worry about Kate.

"It's Walt," Scott said.

"He's kidnapped his own father!" Steve explained.

Jack didn't really care, but Boone seemed to find this very interesting. "Is John with them? Locke? Is he? Because, I think he has something to do with this... Just a hunch of mine."

"You're the kid that broke my drill!" Steve realized. "You're hunches are worthless to me." He suddenly looked very angry.

"Now, Steve," Scott reprimanded mildly. "You don't mean that." He looked at Boone strangely. "No, I don't think that John was with them. They're at the beach. Walt has locked his father into my house." Jack sniggered.

"No wonder you seem so upset about it," he said sarcastically. "Just boiling with rage. Too bad I don't care."

"Well, if you don't care, we'll be going now," Steve said, and he turned around and walked out. With a resentful look at Jack, Scott followed him. Just as they were walking out, though, someone else walked in. It was Locke. Dang it. Not Kate...

"Jack, why did you take Boone!?" Locke yelled. Jack stood up quickly, prepared to fight Locke if he needed to.

"He was bleeding again, John!" Jack shouted. "What did you do to him!?"

"He didn't do anything!" Boone said quickly, standing up carefully so as not to hurt his leg. "Okay? Leave him alone!"

"No!" snarled Jack. "He's a maniac and needs to be punished."

"Oh, _I'm_ the maniac, am I?" Locke asked, advancing quickly, his fists raised. Boone whimpered.

"Please, John, don't beat up the only doctor we have..."

"Yeah, you're a maniac," Jack hissed. "It's time to battle, at last."

"Yes," Locke agreed. "It is."

But just as they leaped at each other, Kate, Sawyer, and Charlie came running into the caves. Jack took several leaping steps away from Locke to admire Kate. Locke also stopped fighting, no doubt because other people were here now.

"Kate..." Jack sighed lovingly. She was so gorgeous. Her brown hair was mussed up beautifully, and her freckled cheeks were flushed dark pink from the cold outside, and from running around, no doubt. Her legs had smudges of dirt on them, and so did her arms and shirt, but that was okay. She was pretty enough to make up for her filth. Jack walked up to her and embraced her romantically.

"Jack," Kate sighed. "Sorry we were out so long."

"It's alright," said Jack, feeling so, so happy that she was okay. "You're safe." He kissed her lightly on the mouth, and she kissed him back, staring at him with those creamy brown eyes. "Aah..."

Someone tapped Jack on the shoulder, not at all gentle about it. "We'll finish this some other time, Jack," Locke whispered roughly in his ear. He stormed out of the caves, followed by Boone. Jack ran over to them and made them stop for a second.

"John, please, at least let Boone rest a little bit okay? Let him get better!" Jack pleaded with the Bald, and Locke nodded at him curtly. Then he grabbed Boone's arm and pulled him away with a very angry frown in Jack's direction. Jack turned back to Kate happily, and for the first time really noticed that Charlie and Sawyer were there too.

"Sawyer," Jack said awkwardly. "Didn't know you'd actually be able to help her. Thanks." Sawyer blushed and Kate's eyes flickered towards his for a fraction of second. But Jack was not paying attention to that. He was looking at Charlie. "Hey, Charlie. Did you find what you were looking for?"

Charlie just shrugged. "Just part of it, Jack. We'll have to go back..." Kate nodded sadly. "He wants Claire's diary, mostly," she explained. "It wasn't in her bag."

"Oh!" Sawyer said. "I've got it right here!" He pulled it out. "You know," he told Kate, "she mentioned having a dream about the skeletons in here. And finding a bloodless cow in the caves. I think she must have known, in her subconscious, about the vampires and stuff, you know?"

Jack was alerted by this. "The skeletons? Are they back?"

"Back?" Sawyer asked. Meanwhile, Charlie looked upset.

"You read her diary, Sawyer? Why? You weren't supposed to– I'm gonna cry..."

"Oh, Charlie," Kate huffed. "Get a grip." Then she looked at Jack. "Yeah, the skeletons are back, but Sawyer took care of them."

"I thought I killed them all," Jack grumbled. "Dang it." He scowled at Sawyer. "Thanks I guess. For saving them."

"You're welcome," Sawyer said, rubbing his tanned neck tiredly. "You know, I'd best be getting back to the beach soon. It's getting late. You coming, Kate?" Jack's jaw-dropped.

"Uh," Kate said, glancing at Jack nervously, "I think I'll spend the night here, thanks. I don't feel much like going back out into the jungle right now." Jack felt horrible for what she had had to go through without him there to protect her. He walked over and hugged her from behind, and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Well," Sawyer said awkwardly, and again he and Kate exchanged a look. This time Jack saw it, but for once he didn't mention anything. He just stared outside into the dark jungle and worried about what it contained. Sawyer handed the diary slowly over to Charlie and then, with one final "good-bye", left the caves. Kate waved at him and so did Charlie, but Jack just let him go. He smiled down at Kate.

"You know, Shannon and Sayid are planning to build a boat to get us off the island," he said casually. Kate smiled back at him.

"That's good," she said. Charlie nodded once, waved at them, and walked over to his section of the caves with a scowl on his face.

"Well, someone's grumpy," Jack remarked cruelly, somewhat offended by his hasty departure. But then he remembered that he didn't really like Charlie that much so it didn't matter. Kate rolled her eyes at him.

"We've kind of had a bad day."

"Yeah," Jack said, and he slowly backed up to the Doctor Rock, holding Kate's soft body in his strong arms. "So let's make it a good night..."

...

"Ben?" Juliet asked, half-way into a video about Sayid Jarrah, which she hadn't really been watching. She'd been too busy scheming. "Can you pause this for a minute?"

Ben paused the tape without a word, then turned to Juliet expectantly. "Yes?"

"Well, you know how in that Michael video..." She trailed off, because Ben was staring directly into here eyes. His eyes were bright blue and bulging out of his head. She took a deep breath and continued. "...How they said that he was 'set' on something? Like making a living?"

"Yes?"

Juliet took another deep breath. "Well, I was wondering if you could show me how you 'set' him on things."

Ben smiled at her, or rather, _leered_ at her. He walked over to a cabinet in the corner and took out a little hand-held electronic thing. Juliet looked at it curiously. "What–"

"These are the controls for Michael's brain," Ben said. Juliet gasped. It looked like a Nintendo DS more than anything. Ben smiled. "Would you like to try to figure it out?"

"Yeah," Juliet said. "Sure!"

Ben threw it on to the couch hastily. "Then you can try. I have got to go now. You will stay here tonight. I will collect you in the morning."

"What!?"

Ben ran over to the ladder and climbed up quickly. Juliet stared after him. "BEN?"

But Ben was already opening the trapdoor. Juliet was shocked to see that it was dark outside already. Taking a chance, she grabbed the device, ran across the room, climbed up the ladder and stuck her arm through the door before Ben could even try to close it. Then she climbed out, completely out of breath.

"What was that about, Benjamin?" she gasped. He glared at her.

"How did you follow me that fast?" he demanded. Juliet ignored him.

"Never mind. Let's go. I don't want to hang out here any longer." Juliet shuddered, kicking the leaves back over the trapdoor while staring up at the plane that was lodged into the cliff above them. "I really wish that would just fall down or something. It's a hazard way up there."

Ben shook his head grimly. "It will fall soon enough, Juliet."

Ben walked carefully down the jungle path, followed by Juliet. But while he walked, talking to someone on his walkie-talkie, she was fiddling with the Michael machine, which seemed to work almost just like a DS, too.

She went to "Settings" and chose "Current Goal". She checked again to make sure the volume was a completely off. Then, very quickly, she deleted the words "Taking Care of Walt", and replaced them with "Getting Off the Island". After that, glancing nervously at Ben, she turned it off and slipped it into her pocket. She was fairly sure he hadn't seen her take it out of the Viewing Station.

If he had, she was in for a punishment.

...

Scott sighed and unlocked the door to his cabin. Walt was at the fire, where he had a pot cooking something that could only be poison, and Michael was tied to Scott's rocking chair. Scott rolled his eyes.

"Walt, you'll have to leave now," he said. Walt's head whipped up and his dark skin paled.

"No! Let me finish making this!" he said, hopping in front of his bubbly concoction protectively.

Scott set his jaw grumpily. "No." He untied Michael. "Go. Both of you."

Walt started whining even more, so Scott picked him up and threw him outside. To his surprise, Michael didn't get upset.

"Bye, man," Michael told Scott. "Thank you for saving me. I'm gonna go build a raft now."

"Really?" Scott said, genuinely impressed. "Alright!"

"I'll save you a spot, man," Michael said, and he ran outside to collect wood for the raft.

...

"John?" Boone asked. "I don't wanna go to the hatch." He squirmed around uneasily on Locke's back. Geez, he could walk. Why did everyone carry him?

Locke scowled into the darkness of the jungle. "I don't care, Boone. We have to open it."

"Because it holds all the answers?" Boone asked.

"Yeah."

Boone stared off into the distance for awhile. The hatch was SO far away. And only they knew about it... it just felt wrong. Too secret.

Suddenly, there was a crashing in some bushes near them. Right away Locke set Boone down and stood in front of him protectively. Boone stood on his tip-toes to try and see over Locke's shoulder, wondering. What had made that sound?

There was a whimpering, more crashing, and suddenly, Locke gasped and blinked like he was dying. Boone blinked, too. He didn't believe what he was seeing. He must be having, like, after-hallucinations or something. Because the person he saw couldn't actually be there.

But it sure _looked_ a whole lot like Claire.


	14. Dancing with the Devil part one

**Ballando con il Diavolo ****(Dancing with the Devil)**  
**A Charlie episode**  
**RATED PG-45 for extremely adult things like amnesia and vampires. **  
In this episode, Charlie's joy that Claire is back is marred by a threat to the survivors. The island is set into a battle against a dangerous opponent and Charlie wants more than anything to protect his newly returned love.  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC. I just do this for fun.

Deep in the jungle in the middle of the night, Claire was screaming as loud as she could. But the man wouldn't let go of her. She thrashed around, trying to get free, but he didn't let go and she had no idea what was going on.

She didn't remember how she'd gotten here; she was tired, sore all over, and her hair was a tangled mess. Her back hurt because she was pregnant and she wasn't in much of a mood to be attacked. She didn't even know where she was. She just felt like screaming, and luckily, she could to that. She had lots of practice.

"AAAAAH!" she screeched, the man's hands locked onto her arms; he had a grip of iron. "AAAAAH! AAAAH! _Bugger_! LET– ME– GOOOOOOO!"

"Claire," he was saying, "you're okay! It's me, John. You're safe now, Claire."

How did he know her name? Claire took a deep breath and stopped screaming. This "John" person kept holding onto her but she stopped trying to escape too. It was impossible. Her eyes gradually adjusted to the dark and she became aware that there was someone else with them too. A young guy with dark hair, who was watching them both with huge, frightened eyes.

"Claire," he whispered. "How are you still alive? I thought Ethan got you?"

Claire stared at them. Who in the world _were _they? Why did they think they knew her? How did they know her name? And where was she?!

"Whoever you are..." she began, but the guy holding her– he was bald and quite a lot bigger than Claire– interrupted her.

"It's me, John Locke. Remember? And Boone's with me."

Claire was shaking her head frantically, not believing this. No, she was dreaming, she convinced herself, and she dug her nails into her palm, trying to wake up. _Wake up_. "Look, I don't know you, please, just–" She broke down into tears. "What's going on!?"

"She doesn't remember," said John in a hushed voice. "Do you know what this means, Boone?"

The young guy thought for a while. Claire thought dazedly that he looked as confused as she was but didn't care all that much right now. Finally, he answered. "Amnesia?"

"No," John said impatiently. "It means that the island took away her memories to let her start over. Now she can help us with the hatch. That we found her out here all alone means she's been chosen."

The guy and Claire stared at each other for a moment in shared disbelief. Obviously he thought that it was ridiculous too. Also, was she _really_ on an island? That was too much.

"Of course that's why," the guy said slowly. "Of course." John smiled approvingly at him. Then he turned to Claire, looking incredibly excited.

"Claire, you can help Boone and I with a little project now if you want. And Walt, too, I think he's ready."

"Walt?" Boone– that was just such a weird name– said. "Why him? That's no fun..."

John took a deep breath but otherwise ignored him. "So, Claire," he told her in a hushed voice. "What happened to you? Do you remember _that_?" Claire was suddenly shocked back into what was really going. She was in a jungle, with two strangers, hugely pregnant, and the last thing she could remember was... was...

Riding on a plane to LA to give her baby up for adoption. Okay, that was a start... but after that...

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by someone coming running out of the nearby trees, flat out like a lizard drinking. He was completely winded, but even in just the moonlight Claire could see that he was gorgeous.

"Is... everyone okay?" he asked. He had, has far as Claire knew, a Western American accent. He sounded like a cowboy from a John Wayne movie. "I heard... some screamin'..." Then his eyes fell onto Claire. He gasped.

"Yes, we found Claire," John said, sounding irritated. "You can't have her." _Have me? _Claire thought, rather offended. No one_'s going to _have me_, thank you very much._

"But... don't you see?" the new guy said, sounding very, very happy to see her. "We have to go tell Charlie!" She wondered again what was going on. Who was this Charlie? And who was this new guy? Claire didn't care who he was really. Forget about not ever having a boyfriend. He was very, very attractive, which made her rule seem kind of stupid and futile. This new guy didn't seem to want to take her off somewhere to work with "Walt", who sounded quite bad, judging from Boone's reaction.

"Okay, who are _you_?" she asked, just to be safe. The guy stared at her.

"You mean, you don't remember?" he asked. "I'm Sawyer. You know that."

Claire shook her head, feeling horrible now. Everyone here seemed to know her, but she didn't know _them_. She still had no idea what was going on. All of a sudden she was very tired.

"Look," Claire said to Sawyer, who was still staring at her. "You can take me wherever you want. I just need... I don't know, answers?"

"Answers," Sawyer repeated under his breath. Then, regaining his volume he said, "Okay, follow me, Claire."

"Sawyer," muttered John, "Why are you _doing_ this? Disobeying me?"

With a significant look at Boone, Sawyer replied, "Since when do people have to obey you, Locke? I'm bringing Claire with me back to the caves. Maybe Jack can help with her... amnesia, and Charlie will be _overjoyed_ to see her." Sawyer smiled nervously at Claire then. "Do you remember Charlie?"

"Who would remember Charlie?" John said angrily. "I mean, really, Sawyer, she doesn't even remember _me_."

No one answered him. Instead, Sawyer grabbed Claire's hand gently and pulled her away from John, who glared at them both. He turned his gaze onto Boone next and said crisply, "Come. We're going with them."

Boone shrugged and said, "I was going to anyway."

John's hands twitched in anger.

"Come on," Sawyer was saying soothingly to Claire. "Let's go get you some help, alright? We'll help you remember this stuff... you probably just blocked it out or something..."

"Okay," Claire said softly, and she began following him through the jungle.

…...

Back at the caves, Jack and Kate were smiling at each other across their bed of straw in a secluded part of the caves. Jack was slipping back into his shirt with difficulty because he was holding Kate. She grinned at him even more, her eyes droopy with sleep and pleasure.

"Oh, Jack," she sighed. "I love you..."

"I love _you_," Jack replied simply. He kissed her once more on the cheek. "I love you so very very much. You're my little Crunchy Flake..."

"That makes no sense!" Kate giggled drowsily. "But I'll take it."

"You'd better," Jack mumbled, and he held her closer as they drifted off to sleep.

Meanwhile, still in the caves, Charlie was curled up in to a little ball on his pile of blankets, reading Claire's journal with a flashlight. It made his heart throb with renewed sorrow as he thought about what Claire had been to him. Claire had been... someone to protect. To take care of. Charlie had never had anyone to take care of before. Claire had been so beautiful. She had also been a symbol of maturity to Charlie, too. She was going to have that baby, which they could have raised together. So much that could have been...

And then Ethan had ruined it all. He'd kidnapped Claire. Charlie's eyes welled up with tears again. He shouldn't be thinking of this. He had stopped really paying attention to the diary. He didn't like reading it anyway. It felt invasive. She still deserved privacy, even if she wasn't here.

Charlie shuddered to think of where she might be right now.

…...

Ethan was angry. And not just _normally_ angry. Murderously angry.

How had she gotten away? He'd taken such precautions... only been away for five minutes... he had disposed of his useless guards by now but was also upset with himself. Trusting humans obviously didn't work very well.

He needed to get her back. The project wasn't complete. Also, now he was missing a steady, willing donor of blood. He would need to take by force now, or, horribly, need to feed from animals. No way did he want to do that. So he needed to find Claire. Soon. He'd devise a plan and be after her by tomorrow, he decided. She couldn't get too far away in such a short time.

Rolling up his sleeves to get ready for work, Ethan crept back into his lair.

…...

"Just relax," Sawyer told Claire as they slowly made their way through the jungle. He squeezed her hand. "I'm sure that when we get back to the caves, you'll remember everything."

"You guys live in caves?" Claire asked shakily. They had been walking for so long that she was starting to worry. What if Sawyer was working with Locke or something and they were taking her off somewhere to be killed? What if they were going to hypnotize her or something? Claire didn't know what to expect and she had decided that she should be more cautious with Sawyer and everyone else.

"Yeah, unfortunately," Boone said. "But it's better than nowhere, I guess."

"At the beach we have houses," Sawyer told Claire, "and there's my library, too. Do you remember that?" Mutely, Claire shook her head.

"Sorry," she said after a long stretch of silence. "I don't really remember anything. Are we... in Hawaii or something?" She didn't really have any idea why people live in the caves when there were houses on the beach, but if there was a doctor in the caves it was fine with Claire. She was beginning to feel sick.

"Not Hawaii," John said. "We're on an island."

"Hawaii_ is_ an island," Boone pointed out. "We don't know if we're not in Hawaii. We could be." He looked really hopeful, but Sawyer was smiling at him gently and shaking his head.

"They would have found us by now. And I'm pretty sure Hawaii doesn't have pine trees growing everywhere."

They walked on for a couple more minutes. Claire was walking really slowly now, hugging her stomach, feeling ill. She really wanted to stop, and finally, after almost twenty more minutes, they did. Right outside "The Caves" there was a small stream of clear water which Boone immediately dunked his head into for a drink. Slowly, Claire followed Sawyer inside. Locke stayed behind to have a talk with Boone.

"Okay, where's the doctor?" Claire whispered, looking around at the few people sleeping on blankets and straw beds. Sawyer smiled at her.

"Over here," he said, and he pulled her into what was almost like a side room, but made out of rock. In the corner there was a bed of leaves and straw and on top of it lay a man and a woman. They were holding hands.

Sawyer suddenly looked very upset. Claire really didn't understand why. Probably none of her business, so she ignored it.

"Which one's the doctor?" she asked him. He blinked.

"Oh, uh, the guy." He walked slowly over to the couple and stood there for a moment, staring at them pensively. "His name's _JACK_!"

"What about me?" Jack mumbled, rolling over onto his back and rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Am I needed somewhere again? Oh, being so amazing sure is tough." Then he opened his eyes and saw Sawyer. In less than a second his face was contorted into a look of pure loathing, and he sat up, his fists curled into balls.

"What is it, Sawyer?" he said angrily. "I thought you were at the beach?"

Sawyer gazed at Jack for a moment, looking disappointed, then said, in long, laboring tones, "I came back. I have something to tell you."

"_What_!?" Jack snapped, keeping his voice low so as to not wake up the woman beside him. "Just spit it out, okay? I need some more sleep!"

Sawyer's mouth curved up into a secret smile that showed off his dimples even in the dim light. "I– well not really me, but Boone and Locke, we–"

"No, no, no," Jack said, looking bored now. "I don't want to hear it if it's about _Locke_! Go away."

Claire was beginning to really hate this guy. Was he really the only doctor? That was just awful. She'd known him a minute and was already completely jack of Jack. Sawyer continued, somehow completely ignoring his attitude.

"We found Claire."

Jack's face fell immediately. He looked very sad now. Claire was insulted. "Sawyer," Jack said in a voice that was exhausted and ancient, "not now. I don't have time for jokes. Losing Claire was a tragedy that I blame myself for, and I–" he stopped, his gaze having moved on to behind Sawyer. To Claire. "Claire!? Dang it, is that CLAIRE!?"

Sawyer smiled again, this time wider, and his dimples seemed to be reflecting the little light there was, shining somehow. "Yes, Jack, it's Claire!"

Jack leaped up onto his feet and stared at Claire with a look of awe. This expression lasted about two seconds before he closed his eyes, shook his head, and opened his eyes again, with his face now elegant and composed. Cool as a cucumber, Claire thought.

"Ah, Claire," he said, taking long strides towards her. The woman was beginning to wake up over in the bed now because everyone was talking so loudly. No one payed her any attention. "How do you feel?"

The woman in the bed sat bolt upright just then, staring with huge hazel eyes. She was very beautiful, even with her hair mussed up and her clothes all wrinkled. "Did you just say Claire!?" she asked excitedly. "Because–" she saw Claire– "CLAIRE! You're... ALIVE!"

She ran over to her and gave her a huge bear hug. "Claire, I'm so... oh my God, does Charlie know? Who found you? Are you okay? Oh my God, I missed you so much..."

"Er, Sawyer found me," Claire said, prying herself out of the woman's arms. It was hard. She was very strong. "And... I'm really tired. Can I lie down?"

The woman let go of her right away and pulled her over to the straw bed. "Sorry! Are you hurt? Sawyer! Sawyer, you _found_ her! _Where_ did you find her?"

Claire squirmed around on the bed, getting comfortable, trying to relax, watching as the woman ran up and hugged Sawyer, her brown curls flying every which way. Jack squinted at them meanly.

"Yeah, Sawyer, where was she?" he asked in a strained voice. "_I_ looked everywhere I could..."

"She was just in the jungle," Sawyer said, shaking the woman off of him. "She's tired, Kate, and..."

"And what?" Kate asked still holding onto Sawyer's hand. Jack glared at them and Kate slowly let go with a rather unsubtle look of longing directed at Sawyer.

"She doesn't remember anything," said Sawyer sadly. "Not any of this island stuff, at least."

Kate looked horrified. "You mean, you don't remember me?" she asked in a hushed voice after a moment of processing it. "Or Charlie? You _have _to remember Charlie..."

Claire shook her head, feeling horrible. How could she have forgotten all these people? Who was this Charlie? Was he her... boyfriend? Claire didn't like the idea of not remembering a boyfriend or something... that would be _so_ awkward.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember Charlie..." Claire said, tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't stop them. "Geez, I feel crook..."

"You feel what?" Jack said. "No, whatever. Well, Claire, my guess is that you've got amnesia, either from a head injury or you just blocked things out because they were too overwhelming." He squinted at her. "You don't really look_ injured_."

"Okay." Claire took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "Maybe if I get some sleep, I'll remember what happened."

"Yeah!" said Kate enthusiastically, while Sawyer nodded, a spark in his blue eyes. "Maybe!"

"Probably not," Jack said in a depressed voice. He rubbed his stubble, thinking. "Yeah, probably not. Normally, I would give you a CAT scan or prescribe you a shrink or something, but seeing where we are..." He trailed off sadly, gesturing around the caves with his hands.

"Well then, I guess I'll get some sleep now, then," Claire said tiredly. Jack and Kate looked at each other, and then Kate looked at Sawyer, and they nodded.

"We'll tell everyone else in the morning," Sawyer decided. "You get some rest."

They walked away to talk in the corner and Claire fell asleep almost immediately.

…...

Charlie opened his eyes slowly and stared outside. He shivered as a light breeze passed through the caves. It was very early morning. He walked outside, clutching his acorn protectively, and sat down to watch the sunrise. It was beautiful. So orange and yummy looking, almost the color of ice cream or something. Charlie licked his lips in hunger.

As he sat there he made a very final decision that he would not forget about Claire. Ever. But he wouldn't be depressed anymore, either. He wouldn't dwell on sad things.

"Ah," he said whimsically. "This wonderful, good day just takes my pains all away."

Tears welled up in his eyes and he quickly discarded his stupid plan not to be depressed. He had temporarily forgotten his bloody rhyming!

"Why must I rhyme all of the time?" he moaned to himself. "It's really very bad for my system, frank_ly_, and I can not stand a minute more of this–"

But he was cut off. His eyes had rolled back into his head and his head slumped onto his shoulder as he fell into a flashback.

"Hey, mister knickbocker bobbity-bop

I like the way that you bobbity-bop.

I like the way that you bobbity-bop

With your hands

Yea_!" Charlie skipped down the British street happily, jumping over the cracks in the street and sliding around in puddles while wearing his brand-new rhinestone studded camouflage boots. He clapped his hands to the rhythm of the song, ignoring the stares from the few other pedestrians on the street that night._

"Hey mister knickerbocker bobbity-bop

I like the way that you bobbity-bop.

I like the way that you bobbity-bop

With your mouth

Yea_!" Charlie ran across the street, sliding out of the way of a very angry car, and dashed madly down a side-street, now singing at the top of his lungs. _

"HEY MISTER KNICKERBOCKER BOBBITY-BOP

I LIKE THE WAY THAT YOU BOBBITY-_BOP!" He slowed down his running and took a deep breath. Looking around to make sure no one was watching him, he pushed open a hidden door on the wall and slipped inside. _

"_Charlie! There's m' main man!" Charlie's latest friend Tommy greeted him with a slap on the back and a cheesy smile that glowed bright and pale in the dim light. Charlie beamed right back at him, flipping on the lights._

"_So, what's up Tommy? How's the family?" _

_Tommy glared at him, lighting a couple candles that were on a tall wooden table. "How many times must I remind you that I have none? I live all alone!" He waved his hands around the empty room, his long baggy shirt sleeves waving the cobwebs around in the air. "I mean, really, Charlie, _this_ is my house."_

_Charlie shrugged, looking around the almost empty room appraisingly. "It's an alright house," he said, sitting down on the table that was the only furniture inside. "Better than living on the streets." _

"_Watch it! You'll bump the candles!" Tommy scolded him. He turned the lights back off. Charlie blinked, his eyes adjusting to the flickering candle light. Tommy walked over to him with a frown on his white face. _

"_Let's get down to business," he said, and he reached into his pocket._

"_Alrighty," Charlie said, still smiling. "What do you got today?" He rubbed his hands together eagerly, wondering now if maybe he should have brought money to pay Tommy._

"_Drugs," Tommy replied. "Obviously. I'm a dealer." He wagged the bag in front of Charlie's nose. "Look at them."_

"_So druggie," Charlie sighed. "We're so wicked."_

"_Yeah." Tommy handed the bag over to Charlie with a small smile, his cold, small hand bumping against Charlie's warm, calloused fingers. "You ever consider changing your name to Tom?"_

"_No, actually. Never," Charlie replied happily._

_Tommy wrinkled his nose at him in frustration and handed him the bag of drugs. Charlie grinned at it for a second, then slipped it into the pocket of his dark green boot-cut jeans. It felt snug in there. Secure. Then Charlie remembered that it was _drugs_ he was smiling about and he felt bad. But maybe this would be the last time he came to Tommy. Maybe he'd quit soon._

_Maybe._

"_So, Tommy, sorry I can't pay you today," he said to distract himself. Tommy's eyes widened in shock and he tumbled backwards in surprise so sincere that he nearly fell to the ground. Looking around the room like a wild dog, he rasped at Charlie, "You're joking?" _

_Charlie blushed a dull pink in the dim light. He ran a hand through his blonde hair, fluffing it up, and slid off the table, careful not to bump the candles. He didn't meet Tommy's eyes as he explained. "Yeah, I don't have a very big income right now, and er, I spent my drug money on new shoes." He wiggled around awkwardly in his combat boots._

"_You really can't pay me?" Tommy said, still staring at Charlie broken-heartedly. "You realize that I need the money."_

"_Maybe this is a good thing," Charlie said. "I mean, now you can pursue an honest career. And I can, uhm, quit?"_

_Tommy threw back his head and barked like a seal. It might be considered laughing, but Charlie really didn't think that's what it was. It sounded very much like a seal. Charlie wondered why Tommy didn't try to take the drugs back, but maybe he didn't have anyone else to sell them to. This was quite a secluded area._

"_Tommy, I have to go now," he said anxiously. "I've got a date tonight and–"_

"_A date?" Tommy stopped barking and stepped closer to Charlie. "You have money for that?" Charlie blushed a deeper shade of pink._

"_Yeah, maybe." _

"_Give it to me!" Tommy grabbed Charlie's shoulders and shook him. "You don't understand how much I need money. I NEED it. Give it to me!"_

"_Tommy," Charlie said, trying to extract his hands. "It's only two pounds. It's for my date. I can't pay you."_

_Tommy breathed hard in Charlie's face. His breath smelled like wet dogs and his eyes were dark and manic. He let go of Charlie and said in a rush, "Who's your date? She rich?"_

"_Why?" Charlie took a step away from him nervously._

"_WHO'S YOUR DATE IS SHE RICH!"_

"_Lucy Heatherton! And yeah, she's loaded, but that's not important." Charlie took a deep breath and gathered all his courage. "I have to go now."_

_Tommy smiled at him. "I'm going with you."_

_Charlie stepped around him slowly, watching him closely. "No, Tommy, you're staying right here." He backed up against the door and groped for the handle in the dark. _

_Tommy barked again, only once this time. "Yes, I am, Charlie. I'm going to punish you." Charlie got the door open and fell backwards out of it, down onto the street. He landed in a puddle on the ground and Tommy stepped out in front of him. "You and I, Charlie, are going to make some money."_

"_How?" Charlie whispered, crawling backwards away from him. He didn't really want to know. It was probably not good. Not at all. He didn't want Tommy to tell him the plan, but he did anyway._

"_We're gonna rob your girlfriend."_

"CHARLIE!"

"Gee!" Charlie rubbed his eyes and sat up straight. He looked up and his face broke into a smile. It was Locke! Locke, who had helped him overcome his drug addiction!

I'm clean now, he told himself joyfully, so that memory doesn't matter. It was all in the past.

"Hi, Locke!" he chirped, hopping onto his feet spryly. "You're... bach?" Locke frowned at him grimly, shaking his head, and pulled Boone, who was always at his side these days, closer to him.

"Charlie, we need to talk," Locke explained sourly.

"Hey, are you gonna tell him that–" Boone started saying, but Locke cut him off.

"No, Boone, SHUT UP!" he shouted. Boone gaped at him and his parted lips started trembling hard. He burst into his tears, looking very surprised. Charlie was a bit surprised too. How could a man like Locke, who was so good as to free Charlie from his addiction, possibly be so mean? But then Charlie remembered when Locke had attempted to murder Jack, and then Joe the Moth Man, and then when he had _really _murdered Bob, the most annoying person in the world. Maybe he just had a bad temper? Or maybe Charlie was viewing the Bald through rose-tinted glasses, as the expression goes.

"What are we going to talk about?" Charlie asked. "Can you please just, er, spit it out?" He didn't feel much like having a conversation with Locke right now, not when he was in such a bad mood and Charlie had just proved to himself that he was kind of dangerous. Plus Charlie hated talking. Bloody rhymes.

"Okay, Charlie, listen up," Locke said, ignoring Boone completely. "I hate you."

Charlie raised an eyebrow at him, assuming he had misheard the man. But Locke looked deadly as a cobra as he repeated,

"I hate you."

"What?" Charlie stared at him. "What do you mean, you hate me, what I do?" He walked over to loook into the Bald's old face, horrified. "What did I, Charlie, ever do to you?"

"Nothing!" Boone sniffled. "You're just there." He glared at Locke with his lower-lip stuck out. "You big bully!" Locke gasped.

"Boone, that's enough for now!" he shouted. He got right up in Boone's face. "You hear me!?"

Charlie decided that he should go get Jack to defuse the situation. He sprang to his feet, and making sure that Locke didn't notice, ran silently into the caves.

People were beginning to wake up at the moment, because Locke's yelling was getting loud. Charlie passed by Shannon and Sayid, who were eating a breakfast of mangoes, and informed them quietly that Boone appeared to be in trouble at the moment. They ran outside.

Charlie continued through the caves until he reached Jack's section. Jack was sitting down on a rock, glaring at his feet. Someone was asleep in his bed. Charlie assumed it was Kate. He slinked up to Jack.

"Uh, hey Jack, John Locke's back." Jack stared at him. "He's acting like a buffoon, shouting bad things at poor Boone."

Jack raised a single eyebrow at him, stared a little more, then started laughing a creepy, exclusive laugh. He kept staring at Charlie like he had a secret that Charlie would be dying to learn, but frankly it just worried Charlie. Had Jack lost his sanity? What was wrong with him?

"Hey, Jack, are you okay? Are you sane, I might say?"

"Oh, Charlie," Jack sighed, rubbing tears of laughter from his eyes. He walked over and put his hands on Charlie's shoulders. "You're gonna be_ so_ happy."

Charlie gently stepped away from Jack, looking a question at him.

"Claire's back," Jack said.

Charlie gasped, trying to wrap his mind around this. _Claire– back– YES this is awesome, where is she?– nowhere, Jack's just messing with you– CLAIRE CLAIRE CLAIRE. _

"Where!?" Charlie wailed. "Where is Claire!?" Jack's grin twitched into a disapproving frown and his hazel eyes glowered down at Charlie.

"Shut it, you're gonna wake her up, Pace. And stop that... _rhyming_." Charlie didn't even hear the last part. He was to busy looking around for Claire. And– there she was. Lying down in Jack's bed, awake. Charlie had assumed that she was Kate. Charlie began hyperventilating, too afraid to go near her. She didn't look hurt. Was she going to be rhyming, too? Was she okay? Did she remember–

"She doesn't remember you, though," Jack interrupted, and Charlie gasped again. What? How? Why? When where who? She had to remember him, he'd been obsessing over her for a week! For forever! Her eyes were such a brilliant shade of blue-green. Almost true turquoise.

"Claire, my Claire, that's not fair," he moaned, stepping closer her. She looked confused.

"You're Charlie?" she asked. But she didn't say it CHAR-lee, like everyone else. She made it sound much more beautiful. Chaa-lee.

He nodded.

"I– I'm sorry I don't remember you. I want to." She squinted at him with a frown of concentration, like she was willing herself to remember him, but she couldn't and Charlie wanted to go over and comfort her. But it seemed like he couldn't move any closer. Claire was still frowning at him. "Why are you rhyming?"

Charlie moaned. He didn't want to explain that. It would involve even more rhyming. Thank Heavens, Kate heard the question on her way into the room and answered for him.

"He was cursed by a vampire." Claire's jaw-dropped and Jack made a small noise of protest, but Kate went on. "He has to rhyme until we find a cure for it. It's awful."

"Vampires?" Claire asked. Kate nodded, but Jack shook his head forcefully.

"_No_, girls, there's just something wrong with his brain. Lack of oxygen." Charlie was highly offended by this remark. _Jack, you know nothing_, he thought forcefully. But he wasn't a telepath and Jack didn't receive the thought.

Darn.

"Look, Jack," Kate said angrily, "I know that's not true, got it? You're just going to have to trust me here." Jack looked surprised.

"Kate... are you mad about something?" he asked her, not sounding confused, really (Jack could never sound confused), but curious. Kate frowned.

"_No_!" she said. "It's just, he's cursed, okay? Not brain-damaged." Charlie loved her for defending him, and the rush of love he felt reminded him of Claire, so he turned back to her. She was staring at him, her mouth curved down in the corners, dark circles under her eyes. Charlie was very worried about her. Seeing what he'd been put through from a day with Ethan, what had happened to her in over a week? Maybe Ethan had sucked her blood. :O

"Oh, Claire, please, have you been, and are you okay? My love for you is so strong that I cannot say." He moved closer to her and she grimaced.

"I'm fine," she said, sounding pained. "I'm sorry, really sorry, that I don't remember you, Charlie." Charlie felt guilty now.

"Don't be sorry, don't be sad. Be calm, peaceful, _please,_ be _glad_," he told her tearfully. She looked away from him quickly, letting some of her golden hair fall into her face.

"Okay, Charlie," she said. "Can I get some more sleep, please? I'm not...ready for this... right now." She lay back down, her lower lip poking out in pain.

"Of course, oh, please, you can rest," Charlie said. "I want you to feel your best." He backed up and smiled at her helplessly. She was safe, and that was all the mattered. He turned to Jack, who was smirking at them. "I'll be back, okay, Jack?"

"If you must," Jack said, rolling his eyes. Kate cleared her throat.

"I have to go back to the beach to get some of my clothes and stuff," she announced. "Want to come with me, Charlie?" Charlie nodded happily, and they set off. As they left the caves, though, Charlie looked back and he caught one more glance of gold glistening on the leaves of Jack's bed and worried about Claire.

…...

"Sun, please. Why have you been so secretive lately?" Jin had her cornered against a wall in the caves. He didn't look angry, exactly, just confused. And worried. Ha. Like _he_ was concerned about their marriage.

"Jin," Sun said, trying to sound as confused as he was, "I haven't been secretive. It's you who's been keeping secrets." She looked up at him innocently. Jin rolled his eyes.

"I have not, Sun. I hardly see you anymore. Where have you been? Who are your... friends?"

"I have none," Sun lied. "I only need you." She didn't mention Kate to him. Or Scott. No, he didn't need to know about Scott.

"Oh, Sun." Jin smiled at her. "I love you. But go ahead and make some friends."

"Really?" Sun was surprised. Jin normally was very strict and selfish with her. That's why Sun had cheated on him in the past, and why she was... almost doing it again now. Now she felt bad about. Thanks, Jin. Really.

"Yes, of course," he said. "I'm in a generous mood right now." Sun forced a smile at him.

"Thank you," she said to him. He smiled back at her.

"You're welcome," he said. "Now, I have to go to the beach and catch some fish. Please feel free to relax. I know I've been uptight these past few years, but I want to make it up to you now."

"Oh!" Sun exclaimed. "Okay. Have fun fishing, Jin."

"I will," he said, and he strolled off.

…...

Charlie and Kate skipped down the well-trod jungle trail, and Charlie wished he had his guitar with him so he could play them some music as they walked. He'd always wanted to be a strolling minstrel. He would love entertaining people as he wandered down the streets of Manchester, maybe even getting some money for it. The island would have to do for now, though.

"You know what, Kate? I feel _so_ great."

Kate smiled back at him, her excitement clearly expressed on her face. "I know, me too! I really didn't think she would come back... I'm so glad she'd alive."

Charlie nodded fervently, glancing up at the overcast sky as he thought. The sun was barely shining through, but that didn't dampen his spirits. He would have to tell Sawyer Claire was back, and Locke and Boone and Shannon and Sayid would want to know too. Maybe even Michael and Walt would care.

Charlie was feeling so happy about Claire's return that he didn't even care that she didn't remember him. She would get to meet him all over again. She'd get reintroduced to jelly. She'd make friends with Kate. It would all work out perfectly and eventually they'd all forget she'd ever been missing at all. Even Claire. Even Charlie. And by then they'd be off the island and they'd all be friends.

"Kate, I think I love Claire. That's how strongly I care," Charlie confided. Kate laughed.

"I know, it's obvious, Charlie," she said. "I think everyone knows you're in love with her. What's really funny about you, Charlie, is you can't control your emotions."

"But... what?" Charlie said, feeling a little defensive. Kate giggled at him.

A twig snapped behind them then and they both turned around very quickly. It was Jin. Charlie had always thought that Jin was a grumpy man who was never happy, and was therefore very impressed to see that today he was smiling broadly. Kate waved him over to their group.

"Hi, Jin!" she said. He nodded at her. He was carrying a large net and a fishing rod. Charlie's stomach rumbled with hunger. He wanted breakfast now– smoked fish and fruit, which, on the island, was also lunch and dinner, but that didn't matter. It was food.

They continued on there way silently for a little while, each wrapped up in their own personal thoughts. Charlie was day-dreaming about Claire again, of course. There was one thing bothering him, though. Claire didn't seem to appreciate the rhyming very much. Charlie wanted nothing more then to impress her on her first few returned days.

"Um, Kate, do you think that– er– Sawyer should... return my normal speech? I think he could."

Kate considered the request for a moment, then nodded at Charlie. "Yeah, I was going to visit Sawyer anyway. I'm sure he could decipher enough words in one of those books to cure the rhyming."

Charlie beamed at her, appreciating the permission. She knew Sawyer better than Charlie, and since they also seemed to be in some sort of relationship, he had wanted her opinion.

"Thanks Kate. You're great!" he told her. She grinned at him beatifically, and so did Jin, although he couldn't understand them. Jumping on his impulse, Charlie pulled both of them in to a hug. In retrospect, that put them at a slight disadvantage.

_Ethan_ was the one to pull them out of the hug. Charlie's whole body went rigid with shock-fear when he saw him. Ethan, with his merciless brown eyes, his neat dark hair, and his bone-chilling smile– he had returned.

Charlie was freaking out inside now. Last time Charlie had seen Ethan, he'd been trying to escape from his henchman, Apikai. Charlie had regained consciousness a few minutes earlier to find himself covered with mud and tied up. Ethan had stood back and watched as Apikai and picked Charlie up and pulled a ladder out of some bushes. It had been raining. Then Charlie had tried to sneak away, but Ethan had grabbed him, pressed some spot on his neck, and he'd been unconscious.

Charlie didn't want to remember this. He didn't want see Ethan now. Ethan had completely slipped his mind, and now he was probably going to kidnap Claire all over again. And Charlie. And Jack would be so ticked off by this that he wouldn't search for them and this time Charlie would really die.

Dying was not what Charlie wanted to do anytime soon, but he couldn't seem to make his legs move. Ethan's eyes bore into his and he wasn't sure how much time passed as they just stared at each other. To Charlie's relief, they were interrupted by Kate, who threw herself at Ethan, hard enough to knock someone to the ground. But Ethan didn't fall over. He didn't even move. Instead, as soon as Kate touched him, he grabbed Kate's waist and threw _her_ to the ground several feet away. Kate was shrieking in pain.

Turning back to Charlie, Ethan started laughing. This time, though, instead of a cheap rip-off of Voldemort's laugh, his laughter was low and rhythmic. He picked Charlie up by his neck and Charlie gagged, immediately trying to breathe even though he really should have been trying to hold his breath. Ethan moved him over to a tree and pushed him against it with his super human strength. Charlie gasped and chocked, because surely this was going to kill him.

Luckily, though, Jin saved the day by coming in with some fancy kung fu kick or something, taking two long steps before jumping in the air, swinging his hips around, and knocking Ethan slightly to the side with the heel of his foot. Ethan's hands slipped just enough for Charlie to slide to the ground, breathing once more.

Jin was shouting at Ethan in Korean, and Kate was shouting at him in English, but Ethan didn't seem to care much, brushing off the insults with a wave of his hand. To Kate he said, "Would you like to lose the ability to speak, Austen? I have a curse for that." Charlie shuddered. So Ethan really was a vampire who could curse people. It was really true.

Kate stopped yelling and glared at him. "What do you want, Ethan?!" she demanded. Ethan smiled again, showing off his long fangs.

"What do I want? Just your lives!" he chuckled.

"Well," Kate spluttered indignantly, "you can't have them! Go away!" She scrambled to her feet. Charlie marveled at how brave she was. "We don't want you here!"

"Okay, okay, I don't want your lives. I want Claire."

Charlie stood up now too. No, Ethan was not getting Claire no matter if he wanted her or not. He could take Charlie's life, Charlie's friends, anything, but not Claire. He stepped closer to Ethan, trembling with rage now. He felt like slugging Ethan across the face, but he knew that that would be pointless. Ethan's smile grew broader.

"Oh, you don't like that Charlie? That's too bad. Because if you and your friends don't bring her to this very spot tonight, some of you are going to die. A lot of you are going to die. Each night you fail to bring her, more and more of you are going to turn up dead.

"And Charlie? You'll be last."

With one last terrifying laugh, Ethan ran through the jungle away from them, so fast he was a blur to the human eye.

…...

Sun made it to the beach, her feet sinking lightly into the sand, her head full of conflicting emotions. All because of Jin. Jin-Soo Kwon. Sun couldn't live with him, but she couldn't live without him. And she didn't know what to do.

When she and Jin had gotten lost in the jungle, Sun had thought she was going to die. They'd been missing for two days, surviving on fruit and nuts alone. Jin had been terrified then, and Sun had thought that it was for himself only. Sun now thought that maybe it was for her too. Maybe all this time, he'd been trying to keep her safe.

But that didn't make sense, because sometimes he'd been downright cruel to Sun, yelling at her for running off and blowing up over nothing. Over the last week, though, his attitude had been improving. He'd been growing nicer towards Sun. More like he used to be.

But that was where the problem was. Sun had been getting closer to another man on this island, and now she felt horrible about it. She loved Jin, but couldn't forgive how he'd been treating her in the past, and at the same time, if he wanted to renew there marriage, she was all for it. She didn't know what to do.

"Hey, Sun!" Scott called out to her. Her heart rate picked up and she felt very nervous now. She didn't know what she'd do.

"Hello, Scott," she replied, walking slowly over to his cabin. She shyly avoided his blue eyes and pushed open the wooden door. He followed her inside.

She sat on one of the two recycled plane seats and reclined, still ignoring him. He was staring at her, and she squirmed under his gaze.

"Sun," he began, at the same time she said,

"Scott..."

The both sighed and Sin finally looked him full in the face. His thick blond hair needed trimming and he had toothpaste on his mouth. He looked just as anxious as she was.

"We can't keep doing this," Sun exclaimed. "Jin–"

"I have a wife back home," Scott said. "I can't, either." Sun frowned at him.

"What's her name?" she asked politely.

"Mary," Scott replied. "She's wonderful. God, she must be so upset. I wonder how she and the kids are dealing with this..."

"You have kids?" Sun asked, jealous. She had always wanted children. "How many?"

"Three," Scott said quietly. "Tyler, Tristen, and Samantha. They're beautiful." He stared at her and sighed again. "So well-behaved."

"I'm sorry," Sun said. "You must miss them." She didn't have much family back at home, but she did miss her mother, and she had a lot of friends who she wanted badly, so she was able to easily sympathize with his pain. She stood up and moved closer to him.

"I'm so sorry, Scott, but I can't keep seeing you," she said softly. He looked at her and nodded silently, seeming to be reminiscing about something. Probably his family.

"Neither can I," he said. "You're a great woman, though, Sun." Sun smiled at him.

"You're a great man," she said, then, without a backwards glance, she left the cabin and went to go find Jin. To tell him about her new friends.

…...

"Charlie," Kate was saying hysterically, "we have to go tell Jack. We have to go find him and make a plan. Let's go."

Charlie silently shook his head and sat down.

"Why not?" Kate screamed at him. "Why can't we tell him? We need to prepare for tonight. Come _on_, Charlie."

Charlie squinted at her. The sun was coming out from behind the clouds and was shining right in his eyes. He blinked. "Kate, I don't want Claire to worry. So we're really in no hurry." They were not going to tell Claire about what Ethan said. He didn't want her running off to Ethan to save them or anything stupid and heroic like that. He wanted her safe and sound and blissfully ignorant.

Kate seemed annoyed with him. "Charlie, I said Jack, not Claire. Now let's _go_." Charlie shook his head, not wanting to explain because of the rhyming. But he had to suck it up and explain anyway.

"If we go tell Jack, he will make a plan, and the knowledge will be with all of the clan," he told her, looking earnestly into her hazel eyes. "I can't have Claire put herself at risk." She rolled her eyes and Charlie's temper flared. "Don't look at me like that! Don't huff and _tisk_!"

Kate crossed her arms at him stubbornly. "She won't. I won't let her. Now let's go tell Jack!" She stomped her foot. Charlie watched as it dug into the mud she was standing on, getting her sneaker grimy, when all of a sudden, he felt kind of faint.

He fell to the side in a flashback.

"_This the place?"_

_Tommy was staring at Charlie with his horrible bloodshot eyes. Charlie nodded curtly, looking away. He had no idea how he hadn't found Tommy creepy before. He was covered with dust and dirt and ketchup, and he had a really weird, loud way of breathing, like there was something stuck in his throat constantly. Charlie wasn't exactly the best judge of character. _

_They were standing outside a packed pub. Charlie pushed the door open, eager to be with people other than Tommy, who was no longer his friend. _

_He walked ahead of Tommy, searching for Lucy in the crowd. There was a football game on TV and he was pleased to see that England was winning. _

"_Charlie," Tommy breathed onto his neck, "we're gonna rob your girlfriend." _

_Charlie sped up, glancing behind himself, very disturbed. "No we're not," he hissed behind him. "Got it? We'll work out something else lat–"_

"_Charlie, there you are! You're late!" Lucy was waving at him from a table to his right. Charlie quickly walked over, slipping a little on something wet on the floor. _

"_Hey Lucy! Sorry about that, I got caught up in some... er, business." He grinned at her. She grinned back. She was a pretty girl, with thick brown hair and a round, cherubic face that Charlie absolutely adored. She batted her long eye-lashes at him as he sat down across from her._

_At the bar, Tommy pulled out a stool, sat down, then turned around and stared directly at Charlie._

_Charlie shuddered._

"_What's the matter?" Lucy asked, her expression changing quickly to concern for him. She looked around nervously, as if feeling eyes on the back of her neck. "Are you okay, Charlie?"_

"_Oh, yeah," Charlie said, wishing Tommy would looking at him. "How are you? Er, what'd you do today?" He drummed his fingers on the table, wanting drugs. Then he remembered he was carrying them in his pocket. _

_Could anyone tell? Charlie looked around at all the tables near them, but no one looked like they were suspicious of him. He took a deep breath, and involuntarily caught Tommy's eye._

_Why didn't Tommy just take the drugs back? Charlie wondered. He could sell them to someone else. That would solve everything. Then they wouldn't have to "Rob your girlfriend, Charlie," as Tommy was mouthing at him now. _

"_Charlie, I can tell somethings bothering you," Lucy said. Charlie looked back at her, his eyes wide and frightened. Lucy didn't know he was a druggie. She couldn't learn about Tommy, because Charlie was kind of breaking the law in this situation too. He shivered, trying to think of a lie to tell her._

"_Lucy," he said, "I need a job." Hey, that's actually true! he thought triumphantly. Great! "I'm barely making by as it is."_

_Their conversation paused as a waitress stopped by to take their orders. She left without becoming suspicious of Charlie. Charlie turned back to Lucy's worried face._

"_Charlie, I can pay for this tonight. You don't have to," she said. Charlie sighed, scratched his neck, and looked away from Lucy. He was watching the soccer game for a moment when suddenly, Tommy's head popped up and smiled at Charlie as he mouthed once again, "We're gonna rob your girlfriend, Charlie." _

"_Gaa!" Charlie said, recoiling away from the frightening sight. Lucy looked to see what it was but Tommy was gone. Charlie rushed to cover it up. "I– um, sure, you can pay, Lucy, but I'll need to pay you back. Soon. If I just had work."_

"_Hey!" Lucy said. "Maybe you could get a job at my father's museum. I can ask if he's got any spots open. Would that... be okay?"_

_Charlie grinned at her. "Yeah, sure!" he said, just as a waiter stopped at their table to give them their drinks. Charlie gasped when he looked up and saw who it was. It was Tommy. _

_As he handed Charlie his German beer, he whispered in a voice only audible to Charlie, "We're gonna rob your girlfriend, Charlie."_

_Charlie refused to look at him._

"_Lucy, your a lifesaver," Charlie said when Tommy had left. Lucy beamed at him, and Charlie just wanted to stick his finger into her dimples. He satisfied himself with pushing her hair behind her ear instead. She looked down shyly._

"_You are too, Charlie," she said, and Charlie blushed pale pink. _

"_Ah, shucks," he chuckled, waving his hand dismissively. "Er, how's your wine?" he asked, changing the subject. _

"_Sour," she replied. "Is wine supposed to taste sour?" Charlie shrugged._

"_I dunno," he said, "I'm more of a beer guy myself." He took a long drink, savoring the taste. He did realize that beer and other drugs were a deadly combo, but he didn't really care at the moment. Besides, he hadn't used the drugs for awhile and didn't plan on using them anytime soon. _

"_We're gonna rob your girlfriend, Charlie," came Tommy's voice to Charlie's right. He turned around immediately but Tommy wasn't there anymore. "We're gonna rob your girlfriend, Charlie." This time it came from the left. Starting to sweat as he freaked out, Charlie found that Tommy wasn't there either._

"_Charlie!" Lucy said. "What's wrong?"_

"_I'm gonna ro– I mean, I'm fine," he said._

"_Oh really?" Lucy asked skeptically. She had her worried look on again, and Charlie realized he couldn't handle this right now._

"_Lucy, I'm really sorry, but I feel pretty terrible right now," he admitted. She raised her eyebrows. "I think– I've gotta go. I'm really sorry."_

"_Oh, Charlie," Lucy sighed. "Fine. I'll handle the bill."_

_Charlie gave her his two pounds anyway, feeling horrible for ditching her. "Maybe I'll swing by tomorrow, Luce. I'm really, really sorry, I'm just–"_

"_It's okay, Charlie," Lucy said sweetly. Charlie was glad that she was so infinitely patient, but it made him feel so infinitely guilty. _

"_Bye," he said, leaving the table. He made his way through the crowd quickly, looking around in paranoia, and pulled open the door. He let it swing shut behind him. Then began jogging down the street as fast as he could, but something caught him on the shoulder. _

_It was Tommy._

"_We're gonna rob your girlfriend, Charlie."_

…_..._

"Char–_lie_!" Kate slapped him awake. "This is _not_ the time to have a flashback! Jeez!" Charlie blinked at her, trying to push Tommy out of his mind. He was a terrible person.

So was Ethan.

Charlie jumped up to a standing position, brushing dirt and leaves off his bright red jeans. Kate and Jin were staring at him, Kate looking disgruntled, Jin confused. Charlie blushed sheepishly and followed after Kate when she turned towards the caves. He would just have to face it if Claire found out about Ethan's horrible threats.

When they got to the caves, Jack was there talking to Claire. They both looked stressed out. Charlie figured that was because Jack was a jerk and no one could get along with him, not even someone as sweet and polite as Claire.

Claire looked up from her conversation, and met eyes with Charlie. He smiled at her, and she looked away. Kate marched up to Jack.

"Jack, we need to talk," she said. Jack grinned at her, showing lots of teeth.

"Talk away, honey," he said. Kate shook her head, glancing subtly at Claire, who was playing with a strand of fabric from her shirt.

"Not here," she said. "It's... private."

Jack's eyebrows shot up on his face as his smile fell suspiciously. "Really? Okay, follow me. I need to get some fish from the beach. We can talk on the way there."

"Okay," Kate said seriously, and Jack stood up to go. As they started walking away, Kate looked back at Claire. "Will you be okay here by yourself?" she asked her in a concerned voice. Claire shook her head.

"I won't be by myself. I'll be with Charlie," she said, and Charlie's heart leaped with joy. She was so nice to him, even though she didn't remember him. They really were meant to be together.

…...

"So, this is the situation," Kate began. Jack gazed at her expectantly, stroking his beard a little to show he was interested. "Ethan's back."

Jacks scowled at the ground, shaking his head in an effort to contain his rage.

"Ethan, _Jack_," Kate said. "And he wants Claire."

Jack stomped very hard on a stick that was in his way. It snapped. "Kate, tell me what he did." He phrased the need for information not as a question, but as a command, because he was so upset. Kate's nose wrinkled as she remembered the incident.

"He attacked Charlie," she said, "and me. He said that if we didn't... bring Claire back to that spot tonight, he would kill a lot of us survivors." She stared at Jack for help.

"This is a problem," Jack said coldly. Kate nodded slowly.

"Yeah, it is," she agreed.

"How do we solve it..." Jack wondered. "We can't exactly just hand her over to him. There's gotta be some way around this..." He was wondering if there were any unimportant blonde people to use as a replacement for Claire, but that wouldn't work. Ethan would see through the ruse in a second and besides, Jack was the de facto leader, and in charge of the safety of all the survivors, not just the few he didn't hate.

"I don't want him to kill me, Jack," Kate said. Jack stared at her. Was she suggesting giving Claire to Ethan? Jack was unimpressed. He'd always thought of Kate as a brave, selfless person that cared about her friends more than anything, and he was disappointed in her for even _implying_ that they should surrender to Ethan.

"Kate, I don't believe this!" Jack said explosively. Her eyes widened at him.

"What? You didn't let me finish!" She grabbed his shoulder and turned him towards her to look in her eyes. "We can't let Ethan get Claire. And we can't let him kill us. So... we've got to kill _him_."

Jack smiled.

"Yes, Kate, that's a fantastic idea." She gave him a nervous grin and he pulled her into a kiss. Afterwards he hugged her very tightly. "We'll get it done."

"Jack." Kate wiggled away from him. "I'm sorry, but... we should keep going."

"Where?"

"To the beach." Kate took a step further into the jungle. "It's not very safe in here. Let's go to the beach."

"Sure thing, Kate," Jack said, not telling Kate that nowhere on the island was safe.

Not with Ethan on the loose.

…...

Locke was very angry at Boone. In fact, "very angry" didn't even come close to describing his feelings towards the boy at the moment. He was experiencing pure rage.

"Do you want me to be your mentor?" he demanded as they stared at each other across the un-openable hatch door. "Do you want to open the hatch with me and find the answers!?"

Boone shifted uncomfortably on the log he was slouching on and Locke was upset even more. Why couldn't the kid get a [expletive] backbone?! Locke didn't have the patience for this.

"ANSWER ME! Do you _want_ to open the _hatch_, _Boone_, or not!?"

Boone pouted. "Yeah, I guess."

"You GUESS?" Locke said. He shook his head at Boone warningly. "Guessing is not enough. If we are to open this then we've got to really want to."

"I do, I do! I just don't like how you treat everyone!" Boone whined. Locke shook his head.

"I treat them how they deserve to be treated. If they shape up and act like respectable human beings, _then_ I'll be polite, but right now, they're not worth my time."

Boone looked away from Locke's piercing eyes, and blushed. Locke wondered if he understood yet or not. Because if Boone was going to be complaining about everything that Locke did, then Locke was going to have to give him up and he really didn't want to have to do that. Boone was so fresh and new to the world, Locke could mold him like clay into exactly the kind of person he needed.

"John," Boone said, "fine. I won't comment on how you treat everyone else. I guess... you're pretty cool and stuff, so you... must have lots of life experience. I don't really. So, I'll listen to you?"

"Will you?" Locke snapped. "Is that a question or a commitment!?"

"A commitment?"

"WHAT IS IT!?"

"It's a freaking _commitment_, not a question, _okay_?" Boone said, his voice now strong, if a little defensive. "Do you need me to repeat that again? Or did I say it right this time!? Jeez Louise!" Locke's anger lessened slightly. Funny how he was more satisfied when Boone actually held his own then when he backed away from him like an injured dog. Which was what Locke wanted from Charlie. Locke sighed. His anger with Boone was gone now that he remember that Brit.

"You said it right," Locke moaned, running a tired hand over his head, wishing he had hair.

"Oh!"

"Let's just keep trying to open this thing, okay?" Locke said, and with only one confused look Boone set to work.

…...

"What." Jack stared down at the beach, not believing his eyes. "What have they done!?"

Kate looked at Jack like she was confused. Could she not see all the cabins that were down there? A swimming pool and library Jack might accept. But if everyone down here had their own house, did that mean that they didn't care if they got off the island or not? Did that mean that they thought they could live normal lives here in this place of doom and misery!? And why hadn't they told the cave dwellers about their obvious surplus of resources? Didn't Jack's people deserve to live in comfort too!?

"What has who done, Jack?" Kate asked, sounding slightly concerned. "What's the matter?" She lightly touched his arm but her jerked it away. Kate lived at the beach. He was imagining Kate and Sawyer sharing their own little cottage here, enjoying time alone together while Jack was healing people in the primitive caves.

"Look at this, Kate," Jack glared down at the beach. "Why didn't you tell me you guys had houses here!?"

Kate blinked at him. "Oh. I thought you knew that. And– is this really important right now? With Ethan running loose and all?"

Jack sighed. "You're right, I guess." He shook his head, regaining his calm. "What should we do now that we're here? Visit Sawyer?" That last statement was a joke, but it excited Kate.

"Yeah! Let's tell him about Ethan. He has a right to know."

"He has a right to be destroyed," Jack muttered grumpily, but he followed Kate anyway. He wasn't going to leave those two alone together.

"Jack," Kate said as they tramped down the sand, "you need to take a chill pill. Seriously. You can't always be so... explosive."

"Kate, I'm chill. I'm cool as a cucumber," Jack said. Kate raised her eyebrows at him in mock dismay.

"You also need to stop saying that, Jack," she laughed. "'Cool as a cucumber' is not a very... normal thing to say."

"My dad used to say it," Jack explained. "He said he was cool as a cucumber and I was as cold as an ice cube. I think it was supposed to be an insult. "

Kate laughed again, but Jack didn't think it was very funny.

They reached the library and Kate pushed open the door eager. Jack thought that it being closed was unusual. Sawyer like people to feel welcome, invited. He was the sort who would have never locked his car doors, trusting that no one would break in.

Inside, Walt was ripping pages out of books angrily and Hurley was drinking a large glass of coffee. Scott and Steve were also there, having a political debate in the arm chairs in the corner.

Sawyer wasn't there.

"Huh," Jack said happily. "Maybe he's dead." Kate ignored him and went straight to Hurley.

"Hey, Hurley," she said cheerfully, "have you seen Sawyer?" Hurley frowned at her. Jack noticed that it was very unflattering.

"No, dude," said Hurley. "He's not here."

"_Really_?" Kate said, sounding annoyed. "I know. Where is he?"

"No idea," Hurley shrugged. "Ask Jack, he might know."

Jack guffawed from the doorway, enjoying Hurley's un-observance. He liked to feel superior to other people almost more than he liked his darling Kate.

"Thanks, Hurley," Kate said dully. She walked back to Jack with a look of irritation on her freckled face and grabbed his muscular arm to pull him out. Once outside Jack blinked a lot, his eyes having trouble taking in what he saw walking towards him for a second.

_She had never paid Jack any attention before. _

"Doctor?" Nikki asked, and Jack blushed, because she knew his profession. She was wearing a bikini top and jean shorts, so tan all over. She was so pretty Jack forgot to respond to her.

"Jack?" Kate said. "I think that woman would like to talk to you." Jack glanced at Kate, now annoyed at her presence. How dare _she_ be his fiancé instead of Nikki?!

"Hello, dear," Jack said with a bow, "how can I help you?"

Kate's face fell into an expression of disgust.

"Doctor," Nikki repeated shrilly, "is Sawyer really telling the truth? Are we really in danger from a–" she blushed, seeming embarrassed to say it– "vampire?"

"You're not in danger!" Jack said tenderly. "I'll keep you safe, Nikki."

Kate loudly cleared her throat. "Actually, Sawyer's right. We kind of are in danger right now. And Ethan is a vampire."

Nikki glared at Kate. "But, doctor, vampires don't exist, do they?" Jack shook his head, staring into her hypnotic gray eyes, and Kate slapped him.

"YES THEY DO!" she yelled at him. "Snap out of it!" She turned her rage towards Nikki. "When did Sawyer tell you this?"

"Just now," she replied. "In the jungle."

Jack was frightened. Not only did Sawyer steal Kate, but now he was caught up in a jungle romance with Nikki too? How did she know his name?

"Nikki," Jack whispered, "did Sawyer... touch you?"

"What!?" exclaimed Nikki and Kate at the same time. Jack shook himself. Now they were mad at him. Why had he let his imagination get the better of him? Besides, Nikki wasn't Jack's girlfriend. She was just a movie star that Jack deeply admired. He couldn't leave Kate for a stranger.

"Sorry," Jack said briskly. "We are in danger. But I have a plan now."

Kate stared at Jack, looking very angry. Nikki shuffled around uncomfortably. Jack smiled to win them back.

"I say that everyone hides in the caves," he said. "A few of the more competent survivors can stand guard for us around every entrance."

"That's a horrible idea," said a bald voice from behind them. "I'm ashamed of you, Jack. Aren't you, Boone?"

"Yes?"

Jack turned around, distressed, to see terrible Locke and Sawyer, and mediocre, injured Boone, clumped together apprehensively as they stared at Jack.

"Sawyer!" Kate squealed. "I couldn't find you. Where were you?"

"Looking for _you_," Sawyer said. "Ethan's–"

"Back!" Kate finished. "I know! Charlie, Jin and I were attacked by him!" Sawyer looked very concerned.

"Really? Me, too. Are you okay?" Jack felt that it wasn't Sawyer's place to be asking this. Jack was her boyfriend, and Sawyer was a nobody. But it was normal that someone would worry about the beautiful Kate's health.

"Who cares?" Locke interrupted, in equal parts infuriating and pleasing Jack. "We need a plan on how to deal with this, and I have a pretty good one made up."

"John," Jack said, "I already came up with the plan." He and Locke locked eyes with each other, each trying to convey their anger more aggressively. But Boone ruined the moment by suddenly shrieking in terror.

"Guys, look!" he said, and they followed his gaze.

Ethan was watching them from the roof of the library.

…...


	15. Dancing with the Devil part two

**Dancing with the Devil Part 2**

"So," Charlie began. "What do you wanna talk about, Claire? Would you like to play... I don't know, Truth or Dare?"

Charlie wasn't sure but he thought he saw Claire roll her eyes. She didn't respond to the question for some reason. Charlie wasn't really sure why. She had just been acting so sweet.

Claire stood up. "Charlie, I'm gonna go walk around, okay? I'm feeling restless." Charlie stared at her with wide eyes. Didn't she enjoy his company too? Besides, it wasn't a good idea for her to be walking around alone on the island when Ethan wanted nothing more than getting her back. Charlie never wanted anything to happen to Claire. She had to be safe.

But before he could tell her no Claire, please stay, don't go away she had stalked out of the caves. Charlie was going to stand up and get her but, for some unfair reason, he had a flashback instead. Curses.

_Charlie's and Lucy's footsteps rung out loudly in the huge museum. It had tall ceilings, lots of famous paintings, marble floors, and golden artifacts from long ago times. Each time Charlie noticed a new detail, the place just seemed even more expensive and valuable. He felt jealous. He'd never had much money._

_And Tommy wanted him to steal from this place? There were cameras everywhere! It was an impossible job, plus, Charlie's hands couldn't stop shaking. He thought he might be coming down with the flu... or withdrawal. His drugs had disappeared in the middle of the night,a note from Tommy in their place. It said– you guessed it– "We're gonna rob your girlfriend, Charlie". _

"_You really think your dad will want to employ me, Luce?" Charlie asked uncomfortably. She narrowed her eyes at him tenderly._

"_Charlie, why wouldn't he? You're honest, sweet, charming... What else could he want from a tour guide?" _

"_Competence," mumbled Charlie. Lucy put an arm around his shoulder gently and he tried to cheer up for her._

"_Just wait until you meet my father, Charlie. You'll get on like a house on fire."_

"_If you say so," Charlie said, not believing her one bit._

_Once they made it to the Meeting Place, a very fancy room that was closed off with ropes, Lucy gave Charlie a kiss on the cheek. "Go on, Charlie," she said, "I'm sure he'll love you."_

_Charlie took a deep breath and plunged into the room. _

_There was a large, ornate table in the center, which a middle-aged man was sitting at, drinking coffee out of a shot glass. The floors were very shiny and the walls covered with paintings of old, wigged men, and one of them appeared to be Lucy's dad._

"_Ah, Mr. Pace!" Lucy's dad said in an upper-crust British accent. He nodded at Charlie and indicated the chair across from him. "Please, take a seat."_

"_Yes sir," Charlie said in a rush, and he flung himself into the chair, nearly knocking over Mr. Lucy's Dad's coffee. "You must be..." He froze, not remembering his name. He cursed himself silently._

"_Francis Wimples David Orlando Heatherton," Lucy's dad said, not seeming offended. He smiled at Charlie but that just made Charlie even more nervous. They stared at each other for an excruciatingly long time, not saying a word. Charlie started sweating. _

"_Er, so, do you wanna see my resume?" he asked. Mr. Wimples Orlando Bloom, or whatever his name was, nodded. He looked like he didn't know what to expect from Charlie. Charlie slowly removed his resume from his plaid satchel and silently slid it across the table to Lucy's father._

"_You want to be a tour guide?" Lucy's dad asked. Charlie nodded quietly. "Have you any acting experience?" Charlie bopped his head towards the resume, too afraid to answer him out loud. _

"_Ah... let me see... School plays. That's all? Are you good with people?"_

"_Usually," Charlie whispered. _

"_I see," said Mr. Hawthorne in a very flat sort of voice. Charlie, in a panic, segued into his entertainment mode._

"_Yeah, I love people. I can appeal to a very diverse audience, too. Not to sound too self-satisfied, but every demographic loves me." _

_Mr. Heatherton look interested. Charlie continued hopefully._

"_I don't know if you heard, but I'm in– I was in a band?" _

"_Really?"_

"_Er, yeah," Charlie said. This was kind of a difficult subject for him now that Liam had ceased any form of communication with him. Li was now living in Australia with his wife. Charlie missed him and hated him in equal parts. "It was called _Drive Shaft_. I don't know if you've heard of us; we were kind of more popular in South Africa than anywhere else."_

"_Oh really?" Mr. Heatherton was definitely interested now. "I've never heard of _Drive Shaft_, but I'll be looking into that... South Africa, eh? Blimey." Charlie was shaking now in excitement. "I used to play in band too but no one much cared for it. It was called _The Rich and the Bloody Rich and the Bloody Messes, Too_, if I remember correctly."_

"_Oh, awesome!" Charlie said. "R and R? Punk?"_

"_Jazz," Mr. Heatherton said. "But we weren't very good."_

"_Oh, come on," Charlie grinned at him. "You can't have been too bad." _

"_Believe me, we were," Lucy's dad said. _

"_So how'd you get into the museum business?" Charlie asked, sitting up straighter in his chair to appear more professional. He could get this job. He could get this job and pay Tommy off and pay Lucy back _and_ buy plane tickets to Australia to visit Liam. He could make it._

"_I bought this museum when I was twelve years old," Mr. Heatherton said wistfully. "I had saved up money for a year, and I favored the exhibits here. Ever since, I've operated as it's manager."_

"_Fantastico, as they say in the land of Spain," Charlie said. "Judging by the amazing quality of this place, you must be terrific." Mr. Heatherton nodded bashfully. Charlie went on, hoping beyond hope that he could win the job. "As a tour guide I would help tell all the different stories that made this museum what it is today. I could entertain in an informative way that would not only interest the people that come, but excite them. I would do this all with a positive attitude... You've inspired me, Mr. Heatherton. Maybe one day we'll buy another museum– together. That would really make my life."_

"_That's it," Lucy's dad said. Charlie froze. What could he mean? "That's it! You're hired. When can you start work?"_

"_As soon as needed, sir," Charlie said, his voice wavering in excitement and relief. "I'll need to be given some information to learn for this, but really, I've memorized things before."_

"_Great!" Mr. Heatherton checked his watch. "I'm mildly apologetic, Mr. Pace, but I've got other business to attend to now. I'll give you a ring later on today and we'll talk more business."_

"_Brill," Charlie said, and after a quick handshake with Lucy's dad he was out the door, in the hall of the museum again, his head spinning in amazement. He hardly even remembered what he'd said to Mr. Francis Wimples Heatherton but was very impressed with his self of the past. _

_Lucy was waiting outside for him and when she saw his smile she dimpled back at him and embraced him lovingly. "You got the job!" she said. Charlie nodded, his chin digging into her back a little bit. _

"_You were right, Luce," he whispered. "Everything's fine." And he truly believed that. Until he was walking to Sinbad's apartment that night to hang out. He was all alone on the street, but he felt safe in his spiky shoes and soft, flexible jeans. If he was mugged he could defend himself. He even had a job now, which was very good. Sinbad would be jealous. _

_But his mood was quickly ruined when someone grabbed his shoulder from behind. He turned around shakily, forgetting about stuff like self-defense, and was surprised to see Tommy's pellucid face squinting at him cruelly._

"_Charlie," he hissed, making Charlie's skin crawl, "this_ "job"_ doesn't change a thing. You'll still rob your girlfriend. Because I don't need money. I _need_ her car."_

_Charlie remembered extreme confusion and fear, and then he woke up._

"Claire!" he said, jumping up wildly. "Where!?" He ran through the caves but he couldn't find Claire and some people got angry at him for almost causing another cave-in. Not that the first one had been anyone's fault but Locke's. And Charlie had saved the day then.

He had to save the day again. He couldn't let Claire get caught by Ethan. He had to protect her. He hadn't been able to keep Tommy from Lucy– and that had ended horribly. He couldn't repeat anything like that with his golden-haired sweetheart. She was so vulnerable, being pregnant and having amnesia. It was scary to him. Scarier than moth men, even.

He walked out of the caves and right away he saw Sun and Jin. He was relieved. Being alone on the island was dangerous. Even just being with one other person was. Actually, they hadn't proved that groups were any safer yet, but Charlie was sure they would. He ran up to the Koreans and gladly grabbed there hands. They stared at him, bewildered.

"Claire!" he said loudly and clearly. "Where?"

They stared at him. Sun shrugged sadly.

Charlie didn't give up. Pulling Jin and Sun behind him, he set off into the jungle to find Claire.

…...

"ETHAN!" Jack, Kate, and Locke shouted all at once, trying to jump up to the library's roof but missing and hitting each other instead. Jack and Kate fell onto the sand in a tangled mess and almost started kissing, but Locke collapsed onto them just then, and they rolled around, Locke and Jack punching each other as Kate cried and attempted to stand.

When they had all gotten up, Ethan was gone.

"Where'd he go!?" Jack demanded of Sawyer. Sawyer scowled at him.

"While you guys were lying around, he left a note up there and then ran off too fast for me to see. And you would have known that too if you had just _thought_ before you acted. All of you!" Sawyer was angry for some reason. Jack didn't know why. Sawyer didn't get angry; he just got sad and started crying instead (not manly tears like Jack's, but wimpy, Southern tears that were fueled, no doubt, by a deep, deep realization of his inadequacy).

"Sorry, Sawyer," Kate said, sounding rumpled. "I guess we kind of messed that one up..." Her face was red and blotchy and she looked ready to cry. "We'll never catch him! He's too fast and this island's too big!"

"You're right, it is big," Locke said, and Jack's stomach boiled with rage at his voice. You'd think that Locke would at least have caught Ethan just now, being such a famous hunter and all. Didn't people worship his mundane ability to catch things? Obviously, fame wasn't everything.

"Kate, please don't cry," Sawyer whispered intimately. "It's not you're fault he got away. He's just too fast, like you said."

"Sawyer, leave her alone!" Jack snapped. "She's not your girl anymore, and you know it."

Locke looked impatient. "Is this really the time for romantic troubles, Jack!?" he asked rudely. "We need to focus on Ethan. What do you think would be a good plan, Boone?"

Boone just shook his head, rubbing his leg gingerly, and Jack swore. "Locke, did you hurt him again!?" he demanded. "Tell me. NOW."

"He didn't hurt me," Boone mumbled, just as Shannon and Sayid walked up to the group, looking concerned.

"Are you okay?" Sayid asked them. "Shannon and I heard screaming. Is everything all right?"

"No," said Nikki cattily, "duh. We're stuck on an island, without showers and good food and I can't become super rich here with diamonds. So no. Everything is not all right."

"Ethan's back," Sawyer explained.

"What!?" Shannon shrank into Sayid's arms fearfully. "Where?"

"We don't know where he went because those losers all stared rolling around on the ground for some strange reason instead of catching him," said Steve, who had joined the group along with Scott.

"Shut up, all of you stupid people!" Jack yelled at them, turning the attention back to himself. "I have a plan, so all of you can _calm _down!"

"Your plan is rubbish!" Locke shouted back.

"Plan for what?" asked Hurley. Jack wished they would stop listening in on this. Why didn't they all just go mind their own business? It was supposed to be a private conversation.

"The plan for my RAAAAAAAAAFT?" Michael said. Walt then kicked him in the shin, but Locke pulled him away before he could do anymore damage.

Jack was trying to pull out his hair but it was too short. He breathed in deeply, very, very stressed out. "No, no, no," he said to the group in general, which now also included Charlie, Sun, Jin, and Rose. "This is a plan for how to deal with Ethan's return. You all know who Ethan is, right?"

The insanely large group nodded, all staring at Jack. He tried to relax– cool as a cucumber– but he was too worked up at the moment.

"Well, he's back. And he wants Claire back, too. Yes, we have Claire again. And she is alive."

He paused for all the cheers and curious chattering, then went on. They all were silent again. Jack loved the attention.

"Now, this may come as a shock to most of you, but Ethan wants to kill us all."

Nikki screamed. Some olive-skinned guy shushed her and held her hand and Jack realized that she had a boyfriend. It offended him, but after glancing back at Kate, with her luxurious chocolate curls, he was able to continue.

"He'll only kill us, see, if we don't give him Claire. So, here's what we–"

"THEN GIVE HIM CLAIRE!" someone yelled. Jack looked around all over for the source of the interruption. It was that idiot, Arzt. Charlie was now pushing through the crowd looking vengeful, Kate was telling Shannon very loudly and pointedly about how some people were brainless jerks, and even Locke had viciously pulled a knife out of his pocket.

"Who is Claire?" asked Sully, who Jack though must have been the most annoying person in the world. Jack silenced everyone by blowing a whistle that he'd been keeping in his pocket. Most of them looked murderous, but they let Jack talk anyway.

"Claire Littleton," Jack said quietly, so that everyone would have to focus to hear him, "is a blonde Australian native in her early twenties. She's very pregnant, very sweet, and also very needy. As the de facto leader, it's my job to protect her, to protect all of you."

"And you're doing a great job of it," said Scott politely. "We all owe you a lot."

Steve seemed to disagree. "Well then, what's your plan, Jack? How do we avoid being murdered by this Ethan man?"

"Who is Ethan anyway?" Rose asked.

"A vampire who infiltrated our camp and tricked us all," said Hurley. "He was living on the island before us."

"Are vampires real?" Nikki's boyfriend asked. He had an annoying Brazillian accent that made Jack's neck itchy, a feeling he always got before he punched someone.

"That's debatable," Sayid replied.

"SHUT UP!" Kate yelled suddenly. "LET JACK TALK OR WE'LL GET NOTHING DONE!" Jack felt proud of her, how well she controlled the crowd. She and Jack were soulmates, really. They were so similar.

Jack swept his gaze over to anxious crowd. It seemed like all the survivors were there, other than Claire. They all looked up to him. It was... beautiful. "My plan is that we get everyone inside the caves, and station armed guards around every entrance. We can even have people take shifts. As long as we stay alert, there's no way Ethan could get in."

"Jack, you're wrong," Locke said. "Ethan wants us to all flock together like sheep. That way he can get rid of us faster. I say that two groups are safer than one. Half of us will stay at the beach, and the other half will hide in the caves."

Jack felt his face go red with frustration, but he had to admit that Locke had a point. He thought like a killer, and that made him even more dangerous. Jack decided that to avoid a scene, he would agree to Locke's plan. This time.

"Fine," he said, and Sayid gasped in obvious surprise. "You're right, John. We can do that. Now who wants to be a guard?"

Half the group, the part that Jack had never bothered to meet, wandered away, looking bored. They got into their little cabins, closed their little curtains, and went on with their hopeless lives.

"I'll be a guard, naturally," said Kate, taking setting up at once. Jack nodded at her stiffly, knowing in his brain that she was probably the best choice possible, though his heart wanted her to be kept super safe. She'd already been attacked by Ethan once this day. Two attacks could be avoided.

"I'll guard, too," said Sawyer. "I've read all about vampires."

"Of course, I'll watch over the beach," Locke said confidently. "I know this area of the island like the back of my hand and I can set up traps around the perimeter." Jack rolled his eyes. Yes, Locke could make traps. How clever. Jack wanted to watch Locke try and perform spinal surgery, just to knock his confidence down a few notches. The creep.

"Do you want me to help you?" Boone asked him.

"No, stay with Jack," Locke said. "I'll do it alone. I'll be okay. You stay too, Walt."

Walt looked sad.

"Anyone else want to guard?" Jack asked briskly. He glanced up at the sky and was worried to see that it was almost sundown. "Sayid?"

"Have I a choice?" Sayid moaned. Then he grinned barbarically. "Sure, anything to help. Boone, you watch over Shannon while I'm working."

Boone looked overjoyed.

"Great," Jack said. "And I'll help too. Okay, guys, we're going back to the caves. Um... luck, Locke. Watch over the beach bums carefully, I hate to see any of them die." Locke shook his head forbiddingly at Jack, which was kind of an odd response in Jack's opinion. An annoyingly odd one. One that made Jack very upset.

"Um, mans," Michael said shyly. "I'm gonna stay and work on my RAAAAAAAFT."

"Mr. Locke, please give him to Ethan," begged Walt. Jack quickly got involved. They had to get moving if they didn't all want to die.

"No, he's coming. Everyone that's here with me right now, excepting _only_ Locke, is going to the caves. Come on!"

He marched away so that they had no choice to follow him.

The sun began setting as they tramped through the jungle, and Jack looked over all his people. He knew all of them, which was good and bad. Good that he didn't have to meet anyone new right now. Bad that he might be sad if they died, however unlikely that was. But he felt that someone was missing. He was going to protect everyone he knew here except... except...

He couldn't remember, but it was too late now anyway. A trip back through the jungle could very well be suicide, something Jack frowned upon. When they got to the caves, though, he felt like beating himself up.

"Jack," Hurley told him, "Scott's still at the beach."

Jack swore to himself, knowing that even though Scott was Locke's responsibility to protect now, he would blame himself if anything happened to the man. Because Jack was the de facto leader. He had to save the survivors. Not let them die.

Because he had what it took. And no else here did.

…...

"Oh, there you are, Claire. I couldn't find you anywhere." Charlie gazed down at Claire carefully. She was sitting on the Doctor Rock, kicking her legs back and forth thoughtfully, rubbing her belly. Charlie frowned at her. He was worried.

"Hi, Charlie," she said. "Sorry I kind of walked out on you. I'm just feeling sort of... restless."

Charlie nodded silently. She couldn't go wandering around alone anymore. Not tonight. Possibly not ever again. Ethan might not be the only monster on the island.

Charlie wondered what Claire would do if she found out about Ethan's threats. Pretty badly, probably. She'd feel guilty. Charlie didn't want that, but he felt guilty because he wasn't telling her anything. She deserved to know. Who was he to keep things from her?

Charlie sighed. He wasn't the only person on the island that knew about Ethan. It wasn't really his responsibility to tell her everything.

"Hey, Charlie," Sawyer said, striding over to him casually. "How's it going."

"Very painfully, I must say. I wish this curse would go away." Charlie brushed his hair with his fingers and rubbed his eyes.

"It will one day," Sawyer said. Just then Jack stalked up to them.

"Sawyer, are you planning on guarding tonight or not?" he grumbled at the Southerner. Claire looked confused, and Charlie suddenly felt very panicky inside. He didn't want her to find out. But Jack and Sawyer continued going at it, despite Charlie's frantic head-shaking. Sawyer crossed his arms and nodded slowly, looking like an angry cowboy.

"Jack, do we have any sort of weapons to use?" he asked. Jack laughed.

"Yeah, dummy. We've got guns."

"What do we need guns for?" Claire asked, and Charlie felt sick.

"To protect you, of course," Jack snapped. "Duh." Charlie felt sicker.

"Why do I need protected?" she asked shrilly. "What's going on? Explain!" Charlie felt sickest. He needed to tell her now. She wouldn't settle without the truth.

"Someone wants to kidnap you again. So we're keeping you safe inside our den." Claire stared into his eyes for a moment. Charlie reached out to comfort her. But then their gaze broke and Claire started yelling at them all.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" she yelled. "Someone wants to kidnap me– again? When was I kidnapped before? I can't trust you people– I don't know you, or where I am, or what is going on– and if you explain, PLEASE, do it without RHYMING, for God's sake! I'm SICK OF THIS! I'M SICK OF BEING CONFUSED!"

"Calm down!" Jack growled. "I don't have time for this. Look, a guy named Ethan kidnapped you a couple days after our plane crashed here. I guess he gave you amnesia. Sawyer found you in the jungle, and now Ethan wants you back, so we're gonna protect you, okay, Claire? I've gotta split."

And he stormed off. Sawyer glanced apologetically at Claire and Charlie.

"I've gotta go, too. Ah... I'll check back with you two in a while." He smiled at them a little, dimpling as usual, and followed Jack's path.

Claire was frowning at the floor, drawing circles with her finger on the dusty rocks. Charlie sat there watching her for a long time, thinking or her. And Lucy. He wondered why he had flashbacks about such awful things all the time.

After almost an hour of silence, the sun had gone down, and the little light they'd gotten from a hole in the wall was gone. Kate swung by with a torch for them and set it carefully between two rocks.

"Thanks," Claire said quietly. Kate smiled at them, looking strained.

"You're welcome. Jack told me that you knew what was going on." Kate frowned at Charlie for a moment, but he shook his head darkly.

"Yeah, he did," Claire said. "You guys– thanks for protecting me."

"Not just you," Kate shrugged. "Everyone." She frowned again. "But we're not armed properly. Ethan's a vampire. We have guns. That doesn't work out."

"I always suspected vampires existed..." Claire sighed. "Why don't you just tell the doctor that you need stakes and garlic?"

"He won't listen," Kate moaned. "Anyway, I've gotta get back to my post. Claire, we're all just so happy to have you back. Charlie and me especially."

They watched her as she skipped away.

"I guess I shouldn't hand myself over then, should I?" Claire said, a smile tugging at her lips. Charlie shook his head. No way would he let her do that. Jack and Kate would protect them all. They would find a way do this without losing Claire.

…...

Locke paced back and forth along the beach, completely alert at midnight. He held a stake in one hand and a sword in the other, and traps were set along the perimeter of the beach. The survivors were totally safe.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming toward him from the sand. He turned in their direction, getting into a fighting stance, ready for anything.

It was just Scott, though. His blonde hair was shining in the moonlight, making a halo above his head. He looked tired.

"John?"

"Yes?" Locke said testily. He couldn't afford to lose focus by having a conversation right now. Scott was being stupid. Didn't he know that it was dangerous to be out tonight?

"Is it really wise to just have one guard for the entire beach camp? I've been lying awake in my bed in fear, to be honest."

"It's safe," Locke said. "Don't worry. Go get some rest. You need it."

Scott nodded quietly and walked back to his cabin. Locke continued his stake out in total silence. Until–

There was a whirring noise above him, and he looked up to see Seth Norris floating above the trees. He waved for Locke to join him in the jungle, then flew off.

Locke started breathing heavily. He wasn't sure what to do. It was his job to watch these people, but really, when was he ever going to get another another chance with Seth Norris!? Besides, Jack always bragged about being the "de facto leader". It was his fault if his faithful followers died.

After slipping his weapons back into Sawyer's stash to hide them, Locke sneaked into the jungle. Excitement bubbled in his veins. Finally, after an entire month, Seth wanted to talk with him. Locke thought of Seth as this magical island's protecter. He worshiped the island, and Seth. Locke worshipped almost anything possible. He believed in all the religions he could find, and also believed in other mystical stuff, like astrology, the Greek and Roman gods, Wicca, _anything_. He knew that the secret of his destiny was hidden somewhere in there, and he would try to find it even if it sacrificed any shot he might have had at a peaceful afterlife.

Seth was waiting for Locke inside the jungle. Without a word, he began walking further in, and Locke followed him without hesitation.

He recognized the path they were taking. It led to the hatch. Locke grew even more excited. Maybe Seth would tell him how to open it! That would be amazing!

By the time they reached the hatch, Locke was quivering with anticipation. What did Seth want? Locke was fully prepared for an attack now, too, but he didn't really expect one. Seth should know by now that he and Locke were kindred spirits.

"Hello, Seth," Locke said, keeping the joy out of his voice carefully. Seth looked him over approvingly, then nodded several times.

"So, you found the hatch," he said proudly. "Good. Very good. But you don't know how to open it."

"No," admitted Locke. "I haven't given up yet, though."

"Good." Seth smiled. "Well. How about I give you a clue?"

Locke couldn't keep the grin off his face. He knew it. He knew that Seth wanted to help him. One day, maybe, he and Locke could rule the island together. They would be the real leaders– doctors need not apply for the job.

"Please, Seth, I would be eternally grateful," Locke said, and Seth grinned. He reached slowly into his pocket and pulled out a photograph. Locke crept closer to see it, squinting slightly to make out the image because of the dark. It was a picture of a small plane, lodged into a cliff in what Locke immediately recognized as somewhere in this island's jungle. He looked up at Seth Norris for more details.

"You have ten days to find this plane. It's hidden deep inside my jungle. Inside the plane you will find another clue that will lead you to a resource that can open the hatch and unleash it's secrets. After ten days, I will move the plane, and the clue. That's all I have to say." Seth winked at Locke and jumped. Instead of landing he stayed suspended in the air, spread out his arms and flew away. Locke nodded to himself, and picked up the photo from where Seth had dropped it on the ground.

He stared at it for hours, trying to deceiver any secrets it might hold inside. He didn't realize he'd taken so long. By the time he'd finally gotten up, the sun was beginning to rise. He swore.

Any time now, Jack might come back to the beach and find Locke missing. He would aggravate Locke for days on end if he found he'd abandoned his station.

Locke slipped the photo into his pocket and ran back to beach.

…...

Jack and Kate stared.

The wreckage was horrible. Everything on the beach was _completely destroyed_, including the library. And everyone was gone. Except Scott. His mangled, bloodless body lay in the middle of the sand, in plain view, for everyone to see.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh MY GOD!" Kate started shaking violently in Jack's arms and he hugged her closer, rubbing her belly, trying to sooth her. It wasn't working. She was too shocked. And frankly, so was Jack.

"OH NO, PLEASE NO!" someone yelled from behind them. Jack turned around and saw Steve, pale and frightened-looking, running down to the beach towards them. "_SCOTT_!"

Jack watched morosely as Steve tumbled to the ground in front of his only friend. Steve shook Scott's body harshly, as if to suck the life back into him, but it didn't work. Ethan had killed him, there was no way around it. And shaking the man couldn't bring him back to life.

"Oh, Jack," Kate moaned, burying her face in his muscular chest. Jack stroked her hair, anger welling up inside him and the thought of why this had happened. Obviously, Locke hadn't done his job.

"Oh, my, oh dear, what happened here?" Charlie gasped. He had made it out of the jungle with Claire. Soon enough, everyone would be back out and see the nightmarish scene that lay before them all. Ethan was truly a monster.

When Sun and Jin came out and started screaming in Korean, Jack decided he'd had enough. Grabbing Kate's hand, he stalked down the beach. He was going to find Locke. And kill him.

Locke's normal hang out (as far as Jack knew) was a little plateau above the ocean, about half a mile away from the beach camp. As Jack walked he tried not to feel too disgusted to be walking on some of the same sand as Locke had at some point in his twisted, irrational life.

When he spotted Locke, who was indeed sitting on the plateau, staring at the water, he snarled in spite of himself. Kate wiped her eyes and saw Locke too. Her face hardened, and she and Jack exchanged a ruthless look with each other. She knew what that creep deserved.

"Hello, John," Jack snarled. Locke turned around, putting something into his pocket very quickly at the same time. "How _interesting_ to find you here."

"Hello, Jack," Locke said, sounding, somehow, serene. Jack couldn't believe it. He began running towards the Bald, but someone grabbed him from behind and stopped him.

"LET ME GO!" he shouted, turning around to find Sawyer. Tears streamed down the Southerner's stubbly face. Jack hated that and tore off his own shirt, not bothering to struggle with Sawyer's grip. He didn't want the shirt to rip anyway; it had been expensive. Sawyer looked down at Jack's chest, seeming surprised and not able to think of anything to next. Jack took that moment to continue barreling towards Locke.

"Sawyer, just let him go," Kate said sadly from behind him. Sawyer apparently listened to her, because he didn't follow Jack. Right now, Jack's plan was to knock John down into the water using his shoulder as a weapon. He'd practiced this attack on evildoers many times before in his righteous past.

But Jack had never fought someone with equal skills before, and barely stopped himself from falling off the cliff when Locke rolled out of the way.

"You'll have to try harder than that to get rid of me," Locke said. Jack leaped at him, stretching his body out in midair like a flying squirrel to cover more width, but Locke dived underneath him and came up from behind. With his sweaty hands, he pulled Jack down onto the ground and twirled him around to see him, face to face. Jack had never seen such an ugly sight in his life.

"John, let go of me before I bite your nose off!" he rasped at him. Locke scowled.

"Jack, calm down!" Sawyer yelled, but Jack ignored him. Because Locke hadn't let him go, and Jack wasn't one to break promises, he leaned forward as far as he could and took several vicious snaps at Locke's face.

"JACK!" Sawyer yelled again. Jack stopped, breathing hard. It hadn't worked. Locke's face was still completely intact. The Bald smiled at him and just shook his head.

"John," Kate said coldly, "explain yourself. Everyone that was on the beach is dead."

"Not dead," Locke said calmly as he got Jack into an elbow-over-arm bar, "just gone. Except for Scott."

"How did that happen?" Sawyer asked, sounding distraught. "Weren't you guarding them?"

Locke smiled blandly at them and didn't answer.

"John, John, John," Jack said, grimacing and shaking his head, feeling insane. "You have no heart, do you? You have no _soul_. You have no care whatsoever for other living creatures. You have no empathy. But you do, _sir_, have issues."

"So do you," Locke replied sharply. "So does everyone here. Look, we can't change the fact that all those people are missing. Just forget about it."

Jack shouted swear words at Locke while Sawyer turned around and counted to ten in a very strained voice.

"Look, John," Sawyer said, turning back towards them, "the fact is that you didn't protect these people. No one from the caves died. We guarded them the whole time, and they're all safe. Did you abandon your post? Please, just tell us. We won't be angry."

"No," Locke said icily. "I don't know how Ethan got past my constant, vigilant guard."

"LIAR!" Jack said. "SCOTT'S DEAD AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Calm down, Jack," Sawyer warned, so Jack stood up and tried to work himself up further. He couldn't, though: Kate had grabbed his hand and begun to stroke it up and down, at a tempo of exactly 88 beats per minute, and he relaxed unwillingly. It was upsetting that she knew how to tame him.

"Look, what we have to discuss now is the fact that Ethan obviously wasn't lying when he threatened us. We have to find a way to kill him," Kate said pragmatically.

"Let's kill Locke instead," Jack said, but the fun had gone out of saying stuff like that.

"What if..." Locke began. He smiled disturbingly. "What if we pretended to give Claire to him, but in reality we were actually waiting for him..."

"With stakes..." Kate said.

"In the bushes..." Sawyer said.

"To kill him." Jack liked the idea, actually. It was violent, and he needed to be violent right now. He needed to work off all this new rage he had.

"But we'd need Claire to agree to this first, of course," Sawyer said in his stupid nice way.

"Tough luck," Locke chortled. Jack understood that somehow. Claire was a very needy, finnicky person and would no doubt refuse to help.

"No," said an Australian voice from behind them. "I'll do it."

Claire stood before them, hands placed bravely on her hips, ready for action.

…...

Charlie was distraught.

Claire was going to act as bait in a plan to lure Ethan to them. Once they caught Ethan, they would get answers out of him. Then kill him.

They hadn't even let Charlie join the action team to come with Claire. Kate, Jack, Locke, Sayid, Sawyer and Steve were all allowed to go but when Charlie had asked to come along, Locke had slapped him hard across the face. He really did hate Charlie, which was quite horrible to think of.

It was still several hours until sundown. Kate, Sawyer, and Locke were busy carving stakes out of white ash wood to thrust into Ethan's chest. Sayid and Jack had agreed to letting them do that, but were bringing guns along as an extra precaution.

Not being able to come with them was dreadful. Even Kate agreed that they had too many people as it were going to try and hide in the bushes, and if they had seven people it apparently wouldn't be very secretive. Charlie disagreed; he would be quiet. Ethan wouldn't notice him. He just had to be there to watch over Claire. He needed to be.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot as he watched Kate carve a large piece of wood. He didn't quite know how to express his need without seeming to rude, or desperate. He wished he didn't have to rhyme, too. It bothered just about everyone.

That reminded him that he had wanted Sawyer's help to finish off the curse. Now, though, it probably wasn't possible, seeing as the library had been destroyed last night.

Ethan was so violent and powerful, and sneaky. He had gotten past Locke's constant, vigilant guard of the beach and kidnapped like fifteen people without the Bald even noticing. Very impressive. But very bad.

Just then, Claire walk by, dressed practically in yoga pants, a baggy tee-shirt and a nylon jacket. She was ready for the plan. It filled Charlie with anxiousness, seeing her like that, and he remembered when he'd felt the same way about Lucy.

Just the thought of his ex-girlfriend sent him into a flashback.

"_Good-night, sweetheart," Charlie said to Lucy, adding a kiss to her cheek for a special present. She beamed at him. _

"_Good-night, you," she said. Charlie watched her out of the corner of his eye as he walked back to his car. She was so precious to him. He got into his jeep, shivering a little in the cold, still thinking of Lucy. He was never going to steal from her. He couldn't._

_He pulled out of her long drive way carefully and started driving back to the city. He was half way to his house when he glanced behind himself and nearly jumped out of the car in shock._

"_Hey there, Charlie," Tommy smirked, enjoying Charlie's fear. _

"_Why are you– what– get out," Charlie said, trying to sound angry. It ended out sounding like a timid whisper, though. _

"_No, we've got something to discuss."_

"_Tommy!" Charlie begged. _

"_We're going to rob your girlfriend, Charlie," Tommy went on calmly. "Make a right." Without thinking, Charlie made a right onto Twelfth St. He didn't really care. He didn't want Tommy to know where he lived, anyway. _

"_Tommy, please. I can't live like this. I'm already a mess because of withdrawal–" _

_Tommy cut Charlie with a cruel glare and a weird_ chzipp!_ing noise that made Charlie shiver. "Charlie, kid, so sorry you can't live without drugs. Maybe you'll learn not to spend owed money on shoes and dates. Look, buddy, I'm going to steal your girl's car, and your going to help me. That's the end of it. Make a left."_

_Charlie made a left, praying silently for help. Tommy obviously need special care from mental hospitals or something. He wasn't really sane. _

"_Look, Charlie, we're just gonna do it tonight. Get it over with." Tommy's voice was so eerily relaxed. Charlie couldn't stand it anymore._

"_Why do you even need a car!?" he blurted out. Tommy raised his eyebrows._

"_Why not? Look, she must own a Ferrari. She's rich. I got a friend who needs a good car. Gonna loan it to him. He's got a job to do."_

"_Oh really?" Charlie asked shakily. "Who is this friend?"_

"_His name's Thomas," Tommy said. "Make a right on Mellark Rd."_

_Charlie realized where they were going and stopped the car. It didn't really matter, no one else was out driving. "You're taking me out to the museum."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Why?"_

"_Because, Charlie, we're gonna wait for her until morning. When she goes inside, then we'll do it. She won't suspect a thing; I'll be hidden in the back."_

_Charlie started rocking back and forth, trying to get out of the situation. "Er, why can't I go home first?"_

"_I gotta keep an eye on you," Tommy said. "And I also gotta gun."_

_That was the point when Charlie began obeying every one of Tommy's orders. He hated himself as they waited in the museum's parking lot. Hated himself for being weak. For backing down to a gun. Liam wouldn't have been afraid. Then again, Liam was never afraid, and that didn't always work out for him. It was kind of like leprosy. He could hurt himself badly without noticing. _

_Lucy got to the museum around 6:00 in the morning. Charlie was parked in the corner of the parking lot, so she didn't see them. She just walked into work, completely innocent. Charlie was so angry he could spit on Tommy, but the man had a gun, so Charlie restrained himself._

"_Tommy," he said, trying to be rational, and the next thing he knew he was knocked out by the butt of the gun. _

_When he woke up, he was parked outside Lucy's house. In her car. _

…_..._

It was time for action.

The sun was setting, and all the weapons were prepared. Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Locke, Sayid, and Steve were armed and dangerous, wearing jeans and jackets. It was slightly overcast, like it was going to rain, but they didn't care. They were going to get Ethan no matter what it took.

Claire was taking a couple minutes to calm herself, breathing deeply, sitting in the corner. She had read her old diary earlier, and it had felt just– bizarre, really to read something she wrote and no remember a thing about it.

Charlie didn't want her to go. He'd made that very clear. But Claire had seen what Ethan done to the beach. If she could get help get rid of him, she would. He was the bad guy. And Claire wanted to be a good guy.

When Kate came to collect Claire, her mind was set. She could do this. It was the bravest thing she'd ever done, but she could do it. Charlie saw her going and leapt to his feet.

"Claire, please, be safe out there. I'm just– I love you, Claire." He stared at her, his eyes wide and frightened, and Claire felt like crying.

"I'll be safe, Charlie," she whispered. "Don't worry."

Kate frowned sadly at them and led Claire away. Out of the group she had to go with, she trusted Kate and Sawyer the most. The others just bothered her, with their strange violence and anger.

"Hey, hey," Sawyer said soothingly when he saw her wet eyes. "Don't cry, Claire. You'll be fine. You're brave. You can do this."

Claire nodded and followed them out of the caves, tears dripping down her face. She didn't want to cry. She really didn't, but she was so afraid.

They walked quietly through the forest, Jack leading the group with a bright flashlight. They got to a spot that had a very large, pretty tree, and stopped.

Jack hissed instructions at the guards, and they hid behind various trees. Then Jack put Claire in just the right position and nodded at her, calm. She gave him a watery smile, and shivered.

It started raining very soon after that. Claire was soaking wet and freezing. And she was terrified. Any second now, a vampire was going to be sneaking out of the bushes to kidnap her. A terrible, bloodthirsty vampire who had super strength and speed.

She could hear her guards breathing hard all around her. She wanted to run. But she had agreed to the plan. She wanted to get rid of Ethan, didn't she?

Suddenly, there was a loud zipping noise in circles around them. Claire looked to her left and choked on a scream. She was sure she'd seen Ethan zoom past, but he wasn't there anymore. The zipping noise got louder on her right. She turned, and sure enough, there was Ethan, running faster than any human had ever done.

Then he was right in front of her.

"Hi, Claire," he said softly, staring directly into her eyes. She spluttered and whimpered, hugging her belly, and stepped away from him reflexively.

"No you don't," Ethan said, a smirk in his voice. "Don't walk away. You're coming with me."

The edges of Claire's vision went foggy and black. She was going to pass out. Everything seemed very distant all of a sudden. But then Jack jumped out and came to her rescue.

Jack grabbed Ethan from behind, and Sayid jumped on him from above. Locke tore out of the bushes with a stake, and stabbed Ethan in the leg. Kate and Steve followed behind him, stakes in hand, and Sawyer stepped in front of Claire, protecting her.

"WHAT IS GOING ON!?" Ethan roared, struggling against the many people that were covering him. Kate stabbed her stake into his other leg and he let out a horrendous scream of pain and fury.

Steve got Ethan's right arm, and Jack got his left. He was completely pinned to the jungle floor. Claire winced. She couldn't look at that. It was disgusting.

Kate was on top of Ethan now, breathing hard. She had a manic looked of hatred on her face that scared Claire. "Hi there, vampire," she whispered to him. "Thought you'd kidnap her again, didn't you?"

"Kate, be careful," Jack said.

"Ethan. Where do you come from?" Sayid asked coolly. Ethan snarled at them before answering. He sounded very wounded.

"The island. I was born and raised here."

Sayid took in this information, swallowing bitterly. "Are you a vampire?"

"YESSS!" Ethan hissed. Sawyer gave Jack a brief, triumphant look. Jack rolled his eyes, looking confused. Sayid was just about to ask something else, when someone new entered the clearing.

It was Charlie. And he had a stake.

…...

Charlie was ready. He saw Ethan. Ethan was injured, vulnerable. Charlie had picked up an extra stake and was ready to do this.

He marched up to Ethan and stared at him, the vampire who had tried to kill him, who had kidnapped Claire, who had cursed him, who had killed Scott. He deserved to die. He really did. If anyone in the world deserved to die, he did.

Ethan stared back at Charlie for a moment, then smirked. "You can't do it," he taunted. Charlie's resolve was suddenly rock hard.

"You, sir, deserve the worst of punishments. Ethan, crossing me was a big mistake. You've tried to hurt people I desperately love. And so– through your heart–" he hefted the stake high in the air, tears of rage in his light blue eyes– "I plunge this stake!"

With one long, fluid motion he drove the stake down, down, down, not stopping when he hit Ethan's flesh. He kept going, crying hard, pushing and pushing, willing that evil, gloating look to leave the vampire's eyes forever. He pushed, blood squirting everywhere, until the stake touched the ground underneath Ethan. But the vampire was still not dead.

"You missed," Ethan gasped.

Charlie pulled the stake out, which hurt his arm, but someone grabbed it from him before he could stab again. Charlie was so blinded by tears that he couldn't see who it was.

"STEVE, LET CHARLIE DO IT!" Kate yelled desperately from the sidelines. Obviously, though, Steve thought it was his right, and he stabbed Ethan directly where the heart was supposed to lie on the chest.

"DIE, MONSTER!" he yelled, somehow still managing to sound boring. Charlie reached over and helped him shove it down into Ethan's chest, hoping that this was really going to kill him.

It did. But right before death overcame him, Ethan managed to scare them all out of their skins.

"You're next..." he moaned. "_You're all next_."

Then he died.

"Sorry, Ethan," Charlie said quietly. And he didn't have to rhyme it. The curse had been broken.

…...

_Lucy got home from work around an hour later. She had been crying. When she saw Charlie in her car, she screamed and ran over._

"_Charlie! What are you doing?" she demanded. He was about to come up with a heroic answer (lie) but just then Tommy walked down the driveway, dressed like a detective._

"_Ma'am, be careful," he said in his high pitched voice. "That man in the car is dangerous."_

_Lucy stared from Charlie to Tommy, her eyes wide and confused. "What do you mean, dangerous? He's my boyfriend."_

"_He stole your car," Tommy said. Charlie felt faint. Everything was going wrong. Obviously, all along Tommy's plan had been to turn Lucy against him! How could he want that? Charlie didn't deserve this! To calm down, Charlie turned on his car radio super loud. It numbed his brain in a satisfactory way._

"_CHARLIE TURN THAT OFF!" Lucy yelled. Charlie did so, quavering with fright. Maybe he'd gone insane! Please, let him go insane. "Charlie, did you steal my car?"_

"_How– why, how could you think that? Don't you lo– care about me?" Charlie was deeply hurt. Tommy cackled like a dog again._

"_He did, ma'am. He's a wanted drug-addict."_

"_No!" Lucy exclaimed in shock. "Not Charlie!"_

"'_Fraid so."_

_Charlie leaned over and threw up all over Lucy's car. He was covered with sweat. Maybe he was a druggie, but he hadn't stolen this car and he wasn't wanted by the police. He had no idea why Lucy believed Tommy so easily._

"_Luce–"_

_Before Charlie could explain, the sky lit up bright blue and the word "TOM" was flashed across the sky. While Charlie and Lucy were distracted, Tommy grabbed Lucy, whistled, and a car drove up to the drive way, driven by a young guy with light, spiked brown hair. Tommy and Lucy were pulled into the car and drove off._

_Charlie blinked away the after images of the flash, wondering how is life had been destroyed so quickly and simply._

…_..._

"CHARLIE, YOU JERK!" Jack shouted at him. "NOW WE CAN'T ASK HIM ANY MORE QUESTIONS!" But Charlie didn't listen to Jack as he and Claire marched back to the caves, now safe.

"CHARLIE, YOU'RE A HERO, IGNORE JACK!" Kate called after them. Charlie ignored this, too, feeling numb. When he got to the caves, Joe the Moth Man was waiting for him. Charlie didn't even jump when he saw him. He just smiled blandly and dragged Claire away.

"Hey, hey!" Joe said. "Charlie! I need to talk to you, pal!"

Charlie stopped. "What?" It felt good not to rhyme, but Charlie felt to grumpy to really care. At least Ethan was gone though. No one would take Claire now. She wasn't Lucy.

"Listen, bud," Joe said. "That thing you just did– WOW, so tough– well, you deserve a bigger acorn. Almost as big as mine. You're mighty impressive."

"Charliewhatisthatthing," Claire said, sucking in her breath quickly, her turquoise eyes huge. Charlie took the acorn from Joe, waved him away, and led Claire back into his cave room before answering her. She looked slightly impatient.

"That was Joe," Charlie explained tiredly. "Listen, Claire. I love you. I need you. But can I please get some sleep? I'm exhausted."

"Oh," Claire said. "Yeah."

She wandered away, looking terrified still. Luckily, Sawyer and Kate took over with her so Charlie could get some rest.

He felt like he deserved it, and smiled down at his new acorn. His new badge of honor._ I have Claire, I have a bed, and now, I can safely, soundly, rest my head._ And stop this bloody rhyming forever.

…...

"Boone!" Locke hissed, waking Boone up very rudely and suddenly. Boone sat up, rubbing his eyes as hard as he could to clear the blurriness. He blinked a few times. Now Locke was as clear as a pitcher of flowers.

"Whaat?" he groaned. Locke's face was full of excitement, which was very unusual as of late. He was always grumpy because the hatch wasn't opening.

"Look at this!"

Locke shoved a strange picture of a plane underneath his nose and waved it around a little. Obviously it was very important.

"What's this?" Boone groaned. Locke grinned at him, looking rugged and evil, and rubbed his hands together. They were all greasy for some reason.

"A clue. I found a clue."

LOST


End file.
